#canwelearntolove

[discoveringemily]

Can We Learn To Love

Epilogue

WARNING: contains smut

Previous Chapter

Dan's POV

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         It’s been two and a half years since my emergency appendectomy. And let me just say it has been the best two years of my life, so far. Phil has been fantastic. I can tell just how much he loves me. While I was recovering, he was just the sweetest person ever. I am so blessed by this marriage. I don’t know why I was so afraid, besides being forced into the unknown. But I love him, and I remind him as often as I can of just how much I do love him. But here we are on the night of our three year anniversary. I’m terrified, who wouldn't be, but I’m ready. I think Phil knows that.

        Phil surprised me with a trip to Amsterdam for our anniversary. It couldn’t be more perfect. After a perfect dinner at a probably very expensive restaurant, Phil somehow had gotten a hold of a menu that didn’t have the prices so that I didn’t know how much my meal cost. He is so adorable like that sometimes. Anyway, after our meal, we went for a walk, enjoying the sights. I still can’t contain my excitement at times, like any other 16-year-old, often was pulling at his hand to try and get him to walk faster.

        But all too soon we were back at our hotel. Phil was in the bathroom and I was sitting on the bed biting my lip. I didn’t know how to bring up the subject with Phil. Would he say no? Would he still think I was too young? I felt like a bundle of nerves. But all too soon I heard the toilet flush and Phil was stepping out of the bathroom. “You alright love?” he asked, his eyes seeming to pierce through mine and straight into my head.

         I nod before talking a deep breath. “Phil.” I swallowed, looking at my knees. “I think…um…I mean…I want to,” I mumble, unsure if my words were making sense.

         “Want to what?” he asked, looking over my face, probably trying to read my expressions. I threw him a look that I hoped would express my thoughts. “Oh- Oh. Are you sure you are ready?”

         I nod, scooting over on the bed so Phil can sit down next to me. “I think I am. I want it,” I say once he is sat next to me, looking at him meeting his blue-green eyes.

        “Alright then.” He smiled, leaning over to kiss me. I smile through the kiss and felt myself being pulled onto Phil’s lap, out chests flush. I felt my heart flutter in my chest and the knots in my stomach, nervous for what was going to happen.

        I felt his tongue on my bottom lip, so I parted my lips slightly to welcome his tongue. As they danced together through the kiss, Phil’s hands were on my back, under my shirt, rubbing my tense muscles. He breaks the kiss, looking over my face with concerned eyes. “Love, you need to relax,” he murmurs, finally pushing my shirt up and over my head, continuing to rub my shoulder blades after the shirt is discarded nearby. I nod and bite my lip, breathing deep through my nose to calm my nerves.

         I reach out with slightly shaky hands and start unbuttoning his shirt. Once his shirt was open, I place my hands on his chest, smiling at his pale flesh. My fingers danced up and down his front, eventually making their way up to his shoulders, pushing the button up off his body.

          I felt Phil’s lips on my jaw, kissing their way down to my neck. I made a squeal as they made contact with my oversensitive skin. But my eyes fluttered shut and I let out a slight moan when he began sucking at spot on my neck. Once he was finished or seemed satisfied with his work, he rolled me off of him so I landed on my back onto the bed. He moved to straddle me, work his fingers on the button and zipper of my jeans. As he began to fight them to work them down he mumbled, “Remind me not to let you get such tight skinny jeans.”

         I laughed, lifting my hips to help him get them off. “Why not?” I faked whined. “They make my ass look great!” I kicked my feet slightly to free my legs of them, leaving me in my pants.

         Phil rolled his eyes, pecking my lips gently. “Silly, your ass looks great in almost anything, I’m sure.” He laughed; stand up for a minute to search through his bag for something, ridding himself of his jeans while he was at it. I watched him with curiosity, seeing with a bottle of lube.

         “Why did you bring lube? Did you know?” I asked, my eyes flashing from between his face and the bottle in his hands.

          Crawling back onto the bed, he leaned over and pecked me, one, two, and then three times before sitting back on his heels. “I figured it would happen sometime in the near future, and it being our anniversary, I decided it was better to be prepared, if you were ready,” he replied.  I nodded, lifting myself up onto my elbows, watching him set in next to him on the bed.

          Phil straddled me again, running his hands down my body, fingers dancing slightly. I suddenly spasm and jerk away from him, giggling. “Stop! You know I’m ticklish!”

           Phil chuckled. “I know love; I’m just trying to help you relax more,” he leaned down and kissed down my jaw, down my best and stomach, leaving his trail of kisses. I gasped slightly when he nipped at my hipbones, sliding my pants down and off my legs. He chuckled and I threw him a questioning look. “Last time I saw you naked, you had just finished being sick all over our bedroom floor before we had to rush you to A&E.”

         “That was two and a half years ago and I don’t even remember that!” I said back, trying to hide my giggles, watching Phil massage his thumbs into my hips. “You’re really beautiful, by the way.”

         “I’d like to thank my genetics,” I giggle, earning a light slap to my thigh. “But in all seriously, stop drawing this out,” I bite my lip, looking at Phil with hopeful eyes.

         Phil rolled his eyes. “And here I was, trying to make this all romantic and you are super impatient. But if you insist,” he sighed, wrapping his fingers around my half hard dick. I moaned, bunching the duvet up in my fists as Phil slowly pumped his hand up and down, running his thumb through my slit. I wiggled slightly, groaning, letting my head fall back on the pillow. I didn’t even know what to do with myself.

         Once I was properly hard, Phil let go of me, pulling his pants off and tossing them to the floor. He reached for the lube and my eyes went wide. “You um…you know what you’re doing…right?”

          Phil sighed. “Yes. Yeah, I do,” he lubed up a couple of his fingers, trying to warm it up in his hand. “This might be cold, okay?”

         I nodded my head, drawing my knees up and spreading my legs more so it was easier for him. I felt his hand run from my hip to my knee. “You need to relax, love. I don’t want this to hurt you more than it should, so you need to relax.” I nodded, taking a deep breath, relaxing the best I could. “I’m going to stretch you, alright?” I nodded again, biting my lip.

         “Breathe in,” He commanded to which I obliged, teasing my entrance with his finger. “Breathe out,” and as I did, I felt one of his fingers press into me. I drew in breath and exhaled it sharply, feeling him slowly push his finger in as far as he could before drawing it out slowly. It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. “You’re doing well Dan,” he murmured, crooking his finger slightly.

         “Bu-JESUS PHIL.” I moan out clenching. “What the hell was that?”

          Phil chuckled. “That is your prostrate, a bundle of super sensitive nerves,” he said, brushing his finger against it again, and I moaned out, arching my back, feeling my toes curl. As I was feeling the pleasant sensations run through my body, I felt a burning feeling and I hissed out. Phil was adding a second finger and stilled as soon as I hissed out.

            I had tears in my eyes. “It’s so big,” I mumble, looking at Phil’s concerned face.

           “I know love. I know. It’ll feel big, but I have to or else you could get severally hurt.” He reached his hand up, running his thumb across my cheek. “You still sure you want to do this?” I nod. “Alright, let me know when you want me to move.”

            I chew at my lip, frustrated at myself. I thought I could do this. Phil has been waiting for two years for this because of me. I look up at him; the burning sensation had died down. “You can move,” I say after several minutes. He nods and slowly pushes his two fingers in, leaning over to kiss the inside of my thighs. I bite my quivering lip. It hurt still, but I knew I should be able to handle this.

           I inhale sharply when he starts scissoring his fingers. I swallow. It felt so foreign to me. “You’re doing so great, love,” he praises. I suddenly moan out as I felt energy surge through me again, bunching the duvet up in my hand. He brushed over my prostrate again.

            He continued scissoring me before pulling his fingers out and lubing up a third finger. I felt the slight intrusion and it was a little uncomfortable, but besides that it was fine. He stretched me for a little while longer before pulling his fingers out again. I swallowed, knowing what would happen next. “Are you still alright? We can stop if you aren’t ready.”

            I chew my lip looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah; I’m just nervous about it hurting. But I want to do this. We’ve come this far,” I say, looking back at his eyes, finding them shining with something mixed between concern and love.

            Phil lathered himself up with a generous amount of lube. “If you want me to stop, call out. I don’t want it to hurt more than it should. It’s supposed to be pleasurable for both of us,” he said, leaning over to pepper my face with kisses, ending up at my lips. He slowly lined himself up and I felt the tip at my entrance. I bit my lip feeling him push in so just the head was in before I was whimpering. It hurt so much.

            Phil stilled instantly. I looked into his eyes for a few minutes before nodding my head, encouraging him to move. He was about halfway in before I choked back a sob. He stilled again. “Dan maybe we-“

            “NO! I want this, I just. It just hurts. But I want this!” I yell, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes to stop myself from crying. I felt his hands grab my wrists and pull my hands away from my eyes so I was forced to look him in the eyes.

            “I love you,” he said, leaning over to kiss me deeply. I barely noticed his hand letting go of one of my wrists until his hand wrapped around my dick, pumping slowly. I moaned into his mouth as his thumb ran over my slit again. Then it suddenly hit me. Phil’s hips were flush against me. He was all way in. How had I not noticed?

            “Let me know when you want me to move,” he said, allowing me time to adjust. He kept peppering my face with kisses, before kissing down my jaw and my neck and behind my ear. After a few minutes, I nod my head, reaching to grab onto his biceps.

            The first few thrusts after that were still painful, but the pain was starting to dwindle off. I place kisses to Phil’s shoulder and neck, thumbs rubbing circles onto his biceps as I wrap my legs gingerly around his waist.

            Phil hit that bundle of nerves again and I suddenly moan out really loudly, biting my lip. “Jesus Phil,” I groan as Phil continues to hit me in the same spot, moving faster. I bury my head in his shoulder as sweat rolls down both our bodies. “Oh god,” I moan as Phil moves one hand to start up the rhythmic patterns of his thrusts. I moan louder, throwing my head back against the pillow. “Phil I…”

            “I know. Don’t hold back,” He breathes out, panting. He looked at me, pupils blown out. He picked up the pace slightly and it wasn’t long before I moaned really loudly, coming into his hand and on my stomach. Phil’s head dropped to my shoulder where he sucked and bit a bruise into it, still thrusting a few more times before he too came. He moaned out my name as he rode out his orgasm. Stilling, he pulled out and collapsed on the bed next to me.

            I was shuddering and my breathing was shaky. I had no words so I just let my eyelids flutter shut, overwhelmed with exhaustion. I heard a noise to my right, past Phil, and then felt something rubbing my tummy. I opened my eyes to see Phil cleaning me up with a tissue before he cleaned up his hand. He lobbed it across the room before drawing me up into his arms.

            I lay against his sweating body, listening to his heart thud in his chest. I felt safe. I felt warm. But most of all, I felt loved. I let my eyes close again as my fingers traced random shapes into his chest.

