The gathering was crowded with hunters and you wove your way through with Cas beside you, trying to find Sam and Dean who you knew most likely beat you there. You felt many eyes on you as you passed from room to room and Cas was tense beside you. Finally, you glanced over at him and he had a scowl plastered on his face. It was so intimidating you almost laughed. "Cas—why are you glowering at everyone?" you asked him in a low whisper. Your hand landed on his sleeve and for a moment it froze him so completely he couldn't answer.
"I don't like how they're all looking at you," he said when he regained himself.
You laughed lightly and nodded. "Yeah, well, it's not common to see a female hunter," you pointed out.
Cas shook his head. "No. It's not just that."
You looked back at him, one eyebrow quirked up in surprise. "Well, what is it then?"
"Some of them have... ideas," he growled in a low voice. "They're... imagining things."
Your mouth dropped open. "Can you see that somehow? With your angel mojo?" you asked, flushing. "You didn't tell me you had mind reading capabilities! I'll have to be more careful around you!"
Cas let out a huff. "No, I can't see it. But I can tell."
"Oh," you laughed. "Well... I have an idea. They can look and imagine all they want, but," you grabbed his hand and laced your fingers between his. He looked down at it in surprise. He felt suddenly warm. "—for all they know, I'm taken. C'mon. Let's find Sam and Dean."
And that was the end of it.
Prompt: "I don't like how they're looking at you."
Hey feeling sad right now, im dealing with some trauma involving SA i really need some comfort fics right now if that’s ok? Maybe sam or cas?
i’m sorry. i’ve been there, and that’s something really hard to deal with. i hope this tiny drabble can lift your spirits a little :)
Pairing: Castiel x Reader
I took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. The library was all warm light and soft music, so I decided to curl up on a chair and spend some time with myself.
Some days were harder than others, and today just had to be one of the harder ones.
I opened my eyes, taking my mug and sipping at my tea. I reached for the book I’d brought, finally feeling ready for a distraction. I was only a few pages in when footsteps came in.
I felt him staring at me as he came closer, and a small smile formed on my face.
“Hey, Cas,” I greeted, not yet looking up.
“Hello,” he replied after a beat.
I looked up to see him standing in front of me, a little awkward. He simply watched me, looking like he wanted to say something.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked.
He cleared his throat. “Sam and Dean… They said you were a little— Sad.”
“Just dealing with some personal stuff. No worries, Cas.”
“There are… some worries, actually.”
I sighed. “But you don’t need to worry. I’ll be fine.”
He furrowed his brow for a moment, then took the other arm chair and slid it towards me. He sat down, taking the book from my hands.
“Hey,” I objected. “I was reading that.”
He smiled softly, setting the book on the side table. He reached over, carefully taking one of my hands.
“I always worry about you,” he said quietly. “But, I think it’s more important that you know I will be here if your worries are too much for you. I can be a very good listener when I want to be.”
I smiled. “Thank you. I just don’t think talking about it will help right now.”
“Can I do anything else for you?”
I paused, thinking for a moment. He watched me with soft eyes, not letting my hand go. I knew he couldn’t actually read my mind, but it certainly felt like he did in that moment.
He moved from his seat, kneeling in front of me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I leaned in, holding him just as tight as my head rested against his.
I felt him sigh against me.
“Is this helping?”
I leaned back to see his face. He looked up at me with big, blue eyes.
Summary: After a long day at work, Y/N returns home to Cas, who’s waiting to make her feel better.
A/N: This is a submission for the 2022 SPN Christmas Bingo (@spnchristmasbingo)and fulfills Trope #19 in my 25 Days of Tropes series! I am determined to finally finish this trope list after several years of avoiding working on it. I hope you all enjoy.
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
25 Days of Tropes Masterlist
“What do you need?” he asked.
You shrugged under the blanket Cas had draped around you immediately after you’d curled up on the couch. “A new boss? More food? Quitting?” You sighed and leaned your head against his shoulder. “I don’t know, Cas. It was just a bad day, you know? I don’t know what exactly will make it feel better. I just want it to be over.”
Right now, everything and nothing sounded like the best solution ever to your horrible day. You were so exhausted that you could barely keep your eyes open on the drive home. Customers had been coming in droves, and none of them were even the slightest bit thankful for your help. Not even your boss had thanked you today, despite the fact that you’d gone above and beyond. The only thanks you’d gotten was an hour’s worth of overtime pay, but that was nothing compared to what you deserved after a day like today. Thankfully, Cas had dinner waiting when you arrived home, and now you could spend what little remaining energy you had on him.
