08/14/2026
Be not afraid... except you.
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JOKE-OGRAPHY:
In this Bible story (Matthew 15:21-28), Jesus is traveling abroad when a Canaanite woman runs up and begs Him to cure her daughter, who's being tormented by a demon. Jesus tests her faith, saying His mission is only to the Jews, not to Gentiles like her, but at her humility, persistence, and unshakable faith, He finally honors her and answers her prayer, and her daughter is immediately cured, presumably without Jesus having to go to her at all.
In this cartoon, we cut away from Jesus and the Canaanite woman to imagine the curing of the woman's daughter. In this cartoon, the demon leans over the tormented girl, whispering poison into her soul. Then the angels show up, dressed like mafia heavies. Gabriel, ever the spokesman, plays up the mafioso bit with all the quips, accent, and slang that he can muster. Meanwhile, Michael, ever the warrior, prepares for a very one-sided fight.
Gabriel starts by barging into the house and SAYING "knock knock" instead of actually knocking on the door first. This is a power move to assert dominance.
Gabriel tells the demon to pack up, make like a tree, and scramoose. There's a common idiom that goes thusly: "Make like a tree and LEAVE." It's a way to tell someone to go away while playing on the similarity between the words "leave" (like "go away") and "leaf" or "leaves" (like the green stuff in trees). Gabriel uses the first half of the saying but not the second, which messes up the whole point of the idiom. This is a power move to assert dominance. Because the idiom is so well-known, a subversion like this ends up being funny by cutting off the obvious, expected punchline, and replacing it with something unfitting and absurd. I worked very hard on this new joke, so please don't steal it and go back in time to use it before me so I look like I stole it. Thanks in advance!
"Scramoose" is a mix between "scram" (like "go away") and "vamoose" (like "go away") for double the "go away" action! This is a power move to assert dominance.
For those who don't know, "sign language" is a form of communication where people use hand gestures to represent letters or words. It's commonly used for the hearing or vocally impaired, who can't use normal spoken languages. Because sign language involves "talking" with your hands, in this cartoon, Gabriel uses "sign language" as a euphemism for "beating someone up." This is a power move to assert dominance.