            “Dan?” I was drawn from my bliss.

            “Hmm?” I hummed in response, opening my eyes to look up at his. He was smiling softly. He almost had this glow around him.

            He pulled me closer, rubbing my back gently. “You were amazing. Thank you,” he murmured. “I also love you so much.”

            I smiled softly, tilting my head to peck his lips. “I love you too Phil. So, so much,” I murmur, closing my eyes again.

            Three years into the rest of our lives and I couldn’t be any more happy than I am right now. I don’t deserve Phil, but it wasn’t my choice. We were forced together and it took an emergency to bring us to where we are today. I don’t know what the future holds, but all I know is this, I can face anything if I have Phil by my side.

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A/N: Oh my god. It's over....it's really over. *tear* But thank you to everyone who stuck with the through it all and even the couple of weeks where I had lost my motivation to write. You guys were amazing for that. 

I also want to thank Gray for a lot of things. She helped with a lot when I had questions. (Seriously, I think I sent her at least 20 messages telling her I couldn't write smut). She was awesome for editing pretty much all the chapters, minus like 3 of them. So yeah, go follow her and read her stuff. She is pretty much amazing.

[discoveringemily]

Can We Learn to Love?

Previous Chapter

Phil's POV

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           I helplessly watched Dan screaming in pain. I had no idea what was wrong. The only thing that registered in my mind was that this was not normal and that I had to get him to A&E as soon as I could. I quickly sprinted off into the bedroom to find something to dress him in. I grabbed a jumper, not really paying attention to who's it was and a pair of Dan’s trackies. I quickly ran back and sat on my knees, grabbing for one of his legs.

        He caught me in my thigh as I was wrestling to hold his foot still enough to get it into one of the legs of his trackies. I finally shove one foot through the leg hole and go to grab his other foot. The whole time I tried to convince Dan that everything was fine and it was just me. After some fighting, I managed the other foot and dragged them up over his small body, fighting a little as I have to pull it up between his hip and the floor. I think he figured out that I was dressing him.

        I begin to sit him up to get the jumper over his head. But the instant I sat him up, he started yelling at me. “No! Le-me die on the floo!” I swallow. The pain he was enough that he thought he was dying. I felt a few tears gather in my eyes, screaming him my head.

        “Dan, stop moving! It’s only a jumper! We need to go to A&E right now!” I say, trying to get him to hear me over his cries. Dan instantly stills and allows me to pull the jumper over his head. I gather him up into my arms and stand. I hustle us out of the house and I get him into the passenger side. I feel rain hit my back as I lean over him to buckle him in. He is whimpering in pain and I feel horrible. “Hold on. I have to go get my keys, wallet and phone. You’ll be okay,” I reassure him before running back into the house.

        As I’m running around the house to grab my things, I spy Dan’s bear laying discarded on the floor. He must have thrown it to the ground in his moments of pain. I reach down to grab it, thinking Dan would want it. I locate the rest of my things, locking the front door behind me. I rush back to the car and jump in, buckling my seat belt and starting the car.

        “Hang in there Dan, alright?” I say, pulling out on the street. I glance at him. He is curled up in the seat, eyes screwed shut, whimpering in pain. I was grateful that he had stopped screaming, but I knew he wanted to. I bite my lip and turn my eyes back to the road, driving as fast as I legally could, maybe a little faster. Out of the corner of my eye I watch Dan reach out his small hand. I reach out and grasp his hand. “You’re going to be alright Dan,” I say, trying to sound confident, but granted the fact it came out as a whisper, I knew it didn’t come across as confident. He simply moaned back at me.

        I went back to biting my lip, willing us to be there faster. Why did I have to buy a house in the outskirts of town? What was I thinking? But the more I drove, the more Manchester came into view. “Five more minutes Dan,” I whisper, knowing he didn’t hear me.

        Those five minutes were the longest five minutes of my life. But before I knew it, I was parking outside of A&E. I quickly hopped out of the car, and ran over to Dan’s side. I opened the door and unbuckled him, reaching around him and pulling him into my chest. I lifted him up and held him tightly to my chest as he wrapped his arms around my neck. I supported him with one arm under his bum and the other hand rubbing his back as I turned to walk into the building, shutting the door with my foot.

        The lady at the reception desk looked up at me as I was walking in as fast as I could. “Daniel Lester. He needs medical attention right now,” I say, walking up to the desk.

        “What seems to be the problem?” she asks, glancing up at me, her fingers ready to type.

        “My husband spiked a fever last night and had an upset stomach as well. During the night he woke up and vomited. He vomited once more after that. About 40 minutes ago, he suddenly screamed out in pain and was clutching his abdomen. He couldn’t focus on anything other than the pain. Please. I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” I begged her.

        She typed what I said down, calling in a team of nurses. A few moments later a team of people with a gurney showed up. They started pulling Dan away from my body. He let go of my neck as he was being laid down and then rolled him away from me. I watch helplessly as he reaches his arms for me as they are placing a mask over his nose and mouth. “Dan,” I whimper, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.

        “Sir, I’m going you’re going to have to fill out some paper work for us.” The lady at the desk said. I nod my head, watching until Dan is out of sight. I numbly sit down, filling out the sheet of paper the lady handed me. Handing it back, I kept an eye on the clock, watching the seconds roll into minutes. After about 20 minutes of numbly staring at the clock, I remember Dan’s bear that was left in the car. I quickly run out and run back in, clutching the brown bear. I sit and stare at it, observing every little detail, from the patches where the fur had worn off, to the rip on the left ear. From the missing tail, to the misshapen nose and eye that had been replaced with a button. This was Dan’s. It smelled of him. It calmed him down when he was afraid. Maybe, just maybe, it could do the same for me. So I squeezed it’s body in my lap, willing time to move faster.

        “Is anyone here for Daniel Lester?” A voice called out. I look up to see a doctor in scrubs and a medical mask still hooked around his ears, but pulled down under his chin. I numbly stand up and walk over to the man. He nods his head and I follow him into a side room. “I’m Dr. Norris.”

        “Phil Lester. What happened?” I barely mumbled, looking him in the eyes.

        “Daniel had a ruptured appendix. From what you described to the nurse at reception, I would guess it ruptured this morning. But we performed an emergency appendectomy, removing the burst appendix and cleaned up the infection that had started to spread. He is in recovery and we are just waiting for him to wake up. We can go up to his room if you would like,” the doctor explained.

        I nod my head, following him numbly through the labyrinth that is A&E. We finally arrive at the door leading to Dan. Dr. Norris holds the door open for me and step in, glancing at Dan. He looks so dwarfed in the hospital gown. He looks at peace though, even though he is attached to an drip and has a oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, and I can’t help but relax at the fact he is no longer in pain. I’m drawn from my thoughts when I hear the doctor clear his throat. “He shouldn’t be asleep for too much longer. He will probably be slightly confused when he does wake up. But I’ll leave you to it.” He turns to walk out before sticking his head back into the door. “You brought him here just in time Mr. Lester. Appendicitis can be fatal if it goes untreated.”

        I nod before dragging the chair over. I drop Dan’s bear under the chair before reaching out to grip the hand that doesn’t have the drip. I hold it softly between my hands, staring at his face. Reality suddenly hits me. I could have lost Dan. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I could have lost him. Slowly, the tears roll down my cheeks and I don’t care. “I was so scared Dan. I could have lost you. I love you so much,” I whisper, my voice a little hoarse. Dan didn’t respond. He was peacefully asleep. “Wake up soon, Dan,” I mumble.

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        The steady beeping in the background and lulled me into a daze. I don’t know how long it had been but I suddenly felt fingers in my hand flex. I gasp slightly, looking up to Dan’s face, watching the eyelids flutter. “Dan? You awake? Open your eyes for me Dan,” I say quickly to him. I watch one of his eyes crack open for a few short seconds, before closing again. I hear him groan and I sigh. “Dan, keep your eyes open, please,” I beg him, watching him moan, and then his eyes slowly opening to reveal the chocolate brown that I have grown to love.

        “Hey, sleepy head,” I murmur fondly, watching him take in the world as his head turns to look at me. I smile softly at him, hoping he is alert enough to talk.

        “Phil,” he murmured, then stopped. I watched his free hand move up to his mouth to feel the oxygen mask. “What?” he asks, his voice muffled by the mask;

        I chuckle slightly at his confusion. “Leave the mask on. It’s helping you breathe right now.” He look at me, disgruntled. “Yeah, I’d assume you’d be slightly confused. You just came out of surgery. Your appendix burst earlier this morning, apparently. I got you to A&E as quickly as I could and they rushed you off into surgery as soon as we got here. They removed the infection and you should be in a lot less pain now.”

        He nods slowly, his eyes searching over my face carefully, as if he was taking me in for the first time. His fingers shake slightly as he slowly reaches his free hand out and trace his fingertips down my cheek. He must have seen the tear stains on my face. “Why were you crying?” he mumbles, sounding concerned

        I sniffed, trying to will myself not to cry. “I didn’t know what had happened to you. I explained to the nurse at the reception desk your symptoms and what had happened at home. She said they would have to operate on you straight away. Then you were taken from me and they didn’t tell me anything. I had no idea what was going on. After an hour, the surgeon came out to talk to me. He told me your appendix had burst, spreading infection in your body. It can be fatal if it isn’t cared for. I could have lost you Dan. I could have lost you and I don’t know what I would have done if that had happened…” I say, voice dropping off at the end, looking downward. I bring my hands up, resting them on the bridge of my nose, his hand still clasped between them. I feel a tear run down my cheek, mad at myself for crying again. But Dan reaches out and wipes it away with the pad of his thumb.

        “I’m still here Phil,” he whispers. It suddenly hits me. Dan is still here with me. He didn’t die. He is still here for me to love and appreciate. Here I am crying because he could have died, but he didn’t. He was lying in front of me, alive.

        I look up at Dan, sniffing, dropping his hand to rub at my eyes. “You are. And I should be thankful for that. I am thankful you are still here,” I say, reaching out to brush his curly fringe out of his eyes fondly watching him yawn slightly, probably trying to not show how exhausted he is. “But you should rest. You need to rebuild your strength,” I murmurs, watching his eyelids droop as he nods slowly. I suddenly remember his bear. He watches me with careful eyes as I reach down under my chair, pulling up his familiar brown and fuzzy creature and holding it out to him.

        “Ollie…” he mumbles, looking from the bear to me, back to the bear. “Thank you.” he reaches out and takes the bear from me, hugging it close to his chest. I feel a smile come on as I watch him cuddle the bear.

