#caitlinmha

[mental-health-advice]

Guys!! I beat my fear of planes! I found out that using earplugs manages to block out enough sound and relax me. I'm truly proud of myself and my family is so happy because I'm willing to travel more! 💙💙💙 my advice to other people with this fear is to try to find their own techniques to be more relaxed 💙

Hi lovely, 

I’m so proud of you for beating your fear of planes! I know people close to me suffer from this fear and really can be crippling and debilitating, plus it’s so hard to overcome, so I’m really truly SO proud of you for facing this fear. Thank you for letting us know that you’ve overcome this and allowing us to show followers that things do get better, they can overcome this. Thank you for the advice to others with a fear of planes/flying too lovely, I’m sure that will really help them as it’s coming from somebody who’s been there! 

I will have your achievement added to our accomplishments page, this really is fantastic!

All the best,Caitlin x

[mental-health-advice]

Hello, how do I tell my boss I have been attempting suicide?

Hey there lovely,

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so low. The first thing you need to know is that you are absolutely under no obligation to tell your boss about your mental illness, let alone your suicide attempts. If you need sick leave, all you are obliged to say is that you need time off for your mental health, and if a doctor’s note is required, ask them to sign you off. So please only tell your boss if you’re comfortable! 

In terms of telling your boss, my tips would be: 

Write down exactly what you want to say. You could even just write them a letter and hand it to them. 

Schedule a meeting with them and say that you specifically need to talk about something personal, in private. It may help to tell them that it’s your mental health you want to speak about. 

If you are a member of a union, it may help to have your representative with you. You’re also entitled to have somebody else there with you for comfort and reassurance. This could be a colleague, even somebody from the HR department.

Know your rights. Know that you don’t have to tell them anything, and they cannot discriminate against you for this, that is illegal. You cannot lose your job for this or be demoted. You can only lose pay once you’ve received all your statutory sick leave. 

You may be asked to get a second opinion from a therapist employed by the company. Your boss is allowed to do this. Your boss is not entitled to be present at the appointment or force a time, etc. This is on your terms as long as you fulfill the requirements, ie actually attend an appointment. The therapist is not allowed to share anything confidential.

Depending on what country you’re in and the kind of company you work for, they may be able to offer you treatment through the company. You do not have to accept it (but it may be an idea as this treatment is usually high quality!). Again, the person treating you is not allowed to share any confidential information about you.

Disclaimer: any legal advice given is my own general knowledge, I am not a professional and this may differ in your own country. Please always check with a professional.

In terms of feeling so low, here’s a little bit of advice about how to cope with feeling suicidal: 

Remember there are always reasons to stay. This life is worth living. 

Reach out. There’s love in your life in the most unexpected places. 

Get professional help, if you can. It really is worth it and I would never encourage facing mental illness alone.

You are valued. You are worth it. You have so much potential, you are talented and I promise you, you are going to find success and fulfillment in life. You will learn to love yourself someday, and you’ll realise how loved you are.

It’s going to be okay, lovely.

Caitlin x

[mental-health-advice]

Can I just have a random encouraging statement like.. right now?

Hi lovely, 

Of course you can! 

Whatever it is you’re going through just now, I have every faith that you’re going to get through this. I believe in you. You are loved and valued, your struggles are valid. You are worth more than you realise,  Everything is going to be okay, I just know it.

“It is only in our darkest hours that we may discover the true strength of the brilliant light within ourselves that can never, ever, be dimmed.” – Doe Zantamata   

Caitlin x

[mental-health-advice]

do you guys know if the quiet place project still works? I've been trying to access the site for a while now but it doesn't load

Hey lovely! 

I use thequietplace quite regularly, especially in exam season, and it does still work for me! It doesn’t usually load on my phone though, I have to use my laptop. You also have to have certain software to be able to use it, I think it’s Adobe Flash Player but I’m not entirely sure! 

Here is a link to thequietplaceproject which worked for me, I hope it works for you too because it really is a wonderful project!

Caitlin x

[mental-health-advice]

How can i tell if i am just triggered by something or if im just scared of it???

