#chaoticproblems

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Adulthood approaches

I'm scared

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Everyone gets stressed and they take it out on me

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What do when a person you very much love and admire only wants to see you when it's convenient to them... And then says they feel like you're the one abandoning them when you wanna hang out with your friends?

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Woah sorry for the theatre spam fandom followers...

I'm opening in the evening tomorrow and I'm freaking out and last night was the other cast's opening night and we went and had dinner together and we bonded and cried because that's what we do and I'm just freaking out because one of the actors in the play doesn't have some of the lines memorized so I'll have to memorize them just incase I need to improvise so the info gets in and wow i'm sorta stressing out. This is my first lead, and first time in a musical and I'm very anxious and excited...

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I never understood the anxiety behind sending "adult" emails till I had to send one...

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Yes hello! I am back! Sorry for the recent absence i did a bad thing went to a place where no electronics were allowed and now i'm back! Alive and well! Thank you to the two people who messaged me their support i means a lot to come back and see at least someone cared! So yeah I'm back and get ready for some supernatural, theatre, anime, humor, whatever else i post spam!

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today July 25, 2014 is officially the day I realized how afraid I was of the world because of my female body. I noticed it when I decided to walk home and instinctively dialed 911 so incase i got attacked I could jut pull out my phone and press call. Then i noticed how I walked with my hands in my pockets, one hand on my phone the other wrapped around my keys ready to use them like brass knuckles. Also the way I actually walked. Head high with an angry/stern face because I read somewhere attackers wold be less likely to attack a girl who looked confident, and I had to pace myself too. Not to fast or it'll look like i'm panicking, not to slow or I'll be an easy target, so i walked with long confident strides looking like i cared about nothing and as if i could kick anyone's ass... when in reality I know if i was attacked by someone significantly larger and stronger than me i'd be out in an instant. I also realized it with the feeling of absolute horror and panic that i felt whenever my path wasn't lit by a street light even if the next one was just a yard away. And mostly i noticed how when I walked home i mentally mapped out my town and thought to myself "hmmm... if I was attacked which path would be the closest to someone who could hear me scream?" It's gross and I hate it... This sucks...