        “I figured you might want him and I brought him with us when I drove you to A&E. Anyway, sleep now. I’ll be here when you wake up,” I say, still smiling slightly, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

        He sleepily nods and closes his eyes and his breathing slowly evens out. But before he seems drop out completely, I decide to say the one thing on my mind. “I love you, Dan. I love you too much to have lost you,” I said it and there was no going back. I watch his crooked attempt at a smile, reaching his hand out slowly. I smile and clasp his hand. My breath catches in my throat as he pushes his fingers in between mine. As his hand squeezes my hand, my heart flutters like a teenager when their crush has finally recognized them. I take that as his sleepy attempt of reciprocating his feelings.

        Dan’s going to be alright. We’re going to be alright. I love him and I can only assume he feels the same. We may have a rather messed up life and not the most ideal, but through it all, I think we can say that we learned to love.

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Epilogue

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A/N: Guys....It's pretty much over!!! What happened to the time? Sad day. Thank you to Gray for being amazing and putting up with my probably pretty horrible grammar. She is absolutely lovely. She also is just there for me to talk to if I need it. Go give her a follow and read her stuff because this story wouldn't be a good as it is without her

[discoveringemily]

Guys....guys...... I'm posting Chapter 10 of Can We Learn to Love today!!!! (around 4 pm Central Standard Time, so about 10 PM in England. But sadly, it is the last chapter, not including the epilogue

[discoveringemily]

Guys....

I think I'm going to attempt writing some of chapter 10 for CWLTL today. I'm really nervous about this because I still am not motivated and I want to delete everything I write, but I want to try. So yeah. Just thought you guys would want to know that

[discoveringemily]

Concerning Can We Learn To Love?

So to end this little thing, I'm going to say I'm trying to find my motivation and give you guys the chapter you guys deserve and one that I will be happy with. Thank you for following this story and I hope you guys understand! <3

[discoveringemily]

Can We Learn To Love?

Chapter 9

Previous Chapter

Dan’s POV

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        I barely register anything but pain. The last thing I remember before the shooting, intolerable pain was being curled up into Phil’s side, taking comfort in him. But then there was a sharp pain in my side and now I’m curled up on the floor screaming and crying. Phil had been next to me, but he’s gone, or is he still there? I don’t know. I’m too blinded by the pain.

        I feel something grab my foot and I scream more, trying to kick my leg free to bring it back up to my chest. But the thing holding my foot is stronger than me. I feel something being shoved over my foot before the thing grabs my other foot and does the same thing. Something is being dragged up over my legs and roughing dragged between my hip and the floor. I register it as a pair of trackies. I’m being pulled up into a sitting position and that makes everything worse. I cry out in pain, trying to get whatever is moving me to stop. “NO! Le- me die on the floo-!” I scream out, trying to wiggle away from whatever had me.

        “Dan….moving….jumper…need…A&E….now!” is all I hear between my cries. I figured out it was Phil and I stopped fighting. Something, I’m assume a jumper, is quickly dragged over my head and I’m scooped up off the floor. I cry out in pain as I’m being moved.

        Suddenly it’s cool and rain is hitting my face. I barely register being placed in the car and a seatbelt being dragged across me. I hear Phil tell me he’ll be right back because he had to grab his keys, phone, and wallet. But right now, I could care less. I was in too much pain to care. But each minute dragged on and it seemed like an eternity before I heard the car door shut and the engine start.

        “Hang in there Dan, alright?” I hear a voice call out, knowing at once it was Phil. I had stop screaming, but the pain was still rather intense. I kept my eyes screwed shut, but the tears still squeezed through. I blindly reached my hand out, searching for Phil. I needed some form of contact. Something to let me know he was still there for me, even though I knew he physically was still with me, something to anchor me. But when I felt his hand grasp mine, he whispered, “You’re going to be alright, Dan.” I moaned in response.

        After what seemed like ages, I felt the car come to a stop. I heard a door open and close, and then registered cool wind on my side as my door opened. Phil reached over me, undoing my seatbelt, and pulling me up into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck with one of his hands supporting me from under my bum and one on my back to steady me. I whimpered at the pain of being moved, but Phil walked fast because all of a sudden it smelled sterile and the air changed from cool to warm. I vaguely heard Phil talking to someone, letting them know what had happened. I felt new hands on my sides, pulling me away from Phil’s chest. Then I was laid down on a bed and my arms were pulled away from Phil’s neck. I whimper as I feel something being placed over my nose and mouth, still reaching out for Phil. I notice I’m moving, and it suddenly hits me that I’m being rolled away from Phil. I cry out, cracking my eyes open, seeing strange people leaning over me, telling me that everything will be alright. I feel a sharp pain in my hand and look to see someone has placed a water gun in my hand. I whimper, before feeling black tendrils pulling me down and darkness taking over.

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        I hear beeping, but I can’t quite bring myself to open my eyes. I lay there fighting to open my eyes, but it is too exhausting. I flex my fingers before realizing there is something grasping my hand. I moan slightly and I hear a gasp.

        “Dan? You awake? Open your eyes for me Dan,” I hear. I begin to work harder at opening my eyes. After a few moments, I barely crack one open. Everything is blurry and it is bright. I groan, closing my eye again. “Dan, keep your eyes open, please,” the voice asks again. I moan slightly, forcing me eyes open again, blinking at the harsh lighting and letting everything come into focus.

        “Hey, sleepy head,” The voice fondly says again. I turn my head towards where the sound was coming from and see a warm smile and bright green-blue eyes.

        “Phil,” I murmur before I realize my voice sounds rather funny. I reach my free hand up to my mouth to feel plastic over where my nose and mouth should be. “What?” I ask, my voice muffled by the thing on my mouth and the sleep.

