#carpenter street

[enjoycameralife]

20231004 - Kuching

my first visit back to Kuching since 2018. while the city has expanded and developed in the intervening years, the old part of the city remains as beautiful as ever.

[giffingthingsss]

You're not buying any of this are ya?

[spockvarietyhour]

T’Pol: Driving Instructor and Jonathan “I’ve piloted a starship how hard can this be?” Archer

[sshbpodcast]

Bottom Five Star Trek ENT Episodes

by Ames

Everyone’s allowed to admit they’re wrong sometimes, and your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By take back a lot of the credit we’ve given to Star Trek: Enterprise over the years. Guys, we’re sorry to say: it’s just not that good a show. And sure, there are a couple beacons of hope in the darkness, but as a full series it doesn’t capitalize on its merits nearly as often as it should, and the mixed messages can be frankly insulting.

From the terrible theme song, to the constant sexualization of T’Pol, to the strange characterization of its captain as just an angry angry man, to whatever the hell went horribly wrong with the third season, there’s a lot to turn your nose up at. So cringe along with us as we give the big thumbs down to the worst episodes of the show as you read along below and listen to our banter over on the podcast (jump to 1:32:58 for the series wrap) where guest star Liz provides some added flavor. It turns out we really didn’t have faith of the heart after all!

[images © CBS/Paramount]

“Bounty”: Caitlin While the A plot of this episode with the Tellarite bounty hunter is perfectly serviceable, it’s the B plot that warrants a place on this list. For no goddamn reason, T’Pol is going through pon farr, a plot device we’ve been railing against for years. Okay, there was a reason after all: to sexually exploit T’Pol as this show is wont to do as much as it can get away with. It’s just disgusting how much Enterprise makes Jolene Blalock run around in her underwear just to titillate the teenage boys they really wanted to appeal to.

“Carpenter Street”: Jake What a waste of time. Literally! It may not have specifically made our worst time travel stories list, but it’s definitely pointless to force us to watch such a boring and convoluted romp around present-day Detroit to stop some Xindi from something or other. Really, anything in the Temporal Cold War arc is a hot mess. And combining that with the Xindi War makes it all the more baffling. Further, opting to bring T’Pol of all people back in time is a terrible decision, Archer. You’re lucky you have plot immunity, cap’n.

“Damage”: Chris “I’m about to step over a line, a line I thought I would never cross. And given the nature of our mission, it probably won’t be the last,” says Archer, nineteen episodes into season three. After he has not only crossed the line countless times, but shat on it and did a little jig. In the shit. So claiming that it’s not until he steals a warp coil from the Illyrians that he’s crossed the line is just blatant hypocrisy. Oh, and this is also the episode where we learn T’Pol is a drug addict for purely illogical reasons. What a shitshow.

“Harbinger”: Ames Oh hey, you know what was one of the previous horrible things Archer did before “Damage” but apparently didn’t count as “crossing the line”? Torturing a random sphere builder he found even though he had no proof this guy was bad. At fucking all. And there’s more shit to this episode! It’s got Reed being a big baby because he unfoundedly thinks Hayes wants his job. It’s got T’Pol being a big baby because she thinks Trip might like Amanda Cole instead of her. Everyone’s just a big baby this episode!

“Cogenitor”: Chris Frequently, Enterprise gets the ethical lesson you’d expect out of a Star Trek episode entirely backwards. This is one of those times. Trip spends the episode standing up for an oppressed person who has requested sanctuary, but Archer doesn’t want to risk the new best friendship he’s made with their people, so he throws Charles back to the wolves where they inevitably kill themself. And somehow Trip is supposed to be the baddie? Not Archer, who doesn’t even feel guilty? What message are we trying to send?

“Dear Doctor”: Ames Oh look, another time Enterprise puts its ethics on backwards and inside out. This utterly infuriating episode turns Archer and Phlox into genocidal monsters who then pat themselves on the back afterwards for handling the situation so diplomatically. Phlox should be ashamed of himself for being a doctor who spreads misinformation about how evolution works, and when Archer tries to question him, convinces the captain of his deplorably bad science. He HAS the cure, and refuses to save an entire race. It’s vomit inducing.

