Shepard entered the hospital room, the smell of antiseptic filling her nostrils. It looked so eerily similar to the room that Kaidan had laid in only a few doors down, except there was a different atmosphere. Doctors and nurses were not rushing about, there were no machines beeping, no sense of urgency here. There was only stillness and resignation.
Thane lay in bed, reclining. If she didn't know better, Shepard would have said that he was simply napping. His jade skin wasn't pale, the way humans would be. But he was still, so very still that it was almost impossible to tell if he was moving at first.
At Thane's bedside, a younger Drell straightened, unclasping his hands. As he turned, Shepard had to take a moment before she could recognize the man who stood before her.
"Commander Shepard. My father mentioned you were no longer incarcerated. I don't know if you remember me. I'm Kolyat Krios. I came to donate blood and…well…" He trailed off.
The brunette commander nodded slowly. Certianly she remembered Kolyat, how couldn't she? Somehow she managed to recall few of the ones she saved, but all the ones she couldn't.
Kolyat went on, his teal skin nothing like his father's jade. "He asked me to take off his oxygen mask so he could be comfortable. I don't think it will be very long."
"Your father helped me save a lot of lives." The words were tripping off Shepard's tongue before she could really think about them or stop them. "I'd like to be here."
Inwardly, Shepard kicked herself. Certainly that was part of it, but why was she really here? To feed her own ego? It was no secret that Thane cared more for her than she could care for him. Perhaps to give him comfort in his final moments. Her heart pounded as she cast her ocean blue eyes over to where Thane lay.
Somehow, Kolyat must have sensed her hesitation. He stared at her, scrutinizing the commander with his impossibly dark eyes before stepping aside. It was almost as if he were guarding his father in his final moments. "Of course."
As she approached, Shepard felt her heart lurch. Dead bodies did not bother her, she'd seen enough in her time. But it was always sudden, quick deaths. Not this. She rarely encountered those in the process of dying.
Thane, however, didn't seem to notice that she was nervous. He had eyes only for her, tilting his head in her direction. "Siha…I'm afraid I've picked a bad time to leave."
"You've done more than enough." Shepard leaned forwards, already fighting to keep her ocean blue eyes dry. "You haven't disappointed me. You couldn't disappoint me Thane."
A smile fluttered across Thane's features. "Such pleasant things from your lips." He was interrupted by a particularly violent series of coughs, which propelled him into a sort of sitting position before the Drell flopped back again. "Excuse me…breathing is difficult. But…that assassin should be disappointed. A terminally ill Drell prevented him from reaching his target."
In spite of the situation, Shepard smiled. "I'll be sure to pass the word along."
From where he lay, Thane gave a sort of humming sound that reminded Shepard of the noise Garrus made when content. He took another labored breath. "Siha…it will be soon. I need to know if the councilor survived."
Before Shepard could speak, Kolyat interrupted from where he stood at the foot of the bed. "Yes, Father. Three are alive thanks to you and Shepard. Udina…he instigated it. He is dead."
Both Drell stared at Shepard, obvious thanks and respect on their features. For her part, Shepard couldn't meet their eyes.
Don't thank me yet.
"There is something I must do before it gets worse. I must-" Another spasm of dry coughs punctuated Thane's speech. As he hacked, Shepard found herself clutching the bedrail, utterly helpless.
It wasn't until Kolyat bowed his head that she realized what Thane had wanted. In between spasms, Thane spoke, his voice smooth and serene. "Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness. Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand –"
Yet another, even more violent cough tore through Thane's lungs, interrupting his prayer. Kolyat, however, continued. "Kalahira, wash the sins from this one and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit."
A few beads of moisture were brought to Shepard's eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Not yet. Not now.
"Kolyat…" Thane's voice was drastically weaker now. Time was short, but the pride in Thane's tone was unmistakable. "You speak as the priests do. You have been spending time with them."
Wordlessly, the teal Drell crossed to stand beside Shepard, extracting a small book from his jacket as he did so. "I brought a prayer book." For the first time, he sounded hesitant. "Commander, would you care to join me?"
The offer stunned Shepard. Certainly she wasn't a religious woman, and Thane knew that. She couldn't fault Kolyat for not knowing, but…momentarily Shepard had to wonder if praying when you didn't believe would get you sent to hell.
But everything considered, she was going to hell anyway, so one more sin on the list wouldn't hurt. She nodded silently as Kolyat began.
"Kalahira, this one's heart is pure but beset by wickedness and contention."
Thankfully, there was an English version aside the traditional Drell script. Shepard heard her voice, as though from across a great distance.
"Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve."
She chanced a glance at Thane. He was still, his eyes fixed on her in an unwavering stare, as though trying to fix every inch of the human into his memory. Erin turned away, partly embarrassed by the attention and partly to prevent herself from crying.
"Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me."
As the words left her mouth, Thane turned his head to look out the window and for the last time, became still. Neither Drell nor Commander needed to say anything to know that Thane Krios had departed the room and was on his way across the sea.
With a light, trembling hand, Shepard moved forward and closed Thane's eyes. It was a distinctly human custom, but somehow it felt right. However, there was one last thing…
"Kolyat…" She turned to the teal Drell, who had a few shining tear tracks staining his cheeks, "Why did the last verse say 'she'?"
When Kolyat turned to Shepard, he seemed determined, his eyes dry and his voice strong. "The prayer was not for him, Commander. He has already asked forgiveness for the lives he has taken. His wish…was for you."
The words were like twisting a knife deep into Shepard's chest. She stared down at Thane's body. It was impossible to fathom that only a year ago he was strong and fighting alongside her. There was a sort of surreal factor to the whole thing.
"Goodbye Thane." Her voice had dropped to nothing more than a hoarse whisper. "Meet you across the sea."
Silently, Shepard turned and left. No words were spoken to Kolyat; he knew how to contact her if he needed her. Right now, Shepard didn't want to think about that. Her mind was brimming with thoughts of Thane and his last wishes.
His wish…was for you.
Of course it would be. It always was for her, wasn't it? Every action, every little thing Thane had done in the time he'd known her was to win her heart. And somehow, she had given it away to…
"Shepard."
Erin stopped, eyes wide at Garrus' voice. She hadn't expected to find him in the waiting room, standing by the same window where Thane had sat only a few months ago. His armor was still stained with blood and he kept swatting off medical staff who were attempting to patch him up. However, the Turian only had eyes for Shepard.
Somehow, she managed to navigate her way over to him. Without bothering with formalities, Erin Shepard wrapped her arms around Garrus and put her head into his chest. Wordlessly, Garrus enfolded her to him, resting his chin on the top of her head.
Shaking her head, Shepard took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't know Garrus…I just can't help but wonder…what if…if I just…"
"What?" Inquired Garrus gently, his voice humming melodiously. "If you loved him you could have saved Thane from Keprals? From that assassin? Shepard, we can't choose who or what the heart wants…and even if we could, that wouldn't change anything."
Although Garrus wasn't exactly an expert at humans, somehow he knew just what to say and do. Slowly he rubbed Shepard's back, his talons lightly raking the fabric. She shook her head again. "When did life give you all the answers?"
Chuckling, Garrus flared his mandibles into a smile. "It didn't, but every once in a while it lets me get one or two things right."
