dockside diplomacy—favorite quotes, no context
(algar) don't trust him! (marisha) i punch him. (travis) that's right you do!
(jester) where was the palace, is it in the ocean? (fjord) i'm pretty sure— (jester) was it in the ocean? (nott) it's probably not on land, yeah.
(nott) okay, so we got two kills, four maybes.
(jester) worst case scenario, we kill him. (nott) maybe best case scenario, yes.
(jester) i will disguise myself as a tortle, but not the that guy we met, like a tortle that's a girl.
(jester) you could do a prayer of healing. (caduceus) that was what i've been doing, a prayer of healing. (jester) oh really? we could both do prayers of healing. (taliesin) alright, so i'm doing everybody except nott, and i'm adding algar to this. (laura) i'm going to say i'm doing it, too, but i'm not really going to.
(liam) i send frumpkin, who's holding his breath schlooping up on top of his chest. (caleb) he's hungry, and so am i.
(sam) i'm gonna start backing up, just kinda shaking my head. (nott) you people are fucked up!
(taliesin) that's what they get for over-investing in genie-based power systems.
(liam) i take a good long look at it. (laura) i draw a dick on it. (caleb) great, now i have to remember that as well.
(caleb) are you right-handed or left-handed? (beau) well, now he's right-handed.
(jester) fjord swallowed a ball, and it's inside of him now, and he doesn't know what is going on, so— (fjord) we're gonna tell the truth about that?
(liam) caleb summons frumpkin the octopus and i just rub his head like a bond villain, staring at beau. (matt) it kinda squeaks like a balloon.
(nott) you got rid of a dog, that's great!
(matt) go ahead and make a—how do i want to do this? (sam) that's your autobiography title!
(laura) do you get ki points on short rests? (matt) she does, yes. (laura) that's awesome. (sam) monks are cool. (laura) so cool. (sam) clarics suck. (laura) clerics suck the most. i don't get shit on a short rest. (sam) you make people tell the truth and you have a big lollipop.
(matt) alright, starting at the top. 25 to 20? (travis) i rolled a natural 20. (matt) nice! (travis) yasha rolled a two. (sam) classic ashley.
(sam) isn't summer's eve a douche?
(yasha/travis) you okay? (beau/marisha) yeah. wow, yasha. man.
(marisha) do i get advantage because he's incapacitated? (matt) no, it doesn't matter. you can grab him. i just wanted to see you roll.
(matt) you're getting the boat in this, too? alright. let's go ahead and do it. (sam) to get the people, yeah, you've got to get the boat. (liam) yeah, absolutely. what am i, a surgeon?
(travis) let them go. what the fuck are we going to do? run and jump on the goddamn boat? (sam) yeah, of course! (marisha) i was about to do that, yeah. (sam) yeah, of course we are.
(sam) remember how, jester, you couldn't come back to this town? well now we all can't.
(sam) we're doing great, guys! we've killed everybody, we're charming people, we're on a boat.
(laura) honestly, i think we did a pretty good job...after everything. (matt) you turned it around a little bit. (laura) we got a ship!
(travis) it wasn't my intention: the name of this episode.
(sam) okay. what looks to be a pouch of chewing tobacco. okay, got it. could be spice.
(sam) well i'm glad we killed a half dozen people to know what we already knew.
