someone page calvin washington, now ! we got a trauma incoming , what do you mean you don’t know ? trauma nurse coordinator , the forty year old who looks like brian michael smith, they’ve been here at the harbour for 10 years now specialising in emergency room nursing. no ? jesus , move i’ll do it . how do you not know them , they're easygoing & insecure. get back to work , they’re on their way .
full name : calvin marcus washington face claim : brian michael smith age : 40 birth date : march 22nd, 1986 gender : trans man pronouns : he / him sexuality : gay
cal has always been conflicted about the place he grew up in; on the one hand, there wasn’t anything that he wanted more in this world than to get out. there’s always been this uneasiness that cal carried within himself that he tied to his tiny, upstate new york town very early on so whenever someone would ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, he’d ignore the question and say where he wants to be when he grows up. answers varied, a town over, a state over, the other coast, another country. anywhere but home. and then on the other hand, he’d feel conflicted about the idea of leaving because this was, after all, his home. this is where his family was and family is something that always mattered to him a lot. leaving always sounded like the escape he needed but at the same time, separating himself from his family seemed like something he could never do.
despite that uneasiness, cal got on well. while many kids never want to think about their high school years, cal looks back at the time with a sense of fondness. he was a track star, popular with the jocks, had all the friends in the world that adored him and whom he adored back. trouble started when it was time to graduate and make plans for the future—cal didn’t really see a future for himself. whenever he’d try to think of something he’d like to do, he’d blank and panic. to have some sort of a safety-net and because all of his friends were going to college, cal applied to a few places, eventually even landed himself a track scholarship. his parents were proud and couldn’t wait for him to start the new chapter of his life. except he didn’t.
truth be told, cal didn’t want to do college. at least not now, is what he’d say. but the need to get out of his hometown struck back, even stronger this time around, and cal decided he was going to do it. technically, he didn’t run away—his parents knew that he decided to ditch college and that he was going away somewhere; they just decided to ignore it and act like cal wasn’t actually going through with this. all sorts of threats commenced, mostly centering around cal’s parents cutting him off financially. he was sort of prepared for this (or so he thought, his savings didn’t really last him long) and he wasn’t backing up. just a few weeks after graduation, he packed up all his shit into the beat up truck he begged his father for when he was sixteen and set off. the relationship with his parents was left a mess but cal was convinced that this was what he needed to do.
there wasn’t much of plan but he’s always been an adjust and adapt kind of person; whatever happened, he would find a way to deal with it. for the first two months of his soul searching, he stuck relatively close to home and settled in pennsylvania. the decision was mostly random, though the fact that it’s where one of his high school friends moved to was a major factor in the decision. it gave him the feeling of something familiar in a completely unfamiliar setting. but soon enough cal got antsy and eager to see more so he packed his stuff, thanked his friend for the couch and went back on the road again.
cal’s next destinations came at random. some places he only spent the night at, others became more permanent. he made many friends along the way, but also had a number of shitty run-ins with people who wanted to take advantage of how friendly, open and free-spirited he was. but cal always pushed through whatever life had in store for him. money started to run dry really soon so whenever he was staying somewhere for longer, he’d pick up any odd job he was good for—it wasn’t many, but he always somehow made it work.
he made it to the other side of the country and picked nevada as his more permanent dwelling—he was there for close to a year, the longest he’s ever been in the same place, save for his hometown. he thought that this was it, that he’d found a new home. he liked reno and for the first few months, it felt right. but then soon enough, the odd feeling came back, the one where he both did and didn’t feel at home. something was off and he blamed it on his surroundings again
cal became lost. for the first time in ages he cried because he missed his family, he didn’t know what to do with himself; nothing was making him happy anymore, not even packing his things up and going on the road again. so he did the only thing he could think of and came back to new york.
it was weird, being back. it was the first time in three years that he got to see his family in person (short phone calls and postcards just weren’t the same) and it hit him harder than he had thought it would. upon coming back, his mental health was all over the place and his parents saw that so they just let him stay with them, allowed him to rest and reflect, think about what he wants to do.
cal spent a year back home and tried to regain the sense of self that he felt he had lost. he also put a lot of thought into his future—this time it was easier. no looming graduation to urge him into making a decision; he had all the time in the world to figure out what he wanted out of life. after many back and forth conversations with his childhood best friend, he followed their advice and applied to college. the next year, he was moving to chicago for a nursing degree, but this time he was leaving with a plan; with a purpose.
first few months were tough. cal couldn’t get himself to make any friends, he was just about managing the classes but other than that he was exhausted. something felt off again but this time cal decided to tackle it head on instead of just ignoring it or leaving. cal knew that therapy was something he would have a hard time affording but it felt like something he could benefit from so he went with it and thank god he did. after getting to open up and talk through his thoughts and issues, it felt like a weight being lifted off his shoulders. things finally started making sense. he’s pretty sure that it save his life.
cal came out and began his transition at 25 and he had no idea what he was doing. but, what’s important, he had his family support—something he was surprised by, considering all the shit he put them through before. with that, the quality of his life increased significantly; he was visibly happier, started going out and meeting people; made friends, started doing amazing at school. things clicked and he was finally getting somewhere.
after graduation, calvin weighed his options, spent a long time trying to figure out if he wants to once again go back home or try somewhere completely new. in the end, he settled for something in-between—same state. new york city has always been on his list and he had a couple college friends applying for jobs there so he figured he could try too. he sent out a dozen applications, got interviews for a couple but only one offer—harbourview metropolitan hospital.
he wasn't going to stay there for too long, that was the initial plan. calvin was just going to get some experience that would look good on his resume. and then a year turned into two, three, four years and then that became a decade. his entry position has now become a managing role and it seems like cal's finally grown some roots. he hasn't felt the need to leave in a very long time—but who's to say it's never going to come back?