I literally said the other day, I wonder if my health could get worse and it fucking did today. I black out where it’s like my vision is gone and my head is all fuzzy. I forget where I am, who I am, basically I don’t know what the fuck is happening. I usually catch myself when I fall but today I actually fell for real. my body twisted basically and I fell. my body has been weak a lot lately. I know all my systems are fucked but today, it came out of nowhere. I’m not going to the ER unless I’m vomiting or coughing up blood. I’m also so tired of going to the ER and being made to feel as if I’m there as a joke. I know they can’t do much but it literally enrages me when I’m there and I feel like I’m dying and nobody gives a shit. we talk and joke about our conditions but it’s actually so fucking scary when we get new symptoms. and we know doctors won’t always take us serious. I feel like we are using all of our energy to function and try to find a way to survive and we don’t have any energy left. I’m at this point where I’m like how many times do we have to prove that we are sick? why are we as chronically ill aid disabled having to beg to be taken seriously when abled people can go and get help and they actually give a fuck? we are literally on the lowest tier possible. I genuinely don’t know why we have to even prove that we are sick. we are told to basically get over it, accept it, and live life with all these terrifying fucking symptoms as if it’s normal.