        I hear Phil chuckle. “Leave the mask on. It’s helping you breathe right now.” I look at him confused. “Yeah I’d assume you’d be slightly confused. You just came out of surgery. Your appendix burst earlier this morning apparently. I got you to A&E as quickly as I could and they rushed you off into surgery as soon as we got here. They removed the infection and you should be in a lot less pain now.”

        I nod slowly, watching him carefully, observing his face. He looks exhausted, I can tell that much. His hair is ruffled and standing up in places like he had been dragging his fingers through his hair. Then I catch the dried up tear tracks on his cheeks. Why had he been crying? I slowly reach my free hand out and trace my finger tips down one of the tear stains. “Why were you crying?” I mumble.

        Phil sniffed suddenly. “I didn’t know what had happened to you. I explained to the nurse at the reception desk your symptoms and what had happened at home. She said they would have to operate on you straight away. Then you were taken from me and they didn’t tell me anything. I had no idea what was going on. After an hour, the surgeon came out to talk to me. He told me your appendix had burst, spreading infection in your body. It can be fatal if it isn’t cared for. I could have lost you Dan. I could have lost you and I don’t know what I would have done if that had happened…” he says, voice dropping off at the end, looking downward, bring his hands up, resting them between his eyes, my hand still clasped between them, a tear running down his cheek. I reach out and wipe it away.

        “I’m still here Phil,” I whisper, watching him carefully.

He looks up at me, sniffing, dropping my hand to rub at his eyes. “You are. And I should be thankful for that. I am thankful you are still here,” he says, reaching out to brush my curly fringe out of my eyes and I yawn slightly. “But you should rest. You need to rebuild your strength,” he murmurs, eyes shining with concern. I nod slowly, watching him reach down under his chair, pulling up something brown and fuzzy and holding it out to me.

“Ollie…” I mumble, looking from the bear to Phil, back to the bear. “Thank you.” I reach out and take the bear from him, hugging it close to my chest.

“I figure you might want him and I brought him with us when I drove you to A&E. Anyway, sleep now. I’ll be here when you wake up,” Phil says, smiling slightly, leaning over to kiss my forehead.

I sleepily nod and close my eyes, drifting off quickly. But before I drop out completely, I hear something faint. “I love you, Dan. I love you too much to have lost you.” I attempted a small smile, reaching my hand out slowly and blindly. When I felt the warmth of his own hand, I gently pushed my fingers in between his, squeezing his hand, hoping to convey that I felt the same way.

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Next Chapter

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A/N: First of all, Gray is a super amazing editor! Second, there is only one more chapter =[ (but there will be an epilogue!!)

[discoveringemily]

Can We Learn To Love?

Previous Chapter

Phil’s POV

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        I was roused from my sleep by the sound of someone being sick. I groaned, opening my eyes. I grab my phone and check to see that it is only 4:07 AM. I glanced over next to me to look for Dan. I didn’t see him, so I could only hope he made it to the bathroom before being sick everywhere. I stood up and made my way through the dark house to the bathroom. But like the rest of the house it was dark, and when I flipped on the light, it was empty. I exhaled sharply, knowing I now had an ill husband somewhere probably laying his own vomit. I turned around and made my way quickly to the bedroom again and flipped on the light.

        Dan was curled up on the floor and right by his face was a lovely puddle of vomit. I quickly sucked in a deep breath before kneeling down next to where he was laying. “Dan,” I murmured, stroking his curly, damp hair.

        He moaned in response before answering “What’s wrong with me?” He was panting slightly. He cracked his eyes open to look at me.

        I felt his head, feeling the beads of sweat and the heat from his forehead. “Probably the flu, but let’s get you clean and back in bed, yeah? Do you think you can stand up?” I ask, watching him weakly shake his head no. “Alright, I got you,” I mumble, scooping him up into my arms. He groans in response to the movement.

        I take him into the bathroom, setting him down on the toilet seat. He looked so pale and helpless. Sweat rolled down his body as he sat with his eyes squeezed shut. I place my hand on his shoulder and his eyes slowly open to look at me. I offer a small, comforting smile before stating, “We should get you cleaned up. Let’s get you out of your pants, yeah?” He nods slightly. I feel so wrong doing this as place my hands on his hips where the waistband of his boxer briefs sit. I slowly tug them down, having to be a bit rough to get them to slide between his bum and the toilet seat cover, seeing as Dan was no help to lift his bum off the seat for a couple of seconds, but I got them off, trying my best to avoid looking between his legs. I move to turn on the water so it can begin warming up, but I don’t turn on the shower. I then lift him up and into the tub so he can sit while I help him clean up. I grabbed the cup from the sink we use to rinse, hoping he wouldn’t mind, as I begin filling it up and dumping it over his head and his body.

        As I’m shampooing his hair he mumbles to me, “My tummy hurts so bad Phil. So, so bad.”

        I quickly stop moving my fingers and ask, “Do you think you’re going to be sick again?” He shakes his head and I watch a tear roll down his cheek. I sigh as I begin massaging his head again, “You’ll be alright. It’s probably just a bad case of the flu or something. You’ll be feeling better in no time,” I try to encourage him as I begin dumping cups of water on his hair to rinse out the suds.

