‧₊ TWO MOCKINGBIRDS (AND A PARROT IN A PINE TREE)
PAIRING: C!Ethoslab x GN!Reader
SYNOPSIS: (Office AU) Under normal circumstances, you would have never gone to the holiday party your coworkers threw every year. However, getting dragged by your best friends was far from normal circumstances. Oh well, at least you can make fun of their shenanigans with your long-time work crush.
WARNINGS: Alcohol, people get drunk and act like idiots, Reader’s sass (because it deserves to be mentioned)
A/N: I had a lot of fun making this- Etho and Reader’s dynamic is honestly one of my most favorite things I’ve written so far.
Deciding to apply to Hermit Inc. was one of the best decisions you had ever made. Not only were you able to do your dream job, but by some divine intervention, all of your coworkers had turned out to be literal angels. With them around, days that would have dragged on without an end in any other situation passed in a blink of an eye.
However, sometimes you found yourself regretting it when you had to put up with their shenanigans.
“Come onnnnn,” Grian whined, flopping against the wall that separated your cubicles until his body was half-hanging over the divide. “It’ll be fun!”
You sighed, taking your eyes off of your computer screen only for a split second to shoot the blonde a deadpan look. “As much as I would like to go, I honestly don’t have time. I have to get these reports through by midnight, Gri.”
You heard, more than saw, one of your other coworkers lean against the wall behind your chair. With a sigh, you pushed away from your desk and spun around in your seat to meet them, a skeptical eyebrow raised towards the new arrival.
“Just as Xisuma to push back the deadline or something,” Iskall said, taking a sip from the coffee mug he was holding in one hand. You had gotten it for him after he brought his bonsai tree to work, the words ‘World’s #1 Tree Dad” emblazoned across the white ceramic.
You sighed, scrubbing a hand across your face. “I shouldn’t. He’s just as busy as we should be-” you affixed both of them with a pointed look “-and I don’t want to add more to his plate.”
Grian huffed, puffing his cheeks out childishly, and before you could move to stop him, was leaning back to shout over to where you could see your boss sitting in his office. “Hey X! Your favorite employee here-” he gestured violently towards you, almost slipping off his perch on the wall “- says they can’t make it to the party because they have too much work. Which is dumb. Make them not have too much work.”
Yes, the party. The thing that prompted this whole conversation.
Every winter, the higher-ups at Hermit Inc. hosted a company-funded holiday party before Christmas break. The departments who met the annual quota for productivity were invited to come, and this year, that included the creative department- where you worked.
If you attended, it would be your very first company event as ‘the newbie’. To be completely honest, the prospect was both exciting and absolutely terrifying. After all, it would also be the first time you would potentially meet one of the big bosses- the people further up in the chain than even Xisuma, who was in charge of everyone you worked with. Like, how would you even interact with them? What were you supposed to talk about?
...You may or may not have been making up excuses to just stay home. (You can’t get into awkward situations if you avoid them entirely!)
From where you were sitting, you could see Xisuma lean back to peer through the door, glancing between you and the self-satisfied expression on Grian’s face.
“I don’t see why not. I was going to go back through those after you were finished, so it doesn’t really matter if they’re completely finished or not.” Xisuma said calmly, giving a half-hearted shrug at the betrayal on your face. “It’d be good for you to get out of work mode for a while, anyway. Being around these idiots kinda weighs on your sanity.”
You crossed your arms over your chest, trying not to pout like a petulant child while Grian broke out into cheers, cupping his hands around his mouth and jumping up and down like his favorite sports team won the big game. Iskall wheezed, setting his mug on the desk so its contents didn’t slosh everywhere from the force of his giggles. “YES! Our favorite administrator X- wait. Did you call us idiots?”
Xisuma eloquently closed the door to his office, blocking out Grian’s faux-enraged spluttering as the words registered. You sighed, putting your head in your hands as Iskall collapsed on one of the walls, choking on the force of his laughter.
God, this was going to be an absolute shit-show, wasn’t it?
“This is a terrible idea,” you muttered for what seemed like the millionth time as you pulled up to the venue, hands clutching the padded wheel of your car so hard your knuckles went white. When your coworkers had basically strong-arming you into going to the party, you had found yourself volunteering to carpool. Knowing your friends, it would take several miracles interspersed with acts of God for them to drive to the venue and get everyone there in one piece.
In the backseat, Cleo, a fiery redhead that you had befriended during your time in the office, groaned. “It’ll be fine. We’ve gone to this thing how many times now? Two? Three?”
“Five,” Joe, another officemate and Cleo’s best friend, offered from where he was sitting in the passenger side next to you, eyes glued to his phone as his fingers flew across the screen- probably texting the rest of the group that you had arrived.
“Five,” Cleo conceded, nodding in agreement, “And it’s been one of the best nights of our lives. Besides,” her eyes took on a mischievous gleam, and you felt a sense of impending doom settle over your soul. “I heard Etho is going to be there too.”
You couldn’t hide the way you visibly flustered at that, refusing to make eye contact with the woman while she smirked. It was no secret among the creative department that you had taken a liking to the handsome contractor the company had hired on to assist in your latest project. Your team had zeroed in on the stuttering nervousness you only seemed to gain around the man like sharks to bloodied water. You had finally admitted that you may have liked the man after an intensive interrogation on the subject, and you really wish you hadn’t- they took advantage of their knowledge to tease you about it constantly.
“Oh, shut up,” you grumbled irritably, cheeks still heated, and dug the keys out of the ignition as the other occupants of the car opened their doors with serene calm.
The company had rented out one of the fanciest hotels in the city, a high-rise that towered over everything in the immediate vicinity. As you approached, you couldn’t help but notice just how palatial the architecture was- the brick at the base of the building giving way to Greco-Roman pillars that divided the walls into parts, climbing almost halfway up the structure. Expansive windows lined the open space, light from the spotlights beneath them scattering across the glass in hues of orange and gold.
Although you had dressed up far more than usual, you still felt out of place as you met up with the rest of the department at the doors, plastering on a smile when Mumbo asked you if you were ready to head inside. Better to rip the Band-Aid off, right?
If the façade of the building was opulent, the inside was somehow even more breathtaking. The ceilings soared high above the crowd of people milling on the polished tile floor, you having to crane your head back to see them at all. The décor looked like something straight out of a Hallmark movie, or maybe one of those Christmas home decoration magazines.
Pine trees lined the floor of the lobby, branches groaning under the weight of all the tinsel and ornaments piled on them. Boughs of holly and spruce needles decorated the walls, strung with red and gold ribbon. They had strung mistletoe under seemingly every doorway, and you grimaced as you spotted a young couple making out under one. (As cute as the concept was, it would be better if they didn’t do that in full view of literally everyone at work)
The lobby had been converted into a strange hybrid of a lounge and a dance floor, and you blanched at the sheer amount of alcohol that they had stocked behind the bar. How much were they expecting everyone to drink?
As soon as you stepped foot on the main floor, your colleagues were making a bee-line for where everyone was getting served their liquid courage. Cleo stuck by you as you stood awkwardly to the side of the action, too shy to join those who were chatting, but also too sane to start drinking this early.
Cleo stayed with you for quite an impressive amount of time before the party started to pick up(a whole thirty minutes!), abandoning you as more and more people were drawn to the bar. You weren’t surprised- she had always been more of an extrovert than you. However, what did surprise you was how she immediately downed five shots of tequila like it was nothing.
Huh, so that’s why they needed so much liquor.
Leaning against a wall, you geared yourself up for a long night of looking after the children- children being your coworkers who were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw their limbs off. Wait- was Doc chugging straight Vodka from that bottle?
Before you had any more time to be concerned about that very distressing observation, your thoughts were interrupted by someone slumping next to you, leaning back against the cool plaster with a groan.
“Looks like you’re on babysitting duty, huh?”
You jolted at the voice, flushing first in embarrassment, then something else as you recognized just who had spoken. It was hard to discern Etho’s expression with the shadows cast on his face, one red eye staring down at you with something like amusement as you scrambled for words.
