thinking. about rens first two months in tokyo and how hes basically internally screaming and also hiding his clenched fists in his pockets all the time HES SO PISSED OFF and hes SO good at repressing that shit as a civilian but my god... it comes out in the metaverse v heavily at the start
ren really went into their year on probation completely closed off. wanting to keep his head down. he didnt want to know anyone and didnt want anyone to know him. keep out of trouble. stay safe. trying to avoid pain from all directions. emotional or physical. real or imaginary. he would create a personality so cold and so distant. whatever he needed to do to.
and then the universe drops one (1) ryuji in front of them and that whole plan fell apart.
ryuji saw ren was alone and decided to walk to school with him. that one show of kindness in a world that had since become so unjust and so bleak -- ryujis concern for them, a complete stranger, when under attack in the palace. and ren decided he would die for him.
ryuji is the real heart of the phantom thieves and thats why hes ren's second. he was the one who gave ren hope when he came to tokyo all alone. thrown to the wayside by their parents and treated like garbage by everyone around them. ryuji was the catalyst for ren believing in people again. he and ann helped ren learn to trust again.
his relationship with the two of them is different than any of his with the other pt. because they're the OGS and they had to face the prospect that they could ultimately be collaborators in killing a man if shit goes south. the amount of trust you would have for each other in this situation is insane.
thinking of how rens terrible eating habits heavily impact his performance in the metaverse in the beginning. how often ren would pass out or feel like passing out when first starting as a phantom thief because his diet does NOT make up for how much energy hes using in the metaverse (even if the metaverse lets you do feats you wouldnt be able to do irl)
ryuji and ann and mona are like AAA ARE YOU OKAY and ren is like. uhhh yeah. my bad. gimme a minute. like. he faints at least TWICE going through kamoshidas palace and they have to leave so ann and ryuji can FEED HIM.
ANN: oh my god, oh my god, ren— how many fingers am i holding up??
REN: seven
RYUJI: are you in pain anywhere?? shit!! what do we do??
MORGANA: stop crowding them!
RYUJI: dude!! he just fainted!!
REN: guys, im fine this happens a lot
RYUJI: BRO?? what?
ANN: Hello??
REN: well it... used to? when i was a kid
MORGANA: w—were you sick? are you sick??
REN: need to eat.
MORGANA: you— (we dont have time to unpack that) youre hungry? now? right now?
REN: sure
ANN: when was the last time you ate?!
REN: lunch. bread. had cup noodles last night.
RYUJI: oh. dude, your blood sugars so low youre tripping over it.
REN: heh,, my bad
ANN: geez, okay, we’re leaving right now! and we’re gonna take you out to eat!
REN: oh. uhh
RYUJI: seconded. and youre bringing home all the leftovers
REN: um
MORGANA: joker, you wont object to sushi, will you? can we get sushi?
RYUJI: taking the opportunity to satiate your tuna addiction even now?!
MORGANA: shuddup! i’m his greatest motivator! you want them to take all the leftovers or not? (he’ll feel less guilty about being spoiled if he can use it to spoil me!)
REN: eheheheh hahahaha!
EVERYONE: ?
REN: sorry, im fine (wipes his eyes from laughing. also he’s genuinely kinda emotional cause he has people who love him so much) yeah, we can go. im ready…
MORGANA: yes!!
ryuji and ann (and many of the others going forward) carry snacks on them specifically because ren forgets theyre a human being with a body that needs fuel to function.
both him and yusuke are disasters in this aspect. yusuke is no stranger to collapsing because he hasnt eaten enough. futaba also forgets they need to eat too cause their hyperfocus goes crazy. and goro also skips meals a lot.
ren has a job by the time they start madarames palace, i think? so at least he has more spending money so he can buy food for himself. and also sojiro is AWARE by this point that rens parents did, in fact, NOT send them to tokyo with a budget. so he's feeding ren every morning now rather than some mornings. he's allowing ren to touch the kitchen. use some beans and curry ingredients. and eat leftover curry. and he occasionally brings takeout home for him. (when futaba asks for takeout and he figures he should buy ren some too)
but sometimes. ren does. still. indeed. forget to fucking eat. hes running around doing all these things and has so much on his mind. so busy and goal focused on being team leader and helping others (unconsciously avoiding his own pain by doing so) that of course his autistic ass isnt. capable of that extra bit of processing when it comes to. his own needs. (and his needs never had a place at the table growing up. ofc hes completely detached from them)
years of dysfunctional eating cant be undone completely within just one year. (especially with ren going BACK to the environment that fostered those habits in the first place in the end.) they get better but theyll never not be just a bit dysfunctional. but being allowed to use the kitchen and being given a safe space where he feel like he wont be judged or attacked when he does it, has them going out of their way to try new things. to learn. to cook for their friends and they really really enjoy doing it.
rens eating habits improve in part through his own desire to provide food for his team. to support his other friends whose habits are also not that great. and as a show of love and gratitude for everyone taking care of him. this is also why ren spoils morgana so much. because this cat is constantly reminding ren to rest and take their time and eat.
