#cas feels

[finaledenialist]

castiel basically said: if i take control over heaven, which has always had control over me, i will, by implication, take control over myself and my own life

[sourtimesmachine]

for day seventeen: autumn invading

autumn invading

canonverse (season 14), <1k

The earth was damp beneath his feet, and Cas could smell smoke carried cold on the wind.

“Gonna freeze out here before they’re done,” Dean said, rubbing his hands together to stave off the chill. Cas could help with that, his own fingers clasped at his sides, but he just nodded toward the field where the others were dispersed among the vines and pumpkins. Jack had wandered to the far edge to prod at a particularly large one, and Sam was holding up an oddly shaped gourd for Mary to examine. Even in the setting sun, her laughter sounded bright as the red and gold leaves rustling through the trees behind them.

When she had suggested a festive Halloween as a chance to celebrate Jack’s recent resurrection, her sons had looked at Mary like she was mad. But seeing Jack’s face light up with thoughts of movies and treats, watching them laughing here in the fresh air, alive, Cas knew she was right.

“It’s not their fault you got the best one first,” he said, gesturing to the perfectly round and unblemished pumpkin that Dean had, despite his initial protests, enthusiastically claimed within minutes of their arrival. “If I’m to understand the jack-o-lantern ceremony correctly, the vessel requires careful consideration.”

“Then why’d you pick that funky thing?”

Resting beside Dean’s, Cas’s pumpkin looked especially misshapen and small, with a deep scar running from the base and bumps all across the top. He crossed his arms protectively.

“I didn’t think anyone else would.”

Dean rolled his eyes, but smiled as he looked back out to the others. “Remind me to never bring you to an animal shelter.”

The air was growing crisper, the tip of Dean’s nose was pink with it. Cas could help with that too.

But he just took a breath, felt the cold moving deep in his lungs. Looking away Cas saw how the leaves curled dead on the ground, smelled the sweet rot of a few unlucky gourds and the smoke still drifting from somewhere beyond the trees. The chill in his lungs was creeping deeper, into his bones, his hands.

Jack waved at them and pointed to his pumpkin, so large that Sam could hardly get his arms around it and Dean chuckled as he watched his brother struggle, their son’s attempts to help just pushing the whole thing off balance. 

This was it, Cas knew. The reason. 

He’d traded his life for Jack’s so he could smile in a field on a chilly autumn day, so Dean could stand among the leaves and feel peace. Cas would curl as they fell and drift with the smoke but his family would carve pumpkins and light candles inside.

A weight moved over his shoulder, Dean’s hand smoothing the tense lines. 

The movement drew his eyes to Dean’s and he looked like he wanted to say something, the weary lines of Cas’s back echoed and traced between his brows. Dean’s thumb was cold against his collarbone, and Cas could help with that except the chill was in his hands and the sun was behind the trees.

For a long moment they were quiet, the sounds of the others rolling Jack’s pumpkin through crunching leaves breaking gently through the stillness between them.

“Cider or cocoa?” Dean finally said.

“What?”

“When we get home. Should we make cider or cocoa to warm everyone up.”

His eyes were bright, the amber of the trees scattering across green. It was a warm color, and Cas was scared to keep looking. He was scared to do anything, now, that could burn.

But he brought his hand up to cover Dean’s. “Both, I think. We’re very cold after all.”

Light and sweet in the chilled evening air, a slow smile spread across Dean’s face. He nodded and smoothed his thumb beneath Cas’s hand before looking back to their family.

The smell of smoke grew closer, carried cold over the trees.

[galaxythreads]

"evaporate" for the drabble prompt

“Isn’t it funny?” Cas murmurs. 

Dean looks up at him from the gun he’s cleaning, confused. The angel’s head is tilted as he stares miserably at the cup of water placed before him, an ice pack pressed to the side of his head.

Having been down this road with varying degrees of coherency since Cas got his head banged an hour ago. The angel reassured them he’d be fine, but the battle took a large chunk of his strength, and now he’s waiting for his grace to replenish itself. The concussion isn’t serious, Dean doesn’t think, but it does look painful.

“What’s funny?” Dean submits with a sigh.

Cas continues to stare at the water, his expression pinched. “Dean?” he says, softer.

Dean makes a noise in his throat of question, looking down the gun barrel. 

“Grace is like water.” Cas says at length.

What? How? 

“It’s not something that’s stable. You don’t always have it. You have to keep replenishing it. Or else it...” he gestures toward the water, “it does what water does.”

Dean blinks. “Yeah, sure, buddy.”

Cas’s eyes close and he sighs softly, adjusting his ice pack. “I’m sorry I let the vampire get the best of me. I hadn’t thought to keep my grace at full l strength.”

Dean does look up at that, then sets down the gun as he sees how miserable Cas is. With a sigh of resignation, he leans forward on the other side of the table, tapping the angel’s arm. “You idiot,” he chides, “that wasn’t your fault. Don’t pretend it was. We’re just glad you’re going to be okay. That’s all that matters to us.”