“Unfortunately,” you said after an awkward pause, your mind struggling to wrap around the fact that Etho was talking to you, praying that your flustered state wasn’t obvious. “Um, I didn’t expect you to be here.”
He shrugged. “One of the management asked me to come, and I thought ‘why not?’, and boom! I’m here now.”
You made a sweeping gesture with your hand towards the crowd of partying office workers, the majority of them hammered beyond belief, as if to say ‘this is what you get for that’. “I hope you’ve been enjoying tonight’s entertainment.”
He laughed, the sound not unkind, and scooted along the wall until he could settle next to you, shoulder almost brushing your own. With the new position he had taken, the soft light from the party was finally allowed to brush across his features, and your breath hitched as you finally got a chance to look at him.
Etho was one of the most attractive men you had ever met, hands down. You had known this before, of course, having met with him on multiple occasions- but this felt different. Something about the ambiance of the party, the background sounds of glass clinking and jazz music coming through the PA system, painted him as though he had stepped straight out of a dream.
His white hair was messy, mussed as if he had run his hands through it in frustration, and hung over his eyes when he tilted his face to peer down at you. His eyes, one ruby red, and the other slate grey glittered in the low glow of the room, threatening to swallow you whole if you stared into them for too long. He was still wearing his usual black face mask and work clothes, but he had rolled up the sleeves of his grey dress shirt and popped open the collar for a more casual look.
You tore your eyes away from his bare arms, trying desperately not to seem like you were ogling the way his wiry muscles bulged as he crossed them over his chest. Sighing, you swirled the glass of champagne that Stress had shoved in your hands earlier, idly watching as the bubbles spun in the mini-whirlpool you had created.
“I’d be surprised if they haven’t blacked out completely yet,” Etho said, jerking his chin towards where Cleo and Doc were singing German drinking songs. They were horribly off-key, but their enthusiasm made up for their lack of vocal coordination.
“Yeah,” you chuckled softly, grinning at your boss as you spotted him clinging to Impulse’s shoulder from across the room. “You wouldn’t expect it from him, but Xisuma can’t even handle a White Claw before he starts getting all sappy on us. He’s probably one of, if not the most, lightweight part of the team.”
Etho raised an eyebrow, a smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. “Oh? So what you’re telling me is that Xisuma, the administrator that is famously the only person able to wrangle you creatives, holds his liquor worse than Grian?”
You snorted before you could stop yourself, bringing a hand up to your mouth and widening your eyes dramatically to shoot a faux-shocked look towards the masked man. “You’re telling me that you doubt that gremlin’s abilities? He carried Mumbo around like a princess one day because Iskall made a bet with him.”
Etho visibly perked up at that, leaning forwards with a curious gleam in his eyes. “Do tell.”
You smirked. If they were going to drag you to this, then you were not going to let a chance to get some payback slip by.
As you launched into the many, many stories you had collected over time about your coworker’s most embarrassing moments, you failed to notice the way that the white-haired man’s features softened as he listened to your rambling, the way his body leaned towards yours like a flower towards sunlight. Little did you know that he saw the same dreamlike beauty in your manner that you saw in his, unable to be anything but hypnotized by your smile and laugh as you recounted a particularly unfortunate encounter between Ren and a particularly stubborn Tupperware container.
How had you somehow become even more stunning than you already were?
The moment was only broken when, during a momentary break in your spiel, you glanced over to see Grian climbing one of the many Christmas trees that were set up around the floor. You gasped and, without any further explanation, took off running through the crowd to stop him. As much as the hotel staff could tolerate, you didn’t think having an intoxicated gremlin ruin their careful decoration was one of the things that would fly.
Etho, utterly bewildered, only took a second to follow your line of sight before he too was off like a shot. Ducking and weaving through the crowd, you skidded to a halt in front of the tree where the blonde had already climbed about halfway up. A group consisting of Cleo, Doc, and Iskall cheered him on from around the base, faces flushed with alcohol more than enough evidence to figure out what might have led to this.
“Grian!” you called frantically, cupping your hands around your mouth. The man paused in his ascent to stare down at you, a manic grin spread across his cheeks.
