Steve tapped a few buttons on the computer, trying to get information to send. "Information is coming through." He mumbles into his earpiece before stepping back, turning around, startling slightly when he sees the person standing in the doorway, he hadn't heard them walk in.
"Well... this is awkward." Steve glances down at his uniform, not his usually one, no... on it bold and in the front was the Hydra symbol. He tightens his grip around his shield, black with the Hydra symbol scrawled onto the front of it.
"Turn around. Pretend you saw nothing." Steve turns and yanks the memory chip out of the computer, tucking it away. "Hail Hydra." He whispers before turning again, eyes cold. Steve Roger's isn't Captain America... it's been so long sense he was, now, now he's Captain Hydra.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 2,834
Summary: You couldn’t make him remember who he used to be, but you could give him a warm and welcoming home–a safe space filled with intimacy, connection, and peace.
Warnings: AU. Explicit sexual content. Explicit language. Captain Hydra!Steve (he’s healing but doesn’t remember who he is). Mild angst. Feels. Unprotected sex. Rough sex. Oral sex (f receiving).
A/N: This follow up to Subdue is a birthday gift for my dearest wifey, @buckets-and-trees ❤️ Happiest of birthdays to you, my love! I hope you enjoy this horny, feels-filled gift 🤭
It was early, so early that the sun had barely risen to greet the new day.
Your cozy cabin in the middle of the woods was filled with shadows and silence, and the spot beside you in bed was empty and cold.
You slipped from your warm blanket cocoon, shivering as you made your way down the hall, because you knew where you would find him.
Just as you predicted, Steve stood in the bathroom, before the large mirror that hung over the sink, staring at his reflection.
It was odd–and a little devastating–that his gaze could look so vacant, but still, somehow, his handsome features painted a picture of destitution, of brokenness, of irritation.
You watched from the doorway as he stared at the man in the mirror like he didn’t recognize him, like he was a stranger–and you supposed that he was.
It wasn’t just the thick beard that covered his jaw, or the way his blonde hair had grown out, he just wasn’t the man he used to be–the man he couldn’t even remember having been.
And it made your heart hurt.
It had been over three months since you found Steve–back then, Captain Hydra–standing in the middle of your cabin looking lost and near feral. Three months since your empathy and kindness had somehow soothed the savage beast.
Three months since you willingly gave yourself to the deadly stranger looming in your home, hoping that maybe, just maybe a bit of connection and intimacy–of reprieve from whatever horrors had been forced upon him–would help him in some way.
And you thought it did.
Steve hadn’t hurt you since he’d been here. If anything, he clung to you like you were the only anchor he had to the present, often following you around your home, a quiet shadow, always looming close, always seeking small moments of connection and touch–yearning for the softness that you were so willing to show him.
In the early days, you had tried to help Steve remember who he was, who he had been, and what Hydra had done to him–ensuring him that his actions under their control weren’t his fault. But you learned quickly that trying to unearth those memories–that knowing–from his fractured mind only triggered him, leaving him agitated and restless for days on end.
So you backed off from trying to make him remember, and instead focused on just helping him heal in any way you could–providing a safe space for him, a warm and welcoming home, and little by little, it did seem as though Steve was broken less and healing more.
But he still had these moments, these gutwrenching moments when you knew he was lost in the dark, splintered depths of his mind, like he was drowning at sea, barely able to keep his head above water.
So you would be that life line for him. You would save him from drowning any way that you could.
You moved closer to him now, gently touching his arm so as not to startle him.
Still, Steve did give the most minute of jerks, his eyes blinking into focus, warming considerably at the sight of you standing beside him in the mirror.
He turned to you immediately, his hands lifting to circle your waist and tug you flush against him. He buried his face against the crook of your neck, his breath shaky as he breathed you in, clung to you.
For a moment, you just stood there, allowing Steve to hold you, hugging him back, clinging to him in return as you felt some of the rigid tension slake away from his big, broad body.
“Come on,” you encouraged, stepping away as you reached for Steve’s hand.
You led him to the shower, stripping naked and watching as he did the same, unable to help it as your eyes lingered on his powerful body, on all those perfectly cut muscles and blemish-free skin that hid the secrets of what he had endured over the years.
You turned on the shower, waiting until the water was just right before stepping in and reaching a hand behind you. Steve’s big paw instantly enveloped yours, and he joined you in the small space.
It was a tight fit–almost comical, the two of you squeezed in the tiny shower together–but you could tell Steve needed this right now–the intimacy, the distraction.
He only confirmed your knowing as he stepped as close as possible, once again clinging to you, his hands so gentle as they trailed up and down your back as he nosed along your shoulder, greedy to drown in your scent.
