#calming panic

[mental-health-advice]

What are the chances of someone with anxiety to actually fully recover? I miss my normal self so much, I miss not having to worry about every damn thing I do. I’ve looked for professional help, I’m doing therapy, I’m trying to calm myself but this “fear” of doing things wrong keeps on bothering me (tag as Lee)

Hi, Lee! Thank you so much for sending this in. I understand that you may have some doubt, and I hope I can show you some resources and share some ideas to help you.

It really does sound like you are on a good path and you are doing so well to be at this stage. However, I completely understand the doubt or worries you are having. It is normal to feel this way and want it to just be over with a click of the fingers. I often feel as if the journey is taking too long for me which is incredibly frustrating. I wonder if I will ever get through it or leave it behind, but I must remind myself that it is okay to have these doubts. I must embrace them and move forward and turn them into something positive.

It is great that you have looked for professional help and are seeing a therapist. I hope that you find it useful in some ways. Therapy is sometimes enough for someone or not enough and that is okay. Everyone works differently and copes with their emotions differently. Do you feel you could do a little research into anxiety if you haven’t already? We have a great page explaining all about anxiety which could be of use to you. Understanding how we feel can be very helpful when trying to recover and overcome our fears.

MHA Anxiety

I understand your therapist may have given you some techniques to practice when feeling anxious or if you experience an anxiety or panic attack. We also have a few pages which I encourage you to look at as they may open up some new ideas for you. We have a page on tips to calm anxiety and panic, a page with grounding techniques on and a page on mindfulness.

MHA Calming Anxiety and Panic

MHA Grounding Techniques

MHA Mindfulness

The mindfulness page leads on to my next point. Although you speak with a therapist you can also express how you feel through writing it down in a diary or through a piece of writing. Do you feel you could try this as well as therapy? You could also dedicate a specific time each day to sit down and write down your worries for the day. This way you can try and aim to keep your worries to this specific time or, when you feel anxious, remind yourself that you can focus on root the feeling later and write down how it made you feel. In the moment, focus on getting through the feeling in a safe and healthy way.

I also encourage you to spend time with friends and family. Spend time on yourself doing your favourite hobby. Make sure you are able to dedicate some time to enjoy yourself knowing that your worries are in a book or on a piece of paper at home. Do you feel you could speak to a friend or family about how you are doing? This way they could offer extra support during this time and help you throughout your journey.

I really believe you are doing a great job. It is okay to struggle or have a moment where you question yourself. It does not mean you have failed or going to fail. We have to know that setbacks are not us, but the rise we have after those setbacks with our bravery.

It will take time but I know you can get there. You are worth that life you speak about when you do not have to worry or feel anxious and you can get there.

The last thing I will leave you with is our page on ‘I Won’t Give Up’ messages. I hope you can be inspired by what others have written and come up with your own reason. You can do this.

MHA I Won’t Give Up

Riley

[mental-health-advice]

I'm starting my first job on Thursday (training on Tuesday) and I'm super nervous! I'm really shy and awkward and suck and socializing with people. I have no idea how I'm going to handle this. I'm scared of having a panic or anxiety attack at work. I suppose it'll get easier as time goes by but right now I'm just scared of messing up. I haven't been doing so well mentally lately and this is just stressing me out so much. But I need the money. :(

Hello! Thank you for sending this in, and congratulations on the new job role.

Starting a new job can make us feel all sorts of emotions. Feeling nervous or anxious is totally okay, and I hope I can give you some tips and advice on how to cope while at work.

It is always best to try and have a relaxing day before your first day. A good night’s sleep, a clear mind and ready to learn. One way to ease the worry can be to write down all of your concerns the night before. Dedicate 30 minutes or an hour to this, and let all of your worries out on this list. Once you feel you have written it all down, put it away (perhaps even in another room) and focus on the rest of your day or getting ready to sleep. You can look back at these worries after the first day or week, and see what worried you and how they went.