Hi lovely,

So in short, you know you’re triggered if the stimulus (so the thing that happened) causes disordered thoughts or behaviours, causes/worsens symptoms of your mental illness or causes you to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Being scared is a horrible feeling, but being scared of something will not necessarily cause symptoms of your mental illness, disordered thoughts or disordered behaviours, or make you feel as though you need to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. However beyond this, this is rather a grey area because each individual is different, has different disordered thoughts, behaviours and coping mechanisms, and what is normal for one person may be a symptom of a disorder for another. Similarly, almost anything can be a trigger depending on what you’ve been through, and identifying triggers is a really challenging part of having a mental illness. I would not advise trying to do this without the support of a professional, because this often involves exposure which can be really tough and can be dangerous if not done correctly. 

I really hope this helpsCaitlin x

[mental-health-advice]

I need some help, sometimes when I look in the mirror I don't see myself like I know it's me I see but I feel like I don't recognise the face or sometimes I feel like I'm just watching a movie and none of this is real it scares me because when I don't feel like myself I act out and scream at people I tend to have a lot of panic attacks and I really want to talk to someone but I'm so terrified of people and counselling that I just stay in my room because I'm afraid people Will betray me.

Hey there lovely!

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling so low and struggling so much. It’s so awful when you lose faith in the world around you, because you wind up feeling so isolated and alone. But I promise you’re not alone, you’re never going to have to face this alone, you will always have us here at MHA. Please remember though, we are not professionals and therefore cannot diagnose you. 

You mention not recognising yourself in the mirror - this sounds rather like something called dissociation, specifically depersonalisation, which is a phenomenon that causes the sufferer to feel disconnected from themselves, leading to experiences similiar to the things you’re going through. Here is a link to a great information page on dissociation and dissociative disorders. If you do believe you’re suffering from this, I would strongly advise you to seek help from a mental health professional as this can become debilitating and is obviously very scary for you, therefore it makes sense to get treatment. Looking after your mental health is very important, after all. 

People can be really scary, especially with all the awful things we hear and sometimes the experiences we have with people who hurt us. But please remember that mental health professionals, and any medical professional, genuinely do want what’s best for us and understand what you’re going through. It is illegal for them to ‘betray you’ as they are bound by a series of rules relating to safeguarding and confidentiality. They have a duty of care over you: they legally cannot and will not do anything that may harm you, and have to act in your best interests at all times. They also cannot share any information that you don’t want them to, especially if you’re legally an adult in your country. This paranoia that people will betray you is super scary, and as I’m sure you’re aware, totally irrational. Is there anybody you trust, a friend or family member, who could come with you to an appointment so that you don’t have to travel alone, as then they can keep you safe? I think it’s really important that at this stage, we seek professional advice before this disorder becomes any more debilitating for you. You are completely valid and you deserve to get better. 

I really hope this helps,Caitlin x

[mental-health-advice]

Hi. I think I identify with the label 'Heteroromantic Bisexual' but a lot of people are saying it has to do with internalized biphobia which makes me not want to use that label. what do you guys think?

Hi lovely! 

I personally don’t think this has anything to do with internalised biphobia. Heteroromantic bisexual is a perfectly valid way to identify, as are all sexual and romantic identities. You may label yourself however you choose. That label may change, whether that’s because you identify differently or find something you identify more closely to, for whatever reason. You may choose not to label yourself at all. This is entirely down to you and what you feel comfortable with.At the end of the day, you know yourself best. Other people do not get to pick your label for you, only you do that and it is not up to them to tell you that you have internalised biphobia and that’s why you identify with that label. Coming to terms with your sexuality and understanding yourself is a massive thing and nobody gets to dictate to you how you do it, nor which label you use. Here is a link to our advice page about choosing how to identify yourself along with some advice when you experience stigma. The one piece of advice I would give you is, stay true to yourself and don’t let anybody else tell you who you are. Your labels, your choice. 

We’re here for you, lovely!Caitlin x

[mental-health-advice]

In response to that submission about drugs and alcohol: You're not alone. I can relate so much!! It makes me deeply uncomfortable to be around people that are drunk. I like to be aware of my surroundings at all times and so the idea of getting drunk or high scares me. I have no problem with people safely drinking alcohol and doing drugs, but I just personally have no interest in it whatsoever. I'm glad to know there's people out there who feel the same way.

Hi lovely! 

I’m really sorry to hear that you go through so much. Thank you for taking the time to write this message. The thing that makes this blog so wonderful is our sense of community and we wouldn’t have that without our lovely followers, who empathize with each other and care about each other. It’s so wonderful to see you using your own experience to make somebody feel less alone, that’s what this blog is all about. 

All the best,Caitlin x