Sighing again, you snuggled closer to him and cradled your bowl of soup between your thighs. He adjusted his arm and the blanket so that you were still kept warm as you moved, and you smiled a little. No matter how long you’d been together, his thoughtfulness never failed to make you feel a little giddy inside. Castiel had a way of making you feel special. The blanket he’d chosen was one of your favorites, as was the soup, and you knew that if you even mentioned it, he’d be able to pull one of your favorite desserts out of the kitchen. He probably even had one of your favorite movies on standby if you wanted to watch something together.
“It is over,” he reminded you, and you hummed in agreement. “And now we have the weekend together. We can sleep in tomorrow, and then we can do whatever we want.”
“Yes, we can.”
You smiled a little more. The two of you had been planning your Christmas weekend for almost a full year now. It was the first time either of you had been able to spend it away from the craziness of your families. It would just be the two of you in your little apartment, celebrating how far you’d come since this time last year. Grand ideas for vacations and friends-only parties had been tossed around, but eventually you’d settled on a quiet weekend at home. It was exactly what the two of you needed, especially after today.
You and Cas continued to eat your soup in silence, though the TV continued playing reruns in the background. He’d kept the volume low, mostly to fill the empty space, but you didn’t need it. Cas did, though, and anything that helped him stay in the moment while you were together was okay with you. You’d gotten used to the different tricks and techniques he used on a daily basis, and tuning out the TV was second nature by now.
Once your bowl was empty, you nudged him in the side with your elbow. He grumbled about you knocking his organs out of alignment, but you caught his playful smile out of the corner of your eye and smiled back.
“I’m glad you were off today. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been here…”
When you trailed off, your smile fading at the reminder of the terrible day you’d had at work, Cas nudged you back. You lifted your eyes just enough to meet his.
“You could’ve called me. You can always call me if you need me. I’ll always come, even if I have to reschedule a meeting or move a client to another day. You’re more important to me than any job,” he told you.
Your heart grew two sizes, if that was even possible, and you leaned into him a little bit more. He kissed the top of your head. You could’ve sworn that you fell in love with him a little more each day, and you had been for years now.
“Have I ever told you that I love you?” you asked as you snuggled against him.
Cas took the empty bowl from your lap and set it on the coffee table beside his. “I believe you have.”
“Well, I do.” You grabbed his hand before he could tuck it back under the blankets and began to play with his fingers. He watched you in silence, letting you fidget as you continued to warm up from the long walk from your car to the building. With holiday visitors taking up over half the spots, you’d had to park even farther away than usual.
You were starting to drift off to sleep in Cas’ arms when he shook you, then stood up from the couch. If you hadn’t caught yourself, you would’ve faceplanted on the cushion.
“Y/N, look!”
You squinted up at him for a moment and propped yourself up with one arm. Cas gestured toward the sliding glass door that led out onto your small balcony, and you blinked a few times to clear your blurry vision. He hadn’t shown this much enthusiasm since you’d arrived home, but you’d just assumed he’d tampered down his usual evening energy to help your night be more relaxing.
“What is it?” you yawned, blinking a few more times.
Still smiling, he carefully helped you to your feet and led you by the hand over to the windows. With the other hand, he pushed the curtains out of the way so you could see what had made him so excited.
Outside, fluffy white snowflakes had begun to fall. They fell steadily, gently covering each car and bush with a thick layer of white. Judging by what you could see from the floodlights on the sides of your building, it had already been snowing for a while now, but neither you nor Cas had noticed while you were wrapped up in each other.
The frigid cold had settled in days ago, leaving everyone with high expectations for a white Christmas, but no snow had fallen until now. Almost everyone had given up hope. You gripped Castiel’s arm with both hands, smiling wide as you watched the snow float down from the sky above. All thoughts of sleep were gone from your mind, instead replaced with ideas involving snowmen, hot chocolate, and a quiet breakfast beside the windows.
“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, and he nodded beside you. String lights twinkled on other apartment balconies and windows, creating a picturesque view from your fifth floor apartment.
You slid one hand down to lace your fingers with his. Cas hummed happily when you did, and you smiled a little bit more, looking up at him.
“Merry Christmas,” you told him.
He smiled back, then leaned down to kiss you sweetly. “Merry Christmas.”
Thank you for reading! <3
If you liked this story, please reblog! That is the best way to share your love for my work and to spread it so that other people can enjoy this story. If you would like to support me further, please consider supporting my writing by donating on Ko-fi, supporting me on Patreon, or commissioning a story of your own!
Information: Warnings and other information will be listed when you click into the fic. this is just a list and a simple description about said one. Enjoy what I've written!
