From Chapter 17: The Aftermath of Chaos is Just More Chaos (Edited to Leave Out Spoilers!)
When they passed, everything else faded away. Peter's whole body tensed and he couldn't breathe. He could hear their heartbeats, weak and staggering. That and their disturbingly still bodies sent flashes of memories swinging back and forth from the past to the present. Concrete and sirens. Bruises and cuts. Greying brown hair. Matted curls. The smell of death. Death. He jammed the heels of his hands into his eyes, praying to anything that would listen for it to stop. Pale. Bloody. Too much. It's too much. Not again. I can't do this again.
Peter let out a low whine from deep in his throat, the sound covered slightly by his labored panting. He dropped his hands and took a step, but that was the wrong decision, his shaking legs almost making him collapse to the floor. Once he moved, though, he couldn't stop.
"—," he croaked, fumbling forward. "—! Wait. No. Wait, please!"
The nurses didn't stop. The doors flew open, and they rushed him inside. Someone was calling his name.
"Wait! No, no, please! —. I have to see them, please. Wait!"
Strong warmth wrapped tightly around him and he tried to push it away, flailing his arms. "Let go! I can't-I have to see them. Let go of me!"
He could hear — talking to him quietly next to his ear, his voice soothing and calm but that only seemed to make Peter fight harder, despite the screaming numbness in his body. —was struggling to hold him, but he kept his feet firmly planted.
"I don't want to hurt you! Just let me go!"
"There's nothing we can do for now," — insisted, pulling Peter flush against his chest. "They are trained for this. They cannot do their work if you are in there. You have to let them go."
Peter felt a flash of anger so strong it scared him, but when it faded, the pain left behind was worse. He choked on a half sob, and the dam that had been shuddering for the last two months shattered, his whole body sagging boneless into —‘s arms. He could feel hot tears pouring down his face and he wanted the world to open up and swallow him whole. He wasn't scared of the darkness nor the emptiness. He just didn't want to feel anymore. He wanted to flip a switch and never feel this kind of pain ever again, even if it meant he couldn't feel the good either. He would do it without hesitation. But he couldn't. So he cried.