“Heyyyy! We were wondering where you were!” he called, haphazardly waving down to you. He must’ve been at least a foot up in the air, the tree swaying with every little movement he made. It was a miracle he hadn’t fallen off yet, joining the same fate as the many ornaments that he had knocked onto the ground. (Plastic, thankfully. You weren’t sure how you would have dealt with them if they were something more breakable like glass)
The blonde’s eyes shifted to where Etho was standing behind you, demeanor as anxious as it seemed to get, and suddenly his cheery smile turned into something more teasing. You blanched, knowing that that expression couldn’t mean anything good.
“Oooh,” Grian sing-songed, eyebrows rising dramatically as the group below burst into giggles. “Is that Etho? The guy?”
You cursed under your breath, pointedly ignoring the confused look that Etho shot you out of the corner of your eye. “C’mon Gri, you don’t want to be up there right now.”
Your words flew over Grian’s head completely, your friend fixating on seeing you and your workplace crush standing together.
“Do you know they have a crush on you?” he asked bluntly, achieving the impressive endeavor of spitting on all rules of social etiquette in one sentence. You made a sound like a dying animal, feeling your face burn red-hot as you buried it in your hands. The night was going fine- great, even! Better than you thought it would! But no, the universe couldn’t let you be happy for one single second.
You were going to flay Grian alive when all this was said and done.
Etho didn’t respond, startled into silence at the sudden revelation, and Grian decided that this was the opportune time for him to lose his grip and finally fall off. Everything seemed to slow down- the sound of the other attendee’s chatter, your colleague’s body tumbling through the air, your sharp intake of breath as you registered what had just happened. Frozen, you could only watch as Grian tumbled down, down, down-
Only to be caught in Etho’s awaiting arms.
You sighed, pure relief coursing through your veins as the masked man gently lowered Grian down to the floor, steadying him with a hand as his balance wobbled.
“I don’t know how I’m still friends with you,” you grumbled as he moved to lean against you, cheek smushed against your shoulder.
“We’re friends?” Grian said, voice filled with awe. You sighed, equal parts exasperated and fond, and gave the blonde a gentle push towards where the rest of the group was congregating again.
“Of course, idiot. Now go bother Mumbo or something.”
You watched with an amused expression as he stumbled over to flop on Mumbo, giggling drunkenly at the tall man’s protests. Feeling Etho sidle up on your left, you turned to find his eyes already gazing down at you.
“Nice catch,” you teased, propping your hands upon your hips with a jaunty grin.
“Thanks,” Etho said wryly. He paused for a moment, before continuing in a tone much less amused than before. “Although, I’m still a little confused about that thing Grian said- you have a crush on me?”
Oh shit, that.
“Uhm-” you laughed awkwardly, feeling all your anxiety come rushing back full-force. As much as you wanted to sink into the floor, there was no way you could avoid this, and why was he looking at you like that-
You inhaled sharply. “Yeah, I do, actually. You don’t- you don’t have to feel the same way though, I just- uh, yeah. Don’t wanna lie, y’know?”
You bit your lip nervously as Etho stared down at you, the statement obviously processing. Every second of silence that passed had your nerves skyrocketing, and you had to resist the mounting urge to just make a run for the exit. Finally, the white-haired man coughed, turning his face to the side to avoid looking at you. From where you were standing, though, you could see the tips of his ears flushed bright red.
Huh.
“Anyways, I’m just gonna go-” you started, but were cut short when Etho’s hand flashed out to grab your arm.
“Wait! If- if what you’re saying is true, then would you want to go out sometime? Like for coffee?”
...What?
You felt a brilliant grin tug at the corners of your mouth as you stared wide-eyed up at him, biting down on your tongue to prevent yourself from squealing like a schoolgirl. “That would be nice, actually.”
“Cool,” he breathed, seeming almost dazed as his grip loosened and allowed you to slip away.
“Cool,” you parroted, taking a step back. “I should probably go and make sure that Grian doesn’t try to cause any more chaos. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Etho nodded, the warm sensation of giddiness rising in his chest.
I guess this turned out better than I would’ve ever thought.
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