⋆ Fics will be added here that are coming soon or when they have a schedule. So don't be shy to check up on here every now and again ⋆
Last updated: 2nd of January
♡ Kinktober Masterlists ♡
⋆
✾ 2023 Kinktober
: Total, 9 fics
✾ 2024 Kinktober
: Total, 10 fics
♡ Supernatural Fics ♡
⋆
Series
↳
✾ Playing Couple [Unfinished/Currently being updated]
[Dean and Cas are forced to play as a couple to undergo a job. But sooner than later, the job starts to go sideways and Dean's feeling towards the angel come forth]
⋆
One Shots
↳
✾ Warming Up
[Dean is left alone in the snow and calls upon an angel to warm him up]
✾ Desperation
[Dean gets hit my a mysterious pollen on one of their jobs. Cas is the only one with him and he knows what the pollen does. And the effects hit Dean before they're able to finish and head home]
✾ Destiel Valentine's Day Special
[Castiel has only heard of Valentine's Day from other humans on earth and would like to participate in this celebration with Dean]
♡ Marvel Fics ♡
⋆
One shots
↳
✾Memories
[Steve is worried that Bucky doesn't remember anything but he quickly finds out that the former soldier remembers more than he lets on]
✾ Bucky oneshot
[Bucky decides to wear something different]
♡ Assassin's Creed Fics ♡
⋆
Series
↳
✾ Having Earned More
[Haytham realizes that Shay hasn't been receiving the attention he needs and wants to make sure the former Assassin knows that he is wanted]
✾ Childlike Innocence [Unfinished]
[No older than sixteen, Haytham travels to America with Birch for business. It should be a new experience, something that Haytham should be able to explore out by himself and meet new people. But Birch wants him by his side and to learn of the things he does.
But all Haytham can think of is a boy around his age he met on the docks. A boy called Shay]
✾ Heart of the Sea {Shaytham Titanic Au}
Coming after Childlike Innocence
⋆
Oneshots
↳
✾ In The White Roses
[When Shay doesn't come after a couple of days, Haytham becomes extremely worried. More so than he usually would. And when he finds Shay, hurt and injured, he realizes there may be more than he is letting on]
✾Night of Christmas - Shaytham Christmas Special
[Christmas has rolled around and while Shay is out celebrating, Haytham is brooding. And it's on this night that Shay finds a little understanding on why Haytham doesn't enjoy this time of year]
✾ A New Day for the New Year - Shaytham New Years Special {Kind of a sequel to Night of Christmas}
[Having invited Shay to a New Years party because there's no one else he'd rather be with, he quickly realized they should have stayed home. He can't touch Shay or hold Shay like other couple under the fireworks. Too many eyes, too many people. But Shay makes it work.]
✾ A Fool's Life (Shaytham Fic)
[Shay has come back into Haytham's life after so long, only to send him away to search another artifact. All to push away feelings that aren't permitted in an age of his time. When the time comes that Haytham can express these thoughts he's had, would such a man like Haytham be able to admit them?]
♡ Cyberpunk 2077 Fics - Male!V ♡
⋆
Oneshots
↳
✾ Share Your Toys - SilverV
[V buys something interesting and Johnny isn't all too interested in playing along. All until everything becomes unbearable and he has to show V just how to use it correctly]
✾ Feeling Tense - SilverV
[Johnny realizes that V isn't feeling so good and wants to release some tension in those joints of his. Which is very out of character for a prick like himself.]
♡Fallout Fic - Male Sole Survivor ♡
⋆
Oneshots
↳
✾ A Damsel in Distress - Paladin Danse/Nate (Male Sole Survivor)
[A distress signal comes over the Cambridge Police Station radio that has Danse racing out of there quicker than he can think]
✾ Three Christmas Nights - Paladin Danse/Nate (Male Sole Survivor) Christmas Special
[Three different Christmas nights. Three different locations. Yet all that is on Nate's mind is one man he can't seem to get rid of]
Series
↳
✾ Pitch Black Dahlias - Paladin Danse/Nate (Male Sole Survivor)
[After the Institute is destroyed and Danse's true identity is revealed, he realizes he has nowhere to go but to stick by Nate. He's lost in a world that he now doesn't know high or nigh of and has to learn everything from the beginning.
And Nate just hopes that he can help in some way. And with a synth care package in hand, he takes Danse along with him without telling him whom they're helping]
Do not steal, plagiarize, translate, repost, or use my work in any way, shape or form
Could you write Castiel x a male reader who is not used to physical contact? But reader feels like he needs a hug from Castiel but he's afraid to ask him because he's had a crush on him for a while now and he doesn't know how Castiel would react to him asking for a hug. Thank you!
Of course I can write this, I’ll give it a try :) I apologize for taking long on your request.
An Angel's Touch
The pen in your hand gets lazily drawn all over the semi-blank piece of paper in front of you. The little doodles that’s scattered all over it are little wings, something that you have tattooed on your back.