Asking questions is okay. In any situation, there is no silly question. If you want to ask a question, it means you would like clarity in some kind of way and that is okay. Your colleagues will understand that you will have questions, and I’m sure they will be more than happy to answer them - especially during training. Asking questions shows you are willing to learn and is generally a positive way to learn and build relationships with your colleagues. They may be able to share stories on how to remember something or share mistakes and solutions which they encountered. Asking questions is a great thing to do, and it is okay to ask them.

If you are unsure, you can ask. Even if they have told you already, it’s okay to ask again. It can act as a conversation starter and open up more starters for the future without thinking into it.

When I started university, they constantly reminded us that it is okay to make mistakes. As humans, we learn from our mistakes. We remember situations and how we may or may not have handled them correctly. We remember this for the future and are able to improve our knowledge. If you make a mistake, it is okay. It does not mean you cannot do something or did it wrong. It means you will remember next time, and you are learning. Everyone makes mistakes, whether they are new to the job or have been working there for 15 years. It is okay to make mistakes.

If you doubt yourself before or during your work hours, remember that you were chosen for a reason. They saw the potential and a good worker. They believe in you, and understand that you will be learning. Remind yourself that you are new, and you can do this. If you need to, you could set reminders on your phone to tell you this or write it on a piece of paper in your pocket.

Our MHA blog has a page on calming ourselves during anxious moments or panic attacks. I encourage you to check this out (I will link you below) and perhaps work some of these into your day. Whether you need to use them or not, I think it is a beneficial thing to have. There are some really easy techniques which you can definitely use at work, and help to keep yourself from feeling horrible about work. Work is a great thing, it is just believing in ourselves and our choices at work which we often struggle with. That is okay, and we can learn ourselves how to cope and improve our mental health.

Calming Anxiety and Panic

If you need to take a moment to yourself at work, it is okay. Find somewhere quiet or ask if you can quickly pop into the bathroom just to take a moment to breathe. Here, you could perhaps use one of our techniques on our page.

For me, I find a job a positive thing for myself. It keeps me busy and gives me a purpose which I need. One thing which I often forget is that although I love my job, I can switch it off once I am home. I am allowed to have a chilled day and not think or worry about something I did at work. I am lucky enough have a good relationship with my colleagues, and I believe you will be able to do so as well. This way, we can discuss any issues together and learn from each other.

I really hope your training and rest of the job go smoothly, and that you are able to feel comfortable to work there. A new job is a scary thing but can be so exciting too. We have to believe in ourselves and remind ourselves it’s okay to struggle or ask questions. We are human, and if someone judges us or responds negatively, we have to be strong enough to brush it off. Unfortunately, that is sometimes the case. But we are strong enough, and we can show them that we were hired for a reason.

I wish you all the luck, and I am really excited for you. I hope you are too.

Rosie

[mental-health-advice]

Sorry if it’s bothering you, but I’m just asking for advice because I have so much anxiety when going to school lately, as I’ve fallen out with my best friends and they’re all hanging up on me. In sports class they stand in a group and bitch about me and I have to stand alone. I’m really self conscious and cry almost everyday because of it. All I want to know is if there is any tips on calming my anxiety and dealing with this ? Thankyou ❤️

Hello! Thank you for sending this in and waiting for it to be answered. I hope I can help!

I am so sorry this has happened and you are feeling anxious about school. It should be a place where you can learn in peace and enjoy your school days so I understand how frustrating it may be and how much it may be worrying you.

Do you feel you could speak with your friends about the situation? Speaking with them and explaining how you are feeling hurt or anxious could open up their eyes as they may not realise how much it is affecting you. You could do this face to face, through a letter, through an email or text. It is okay if you do not feel you could speak to them as there are a few other options.