Cas doesn’t open his eyes, but his expression flinches with an edge of pain. 

And Dean gets the sinking feeling in his stomach that Cas doesn’t believe him.

That Cas thinks they only worry about him on occasion, instead of thinking of him all the time. That he and Sam’s care is like that water glass on the table. The water goes away. Maybe Cas thinks that about them. That they’re like that water. Their desire to keep him safe is not limitless. Eventually they’re going to stop caring, so he should just stop hoping that they will.

“Cas.” Dean says quietly.

But Cas doesn’t say anything, and only smiles bitterly, like he knows exactly what Dean just realized. 

[caserol]

“I suppose I can stay one more day...”

[my--supernatural-romance]

Welcome to the 14th edition of my Recommendation list for Cas!girls.

Check my Masterlist

Hello, fellow Cas trash pals. It’s been a loooong time since I posted a list. January 16th to be exact, my birthday. I moved cities and I’m not around here as much as I used to, but in light of the recent events regarding our baby. I’ve been crying to the slightest provocation since Thursday, so I felt the need to post a new list to raise our spirits a little bit, tho JiBCon already did a lot of that. This list will be loaded of fluff and sweet love to our angel. I haven’t been reading a lot of fics lately, but I had these on my waiting list to be posted a for a while now, so I hope you enjoy them anyway.

Here we go.

Note: The summary of the fics are in italics. Some of them are written by their authors, and some others are written/modified by me. All the series start on chapter one, except if they have their own masterpage. The text written after this “–” hyphen are just my lame ass comments. If for any reason you want your username and/or fic to be removed from this list or you wish not to be tagged, just hit me a message and I’ll erase it/untag/stop tagging you, whatever you preffer..

* Users that tumblr didn’t let me tag are marked with an asterisk.

One shots

Fluff

It gets worse by @thran-duils. Cas remembers Anna’s words as he falls in love.

Spin the bottle by @immostlyconfused. Highschool AU. You and Cas go to a party and have to play spin the bottle.

Lovesick by @spnfanficskatoli. You take care of Cas while he’s sick.

Kiss cam by @splendidcas.  You win 2 tickets to a basketball game of your favorite team, and Cas goes with you. What happens when the kiss cam lands on the two of you?

Sana sana by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord. You get hurst and Cas tries to help by repeating a saying you heard a lot while growing up. --This is great ‘cause I’m Mexican as well and this was everyday life while growing up.

I ship us by @splendidcas.  You and Cas are both high school teachers, and your feelings for one another are obvious to everyone else–especially your students–except the two of you.

Ho, hey by @splendidcas.  You overhear your boyfriend Cas saying that he doesn’t feel like he belongs, so you do everything you can to show him just how wrong he is.

Need: Reedux by @webcricket​. Explicit fluff.

Smut

Good boy by @splendidcas.  Castiel hasn’t been a very good boy and there’s gonna be some consequences from you.

Wrong potion by @not-so-natural-spn.  Reader accidentally takes lust potion, which makes her usual cravings for Cas so much more intense. But, thanks god she and Cas are dating, so he can help her with her little problem.

Titanium by @kittenofdoomage*. The reader has some piercings. Cas isn’t exactly experienced in the ways of the world. He just never expected the addition of a metal stud in her tongue to be so... effective.

Was it heavenly? by @kas-not-cas. Sam and Dean find you and Cas in a compromising position and they won’t stop teasing.

How thankful I am by @not-so-natural-spn. You and Cas get stuck in al elevator after you had a fight.

Playing games by @thran-duils.  Reader is getting a little frisky with Cas at the end of a hunt.

I’ve always wanted you by @deanscolette. Sam and Dean are gone, so you and Cas are alone.

The first date Pt. 1 (fluff) & Pt. 2 (smut) by @saxxxology. You and Cas go to your first date together.

Humanity over heaven by @supernaturally-writing.  When the reader is injured on a hunt, an MIA Castiel returns to save her life.

Be still & Your turn, Y/N by @winchesterfiesta.  It all starts when the reader is sharing a motel bed with Dean when Castiel (her boyfriend) decides to make an appearance.

Series

Strictly professional by @splendidcas​.  You’ve been Misha’s publicist and personal assistant for the past two years, and despite being in love with him, you have a strictly professional relationship with him. At least that’s what you tell yourself.

Imagines/Drabbles

Imagine spending a day alone in the bunker with Cas by @yukihime713 (fluff)

Even more fluffy romantic Castiel headcanons… by @webcricket​ (fluff loaded)

Sex with Castiel would consist of by @supernaturalizcool​

Misha

Mr. Phone by @wayward-mirage. (fluff) You have a secret admirer.

The priest and the nun by @soberrnatural​.  Reader bumps into Misha at a Halloween fraternity party, and it’s only a coincidence that they’re both dressed as a pair - a priest and a nun. After being dragged into a game of truth or dare, things get a little heated.

