is it this one? i'm sorry to have... offended (?) you? i wasn't specifically thinking of you when i made it though, i don't think. i wrote that a while ago.
the intention was not to discourage people from calling elfilis/elfilin they/them though or to insult they/them (and be extension it/its) characters though. it was to say that i don't see a problem with calling them something other than they/them and respecting other people's interps too. kinda like if someone hc'd a male character as a tgirl. i might not agree, but i would respect it. gender hcs should for fictional characters should be a pretty chill thing imo.
again, i'm sorry if you didn't like it or if i hurt you. if you spotted some legitimate issues with it, do tell me! but for now i stand by my points. i really hope we can sort things out since i don't quite like being called a horrible person.
hey man, nowhere in my post did i call you a horrible person. i said some of your reasoning was transphobic, which is a trap anyone can fall into, because unwittingly repeating unfortunate rhetoric is very much not a moral judgement.
and i wasn't offended by your post, because it's a sentiment i pretty much agree entirely with, just couched in some kind of silly reasoning and a broad misunderstanding of what people are actually complaining about.
most of the folk saying things like this aren't complaining about people using different pronouns for established characters (elfilis, in this case) in their own headcanon. as it was stated in my post, we're frustrated about people straight up misgendering elfilis on a universal basis.
this is an extremely widespread and specific problem with characters whose pronouns are they/them, or god forbid it/its. look at any given character whose pronouns are they/them and you will see countless people in the english-speaking sphere flat-out refusing to gender them correctly. for just a couple examples, look no further than frisk undertale + kris deltarune, the gems from houseki no kuni, and yes, indeed, elfilis. this is such an ingrained and common problem where people just innately reject the possibility of a character using they/them pronouns, let alone the idea that they might be nonbinary in any way, and because of it, you get people constantly misgendering these characters and bending over backwards to justify themselves: "oh, well, you know, this character just doesn't seem like a they/them... it was never stated directly... i'm just more comfortable using he or she..."
it's a longstanding, observable issue. elfilis, predictably, doesn't escape it either, and thus you have rafts of the english-speaking fanbase ignoring this character's proper form of address.
and elfilis' pronouns are in fact canonically they/them and it/its, by the way. this is part of the transphobic reasoning i was referring to: in both real life and regarding fictional characters, it is transphobe standby number one to insist and insist and insist and sealion into infinity that there's ~plausible deniability~ on they/them pronouns. it's used because we haven't met this character! we were never told for certain that this character uses they/them! it's for literary ambiguity! they/them are plural pronouns so it's the text referring to multiple people!
i mean this in the kindest possible way: you are just incorrect here, on multiple points. there is absolutely nothing ambiguous about elfilis' pronouns. multiple times, elfilis is strictly, directly referred to with they/it, where elfilin is referred to with he/him. the game is not being ~vague~ here, it is presenting you with plain information. the game not telling us elfilis' precise, discrete gender identity is not the same as the game not telling us elfilis' pronouns. elfilis is referred to with neutral pronouns in every language except for the ones that literally don't have neutral pronouns.
(even french has a well-known and accepted neuter pronoun these days, but our good friends (derogatory) l'Académie française refuse to ratify it so NoE didn't use it in the localisation.)
additionally, kirby is not referred to with gender-neutral pronouns. i assume you're referring to japanese here, in which case you've been misinformed by a common misconception spread by people who don't speak japanese. kirby is never gendered at all in japanese. it's not "kirby is canonically non-binary in japan!" or "kirby is canonically they/them in japan!", kirby is canonically nothing in japan. they go out of their way to not mention it. depending on your translation standards, japanese doesn't even have "they/them" as a singular pronoun. i explained this in my post here, and there's an additional post i made on the topic regarding a slightly different version of this fandom misconception here.
anyway, tl;dr, no-one is complaining about people giving elfilis different pronouns in headcanons and AUs. we're complaining about the exhaustingly common phenomenon of people forgetting how to be normal about gender when a character uses they/them.