I encourage you to speak to a teacher at school about the situation and what has happened. There should be a teacher dedicated to student wellbeing or a staff member who can point you in the right direction. Finding a teacher you trust or feel comfortable with is really helpful, and approaching them can be a lot less scary than we believe it will be. You could ask them if you could stay behind and speak with them after a lesson, during a lunch break, before school or after. If they ask why and there are other students around, you could simply say you would like to speak with them about a piece of work but in private.

Once speaking to a teacher, they should be able to advise you on who to speak to next if that is the way to go or give you some advice on how to approach your friends. If they believe that you may be getting bullied then they may be able to take it into their own hands and approach your friends.

While this is being dealt with, we have some pages on our blog which you might find useful. I find writing down how I feel in one way or another really helps, especially if I have felt anxious about something during the day. A lot of people do this through writing a diary and it is a great thing to do if you feel it would help! Personally, I write through fiction and give my character the struggles I have had or are dealing with. I can then explore these issues through a character and kind of work through them which helps me understand it a bit more. Do you feel this is something you may be able to do? It can also be done through painting, drawing, writing songs or poetry!

MHA Getting Help

MHA Calming Anxiety and Panic

MHA Grounding Techniques

I hope this is able to be sorted quickly and for you to move forward. You are never alone and we believe in you!

Riley

[mental-health-advice]

Hi! Can someone help me? I will be moving soon and the house I will live in it's far from my college and the house I live in now it's very close to my collage and I'm very anxious about moving, this is my first home and I don't know what I could think to help me with the fact that I will be so far from college

Hello! I’m so sorry you feel this way about moving, and I hope some of my advice can help and make the experience less scary for you and to reduce the anxiety you are feeling.

When moving, it can be exactly how you are describing it. It makes us feel anxious, scared, uneasy and on edge perhaps. We’re unsure of the surroundings and it doesn’t match the routines we are used to. However, it doesn’t mean that the experience of moving is going to be negative. In fact, it can be a new and beautiful chapter to our lives. When packing up, make sure you label boxes so it’s easy to find things when you get to your new house and while boxing up things, you can even have a little clear out it you need to! Blankets, duvets, pillows, candles… all those lovely things that make you feel like home when you are home need to be easy to access. As soon as you get to the other house, you can easily unpack them and it may make you feel a little less anxious.

Imagine it as a blank canvas; you have to add your paints and strokes of the brush to make it colourful and make a picture. You can have the bed positioned how you want to. You can have the kitchen all to yourself while baking. You can keep it nice and clean and won’t have to pick up after anyone else. You can build pillow forts and sleep in them. You can project a movie on the wall while in bed! The possibilities are endless, and it will be fabulous. I do understand that these feelings won’t go away by me saying ‘it’ll be okay, stop worrying’ because I know that’s not how it works. I wouldn’t say that, anyway! However, we are always here to support you. If you need any help once you have moved, we are here. Move the furniture around every week or two; what way works best? If you get bored, could you paint a wall? Make it a feature wall, even if you feel you are terrible at art! All these little things and activities will hopefully take your mind off moving and the whole ‘making it a home’ will be easier. How could you make it your home? What could you do?

Before moving in, or one afternoon after moving in, how about sitting down with a computer and pen and paper. On google maps, work out several routes to your college via public transport, driving and walking if possible. How many bus routes could you take? Is it close enough to walk? Once working out your route to college, could you find out the nearest supermarket? The essentials like your route to college, work, the shops will become easier the more you take those routes. But for now, it is okay. You can work out these routes and use maps on your phone perhaps to guide you. Having a route worked out before taking it relieves a lot of worry, too. I hope this can help you!

Make your house your home, with all the little bits and pieces you can think of doing such as moving the sofa right in front of the TV or having the fridge next to your bed! It is yours to make yours, and I really hope that your feelings do not get in the way of making this experience a good and exciting one. You can do this, and it may seem scary but being scared of something must not get in the way of you doing it. If you are in no danger, it is okay. Don’t let the fear get in your way. You control you.

Calming Anxiety and Panic

Mindfulness

All the best,

Rosie