Mori!

Local cryptid writes self-indulgent nonsense (on the rare occasion life doesn't get in the way) 18+ | Any/all

[circlusion]

The world has irrevocably changed 😃

[whatthefuckjeeves]

The person who told the cops about her abortion was her boyfriend btw. For your safety, do not sleep with or date men who would not defend your rights. There is no "we don't talk politics" or "we just agree to disagree" when his disagreement is your loss of freedom. Stop dating men who would turn you in for a nickel if you hurt their feelings.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

When she showed up at the police station, they thought she was coming to "explain herself." She was coming to report the boyfriend who'd reported her held a gun to her head for taking the pills.

Fuck Flock cameras. Fuck police who do this shit. Fuck the survelliance state.

[sovietnam]

[fantasmadelaciudad]

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

[fantasmadelaciudad]

like this shouldnt be possible.

[sillyspekter]

Every part of Vegas feels like it's pulled out of fiction and is Incredibly off-putting. It's a major city in the middle of one of the world's most inhospitable deserts

Its famous for recreating other world landmarks on a small scale. It uses this as a trap to bait people into making life ruining decisions. It's motto is essentially "never speak of what happened here". Fucked up

[rumwik]

Strange haunted photo where Winifred looks like she's a painting

[needs-more-hugs]

I have placed her in a more fitting setting

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

For the first time in my tenure on tumblr, it's "THAT'S A PHOTOGRAPH?" and not "THAT'S AN OIL PAINTING?"

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[shofarsogood]

[ekjohnston]

The Cake Wrecks blog is one that I miss.

[enki2]

[hereticpraetor]

i havent seen the strong as fuck ice mummy in a while. i hope shes doing ok

[sourcreammachine]

spring thaw. weak as fuck water mummy now

[fedoraspooky]

It's that time again

[desinteresse]

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

[little-trash-ghost]

Can't leave this in the tags..

[parkchanwoohoo]

I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account

It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"

[maniatown]

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

[tallahasseemp3]

please read this story of a man accidentally discovering his wife is the world's best Tetris player

[lichfucker]

[image description: an excerpt of text that says:

“It’s funny,” I told Flewin. “We have an old Nintendo Game Boy floating around the house, and Tetris is the only game we own. My wife will sometimes dig it out to play on airplanes and long car rides. She’s weirdly good at it. She can get 500 or 600 lines, no problem.”

What Flewin said next I will never forget.

“Oh, my!”

/end id]

[justahumblememefarmer]

TL;DR on the article

The husband was writing an article on classic video game records, was surprised to find out that holding the Tetris record is a bit of a big deal, and mentions how good his wife is at it.

The guy he’s talking to mentions that the record is 327, way lower than his wifes usual scores of 500-600.

They travel to a tournament, and she goes to do her attempt. Just after she beats 327, and is climbing higher, a judge brings up to the husband that the specific version she’s playing actually has a different record of 545.

She overhears that she needs to beat 500-something, and keeps going, setting the record at 841.

[weirdoughnut]

which, they later find out, is her second-best record

[mel-155-a]

There was a decent but ultimately forgettable fantasy novel I read a long time ago that had a single moment that stuck with me.

The protagonist has just won the world famous sword fighting competition in the big, rich capital and is talking to his mentor, and says something about being the best swordsman in the world. The mentor frowns and tells him that no, he isn't. He is the best swordsman out of the people that could afford to show up to this tournament. There could be a mercenary way out in the mountains, patrolling a snow encrusted fort's walls that could kick his ass and there was no way to know until he was already losing to the guy.

I think about that a lot, and how for every apparently dominant competitor, there might be a fucking ronin out there somewhere capable of destroying them.

[headspace-hotel]

Always reblog tetris ronin lady

[omnybus]

[intj-greenwords]

Also true about singers and storytellers and philosophers and theologians. You only hear about the ones that are out there.

[json-derulo]

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

[dreadwedge]

As a transsexual woman 👩 who has had multiple experiences ‼️ I have found 🔎 that the biggest block of cheese 🧀 is usually the one ☝️ that has the largest size 📈

[dreadwedge]

mature content

[footlongdingledong]

rarely do i repost things and especially from shittr but this video is shutting down core partsof my mental processing i think

[sparrowsabre7]

"It may not be high art but everyone's having too much fun to care" Cinematic Universe

The Mummy (1999) and The Mummy Returns

Men in Black

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Kingsman: The Secret Service and Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Pacific Rim

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Feel free to add your own. Please note this is not just "any" fun blockbuster, it's a certain subset where it's a bit of a romp, everyone in the cast is having fun and it's just a joy to watch.

[mygeekcorner]

Mamma Mia. Obviously.

[ladyananas]

ok but. i need you to know that the mummy, men in black and pacific rim in particular are regarded as technical masterpieces when it comes to director skill & cinematography?

the intro shot of rick o'connell in the mummy is one of the best and most efficient camera work in an action movie. the way pacific rim utilizes space when showing the kaijus is literally taught in art school. they're not just blockbusters they're also iconic movies on a technical point of view!

sometimes things feel good because they are genuinely really good!

[egberts]

saw this on Facebook and thought "wow that's pretty helpful I'm going to share it on tumblr, i'll just crop off the thing about the tick that got left out" but then I read the comments and decided I had to share those too because same

[collgeruledzebra]

yellow poplar weevil (not a tick) :)

[hugh-lauries-bald-spot]

whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight

[asteroidtroglodyte]

The grip that Burger & Big Drink has on the American People cannot be overstated