Patches

A Gal Pal screaming into the void :) She/her

[shillanov]

u know what i fucking love. is that it's so clear that many of us have important full time jobs. yet you can see us here on tumblr throughout the work day posting about the most unhinged shit possible. like we're really out here going to a meeting then coming back to tumblr like "shane drippy big dick bouncing on that thang" before running back to another meeting like Hi Linda yes I talked to the team earlier and we're ready to send the documents over. How was your weekend

[shillanov]

[eptck]

you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

you have to be kind. you have to be kind.

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

art by @niochemblyat

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

I always know its getting toasty out in the world because girls start reblogging this post like crazy

[kiefbowl]

the most important virtues for the young woman are as follows: time theft, selfishness, orgasms, irreverence to authority, sacrilegious behavior, a questioning mind, and eating regular meals.

[stealthetrees]

What if human astronauts visit Erid one day and are doing diplomatic things and whatnot and they learn Ryland Grace is sstill alive and is in a terrarium. One of the astronauts jokingly says “you’re not experimenting on him are you” and the Eridians freeze cause yeah, they totally are. They experiment on him all the time. They’re experimenting on him right now in fact. They read about deep sea diving and are now testing the effects of replacing certain gases in Graces atmosphere. Right now they’re testing helium.

They send someone to stop the experiment but Grace refuses cause they’re so far in already and well that would just ruin the data.

The new humans think this is hilarious and insist on joining the experiment as Grace excitedly yaps about all the cool stuff he’s learned about aliens but he’s still got that high pitched helium voice.

[avoid-avoidance]

(^ @caligeno tags)

Grace:

[elierlick]

Yet another new study debunked the basis for the anti-trans sports bans. It was never about sports but for creating legal avenues for exclusion and abjection. This is one of the largest analyses ever conducted, involving 52 studies and 6,485 trans people. Read the study here.

[lucieslucidity]

post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats

[fleshengine]

At minimum about 4.5 thousand people liked this without reblogging it.

We gotta fix that.

[jame7t]

there’s a war between Sucking and Fucking

[jame7t]

you people cannot be trusted in the war room

[j-train13]

Astronauts are so funny man. Here's just a couple of things I've found hilarious from this past week of space stuff:

It's probably already been spread around here enough already, but in case anyone's missed it; 7 hours after launch, commander Reid Wiseman, dealing with tech issues, uttered the generational quote "I have two Microsoft Outlooks and neither one of those are working."

After fixing the issues that were afflicting the onboard toilet, mission specialist Christina Koch (who has quickly become my favourite of the four) laughingly said “I’m the space plumber, I’m proud to call myself the space plumber.”

On Easter Sunday, the Artemis II crew hosted a makeshift egg hunt, by hiding packets of dehydrated scrambled eggs around their Orion capsule.

The way the crew always makes sure to make it very clear they're in space when doing interviews. From stuff like Wiseman just hanging out floating sideways on screen or Koch letting her hair loose so it can freely span out flowing around her.

While in transit, the crew decided to record a parody of those bad 80s sitcom intros where everyone turns and smiles at the camera.

When the crew reached the furthest point from Earth in the mission, they jokingly clambored over each other in an effort to get to the far side of the capsule, so that they could individually claim to be the furthest person from earth.

At the same time, on the ISS which was at the time on the other side of earth, the 7 astronauts onboard had a light-hearted race to the far side of the station, making jokes about being the furthest humans from Artemis.

On the way back to earth, NASA actually managed to establish an audio call between the crews of the ISS and Artemis II (where they shared the above info), and Koch called one member of the ISS crew, Jessica Meir, her "astro-sister" as the two of them previously spacewalker together in 2019. Meir then responded I'm so happy that we are back in space together, even if we are a few miles apart" (a few here being 230,000).

While Jeremy Hansen was doing an interview, Wiseman and Koch were just in the background swatting the mission mascot (a little moon plush toy named Rise) back and forth between each other.

[greater-than-the-sword]

I bet those astronauts are pretty excited to be the farthest from Earth anybody's ever been. You might even say they're over the moon about it

[kaylmao]

10000 YEAR OLD ROCK ART OF GIRAFFES FOUND IN LIBYA LET'S GO

[kaylmao]

YES!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lilacchao]

of note: 95% of libya is desert, and giraffes are not found there! but this predates not just the libyan desert, but the entire sahara desert it's a part of! giraffes aren't found there any more and this is a memory of a time when things were giraffier

also apparently this rock art dates across multiple periods spanning thousands of years? but i couldn't find much detail on that so i can't give specifics

but yeah, this isn't just a memory of giraffes, but of giraffes now absent encountered by people just 2000 years (the difference between the late roman republic and today) out of the ice age, in a climate unfamiliar to any of the hundred billion people born since the desertification of the sahara drove the ancient egyptians to the nile, near the start of the agricultural revolution

the time between this and the birth of the sahara was nearly as long as the time between the birth of the sahara and now, in which all recorded history is contained, and all languages we can recognise at all - the language and culture of these people would be totally alien to current libyans, twice the difference between the oldest european language and english, predating all but libya's mountains!

and we have pictures of giraffes of the time! what a beautiful gift from such a distant past

[elierlick]

Thanks to trans men donating their tissue, we know the exact number of nerve fibers in the clitoris. Read about it here.

[hauntedfragility]

thank you trans men

[creepymutelilbugger]

thank you trans men

[haventhefrog]

thank you trans men

[seraph5]

Thank you trans men

[overblush]

i root for all of my mutuals even if we don’t talk ❗❗ i see u an hope ur doin well an hope ur achieving ur goals 👀👏💓

[coldwardream]

their father-son relationship has captivated me

[attheendhello]

you heard it. reblog if u support yuri

[patcharmyof1]

What’s everyone’s best depression cure. And don’t say therapy or meds or exercise or meditation or going outside or having hobbies or journaling or leaning on others or cleaning or creative work or

[natalieironside]

I think what's wrong with me is that my dad loved making boiled peanuts but when you say "boiled peanuts" in a thick Mississippi Delta accent it sounds like "bald penis" and we were forbidden from acknowledging that

[natalieironside]

My dad, internally: "The children must be fed nutriment. I have in my possession a very large pot and a propane burner; I shall make a sojourn to the grocer's and procure peanuts."

My dad, aloud: "'Ey, y'all wansum bald penis?"

[natalieironside]

All of us, internally: "Ah yes, such a delectable summertime treat that will be."

All of us, aloud: "'Ey, shitchea. Daddy boutta bal up some bald penis!"

[natalieironside]

#who the fuck eats peanuts boiled.

They take on a delightful texture similar to water chestnuts and get infused with whatever seasonings you put in the water. It is literally so fucking delicious and if you don't know about bald penis then you are Deprived. The food of the gods.

[natalieironside]

#as a european#what the fuck

Honey, darling, listen to me. Would I lie to you? No, I wouldn't. If you ever find yourself driving around in the rural southern US, you simply must keep an eye out for one of these gentlemen:

For a very reasonable price you'll be provided a cup of absolutely delectable provincial delicacies that will surely equal any hors d'ouvers you might find on the continent. I promise, darling, it is the most délicieuse dining experience you're likely to find, and it will surely--as my dear departed grandmama used to say--"make yer tongue slap yer brains out"

[dynamo-of-fake-twin-brother-fame]

This gentleman has spelled peanuts three different ways on his stall.

[stevishabitat]

One of these rolls up to the parking lot by the Dollar Tree, Goodwill, and Aaron's every summer. Just down the road from the sno-ball truck by the outdoor roller-skating rink (location, location, location). Brave soul to drive up to a yankee state like Missouri to sell bald penis, but we are appreciative 🤣

[thebooklion4]

It is a universals of the South: If something on the sign is spelled wrong, the food will be the best you've ever had.

[coquelicoq]

[ID: Photo of a hot boiled peanuts stall built out of a trailer hauled by a truck. "Hot Boiled Peanuts" is written on the stall three times, with "peanuts" spelled "peanuts", "penuts", and "p-nuts". /end ID]

[aniseandspearmint]

As a western transplant to The South (we moved when I was 12) I TOTALLY GET ALL OF YOU WRINKLING YOUR NOSES! I DID TOO!

But they are DELICIOUS.

You have to use raw or green peanuts for this, green is best (raw peanuts have been dried s bit, green were dug up but not dried yet). Roasted won't work. You boil them in the shells, tossing in salt and/or a spice blend. Cajun seasoning blends are popular, but old bay is good too.

They're SO so good.

[naamahdarling]

I WANT TO TRY BALD PENIS SO BAD NOW!!!

[devisdevotionals]

I'm dedicating my prayers this afternoon to all those whose hearts are poisoned by hatred.

Mighty and most merciful God, look upon your lost sheep with pity. Soften their hearts, strengthen their minds, and remove the veil of prejudice from their eyes so they might see all of humankind as Your beloved children. Spare the oppressed from the pain of their words and the violence of their hands, and forgive them their sins so they might finally know community and peace in You. Amen