Discover Top Posts Tagged with #catholic funny

Literally anyone: "I'm kinda thirsty"

Me, an official Tumblr Mercy Worker:

#give drink to the thirsty appreciation post #i havent forgotten how unpopular that one was in my poll 😂#catholicism #christianity #works of mercy #corporal works of mercy #give drink to the thirsty #meme #mrs doubtfire #catholic funny #christian funny

Shows up 2 hours early at the Sto. Niño novena mass with cappuccino

Hindi parin nakapasok sa Basilica, so...

#being filipino #catholic funny

Weird Priest Stories

Alrighty. I’m gonna make this a thing on my blog because I won’t be able to die peacefully unless it’s out in the world somewhere.

A bit of background: I’m Catholic. I’m pretty sure it’s a requirement for all Catholic churches to have at least one priest that’s completely off his balls. And no, I don’t mean that in a homophobic white Jesus way. (believe it or not, that’s not a requirement.) I mean that in an “our priest may be one weird batshit crazy dude but he loves Jesus and he is Our Priest so don’t you dare say anything about him” kinda way. There’s a priest like that at my church who’ll we’ll call Father P. Father P is the greatest and simultaneously strangest person I’ve ever met. He’s a complete badass who doesn’t care what anyone thinks except for Jesus and like,,,one (1) deacon maybe. That’s what this particular story is about.

My family and I were at Mass (church). It must’ve been a daily mass, because it was mostly grandmas there. Everyone was kinda shuffling through the mass in the way that old catholic grandmas and tired children who are in it for the promise of donuts after do. At the end of the mass, Father P starts talking about a new community thing or whatever that the church wants to do. Now, there’s 2 different types of people when it comes to church events; those who go to and plan and bring the snacks for literally every single one or the ones who Love Jesus but No. Father P. knows that there’s a lot of the 2nd kind of folks here, and he’s pretty pissed abt it. So he looks out over the sea of grandmas all clutching their rosaries and squinting at him and this absolute madman of a motherfucker goes

“it’s from 6-7. Just come, most of you will be dead in a year anyways”

And my tired-ass heathen siblings and I bolted upright and paid rapt attention to the mass for the first time since they dressed us in baby bridal gowns dunked us into that freezing water. Best homily I’ve ever heard, 10/10.

And this is a tame Father P. story.