I grab the flannel, squeezing some shower gel on it before washing his back, shoulders, and arms. I then have to uncurl Dan so I can wash his chest and tummy, which he whimpers slightly as I gently wash. I wash his thighs and legs as best as I can before I pause, unsure if I should continue, but a slight shrug from him shows he either doesn’t care or is feeling too poorly to care, so I very quickly wash between his legs. I wring out the flannel before grabbing the cup to rinse him off and then shutting off the water. I stand and grab one of the towels from the rack, wrapping it around his curled up body drying him off the best I could before attempting to lift him out of the tub to sit him on the toilet again. I grab the other towel and rub it over his hair gently, getting all the excess water out, before picking him back up into my arms to carry back into our bedroom.

I lay him on my side of the bed, scurrying over to his chest of drawers to grab a clean pair of pants for him. I help him slide his legs into the proper leg holes and he slightly lifts his hips up so I can pull them the rest of the way up. I sit down next to him on the bed and brush the hair out of his face. “I’m going to turn on the lamp on your side of the bed and turn off the main light so you can sleep. I need to clean up the floor, but I’ll bring you a bin in case you get sick again, alright?” He simply nods before rolling over and curling back into a fetal position. I lean over and kiss the side of his head, stand up, tuck him in under the duvet, turning off the main light and turning on the lamp. I bring him a bin before cleaning up the vomit on the floor.

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        It’s about 7 AM when I hear Dan being violently sick into the bin by our bed. I had been out in the lounge reading since cleaning up the vomit from earlier. I had already called into work and said I wasn’t going to be coming in today. I placed down the book and made my way into the bedroom, sitting next to him, rubbing his back, trying to soothe him. After several second of peace from him being sick and dry heaving, I quietly ask, “All finished?” He nods his head, spitting into the bin. I lean him back and lay his head against the pillow, brushing the curls out of his eyes. “Are you feeling any better?”

        He pants and shakes his head no. “My tummy still hurts so bad. Why won’t it stop?” he asks, eyes large, unshed tears glistening.

        “I don’t know. I called my mum to see if she could run to the store to pick up some meds for you so she should be here soon,” I explain, continuing to run my fingers through his hair. “I also called into work, telling them I won’t be able to make it in today, so I’ll be here all day to take care of you,” I murmur as I watch him slightly nuzzle up into my touch. “Now, try and get back to sleep. You need to rest.”

        He nods, so I stand up, grabbing the bin to wash out and return, making sure to leave the door open after I’ve returned the bin. I go back to reading until my mum arrives. We exchange a few words and I pay her back for the medicine. I quickly get the dosage, thankful my mom bought liquid, having remember what Dan said yesterday about no pills.

        I feel horrible waking him up, or shaking him from the dazed state he was into get the medicine into him, but he takes it without word. I quietly pad out of the room to make myself some tea and wait.

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        It’s about 11 when Dan wanders out still dressed in only his pants, clutching a stuffed bear to his chest. He sits down next to me, laying his head on my shoulder. I glance at him, before wrapping my arm around him as he presses himself into my side. “Feeling any better?” I ask. He shakes his head slightly, pressing into my side even more. He must really be sick if he is seeking this much contact to comfort him. “Who’s this?” I ask, gesturing towards his bear. He doesn’t bring the bear out very often and I’ve never really had the chance to ask him about it.

        “Ollie,” he states simply, squeezing the bear tightly. “I’ve had him since I was a baby.”

        I nod and we sit in silence for several minutes before he says something. “My tummy hurts really badly. So bad,” he mumbles as his eyes screw shut.

        I hum in response, looking down at him. “I wish there was something I could do,” I murmur, running my fingers through his hair, knowing he liked that from earlier. He falls silent and I think he has fallen asleep again, so I allow my attention to be taken back to the television.

I can’t help but pity him. No one likes being ill and whatever Dan has, he has a bad case of it. I turn his legs so they are over my lap so I can cuddle him close trying to give him as much comfort as possible. After a couple of programmes, I hear a whimper and look down at Dan. His eyes suddenly pop open before squeezing shut again. He shoves himself away from me, falling off the sofa in the process. He basically screams out in pain, clutching his right side, curling around himself. I know instantly that isn’t good. Tears are flowing down from his face. I kneel down next to him, “I think we need to get you to A&E as soon as possible,” I tell him, but he is in so much pain, I don’t think he heard me, let alone understood what I was saying.

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Next Chapter

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A/N: GRAY <3 She is the best whether it is editing or giving me tips on writing. You should go check her out =]

[discoveringemily]

Can We Learn To Love?

Previous Chapter

Dan’s POV

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            It’s been a couple of months since my birthday and things are progressing and getting better between me and Phil. I enjoy being around him more than I use to. He’ll tell me about things I never knew and about his job. He tells me about his childhood and what it was like when he was my age. He’s also been teaching me how to cook and I absolutely love it. I think I am starting to like him. I didn’t know that was possible. Six months ago, I was breaking down because I was being forced to marry a man 16 years older than me, and now I want to spend time with him. But I don’t think I’ll ever have the voice or the courage to tell Phil this.

            Phil burst through the front door with a smile on his face. I have been watching a documentary on dolphins, thinking they are one of the scariest animals in the ocean because of what they are capable of. He waltzes over, sits down next to me and is beaming with joy.

            “And what are we so happy about?” I ask quietly, giggling at his happiness and excitement.

            He places his arm on the back of the sofa, behind where I am sat before answering. “Oh, well, my parents have invited us over for dinner tomorrow night for my brother’s birthday. He’s turning 20 so my parents wanted us to come over. And so I said yes.”

            I lean into his side ever so slightly and hum in response. I glance upwards at him, seeing he hasn’t shaven a few days and is sporting the stubble. I bring my attention back to the television as I feel his arm drop and I feel the weight on my shoulders. “I was thinking that maybe tonight you wanted to go out to dinner and maybe do something tonight?”