You didn’t shy away from him, didn’t admonish him for making it hard to actually get clean, you just washed yourself–and then Steve–as best as you could before shifting the two of you beneath the hot stream of water and letting it pour over you.
Letting it hopefully wash away whatever horrors had been haunting Steve since he awoke this morning.
You waited for him to press a soft kiss to the side of your throat–his little cue that he was okay now, that he was ready for the shower to end.
Shooting him a soft smile, you raked your fingers through his drenched hair, pushing it back from his face and taking a moment to cradle his beardy cheek in your hand. You laughed as Steve eagerly nuzzled into your touch like a cat, his eyes twinkling at you, all lit up now and making your belly swoop as he turned to press a kiss to the center of your palm.
He followed you out of the tiny shower, watching patiently as you dried yourself first before using a second towel to dry him as well. You both knew that he could just as easily dry himself, but you also both enjoyed when you did it, further caretaking him in this small and intimate way.
Back to the bedroom the two of you returned, taking your time to get dressed, then to make the bed together. Then you were moving as one out into the kitchen to get the coffee machine brewing.
You continued what had become your shared morning routine as you led Steve out through the sliding glass doors and onto the back deck of your home. It overlooked the small pond down at ground level, and the thick forest beyond, and you could see more tension ease from Steve’s broad shoulders as he sank down onto the padded lounger situated against the back wall of your cabin.
This time, he was the one reaching for your hand, gentle as he tugged you down beside him, his thick arm curling around your shoulders and encouraging you close.
You could feel him inhale the cold, fresh air deep into his lungs before breathing it out in a content sigh, and you smiled as you rested your head against the side of his chest.
Nature always seemed to soothe Steve, and maybe that’s what brought him to you and your home in the first place.
It soothed you, too. It’s why you moved all the way out here in the middle of nowhere, to leave your own ghosts behind and allow yourself a fresh start.
It was almost poetic in a way, that you and Steve had found each other, had made this cozy, healing home together, each of you trying to move on from your own aftermath.
You let out your own content sigh at the thought, sinking more heavily against Steve as his hand gently rubbed up and down your arm.
Even as the cool, winter air nipped at you through your layers and your warm breath puffed out before you in a cloud that just as quickly dissipated, you would sit outside with him and endure the chill for as long as he wanted.
Because if there was one thing that Steve Rogers deserved, it was peace, and you were more than happy to give it to him any way that you could.
You were roused from sleep by the feeling of Steve jerking awake beside you in bed.
Blinking the sleep from your eyes, you watched as he pressed himself up on his elbows. The glow of the full moon hanging heavy outside limned the sharp cut of his jaw, and you could see the way he panted for breath, his nostril flaring as he glanced around the dark bedroom, disoriented.
You shifted, reaching toward the lamp on the nightstand beside you, but didn’t even get close to the switch before your wrist was grabbed and yanked backward, and you were suddenly pinned in bed beneath Steve’s large, heavy frame.
He still had that confused but feral look in his eye as he breathed hard, staring down at you in distrust.
“You’re okay,” you whispered, keeping your movements slow as you lifted your free hand to cup the side of his face. “You’re here with me, and you’re safe.”
For a moment, he just stared at you blankly. You felt your heart skitter in your chest at the way he was watching you, like you were completely unknown to him, and worse–like you were a threat.
Pushing past your fear, you gently caressed Steve’s face with your thumb. “Breathe,” you encouraged him, your knuckles soothing across his jaw.
Steve’s nostrils flared again as he breathed in deep, and you could see it–the moment your scent registered in his brain as familiar, as safe.
As home.
He shuddered hard, his weight sinking against you more heavily as his forehead dropped to yours.
“You’re okay, Steve,” you murmured against his lips, fingers scritching through his hair and making him shiver. “I’ve got you.”
He made a quiet, aborted noise in the back of his throat. Lifting his head, his haunted gaze bore into yours for a long, tense moment. Then he kissed you in this feral, desperate way that had you tasting his fear–and desperation–on your tongue.
Something about your breathless gasps as you tried to keep up with the frantic onslaught of his lips had Steve grunting and leaning into that feralness–allowing it to consume him entirely and chase away the disturbing dregs of his nightmare that he couldn’t quite remember.
Between one needy kiss and the next, Steve had both of your wrists pinned to the bed at either side of your head with one of his hands. The other shoved between your bodies, yanking down his boxer briefs and tugging your panties aside so he could shove into you in one, long, hard thrust.
You whined against his jaw at the sudden intrusion, thankful that your body adjusted to him quickly, your pussy grower wetter than it already was and aiding the forceful thrusts of Steve’s cock as he frantically fucked you.
You whimpered at a particularly harsh plunge of his cock, your eyes nearly rolling back in your head as you shifted beneath him, tilting your hips and welcoming the relentless rut of his cock into the deep, tight depths of your cunt.
