Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (Part Three)
Six: Whatever makes you happy
Marina: Where’s my perfume?
Nine: *squeezes bread* I just really felt like doing that
Five: I feel like doing that to you
Eight: Use your bread you fucking heathen
Five, tucking Maggie and Ella into bed: Night night c*nts
Maggie and Ella, in unison: REEEE
John: *attempts to do something but fails*
John: I hate you guys so fucking much
Eight: Is eating this much cheese even healthy???
John: Raise your hand if you love dogs
Adam: I would but I’m eating goldfish
Five, on an Omegle video chat with a knocked-out Sam and Ella: They're dead
Nine, on the other end of the call: Tell them to get up
Six: Men are dumb. Fuck men. You know, what? To all the ladies in the chat, here's some advice.
Six: Destroy the patriarchy
Six: And do it with a smile and a piña colada *bites chip*
Marina: I was gonna wear a cute pink flower crown with my outfit but then I thought fuck that, I'm going low-key cottagecore, not Ohioan frolicker or Idahoan horse girl
Adam: Dude, are you high?
Sam, suddenly remembering he rode passenger while Nile smoked weed on their way home and has gotten high off second-hand smoking weed before: OH SHI-
Five: Why am I even up at four in the morning with chips and Mountain Dew???
Marina: I mean, it could be from insomnia rooting from your depressio-
Five: Depression? BITCH PLEASE that shit is so 2019
Adam's teacher: I know it's Monday, but if it's any comfort, today is the first day of the last week of April!
Adam: What the FUCK did you just say to me-
Eight, mimicking an old man: gEt OfF mY lAwN
Sam: *puts face in bowl and laughs*
Nine, knocking on the door: Let me innnnn
John, sitting against the door so Nine doesn't come in: No, I'm still mad at you
Nine: Ok ok I'm sorry, I'll pay you fifty dollars
Five, trying to be compassionate with Nine: Remember when we used to match hairstyles, you fuck?
Literally anyone: *laughs*
Six: fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me square up square up square up sqUARE UP SQUARE U-
One: Can I use your headphones?
Adam: Sorry, I'm using the-
One: Shut up you dumb fuck
Eight, talking to himself in the mirror: Oh my god look at you in your big, baggy flannel you look sO CUTE you're adorable don't let anyone tell you differently, including you you dumb fucking insecure little bitch
Daniela: What would happen if a woman took penis enlargement pills?
Adam: Hey no offense but what the fuck is wrong with you?
John: What even goes on in your mind?
Nine: Tarot cards, money, Cotton Eye Joe on loop, applesauce, lighting a house on fire, jumping out a second-story house to see if my ankle is durable or not...
Nine: But mostly Cotton Eye Joe on loop
Five: Some people identify as she/her. Some people identify as he/him. Some people identify as they/them. I identifty as a fucking disappointment.
Marina: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Eight, naked in a bubble-filled bathtub with lit candles, a wine glass full of apple juice, and IceJJFish playing: Do I look like someone with the fucking time?
Adam, sitting on the ground blasting Ariana Grande with an iced almond milk latte and wearing a baggy flannel shirt: BITCH-
Six: *opens her online-shopping package*
Marina: Uh, those are going to make you look a little emo, aren't they?
Six, putting on her thick chain choker and leather gloves: that's the poINT-
Sam: *dances like a crab to the Crab Rave* Crabby Rave make pain go away
One: 'oH i DoNt HaVe PrOnOuNs'- what the fuck are you then, a toaster?
Random celebrity: Wow, fangirls are so sweet and dedicated, they really should get paid for all the promotions and hard work they do!
Maggie, crying: All I wanted was some fucking chicky nuggies
Sam, walking up to Nine in public: Hey bestie-
Ella: I'm gonna send a celebrity a meme everyday until they reply to me
Five: Yeah, I'm depressed *laughs*
Five: It's a coping mechanism
Maggie: I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner I wants the three D's
Sarah, horrified: The WHAT
Maggie: Dogs, donuts, and diamonds
Hannu: So there's this philosophy theory-
One: I will fucking drown you
Six: If you are male and you have a flat ass, don't speak to me. I need guy friends who match my level of THICKNESS
One: Oh my god she's so cute
Adam: She has a girlfriend
Five: If ONE MORE BITCHASS WHORE comments on my clothes and shits about how feminine I dress I swear I will be gOING TO JAIL
Five: JUST SAY YOU ARE JEALOUS YOU CAN'T WORK BOTH AND LEAVE BITCH
Nine: So I have this problem where I hate myself but I still think I'm better than everyone else
Nine: Like I'm trash but I'm QUALITY trash, I'm trash from the garbage bags of Louis Vuitton, I'm recyclable, reusable trash, I'm the trash no one wants to throw away
Nine: If Gucci made a limited-edition, 24-karat gold garbage bag, I'd be that garbage bag
Maggie, holding a nerf gun to Adam's head: Gimme all your fucking money
Sam: I don't know, I've just been feeling a little down lately
Six: *smacks Sam in the face with a pillow*
Maggie: BESTIE. YOU ARE A BAD BITCH. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. WORK IT QUEEN
The pigeon on the sidewalk:
