Thinking about Ace Miguel. Thinking about sex-repulsed Ace Miguel.
Ace4Ace Miguel. Miguel who avoids sex at all costs unless it's 1) with his longtime partner 2) with the intent to concieve and 3) planned in advance.
Like ALL THREE must be true or else he's like 'Absolutely not. Do not ask me again.'
Like Miguel's wife Inca-Spider Moche is only 4'11 and people (mainly Peter) like to poke fun and make jokes about the size difference like 'Ha I'd hate to be her back on a Friday night' as if they're going at it like animals when in reality it's like
'My dearest husband, would you like to engage in coitus during our 30 minute lunch break on Thursday two days from now?'
'Lyla what's my schedule look like for Thursday?'
'Uhhh... Clear?'
'Good. Put us down for Thursday at 12:00'
'... And what am I supposed to list this under?'
'Sex.'
Then after their romp that lasts less than 15 minutes they spend the rest of the week bent over two dozen pregnancy tests and if it comes up negative they're like 'Fuck!!! We have to do the thing again 😐😩'
Jess and Peter are like 'What do you mean have to?? You're married!!'
Leave it to Miguel and Moche to suck the fun outta sex - instead they crochet together. And go to salsa lessons. And watch the Great British Bake Off while doing face masks.
Sex with your wife? Messy! Time consuming! Sweaty!
Bowling with your wife? Fun! Competitive! No clean up! What's not to love!!!!
It's a good thing everytime they do conceive they end up with twins or triplets. Miguel asked for 1, they ended up with 8.