Trying to alleviate some of the pressure, the almost too much.
“You’re okay,” you breathed against Steve’s bristly cheek, pressing your face to his, trying to calm him–and his movements–in this way since you couldn’t touch him with your hands pinned. “I'm right here with you.”
Grunting, Steve tucked his face against the crook of your neck, his thrusts no longer violent but seeking that blessed release all the same.
He found it moments later, cumming inside of you with a quiet groan, his hips jerking against you–his cock twitching and flooding your pussy with his warm, sticky cum before he sagged against you, spent and panting against your skin.
Ignoring the way your own body was still buzzing–and unsatisfied–you nuzzled against the side of Steve’s face, feeling the way his breath quickly evened out as he came down from his high.
His grip on your wrists suddenly fell away, his hand cupping the crown of your head instead as he eased some of his weight off of you and guiltily met your gaze, his own eyes much more aware now.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was rough since it didn’t get much use, and it made your insides flutter to hear it.
It also confirmed Steve’s knowing that what had just happened was…a lot.
“You don’t have to be sorry.”
Steve’s gaze flickered away from yours, but his thumb stroked along your temple as he muttered, “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” you reassured him quickly.
His eyes returned to you then, uncertain, apologetic. “Promise?”
You gave him a small smile and nod. “I promise.”
Releasing the breath he’d been holding, Steve eased flush against you once more. He nuzzled his nose against yours, his lips catching on your own in a gentle, unhurried kiss. After a moment, his lips retreated from yours, trailing over to your cheek to press a kiss there before descending to kiss along your jaw.
“You always bring me back from the darkness, from the wrongness inside of me,” he whispered against your skin, pressing a chain of kisses down the length of your throat.
He paused, resting his forehead against your shoulder as you gently rubbed his back.
“It’s so easy to get lost in there, but you…” he shuddered, breath hitching before he continued, “You always help me find my way back, back to the light. Thank you.”
He said it with so much emotion that your own eyes welled with tears and you hugged him as tightly as you could in this position.
Steve murmured another, “Thank you,” as he continued to press kisses along your throat, across the top of your chest.
He only paused to tug your sleep shirt up and off your body. Making quick work of your panties too before he shifted lower and peppered your chest, then belly with more kisses.
You squirmed as Steve hovered over your mound, his thumbs gently stroking along the creases of your thighs before he ducked low and kissed your clit.
Sinking back against the mattress with a gasp, you blindly reached for him, your fingers digging into the soft strands of Steve’s hair as he tugged your folds apart and slowly licked up the cut of you.
Your loud moan only encouraged him, and soon he was eating your cunt in a way that was less about devouring and more about devotion. His lips and tongue worked in partnership to drive you over the edge you’d been teetering on since earlier, and you came with a soft cry of relief as pleasure flooded through your body and you writhed and rutted against Steve’s talented mouth.
You were still dazed as he shifted back up your body, settling between your thighs and guiding his hard cock to your still fluttering hole.
Sighing as he speared into you–much slower and more gentle than before–you clung to Steve’s broad shoulders as he sank flush against your body and began to fuck you with shallow, intentional ruts.
His lips returned to their earlier fervor, planting little seeds of worship against any plane of skin he could reach as his pace picked up and his hand slid down your belly so he could strum your clit.
You couldn’t stop sighing and gasping his name as he set your body alight from the inside out, and it wasn’t long at all before you toppled over the edge of bliss once more, entirely overwhelmed in the best way by Steve’s devotion to you.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against the shell of your ear, his body rocking against yours more fervently now as he chased his own release. “And all mine,” he husked on a groan as he came, pumping you full of his seed for the second time that night.
You felt like you were glowing and floating at the same time, your body blissfully boneless as you laid pinned beneath Steve, enduring another slower round of his kisses as he nuzzled along your sweaty skin and barnacled to you like he never wanted to let you go.
A smile tilted your lips as you felt Steve settle his cheek against your bare chest. Your fingers found their way to his hair, gently stroking as the two of you enjoyed the quiet aftermath of your lovemaking.
Your touch trailed down the nape of Steve’s neck, to his shoulders, rubbing away some of the tension that had gathered there as you murmured for him to, “Sleep, handsome. I’ll keep the nightmares away.”
There was a long moment of silence before Steve replied, his voice sounding almost small as he whispered, “Promise?”
“I promise,” you answered without hesitation, ruffling your fingers through Steve’s hair, then trailing your knuckles along his cheek.
You glanced down at him, seeing the hint of a sleepy smile curl his lips, and feeling your heart swell at the sight, then even more so as Steve released a shuddering exhale before sinking against you and resting at last.
I just 😭😭😭 love him and them so hard. My emotionssssss.
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