When you were younger, your mother told you stories of the supernatural beings, one of them being angels. She had told you that there was one watching over you. So when you were of age, you spent hours in pain of a needle picking at your skin to reveal two wings covering most of your back.
Once you met Cas, you smiled at the thought of what your mother told you, of the angel watching over you. You had asked the blue-eyed angel about it and he replied with, “Your mother was right, and I’m the one that has been looking after you.”
Throughout the years and up until now, you had developed feelings for this angel. You managed to keep the feelings down, happy that no one has noticed them.
“I like the wings you have drawn.” His voice comes behind you as he looks over your shoulder. Whenever he pops up without announcing his presence, it doesn’t startle you anymore as you have grown to it. The brothers however, it still scares the shit out of them.
“Thanks,” you lean back in your seat as your hand started to become sore.
“Why have you drawn the wings?” He rests his chin on top of your head.
The both of you have grown close where physical contact hasn’t been of a hassle, but with you, you’re touch starved. You’re wanting more than just a lingering touch on the shoulder or the simple kiss on the cheek.
You’ve been wanting to give this angel a hug. It’s been your mission for a little while now. And after the hug mission, you’re planning to confess your feelings for him, if you don’t get caught up in the moment.
“I don’t know. It’s something that my body mindlessly does.”
Standing in front of the mirror, you hear Dean yell out your name. Coming out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand, you yell back at him, asking what he wants.
He comes out into the same hallway as you are to see you just wearing pajama pants. “Just wanted to say goodnight.”
“Dick.” You smile as you go back into the bathroom to spit the froth out and wipe your mouth.
When you’re back in your room, you sit at the end of your bed. You silently say Cas’ name, wanting him to come to see you now.
In an instant, the flutter of his wings filled the silence of your room. Your eyes adjusted to him standing in front of you with the lamp on your nightstand shining upon his body. “Is something wrong, (Y/N)?” He tilts his head a bit.
Can’t believe I’m gonna do this. “I, uh, I would like to have a hug. From you.” You watch your fingers play with the string of your pants.
In the corners of your eyes, you see him take steps forward. He moves his arms under yours to wrap them around your hips, yours going over his shoulders. His arms tighten around you. He feels your hand at the nape of his neck and your head rests against the side of his neck.
A minute later of the hug, you lean back to look back at his face. Your hands move to rest on his cheeks, his arms bringing you closer to his body. He lets you bring his face closer to yours to press your lips against his.
Backing away from the kiss, you tell him your feelings for him.
“I have feelings for you, too.” Nothing else is said.
For the rest of the night before you fell asleep, you and Cas were cuddling, talking and stealing kisses.
summery:Castiel has taken notice to the lack of food you consume these days
The Angel of Thursday hasn't been around but when he was he was very attentive to everyone's habits ,traits and routines.The minute he noticed something was wrong He'd analyze the situation to see if there was anything he could ,do if it was something he wasn't sure of he would research any and everything we possibly could to figure out what's wrong ,how could he help .is it a human thing? is it a curse? what is it.He did everything in his Angel power to keep his team happy healthy and safe .But that's when he started to notice that you were eating as much or as oftenYou would send out to where even Dean's clothes from years ago didn't fit,But you also weren't willing to go to a thrift shopto go get anything new.And that's when he knew something was really wrong6 months a year and a half Castiel is researching what to doThat's when it dawns on him with the problem really isevery article he had read every angel and even crowley had said not to just bring it up to ease into the topicTry to find a comfort foods that you would eatAnything to get a little sustenance in that body.So we didI found out your favorite food and instead of taking you out to dinner or some other corny gesture .He found a recipe The most homestyle version of it he couldAny spent hours making itWhen he had finally gotten up the courage after he finished making your meal to bring it into you and you just looked at sorrowful eyes. That's when he left at you and softly said"
it's okay no one's going to hurt you anymore you are beautiful The shape of your body and the numbers that are associated with it are nothing. They mean nothing to me to Dean to Sam not to Bobby not to CrowleyNot to Gabrielnone of us care about those numbers or the way you look you are a hunter you are our familyGod damn it I love you I'm not going to stand by and watch you purposely deteriorate at the body that is yours please eat something for me."
Cassie wasn't here when the worst thing that had happened to you and your times of hunting occurred was your first and only possession you've ever actually experienced from the other side That was right before the eating disorder started really.That demon had been in your mind It's seen all of your memories and everything it could ever have accessed And it knew how to get to you and you had to crush that mine and It picked and pulled it your weight by the way your hair said the way your clothes clung to your body or didn't.hip hop back memories of your mother and the father and siblings getting on you because you would slow the team downNo guy was ever going to want you looking like that.The demon wasn't even in you for 24 hoursbut it completely decimated your mind.When you finally told Cas about all of it.He looked like he wanted to punch somethingor better yet smite it.But he had known that Sam had already addressed the problem.Just nobody else saw the new problem.