You prmised! by @mysteriouslyme81. (fluff)

Destiel

Unfold your love by Lynx22281 (if anybody knows what her username on tumblr is, let me know!).  This is the story of how a cop and an ER doc meet and fall in love. --I so very much dig this.

12.12 coda by @ozonecologne​. 

The end of the world by @castielsunshinegrace​. 12x10 coda

Dean and Castiel making eye contact over Sam’s shoulder in the 12.09 hug. by @ozonecologne​

12x09 coda by @cardinalwrites​

This is it for now, folks! I hope to be back sooner next time.

If you want to be tagged from now on, send me a message, so I can make a Cas trash list to add here next times.

Reblog it, like it, send it to your friends, your teachers and your grandma, so we can all inhabit the same trashcan, and more importantly, send your love to the authors aaaaaand enjoy!

Check my Castiel playlist.

Cas trash list: @whats-the-matter-with-y0u

[the-geeky-fangirl]

Oh my god Misha just posted this and can I juST FANGIRL OVER HOW FUCKING CUTE THIS IS. GREAT NOW I HAVE MEGSTIEL FEELS!!!!!

[finaledenialist]

Dean always knew there was something special about Cas. He might have fallen for him when he said "We make it up as we go", but by then Cas was already 'his' Cas. Before he rebelled, he actually tried to help only once and then just make things less awful few times before. He turned his back on Dean way more times then supported him, and yet, Dean never stopped trying to get through to him. Never stopped asking for help, truly believing that Cas might say "I'll help you" this time around. <333

Yes but I think it’s a little more complicated than that? Essentially, that angel that said ‘the moment Castiel laid a hand on you in hell he was lost’ got it right - what he did, saving a soul from hell, created a bond and started changing him so deeply that even he didn’t understand it at first, right? In seasons 6-7a he literally has a phase where he rebels against everything like there is some kind of riot going on inside him and the only way to let it out is to go on a murder spree and do everything, even teaming up with a demon to gain so much strength that would allow him to become the New God. 

It’s like. I don’t know. Like he was trying, unconsciously, to overcompensate for all the years he was under someone else’s control? To break free? And he decides that to be truly free from Heaven, God -  he has to become God. Something about regaining control over his own life that resulted in him gaining control over the whole world. Something about wanting to take his life into his own hands so badly that the means completely justified the ends in his mind. Teaming up with Crowley? Sucking up all the souls from purgatory? Risking letting out the Leviathans? Cas said: yeah screw it, no one is going to be above me ever again, even if it was unconsciously - he was like: you need the new god, i am going to rule now, i am the boss; while this is what he really meant: i need a new god and it’s gonna be me, i am going to be my own god now, i am going to be the one in charge (of my life).

I think why he did what he did is because he still didn’t know how to be selfish and was starting to discover himself so he did what he understood. To paraphrase: he draped himself in the flag of heaven when ultimately it was about freeing himself, even if he wasn’t able to admit it to himself (not even out of pride, I actually think he might have not been able to understand why exactly is he doing what he is doing. I mean we have therapists for that and we’re humans, imagine breaking free and beginning to having a sense of self after thousands of years spent on believing that ‘I am just a tool, I am a soldier, I was made to serve’). Castiel’s waking conscious said: if I destroy this whole world while freeing myself, so be it, because freedom is everything. And this blew up right into his face of course but this whole arc was important because when he comes back later in 7x17 he is changed. Something is deeply, deeply changed. That wrath is no longer in him, even when he regains his memory. 

Because when he does he is suddenly a pacifist. I don’t fight anymore. I observe. I don’t want to fight. No. Like all he has done while on this furious crusade is catching up to him. And he is suddenly on the very other side of the spectrum than before. There is fear (of himself, of freedom) and guilt; that guilt later leads up to him deciding he’d rather stay in purgatory. I think I am putting this into words the wrong way and there is some amazing meta writer out there who could explain what I mean way better. But that is what I think. Not to be a bitter Cas stan on main but um, I think, that reducing his journey only to Dean is... Maybe not wrong. But it’s incorrect.

So was that really turning his back on Dean? In The Man Who Would Be KIng (*chief’s kiss*) we get fantastic insight into Cas’ mind - how the only thing that kept him conflicted about all that he was doing, was Dean. But for the first time ever he chose himself and he was going to do it ‘go big or go home’ way. He was freeing himself, no way he is going to let that small human get in the way. No, nope, couldn’t be me. So he pushed himself harder. He cut Dean off. And he felt bad about it but he was fighting for himself, with himself and within himself. 

And when that fight ended, when he once again freed himself from Naomi in s8 he ultimately decided that he is, in fact, going to devote himself again. Because that is what he was made to choose to do. He chose to devote himself to Dean, who became his anchor throughout the years. 

And Dean, oblivious to all that, knew that he wanted this ‘dorky guy’ to be around him and that he felt more himself than ever with him and that he made him happy. So he kept ‘needing him’ but that is something for another post.

[spiritclusters]

Does anyone else want to just sit Cas down and ask him to explain some jokes to you in Enochican so he has someone else to laugh about them with?