#c. jean

[breakingdeeper]

I keep pushing down thoughts

Like balloons in a swimming pool.

You could keep one below water pretty easy,

Sitting on it and chatting with your friends

Like it’s not there.

But it is.

You could hold two below the surface.

It would be tricky, but sort of silly,

Taking a little more attention.

As the number rises, you find

That you can think of nothing else

But repressing,

And all your mental energy

All your attention

All you have

Is spent on keeping all those thoughts

Below the surface.

Someone paint me a picture.

I’m floating on my back,

And I’m letting all my balloons rise around me,

And they are floating away.

And I welcome back clarity and peace,

A breeze, which blows my thoughts away.

[breakingdeeper]

How do we live

With the intensity of longing?

Faith that the fervor

Will soon subside.

Surrender to the romance

Of deep desire.

That we can write a poem

To express the passion

Brings catharsis

In the midst of cathexis.

c. jean

[breakingdeeper]

[breakingdeeper]

And suddenly

All those songs

Were about you

[breakingdeeper]

So it’s Friday.

And the last two weeks have been filled with unavoidable, exhausting anxiety.

It hurts to hurt, and hurt people... they aren’t very nice.

So it’s Friday.

And I want this weekend on my couch to last ten years.

Because I am an open wound

and it seems everyone has this habit

of throwing salt around.

[breakingdeeper]

You are not stuck here. You can move. You can change what you do.