He made sure he was there every day for at least one meal.He gave you The softest looks those blue eyes could manage.You'd eat slowly and surely Sam and Dean didn't question it Then Castiel made sureHe made sure you at least ate half your plateThat you had some vegetables in your day some sort of dairy product he make sure you throw your day everything was balanced.Maybe you little sticky notes around motel rooms when you guys would go out hunting He just pop in and leave you a snack or two and a spot the boys wouldn't find it a note under your pillow a note in your sock.Even one time he put one on the inside of a clean bra You beat him over the head with John Winchester journal that day next day but It was the thought that counted.
the angel of Thursday took care of you in a way you couldn't take care of yourself until you felt like you were back on the right path you didn't worry so much about what you were eating and how often.After a while You like had caught cas leaving muffins for you in the boys in a motel room and Before he could get out of the room you grabbed him by the trench coat kissed him softly on the cheek and said thank you.God made the perfect angel the day he made the angel of Thursday.Thank you Castiel.
Summary; Being empty inside is a natural description for both y/n and Castiel. They are the lesser of their kinds, despite fighting for their causes for so long. But that rendering sensation has helped bring them closure, for they understand each other in a way that nobody else can quite comprehend.
Warnings; minor angst, mention of death, little bit of fluff i guess, insecurities, being compared to others, frustration
The anatomy of a human was a strange thing to sight, but the feelings were just as confusing.
Each of the Winchesters were complex beings, even whilst being such small, insect like examples of existence.
When God had created them, he was proud, but Castiel was confused as to why that was.
He was a warrior of Heaven, he had seen great things in his blinding vision, and this, the experience of watching them, having to pretend to be so tender for his cause was confusing.
Dean was outright blunt; a part of the angel liked that about him. There was no cutting corners with the eldest sibling, and a part of him appreciated that.
Although, to tell the truth, admittedly the celestial being found it hard to read him.
He used things like ‘sarcasm’, as the primates had described it, often. And it bugged him to no end.
It was simply saying something with exaggerated efforts, whilst meaning another. It was a feature he couldn’t quite comprehend the importance or use of.
Then, there was Sam, the middle child, and the perfect vessel of Lucifer. It didn’t matter what happened to him in the long run, but for now it did, considering Dean’s ample rendering of how he needed him so.
There was no splitting apart the siblings, for they were one another’s life lines, as he had come to learn.
Somehow, and it amazed Castiel, all of Sam’s mistakes were cast aside, even at the most dire times. Their reluctance to give up on one another was downright noble, yet irritating all the same.
The youngest of the brothers was a hazard for the other; his inclination and addiction of drinking demon blood didn’t sway the counsel of the angels.
It only reminded them that their brother that was cast away, was to one day return in order to bring the world on its knees so that the apocalypse could overcome every obstacle on it.
And finally, there was the sister of the sibling trio. Y/n, and if Castiel speculated correctly, then she was the logically smartest out of them all.
Her attitude towards him was simple; she understood why he kept on his main course. There was no reason for him not to, he had never been taught differently, and he was doing nothing more than his duty.
If anything, he could sense a breath of pity filling the air anytime they were in each other’s company.
There were so many words that made reasonable sentences in her head, but she opted to remain silent, knowing that he preferred it that way.
He wasn’t at all there for her, his mission was to protect Dean, as proven whence he grasped him out of perdition.
That was no bother to her, it only made things awkward, as she would put it. Castiel, to his feathery luck never experienced such uncomfortable feelings.
But she still, no matter kept that human weakness about herself, foolishly embracing it as though it served any good against the dark forces squandering and escaping hell.
Again, her family was her purpose to fight, and admittedly, they knew as well as he did, that that factor would be each of their downfalls.
And as he sat in the motel room, awaiting their ambitious return, when the door swung open, it was the female alone. There was dirt smothering her face, and trapped in the cords of her hair, and Castiel frowned at the sight of her.
“Dammit!” She kicked the bedpost, gaining the utmost intrigue out of the angel.
Y/n was never one to be so blatant in expressing her frustrated emotions, but it appeared that tonight, something had happened, and irked her greatly.
It confused Cas, as Dean had dubbed him, as to why she was behaving that way, and so, he simply asked.
“Has something unwanted happened during the hunt that you went on with your brothers?”
It was a first, seeing her wearing a scowl aimed directly towards him, but eventually she sighed, and let her guarded expression fall down, and crumble at her feet.
“That’s one way to put it.” A somber sigh followed after her words, confirming her active annoyance, of which the angel assumed was not pardoning her siblings. “Dean was saying, or ‘simply giving me the idea’, of hitting the road, and missing this whole apocalypse business. He thinks I should live life a little before, in case he and Sam don’t manage to stop it.”
Castiel clasped his hands together, he had seen people do the same in chapels when praying, but he was not wishing to speak to his father, for he knew that there would be a lack of response.
It was instead a mannerism that the body that he was borrowing found comfort in doing, and so he was inclined to allow it follow its natural instincts.
“Have you ever thought that your brother has wanted a normal life for you? I think that was how he meant to come across, and you simply may never have another chance to experience such a way of living if things fail.”
The angel leant forward, watching as her brow furrowed with a signal of distress. Her mind was torn, stuck between two things; the desire to run and never look back on this life, and the other to remain, and fight beside her family, or at least what was left of it.
“Yeah, a normal life.” A humoured laugh slipped from her chapped and thirsty lips, her head nodding at the prospect. “I am sure that is why he taught me how to shoot a gun, and behead my first vampire.”
She sat alongside the angel, he was not sure why, but he thought she may have found comfort in being beside someone, even in his case it be a celestial, powerful force that was a warrior of the above. “Are your family the same; do they think that they know what is best for you?”
He wasn’t used to being asked questions, at home, as he knew it as, he was instructed. His opinions nor the thoughts in his mind were never up for discussion; if he stepped out of line, he would surely be compared to Lucifer. And that was a major insult, if not the worst for his kind.
“My father, wherever he is, has everything in an avid plan. There is a reason for everything; after all, he is the creator of all life, and each individual atom of it. We are all his children, from the plants to the great and ferocious creatures of the Sahara. It is no doubt that God knows best.”
Despite being intrigued by humans, this one in very particular, he was still loyal to his original course. No matter how swayed he felt, there was no absence in getting off track from it.
“But what if he doesn’t?”
In the form of it, it felt like an insult, but Castiel remained silent, allowing the lesser being woman to continue her speculator dialogue.
There was no harm in words, so long as it didn’t push down the belief of his father, or revealed that she was on the alternative side. “The Bible makes you out to be some great warriors, and I understand that the stories are written rom mankind’s scripture, however, if he is so holy and prosperous, he shouldn’t need his children to complete his bidding. With a snap of his transparent fingers, all the bad, anything that opposes him could be gone. So why isn’t that the route he takes to fix his troubles?”
It was a perspective that Castiel had never thought of before, and it raised some of his enquiries in his mind that had shrunken to fit into this form.
The creations, mortal or otherwise had so many flaws, and if he wanted, he could resolve the issues in a second, overwriting anything that he simply did not like.
And if done, and all was bent to his will, then the world would be a safer habitat, and there’d be no agenda in saving it, for it would not be necessary.
“Because there is no story to it.” Muttered the resident of heaven, bowing his head in shame. “And Dean would be wrong to send you away, for you have your own, and that choice in staying, or leaving is up to you. But if you pardoned yourself from this script, then you would not be around, and out of all of you Winchesters, I find your company the most calming and least irritating. If you were one of the vessels, I would then have much, if not more, faith in your succession. However, you are not, instead you are-”
“Empty inside.” Y/n finished his sentence, able to do so because she was well aware of her worth within the universe.
The impact that she was to have on it was never to be as large as Sam or Dean’s, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t in her best interests to make the planet a better place.
Hunting was practically all that she knew, and if that was ripped away from her, then she wouldn’t be sure what to do.
There would be no other purpose for her to live; many hunters felt the same, even if their reputations were slack and unknown.
It was the self knowledge of saving lives that served as the fuel to continue onwards, and it was the way of thousands within the unemployed business.
And most died within this life, such as her parents, and too many more. John, her father had been hellbent on finding a demon, with lustrous, dangerous yellow eyes.
But now, after his unfortunate end, and benevolent sacrifice, all that they had learnt from him and Bobby had been scrubbed clean.
They had been introduced to a new slate, one involving angelic asses, that thought it their right to boss the earthly primates around, giving them orders that were those sent by god.
But none of them knew how hard being a human was, there was no going back or turning time. All were stuck with the consequences of their rash choices, much like Lucifer, who wanted to be loved more than God’s latest project, but instead, in the rise of his destruction, was tossed aside.
To every villain, there was a reason for their change in heart. In some kind of messed up, collateral way, y/n understood the devil himself, even if she had yet to come face to face with him.
They were different, and that was okay, and Castiel was the same. He was crafted with a crack in his surface, and though he wanted to do good, he wasn’t quite sure which side served that purpose.
“Not empty.” The angel corrected her, seeing more than his brothers and sisters could in a simple human. “Rather, a haven from the chaos. The others of my family may narot be able to visualise your lack of use, in their fleeting eyes, but I happen to, very well. Whilst Sam and Dean do have a trait within your family to be both light and darkness, you are the grey between their two distinct colours. And whilst their prominence is famous, they are ignorant to all the shades that you emit. There is nothing wrong with being overlooked by an angel, instead, you should see it as an example of luck.”
