#cantmakethisup

[kakashigirl14]

Just gonna leave this receipt from my work right here....

[messsybutkind]

in the middle of a cliche face mask/movie night/pajama cookie party, my friend goes

hey guys? if you ever see me with a hair on my mole.... kill me. just kill me.

[nervousladytraveler]

Fire this AM at the old abandoned psychiatric hospital up the road.

[livefastuntilthecrash]

Had a patient brought in via EMS last night with the complaint “my urine is warmer than normal”

[danjarouswhipz]

View this post on Instagram

@Regrann from @4wheeldriveinc - Miami got some hotness!! #cantmakethisup - #regrann

[emprodabob]

View this post on Instagram

🤔🤔🤔 FIRST thing... she cute but pussy ain't worth it... SECOND... this muthafucka STAYED with this chick, who had a SIDE NIGGA, who PLUGGED his ass... then she SLEPT with him again AFTER HE GOT SHOT!? AND YOU STILL WITH THE BITCH?! 😫😫😫 #CantMakeThisUp #whattypeofshitisthis #stevewilkos #thefuckery #memeunit

[genshinkandojo-blog]

Today is National Big Wind Day in the #usa ! We'll make a brouhaha of any event!! In 1934, the observatory of Mount Washington recorded 231 miles per hour winds. Now that's some serious gusto! Be sure to respect this historical event and catch some major air at the dojo, today. #nationalbigwindday #celebrateeverything #cantmakethisup #🌪 #💨 #🌬 #wowair #wow #whatwhat #aikido #nyc #newyork #manhattan #eastvillage #martialart #gotham (at Zenshinkai Aikido Of Manhattan: Genshinkan Dojo)

[dispatcher277-blog]

Took a call from a lady who asked if we arrested any doctors tonight because when she was 12 a doctor stole her vagina and switched it. He's been going around switching vaginas for years and she wants her own back. He is also erasing her memory so she doesn't have much longer. She gave me an address where he might be which was valid, she said it's not valid because he closed the road and takes it with him wherever he goes.