Gasping awake (or into reality) from a haze by the voice of her brother, jolting upright from the mossy ground. Dirt and leaf bits clinging to her hair all around as if having laid there for hours on end. Naked, in the cold of the early morning night. In the woods
Alone. Until now, of course.
"What ..?"
"Siru, fuck, finally we found you, mom was so worried - what are you doing out here? We've been looking for you all morning!"
What?
"Why are.. You here?" Siru slowly staggered to her feet, leaning onto his squishy frame. Lassi's ear twitched, and he gave a pause, raising his eyebrow. "What? I-we've been looking for you Siru.."
"But i-.. But y.." she stroked the peeking black stripe on his chest with shaky fingers,
Remembering the sensation of the knife, slowly digging and sinking into it. The skin tough, thick. Giving way like leather would. Something squishy and sticky about it,
"Are you okay?" Lassi looked up to her. He's always been smaller. He used to be much weaker, too. Little fat chick. So scared, so,
Full of organs, all fitting roomy in that thick body, now splurting out all plenty and soft. Wet. Pouring. Opening him like a sack of potatoes. Heavy, wet squelching sound as it all fell out of him, to the ground,
"Me?" Siru asked, exasperation making it's way out of her voice. Lassi seemed to stir at it (he's still careful around me).
"..." (sorry).
"C'mon let's.. Let's get you home now. It's okay.." he added awkwardly, after a pause. Before they could budge further together Siru grabbed his face (soft, tender baby face, now partly etched with more lines than years back) - "Are You okay? Lassi?" her voice holding some sense of urgency that seemed to freak him out even more. Why is this happening?
Why wasn't That Happening?
Carefully taking her hand by the wrist, glancing around nervously. "Siru, it'll be fine. I was.. Just worried. Mom said -.. Mom said you sometimes kinda go off in the night but.."
Oh, she told you that didn't she. Siru blinked. "But?"
"... Never mind." his eyes full of fear. They must be.
It must've happened. His flesh ought to remember the way it curled around the blade - his psyche being marked with the act of you trying to claw and reach for it - selfish. His organs must still be inside you, resting.
"It's how he'll come to yearn never to leave your side! It's how you'll transform your distant bond! Once sharing an umbilical cord now again flowing with the same blood together! Even better if your mother were also here-!" The voice of Pesticinger ringing in her ears - that's when Siru had interrupted it. Screamed. Please don't involve my mother in this. Please don't involve anyone. Don't let them see what I've become.
I'm losing my mind. Why can I wake up after all that like it was a dream?
Her claws digging into his shoulders, head slumping, foreheads bumping together as Siru heaved with dry sobs. Lassi, concerned, (frightened, surely) hugged her tightly hearing it. His body was hot - yours is cold. Like the corpse it's become. It's pulsing with life. Smells of sweat and the hint of that fancy chemical scent he likes to adorn himself in like a peacock. He's alive and he's here. Alive.
He's your brother. He's come home.
Hands scrounging for more of him to hold, just to hold him. You thought of him as dead for so long you thought it became real. Pesticinger could sense it. Crying tears of water from the same womb.
"I'm sorry.." gasping out hoarsely "I'm.. So sorry.. Lassi.." and he shushed her softly. Petting her raggedy hair. Discovering scratches on her back from where she'd laid in the plants. He let her cry. She hoped it was of his free will.
A damp little spot appearing on her shoulder where his face lay. Little warm tears.
They stood there like that for a while. Siru felt so many things she should say, searching for them all amidst the sea of tears. When had she cried last.
Quitting-time... Or at least, that's what it was for most people in the office. Obviously, Li stayed up late to watch over and listen in to the walkie-talkies of the men out on duty making arms and drug deals.
As he walked past Kilroy's office, he noticed a small trail of snow from the room to the fire-escape stairs. Strange. Well, as strange as strange got around here. The man was always courteous to the building.
@mr-david-li
*The trail was obvious where it headed, as the man climbed the stairs to the rooftop. However, today was not the usual sulking-day. No. It was an Angry-Day. Kilroy wore a pinstripe suit much too big for him. One he hadn't had tailored to his size. He had a small amplifier next to him, and his black Kramar Super-Strat guitar in hand. He was practicing riffs as the man approached from behind.*
"Oh. Hey, Li..."
*Unlike his last time playing, this anger... it felt good.*
I just think LXC should get a little something out of the realization that the thing with JGY never went to talking about romance because JGY's trauma about the surprise incest made him utterly and entirely unable and unwilling to deal with that even a little
I can't overstate that I think LXC was fine with his relationship with JGY being what it was! it was fine being basically soulmates even if it meant shutting the fuck up about his feelings, because JGY was entirely devoted to his wife!
And then the truth about QS and JGY being related comes out, JGY dies, and LXC is left with knowing that this, too, is something JGY never told him - the thing about QS and him - and JGY hadn't in fact been in love with his wife for a decade
and all of LXC's feelings - feelings for JGY being a good man, maybe the best LXC knew - maybe they could have helped JGY with that part of him. or maybe JGY knew; maybe they made it worse
TMG occupies this weird space in my musical tastes where most of their lyrics are unquestionably about some dark and objectively sad shit but somehow it puts me in a good mood listening to it