            “Uh, sure, that sounds nice.” I respond, looking back at him. He smiles and we stand up to make our way to the car.

            We enjoy a nice dinner at a local fish and chips place, followed by some shopping for clothing because we can. After returning, we sat and watched some other animal documentary before turning in for the night.

            The next day went much the same. Phil woke me up before he left for work, telling me he had left some breakfast for me, promising to be back by half five and that I needed to be ready to meet him in the car so we could go to him parents. Thing is, I didn’t get up after he left. I wasn’t really hungry and I felt exhausted. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

            Light streaming into my face woke me up next. I glanced at the clock to see it was almost noon. I groaned and sat up, instantly regretting it. My tummy felt like it was churning slightly. So I laid back against the pillows on the bed waiting for the feeling to subside thinking it must be from the fish I ate last night. After a few minutes, I was able to get out of bed. I made my way to the bathroom to have a shower.

            After a shower and clean clothing, I went into the kitchen to see toast and a cold cup of tea sitting on the table. That must have been the breakfast Phil had made me. I quickly dumped the toast and tea, washing the dishes. After searching through the fridge, I realized I still wasn’t hungry, so I made my way into the lounge to watch a film or something on television. Not long into a film, I fell into a restless nap, brought on by exhaustion. I drifted in and out of sleep for a majority of the afternoon.

            Some one is shaking my shoulder. I groan and shove the hand away. “Dan, we need to go.”

            “No…”I mumble, feeling someone sitting me upright. My barely open my eyes to see Phil kneeling by the sofa.

            “You alright Dan? You look absolutely wreaked.” He murmured.

            I mumble something, standing up. “I’m fine, just tired. We should get going.” Stumbling my way towards the door to go out to the car, I hear Phil get to his feet and follow me out the door. We get into the car and drive over to his parents. We spend the entire ride in silence. I’m trying to figure out why I’m so tired. I slept well last night and slept all morning and most of the afternoon. Then there was the fact my tummy felt all sick this morning and the fact I wasn’t hungry. I wrote it off as some illness that I’ll get over in a few days.

            We arrive and Phil’s parents welcome us with hugs. They led us into their dining room and we all sat enjoying the meal his mum had prepared. Well, in my case, I forced several bites down and then picked at my food. I could feel Phil watching me closely, but I brushed it off. Once everyone had finished eating, his mum produced a cake for Phil’s brother. I ate about 4 bites of it before being unable to eat any more. My abdomen was in pain and I didn’t feel like I could force anymore food. On top of that, I was beginning to feel slightly warm. Phil’s mum offered to make tea, which I declined. She told us to go sit in the lounge and she’d bring out the tea when it was ready.

            I made sure to sit next to Phil on one of the sofas the Lester’s had. I laid my head on Phil’s shoulder the instant we sat down. He looked down at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders before asking “You alright?”

            I nod and lift my head slightly. Even though I feel warm, I shivered as a felt a chill run down my spine. I felt Phil rub his hand up and down my arm, apparently trying to warm me up. His mum returned with tea, and his family sat and talked, catching up on each life. I had laid my head back down on Phil’s shoulder, closing my eyes. I had begun to sweat, still shivering every so often. Phil apparently had either finished his tea or set it down to feel my forehead.

            “Dan, you’re rather warm. I think you might have a fever.” He stated, glancing at his mum.

            She quickly stood up and walked off, only to return a few moments later with some medication. She handed them to Phil. “Here. I don’t know how stocked up you two are, but here is some fever reducer, to help with it. I suggest you take him back home and get him to bed.”

            “N-ills” I mumble. Hoping to get what I said across.

            Phil nodded his head. “Thanks Mum. We’ll do that. It’s liquid Dan.” He said, standing up and lifting me to my feet with him.

            I leaned into his side. I felt the pain in my tummy again, and I didn’t want to move. I vaguely heard Phil say goodbye to his family and a happy birthday to his brother before gently ushering me out to the car.

            “Phil, my tummy hurts. It hurts so badly.” I mumble, eyes fluttering shut as he drives towards our house.

            “I’m trying to get home as soon as I can. We’ll be home in a few minutes. Do you think you’ll be sick?” Phil questions, as I feel him brush my fringe out of my face.

            I let out a shaky breath, clutching my abdomen. “No. I don’t think so. I just want to sleep and for it to not hurt.”

            Phil doesn’t say anything. I opened my eyes when the car stopped in front of our house. I slowly tumble out of the car, and follow Phil inside. “Go get ready for bed and get in bed. I’ll be there in a minute with the fever reducer.”

            I nod my head, stumbling into the bedroom. I peel off my shirt and my jeans, opting for sleeping in just my pants seeing as I’m sweating so much. I crawl under the duvet, curling into a fetal position, closing my eyes, willing the pain in my tummy to go away with no luck. I felt the bed dip, and Phil’s hand turning my body on to my back, lifting my head upwards.

            “Dan, you need to take this before you sleep.” He mumbles. He puts a spoon at my lips and I cautiously open and swallow the liquid, my face scrunching up with distaste. It was nasty as hell. I hear him sigh as I roll back onto my side, drawing my knees into my chest, closing my eyes. I feel his hand rub my back through the duvet. “Get some sleep” he adds, before leaning over to kiss the side of my head. I feel the dip in the mattress return to normal signally that Phil was getting up and leaving the room, turning the light off on the way out.

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Next Chapter

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