Ok I'm gonna give u all a breakdown of my cats.
Why?
Because they're freaks of nature, Susan, and we are men of science.
First specimen
The Hound (full legal name: Dudley Parsons)
Things of note
Approximately 25lbs of fuck u up at what was likely his least healthy point in life. a tank that was raised to believe it was a cat.
Banned from two municipalities for past offences.
Lived under an old lady's porch for ten years.
Took on four people and won. Twice.
Made a seasoned animal control veteran question their career choices
Has no teeth but so much saliva
Broken meow-box means he mostly croaks and can't purr.
Somewhere between 14 and 37 years old
Once tried to suplex a house appraiser
Scared of swiffers
Once had his mom tell a house appraiser he's scared of swiffers
Knows the sting of betrayal
Loves tube