“Broken Bow”: Caitlin The whole series starts off on the wrong foot with a pilot episode that’s just a hot mess. The plot is almost unfollowable because there are just so many elements to keep track of. None of them interesting. In the very first few scenes alone: the time travel nonsense is just confounding; with maybe the exception of Trip, none of the characters holds our attention; and when we’re not confused by whatever’s going on, we’re just bored, which is a huge sin for a series premiere.

“Precious Cargo”: Caitlin, Jake We start seeing some overlap from your hosts in the episodes that are truly truly terrible. This disgusting retread of “The Perfect Mate,” which was disgusting enough on its own, is further tainted by some really shoddy acting from our First Monarch, a laughable portrayal of Archer and T’Pol incompetently playing good cop / bad cop, and a romance subplot so forced that we couldn’t even enjoy watching two very pretty people going to town on each other because we were rolling our eyes too hard!

“Hatchery”: Ames, Caitlin Don’t worry, we have more bad ethics the show is spouting to go through before the end of this list! For a hot second, it seems like Archer is doing the right thing and trying to save Insectoid hatchlings because it’s the moral thing to do, even in war, and everyone else is wrong to mutiny against him. But we should not have had that level of faith in this show. Instead, Archer’s mind has been manipulated by some goo or other, of course! He was wrong to want to save innocent babies! And he’s the hero of this show, FFS.

“These Are the Voyages…”: Caitlin, Chris, Jake The taste the show leaves in your mouth, when all is said and done, is whatever Chef Riker cooked up in the unexpected series finale. Making the last episode a de facto TNG episode is the wrong choice, as it strips away the ownership of the show from the actual characters as if punishing them for being bad. In fact, they don’t even technically appear in the finale at all because they’re a program on the holodeck! And to kill off Trip – the fan favorite character! – so unceremoniously! Did they hate their own fans?

“Fusion”: Ames, Chris, Jake Like Deanna Troi and Seven of Nine before her, T’Pol gets to get violated for the sake of an episode – and a bad episode at that! We’re already pretty sick of watching the women characters have their agency stripped away all the time because the story tells them so. So to watch the usually strong-willed science officer forced out of her comfort zone and used as a plaything by the worst Vulcan we’ve met (redemption for Vorik, I guess?) is just torture to watch. And the asshole sees no consequences either! Ugh!

“Bound”: Ames, Chris, Jake Like in DS9’s “Profit and Lace,” an attempt to seem progressive backfires so abysmally that we’re appalled by its tone deafness. It’s okay that Orion women are enslaved as sex workers because they’re secretly in charge! The episode treats that perplexing retcon like it’s female empowerment, while simultaneously turning all the men into drooling idiots whenever a woman is around. And unlike TAS’s “The Lorelei Signal,” the women crew members don’t even take charge. Trip does! What a slap in the tits.

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See also: our Top Five Star Trek Enterprise Episodes list. And if you want more: here’re all the past seasonal tops and bottoms from seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4!

Well folks, it’s been a long road, but we’re finally done with Enterprise. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to move on to anything but this, even if that means slogging through the Abramsverse and the streaming era. But at least those shows reward war crimes slightly less. So keep your ears on SoundCloud or whatever podcast platform you like, talk to us through our universal translator on Facebook and Twitter, and go where your heart will take you!

[agent-troi]

omg the guy in carpenter street was also the insane hologram from voyager rewatches are fun i’m spotting so many different people

[starplusfourletters]

TOS: Time travels to 1980s San Francisco TNG: Time travels to 1800s San Francisco DS9: Time travels to 2020s San Francisco VGR: Time travels to 1990s LA (thin ice imho) ENT: Time travels to 2004 Detroit. Need I say more

[project-star-trek]

T’Pol in a trench coat 🙌🏻

[nzvalley]

Rewatching some Star Trek: Enterprise

3x11 - Carpenter Street

Another timey-wimey episode that focuses on Archer and T’Pol. This episode might not be as good as “Twilight,” but it’s definitely more fun to watch. They travel back to 2004 Detroit, just the two of them. There’s nothing overtly romantic, but it’s always fun to see their dynamic in isolation. I love time travel plots generally too, so I’m always up for an episode like this.