“Do you overlook me, Castiel?”
Her head tilted, grasping onto every line that appeared sternly on his handsome face. They were side by side, and Castiel turned his head to be focused on her, it brought their expressions closer to one another’s naked eye.
Y/n was indeed grateful for all that he had done to help the survivors of her family, and his opinion of her, for some peculiar reason, mattered to her.
It was normal for the messengers to look down upon their stock of cattle, for they were superior in both the sights of the lord, and the mortals themselves.
And she would not be insulted if he did, for he was just another one of his kind; he was not supposed to feel anything towards her mistaken species.
Y/n knew far too well of the inclined penance that the angels were worth from humans, they had done bad by them, ruining hte home that god made for them, shaping it to die in their own pollution.
“Not at all.” And whilst his sentiment was not accompanied by a smile, or any indication at all that he wanted her to do so, y/n was too in touch with her natural motions, that she leant in and kissed Castiel.
He didn’t kiss her back, nor did he pull away, he remained still as she moved her mouth over his. “You do realise that this is not my body, do you not? I am dressed in the appearance of Jimmy Novak, we are very different and-”
“I meant to kiss you Cas, not some stranger.” Y/n informed him, upholding a sweet and innocent face. “You’re nice, for an angel. I think you were assigned to earth for more than angelic duties, I think you belong here.”
Castiel gulped at that. It was true, he was put on this vastly deficient planet due to his orders.
But he wasn’t quite following them all the way through; he was becoming rather attached to these humans, and that was why he could not let y/n leave.
It didn’t matter that his brother had suggested the idea to Dean, he was not going to allow her to depart from him.
She was the only thing that he had found in all of his eternal life that had made him prosper with the sensation for existing for more than fighting historical wars.
Before meeting her, he felt like some kind of manmade machine; empty inside, working only by the wires that were flowing with energy from a power source.
But he had found that he no longer needed that supply, for he was crafted for a figurative cause, but he had found another that he preffered.
The crack in being broke a little bit more, and he licked his thin lips, having a desire for y/n to kiss him again.
Instead, she shook her head, standing to watch out of the motel room window, and await the return of the two prominent vessels; Sam and Dean.
Sam wakes up to a sensation of closeness, warmth, and the unfamiliar feeling of fingers stroking his hair - a combination that would’ve lulled him back to sleep immediately, had a voice not interrupted his gentle reverie.
“Sam,” It’s Cas. Above, under and around him. A strange thing to think, but it feels correct. “Go back to sleep.”
Sam blinks, the haze of sleep fast fading.
“It’s still night.” Cas insists, and Sam can just about make out the indignance in his voice. Sleep-rumpled and bleary, it confuses him. “Four more hours, Sam, please. Go back to sleep.”
This time, his words actually register, and instinctively Sam cranes his neck to look at his alarm clock. It had taken a few months but they’d gotten used to not relying on a sunshiney wakeup call — living underground and all that. No suns knocking on your window and peeping through the drapes to confirm your resident angel’s claims, no sir.
But today, there’s no clock either. Just like there isn’t a bedside table.
Just like this isn’t Sam’s room.
“Dude!” Sam yelps, completely awake the second the shock settles in. (That's just the way it works.)
Wide-eyed, he takes in his surroundings - Cas’s trenchcoat slung over a chair, Cas’s chair, Cas’s chest of (mostly empty) drawers, and what can only be summarized as Cas’s room. And it’s an easy road from making that out, to making it to the source of Cas’s voice — Cas — above him, as earlier bizarrely suspected.
It’s an angle Sam’s never seen Cas from before - the little dimple in his chin as clear as the day-old stubble he wears eternally, black hair sticking out like it’s at war with itself as usual, and a minorly affronted frown tugging on the corners of his lips, wrong side up from where Sam's looking.
It’s — well, it’s kind of a nice angle.
Shit.
And maybe Sam isn’t completely up yet, because he finds himself distracted way too easily by the brand new perspective he gets of Cas’s wonky tie, and Cas's neck, and -
“Sam.” Cas repeats.
With a jolt, Sam’s up, heat rising in his cheeks as he finishes piecing the rest of the picture together. The hand in his hair, the warmth of his pillow, that feeling you get when you're being held, and the way he can see Cas’s Adam's apple bob when he speaks.
Holy shit.
He’d fallen asleep on Cas’s lap.
“C-Cas.” Sam stammers out, blushing furiously now.
