#cannibalmamabear

[dunnetwins]

honestly i’m still laughing about how differently things go for edward norton will graham and hugh dancy will graham 

like. here’s how things end up with edward norton will graham

hannibal: *writes will a letter*

will:

[dunnetwins]

this one time i was watching an episode of scorpion and i kept pausing the episode and glancing over at the door to my room because i kept thinking my dad had walked in to talk with me about something

after about five or six minutes of Extreme Confusion i realized what was actually going on: 

apparently one of the extras in the scene having slightly muffled conversation for background noise has a voice strikingly similar to my dad’s voice and that’s what i was hearing and thinking was my dad talking to me

[dunnetwins]

me: i once saw this thing online that was like 'don't do drugs or harry potter will be disappointed'

my mom: yeah! he wouldn't do drugs!

me: i had no idea you felt so strongly ab -

my mom: he would make and deal them!

me: wh

[dunnetwins]

girl in my class in 5th grade: hey, hannah, what word starts with 'f' and ends with 'u-c-k' hahahaha

me, having no concept of the f word: fuc -

girl in my class in 5th grade: DON'T ACTUALLY SAY IT

girl in my class in 5th grade: FIRETRUCK IT'S FIRETRUCK

me: ...okay

[dunnetwins]

me: *walking upstairs to go to bed*

my dad: good night, proletariat

[dunnetwins]

so i listen to rain noises for white noise when i go to bed bc it helps me get to sleep. i didn’t have the space on my iphone for an app, so i usually just pull up one of those 10 hour long youtube videos. a few nights ago it was like 2:37 am and i was almost asleep when apparently the wifi hiccuped or something, and so the video refreshed.

the next thing i know suddenly i hear jeanne shaheen’s voice proclaiming I’D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY GOOD FRIEND HILLARY CLINTON because of course an ad started playing and i, in a confused, angry panic just start batting at my phone, trying to exit out of the youtube app, all the while hissing at it FUCK OFF JEANNE SHAHEEN

after i finally exited out of youtube i just sat there for a moment and then i distinctly remember thinking ‘I CAN’T LET HER WIN’ before deciding to sleep without the rain noises that night and just turning off my phone

[dunnetwins]

i was reading dril tweets to my dad and after a few minutes of me laughing at them and him being like ????? he just goes 

‘he must be popular with the memes, because i don’t get it’

[dunnetwins]

my dad: you need to speak up, i can't hear you.

me: it's part of my mystique.

my dad: it's part of your meme?

me: yes. it's part of my meme.