The opening scene is great. It starts in present day, on a road with contemporary cars. Because we watch so many other shows that have scenes like this, it takes the audience a moment to remember that this sort of scene is unusual for Star Trek. Loomis, played by Leland Orser, could be a character out of CSI or SVU. When he is surveilling the prostitutes, he could be a serial killer. When he chooses one, there’s such a sense of dread. The full reveal of the plan and his time-traveling, extraterrestrial masters is unsettling and creepy. Orser puts in a great performance, reminiscent of his lust character in Se7en.

This episode also is the return of the Temporal Cold War, which I always enjoyed. I even enjoy Daniels. The Temporal Cold war should have been given more episodes to fully engage with it and explain it. The biggest issue in this scene is the continuity snarl that resulted from the huge changes to the show demanded by the network.

Daniels sounds like the writers pleading for help.

Daniels: None of this was supposed to happen!

After a visit from Daniels, Archer heads to T’Pol’s quarters for a meeting. Archer can only take one person with him, and he chooses T’Pol.  

Archer: I think all your doubts about time travel are about to go out the window.

Conveniently this is not a night when Trip is there getting an intimate rubdown, which allows the writers to literally never have Archer confront onscreen the brewing romance between his closest confidantes.

Porthos quickly invites himself into T’Pols’ room and makes himself comfy.

We get more of T’Pol out of her uniform, this time in a trench coat. Love her idea of clothes that “won’t stand out,” but Jolene Blalock will stand out anytime, anywhere, and in anything!

The moment they walk into 2004 from Enterprise is hysterical. T’Pol’s continued skepticism in the face of actually traveling years and light years is adorable.

I can’t express how much I love these two bombing around the early 2000s, nor how much more I wish we could have had. 

The scene of them looking for a car to steal is another funny one. First they have to pass on all the ones that have “a motion-activated security system.” When Archer finally finds one without that, T’Pol sees the boot that has been put on the car for parking violations. Then a guard dog!

Finally Archer and T’Pol can steal a car, but then they have to muddle through learning how to drive. And deal with early 2000s radio. Eventually they go looking for their guy.

T’Pol: Turn starboard on 24th street.”

Our duo has to learn about gas... and money. They break into an ATM.

Archer: People used to go to jail for this.

Message! Oh, and set the date for when humans start to wake up.

T’Pol: Were they aware at this time that Earth’s supply of fossil fuels was nearing depletion?” Archer: They had been for 30 years… but it wasn’t until 2061 that they finally-“

Archer and T’Pol find the Xindi life signs and the site of the Xindi experiments. They see Loomis bringing the next victim, then follow him back to his apartment. He runs when Archer knocks, and T’Pol has to give him a neck pinch. 

T’Pol seems to have a real distaste for Loomis. Which makes sense, since he’s a sleazy little lecher.

Archer volunteers himself as the next victim, to T’Pol’s seeming alarm.

They take the guy to a fast food place and we have a drive-thru scene. It’s glorious. The bewilderment on Archer’s face, and the pure judgement on T’Pol’s as they deal with Loomis’ eating habits and the constant upselling from the clerk. And the next scene when Loomis is chomping down on the burger, bits of it flying onto T’Pol… whew.  His life was in danger!

Archer gets a giant needle in the freaking neck! In his jugular? And he has to take it without flinching.

The horror on T’Pol’s face when Loomis starts smoking! The trope of having to deal with the primitive humans from the 20th/21st century is a fave.

The episode has a nice resolution where they manage to take out the Reptilians, stop the bioweapon they’re constructing, and even get Loomis’ disgusting self some punishment. But really it’s the journey that matters.

We get a nice tag where we learn that the entire trip was instantaneous for those on Enterprise. Trip thinks they just left when they’re returning.

Loomis: Those creatures! The lizard people, they’re around here somewhere, you’ve gotta find them! Be careful, they’ve got ray guns.

Screencaps from https://ent.trekcore.com/episodes/season3/3x11/