#carolineinhr

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Been a while.

Far too long. How’s life been treating you, Caroline human?

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I tried showing someone Suspiria this year. To his credit he gave it a go, after I explained that it was one of the wildest horror films to ever horror a film (and all that entails), but you can't really prepare someone for Suspiria. We stopped after the first fifteen minutes, but I'm confident that I'll find someone able and willing to watch it with me.

I mean, he did see the opening scene. That’s all that really counts in the end.

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caroline-in-hr replied to your post: So did you ever watch Bee and Jackie kiss?...

Stations of the Gloss, it was right there in front of you.

Five feet in front of my right pede, to be perfectly specific.

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“Agape, the purest form of love, derives its definition of love from being altruistic towards one’s partner and feeling love in the acts of doing so. The person is willing to endure difficulty that arises from the partner’s circumstance. It is based on an unbreakable commitment and an unconditional, selfless love, that is all giving. It is an undying love that is full of compassion and selflessness. Agape love is often referenced with religious meaning and is signified by the color orange.”

I know you hate religion, but there’s still something… ineffable, I think, between this and orange being your favorite color (and the color of Breakdown’s faceplate, and Impact’s paint). If that makes any sense. At any rate - it made me think of you.

Oh, I wouldn’t say that I hate religion as a whole. Religion is fascinating, some more than others. I didn’t even hate Primus until he gave me a reason to.

Altruistic, compassionate love and the color orange? It makes perfect sense to me.

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caroline-in-hr replied to your post: Well, if they weren't close like that, then why...

Simplify things. Bond with actual garbage. It’s a trash /can/, not a trash /can’t/.

I’m sure the political caste would be thrilled to hear you saying such positive things about their vows!

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Doctor, you're /sure/ Cybertron is less hospitable to humans than our planet? Because, at this point, I'm willing to take the risk. As are at least 60+ million others. ... Probably.

You’re sure you would’t rather just send your current handful of problem humans, conveniently forgetting to mention the whole “toxic atmosphere” angle?

It would save everyone the trouble of packing.

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How did you emotionally let go of Argentatus? Imagining it was more of a series of moments than a mere "I woke up one morning and it was all over"-type deal, but was there anything you actively did to accept it?

It was...a series of moments, yes. I can’t even say that I’m clear on where they first began...certainly before I up and confessed my feelings to him. I was so, so very sure I was being discrete about it, but in hindsight, I wasn’t -- and in hindsight, it was very obvious he knew. That being the case, it all came down to a series of lasts that felt like losing him. The last time we had a long, intensely draining session that left me sobbing static in his arms...the last time he tied me up. The last time we met up as anything more than friends. The last time he called me...

Well, never mind what he called me. 

He assured me I’d done nothing wrong, and if anything, he’d been the one to slip up in his responsibilities towards me. Swore he’d always be a friend to me and that I meant a great deal to him, which didn’t help in the slightest. Letting go of him involved long hours spent crying into the berth/floor, wondering where I’d failed, feeling utterly unlovable and worthless. If I’m being perfectly honest (which I’m electing to be because it’s you, Caroline human), I ultimately let go of Argentatus because I had no other choice.

The rest just came down to time, and the inevitable meshing of wounds.

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HOORAY FOR NOT BEING SMELY

HOORAY

I’M NOT SMELY

AND I HAVE MUSIC TO CELEBRATE THIS HOLIDAY