Cas, inevitably, makes for a complete contrast to the way he feels right now — severely underdressed in his (still too large) white shirt, and perplexed instead of offended all of a sudden, with that little crease in his forehead that he gets. “I told you to go back to sleep.”
Sam’s eyes flit to Cas’s lap at the reference of sleep, where Cas’s trousers are rumpled - Sam’s fault, holy fuck - and his hand lies on the bed where, a minute ago, Sam had been. “Dude!” He flusters, eyes shooting up immediately, meeting Cas’s. “I can’t just go back to sleep on you! I -” Sam scrubs his face, heart still racing. “I don't even know how I ended up there!”
There’s a magazine in Cas’s hand - wait, that’s the Saturday Evening Post, isn’t it - and Cas immediately shifts all of his focus onto it.
There’s something wrong.
“Hey,” Sam swallows. “What is it? Cas?”
“Well,” Cas looks up. Thankfully it’s not going to take a lot to get the truth out of Cas, because that’s his confessional I-did-what-I-had-to-do look in his eyes. Used more than once professionally, yes, but never in context of just, you know, Cas and him. Them. “You fell asleep on the map table again.”
Cas lets out a reactionary sigh as Sam freezes. “But that's in the library -”
“I carried you here.”
Jesus, if he was blushing before. “You did what — ?”
“Sam,” Cas looks down at the page, and the back up, and maybe, just maybe, there’s some pink in his cheeks too. “We’ve had this conversation before. I’ve told you it’s not good for your spine -”
“- so you picked me up -”
“- and is one of the prime causes of your sleep deprivation -”
“- and carried me across the bunker -”
“- and you need to get more sleep, so I did what I thought best -”
“- and laid me back to sleep — what, with my head in your lap?” Sam finishes, chest heaving, in disbelief. Cas - he can’t just — goddammit, he can’t just pick Sam up, can he —
“Actually,” Cas licks his lips. “You did that yourself.”
“Well,” Sam’s already begun to say before he can run it through his head a couple billion times like he tends to do with sentences when its just him, and Cas, and the end of the world is not right there. “You were still the one playing with my hair!”
“I," Cas looks truly sheepish at that, and Sam regrets it instantly. “I’m sorry. I just — I thought -”
“Cas.” Sam interrupts, well and truly operating outside of his nervous system’s reach now. His brain sort of malfunctioned at the getting-picked-up-by-Cas part, and refused to really come back. Sam can't blame it - it’s a trainwreck over here. “I didn’t mean — not like that, okay? Don't be sorry. It was — nice.”
“You liked it?”
And the tinge of hope in his tone is all Sam needs to slammed in the face with a reminder of how goddamn smitten he is.
Before he knows it, he’s ducking his head, and rubbing the back of his neck, shy. “Y-yeah. Sure.” He chances a look at Cas again, and there’s a smile there now - full-blown, with the eye crinkles and the everything, and Sam’s insides flutter a little. Butterflies, or something pretending to be them. “People like it when — when other people do that.”
“I think the other people like it too.” Cas says simply. As if Sam’s senses had needed a further push away from coherence.
“Oh.”
Cas smiles again, it’s smaller this time. (God, Cas.)
“I mean, I —” Sam stammers. “I see.”
There’s a moment of silence - or even perhaps two, with Sam staring nervously, excitedly, awkwardly at the bedsheet, and Cas looking — god knows where, but it’s not at his damn animations, and it feels a lot like it’s at Sam, though he has no idea what to do with that.
At the end of it, Cas clears his throat.
“You still need sleep.”
“I just woke up,” Sam argues.
“Sam, I know how long you were asleep. I was there.” Sam flushes at his words. "Trust me, you need more.”
Sam can’t believe he’s actually considering it - but then, he can’t believe most of what’s happening right now, so figures, he reasons - but he finds himself asking, “What about you?”
“I don't need any.” Cas returns, tilting his head.
“I know that.” Sam’s eyes flit to Cas’s again. They twinkle back at him — so, so blue. “I meant, what about you now?”
“Well,” Cas’s eyes crinkle again, and something pulls in Sam’s heart. “If you don't mind, I think I’d like both of us to return to what we were doing.”
“Cas,” Sam says, soft, and that’s all the words he can think of.
And all the words he was looking for.
“I enjoy reading these, and you,” Cas goes on, his eyes back on the magazine, and they stay there for the rest of his sentence. “You have really soft hair.”
And maybe Sam imagines it, but his cheeks are a little pink again.
So Sam bows his head again and laughs, laughs till Cas joins in with that smile of his, and he scoots on the bed until he can be pressed up by Cas's side, their legs sprawled out in front of them, and Cas can resume whatever the hell he was doing that felt so friggin' good when Sam was asleep, and it’s adorable, and it's ridiculous, and it feels exactly like the kind of thing you remember forever.
