Hi, firstly thank you for all the Rusty Quill things, and for making diversity and inclusivity normal in media. I am a voice coach, teaching ages 8-18, and have entirely accidentally fallen into the role of being the go to teacher in my area for pupils with various neurodivergences, which I love but also frequently have huge imposter syndrome about. Many of my pupils want to go into performing arts in the future, so my question (if it is not too personal) is what do you wish the relevant adults in your life had said or done at that age, or what did they do, to make things easier for you when you were starting out? What do you wish you had known? What would you say to your younger self?
Firstly good on you for being an educator and you should be proud of being a "go to" teacher that speaks to the quality of your character.
I will answer your question honestly. That means it probably won't be inspirational. I would advise sanitising my response for younger ears:
What help did adults give me: 1) I got help with the mechanics of setting up and maintaining a business and my finances. It's arcane, obtuse and unfair. EVERYONE needs this help. 2) I was encouraged not to overspecialise too early. I wanted to go into acting and was pressured not to. At the time it felt like a lack of faith in me but In retrospect it was the right decision and I now have a very broad academic foundation I can build from that has served me well. 3) I was afforded opportunities disproportionate to my age which granted me a big leg up. I got to direct shows very young, I got to lead international expeditions etc. That stuff forges you. 4) I was required to undergo neurodivergence screening at my Masters as standard procedure. It revealed I had stuff going on which explained all my difficulties and instantly transformed my career for the better. Every institution should do this. 5) I had some "go to" teachers who supported me and actually gave a shit about what I had to say. That kept me going more than they will ever know. 6) I got to act as a PA to highly competent female tech CEO. She turned down a major opportunity after she saw decision makers mistreat me. I learnt a HUGE amount from that woman and I will always be grateful to her. There is room for ethics in business. 7) When young I was forced to read. Learning to read was awful. Being able to read was transcendent. 8) I had access to libraries and and was allowed to study as much as I wanted on any topic I wanted in my own time. There was always a new book waiting for me at home. 9) I was educated on my privileges at a young age. 10) My education was treated as a priority.
What help did I wish I had got: 1) I wish my neurodivergence had been recognised and assisted properly earlier. I suffered unnecessarily and learned a lot of bad coping strategies that plague me to this day. 2) I graduated from school into what was then the worst job market in modern times. Most older adults didn't recognise this and were still telling everyone it was a skill issue. I needed those who knew better to speak up against that toxic narrative more. 3) I needed support once I left education. It felt like being forced to walk off a cliff and then everyone saying "Why aren't you flying? Don't be lazy or you'll hit the ground and die." You'd ask for help and there was nothing, or worse, people would gloat: "not so easy in the real world is it kiddo?" If you see someone pulling that shit on a child, call them up on it. 4) I wish someone had spent some time formally teaching me how to deal with hostile/selfish people. As a kid, I honestly thought the quality of one's life is primarily determined by how hard you work and that is just not true. Lazy, stupid and horrible people prosper all the time. I was very naïve and I suffered a lot because of it. 5) Similarly, I wish I'd had formal help networking. Even now I find it incredibly difficult. Someone needed to sit me down and say "No-one actually cares about you. The goal is to make as many people who are more successful than you like you and believe they can profit from you as possible without overcommitting or being disingenuous." 6) I needed someone to sit me down and explain that I don't have to sprint every second of every day for fear of "falling behind". I never learned how to maintain proper boundaries and I was so desperate to be understood that I let people take advantage of me and wasted a lot of time and effort on underserving people/projects.
What do you wish you had known? 1) Media attracts specific toxic personality types more than other industries. You need to learn to recognise it and how to deal with it. 2) People say "its not what you know, its who you know" but its more than that. The system is actively built to keep you out. Talent and hard work don't hurt but really? You will only get opportunities if someone thinks they can profit from you. Make yourself profitable to them whilst ensuring you get something from it too. 3) Hard skills are still perceived as more valuable than soft skills, especially when starting out. Learn EVERYTHING technical, that way you can always justify your presence on set. 4) Opportunity cost is an essential concept you have to understand and recognise. You suffer more from things you are overcommitted to than things you chose not to do. 5) People mostly (myself included) make decisions irrationally and based on a biased emotions and it doesn't matter how right you are, how reasonable or eloquently you explain yourself, how much evidence you present or how benevolently you act, they are going to keep doing that. 6) Everyone (even me) has half-baked opinions without realising it and most people giving you advice either don't know what they are talking about or want something from you. If you find someone who has an educated opinion and is offering good advice that is actually helping then listen, keep them in your life and reward their effort because they are RARE.
What would you say to your younger self? 1) What you want will come at a far higher cost than you can imagine. 2) You have so much more time than you think. 3) Working harder solves urgent problems but not important problems. 4) The quality of the people you surround yourself with determines the quality of your life. 5) You are different. That's not good or bad. It just is. 6) Some people will resent you. Make sure they are wrong without expecting them to recognise it. 7) NOONE HAS THEIR SHIT TOGETHER. EVER. Some people just present better.
Reading all this back it seems like a MASSIVE DOWNER so I'm sorry about that. I just remember being told a lot of "work hard and chase your dreams!" when what I needed to hear was "mass media is, in part, a patriarchal driven, semi-nationalist, capitalist, distributed propaganda engine and if you want to engage in it in a creative capacity without sacrificing your ethics you need to learn to subvert or circumnavigate that status quo without being ostracised or consumed by it."
You may want to soften that message for the 8 year olds. I dunno, your call.
