So here's something to ponder from Brain Bulletin #126 (thank you Terry Small!):
One of the most important things I have ever learned is that our brains are wired to see what is essential, not what is real.
Stated differently: Humans don't see unless they're looking.
John Lubbock in "The Beauties of Nature and the Wonders of the World We Live In" wrote, "What we see depends mainly on what we look for. In the same field the farmer will notice the crop, the geologist the fossils, the botanist the flowers, the artist the colours. Though we look at the same things, it does not follow that we should see them."
A good question to ask every morning: "What am I looking for today?"
Why is this important? Well, consider this: When something bad happens, is it usually your fault or someone else's? Will the results of this bad thing be permanent or temporary? Will it spread to other areas of your life, or limited to this single adversity?
Science tells us that optimists and pessimists are easily identified by their explanations of success and adversity1.
It turns out they have different mindsets revolving around the 3 "P's" : personalization, permanence, and pervasiveness.
When "bad stuff" happens, the pessimist thinks, "It's my fault (personalization). It's gonna last forever (permanence). It's gonna spread to other areas of my life (pervasiveness)". The optimist? Just the opposite, "It's probably not my fault. And if it is my fault, it's just temporary, and it won't spread to other areas".
Now when something good happens, this all gets reversed.
The pessimist believes, "Someone else made this "good stuff" happen. Not gonna last long, and it won't help me in other areas of my life."And, of course you're ahead of me on this. It's just the opposite for the optimist, "I made it happen, and if someone else did, I can make it last. I can repeat it. And, it's gonna help me in many areas of my life!"
Does it surprise you that pessimists explain adversity in exactly the same way that optimists explain success?
Mindset matters. The good news is that we can change the wiring it our brains by the way we talk to ourselves. And, as a bonus, it will probably change the way we talk to others.
