I'm not what I seem like chapter 21 - it just fits
Read now on AO3
Or read from the beginning
seen from United States
seen from Norway
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from South Africa
seen from Malaysia

seen from Malta

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from China
I'm not what I seem like chapter 21 - it just fits
Read now on AO3
Or read from the beginning
Bettys final wedding dress in “I’m not what I seem like”
I’m not what I seem like Sneak peak chapter 21 - It just fits
“Oh for gods sake. I can't torture you guys anymore. You sweating, I am sweating. You out of breath guys. I can't try more dresses. You're to exhausted.” Betty said desperate and tired.
She should have known that this gonna be a disaster...
She wasn't normal. She couldn't find her perfect dress, by trying hundreds. She was exhausted and her assistance too. She already took all three of them with her, but it was hard anyway.
“Come on Ronnie, just let take this one. I know I have to compromise.” Betty said exhausted and fought against the impending tears of frustration.
“Over my dead body Betty, this is your dream you always dreamed of. You're not wearing just some dress on your wedding. It has to be THE dress. I know you want that too. I don't care how many sore muscles I'll have after today and I am sure the other don't care either.” Veronica answered.
They all nodded in agreement and Veronica continued to speak: “ We don't care how long we have to stay here and much our bodies hurts after it. You gonna find your perfect dress like every other woman..
“I am not every other woman V. Don't you get it. Everything is different, everything is complicated. I am not some normal woman.” Betty shouted and felt tears of frustration ran down her cheeks.
“I don't even know why he wants to marry me. I am such a burden.” She said frustrated.
Then she saw that Veronica took her mobile phone out.
“What are you doing?” Betty asked sniffling.
“I am calling the only one that can help now. You're freaking out and having a nervous breakdown.” Veronica said.
“Hey, are you free now.” Veronica started to speak to the anonymous she was calling
“Because you're future wife is having a nervous breaking, talking shit, like why you want to marry her and I think you're the only one who can calm her down.. So come here NOW!” Veronica ordered.
Coming soon on AO3
Or catch up here
Sometimes the wrong side of the tracks can be the right one Chapter 21 - Sacrifice
The Next chapter of the Peaky Blinders collaboration is there and many more will follow.
Artwork by @paigemariie14
READ NOW ON AO3
Fanfic: Hidden Affairs: Ch21: My Week with Dahlia: Sunday
so apparently i forgot to update chapter 21 on heree soo... here it is
Fanfic: If I Ain't Got You: Chapter Twenty-One
August 21, 2014
I whisked the bowl of eggs alongside Kelsey, who was helping me cook French toast. Niall had been doing a lot of things with the band here in New York. I was happy they weren’t flying to and from Sweden, but I felt a bit lonely at night. He was sleeping earlier then usual and woke up hours before I did.
I felt as if we were drifting apart. I was hiding this secret from him, after failed attempts to schedule my abortion, since every time they would pick up, I would hesitate and hang up. I handed Kelsey the bowl of eggs and she dipped them in the whole wheat bread. Zayn had told her everything and Kelsey was beyond disappointed in me. She didn’t have to say anything; Kelsey was good at expressing her feelings through her body language.
Kelsey is one of the most important people in my life, she was there for me after my father died, she has advised me through so much and it hurt a lot to realize how upset she was with me. Kelsey was like my big sister, even though she was only born ten days before me, Kelsey was always there to give her opinion no matter what.
“I think if you have this abortion, you’re going to torture yourself for the rest of your life.” She began, “You need to tell Niall, you have to explain whatever you’re feeling, because the longer you wait, the worse this problem will get.”
“I can’t do it Kelsey.” I dully said.
She turned to me, slamming a wooden spoon against the counter, “God damn it Es! You’re living the life any girl would die for! You’ve got the dream boyfriend and you had to screw it up by messing around with Zayn! Fuck, you create these problems for yourself and now you’re gonna kill the life growing inside you! Think about her, think about who she can become, what she can achieve!” She raised her voice, “You’re not giving her a choice. She could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.” She finished, walking out of the kitchen.
I sighed and held my stomach. I had less then two weeks to make a decision and now I doubted the decision I was so sure of. I leaned on the counter and shut my eyes; I never thought I would ever abort my own child. I sobbed, I was so angry with myself. Kelsey was right, I had a good life, I had everything any girl would dream of and I was ruining it for myself. I screamed out in frustration when I heard the front door shut close.
“Babe?” I heard the Irish accent say.
I stood straight and wiped the tears from my cheeks, attempting to pull myself together. I sniffled and forced a smile as he walked into the kitchen, “Baby what’s wrong?” He said touching the bags under my eyes.
“Nothing,” I mumbled.
“Why are you crying?” He asked.
“I’m not.” I lied.
“I heard you scream, what’s wrong?” He repeated.
I’m pregnant, I wanted to say, and instead I looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact. He held my hips in his hands and pulled me closer, “Look at me Es.”
I glanced up at his blue orbs and sighed, “I miss you so much.”
He kissed my forehead, “I’m sorry we haven’t spent so much time together, I’ve just been so fucking busy with the signing tomorrow and we’ve been practicing for hours.”
I groaned, “I totally forgot about the signing.”
“Its ok, I’ve been out of it too.” He delicately touched my lips with his lips. The light touch sent tingles down my spine, making my eyes slowly droop. How I’ve missed his touch, we hadn’t been intimate for two weeks or so. I urged him to deepen this kiss and his tongue flickered between my lips. I raised my arms over his neck, linking them together. His hands massaged my lower back, I moaned and he pushed me against the Italian cabinets.
He sucked on the nip of my neck, pushing his growing erection onto the side of my leg. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment as he lowered me down onto the kitchen floor. I giggled as he hovered over me, pulling his shirt off. I licked my lips and smiled at the blonde haired babe, we were fucking on the kitchen floor.
“It’s so fucking loud here, I better be getting five hundred bucks for this!” Lacey screamed into my phone, “I’m not even sure standing out here practically being raped by teenagers is even worth the money, why can’t you just get the bracelet for yourself?”
I groaned, “I would get mobbed down there!”
“And what about me? I am standing here, being pushed and shoved by bitches!”
I laughed; I had sent Lacey out to stand outside of Macy’s to get a bracelet for the signing today at two in the afternoon. Lacey had been out there since midnight, standing in line to get me a bracelet. I had offered her five hundred dollars since no one else would do it, now I’m afraid I’d have to raise my offer, “Five hundred and… one.” I said.
“No! Eight hundred, I wanna a new camera!” She yelled into the phone. It was so loud I could barely make out her words, “Fine!” I answered, ending the call. It was eight in the morning and the boys had already left to the mall, where they’d be signing any merchandise, CD’s, DVD’s, t-shirts, posters, magazines, etc. I curled my hair and wore high heels, I was sure that Lacey would get a bracelet if I offered to pay her a good amount of money, and Lacey loved money.
I didn’t want to look like a teenager, but I didn’t want to look like a hooker either. I wore skintight white jeans and a see through patterned top with a sea blue bandeau. I was ready by ten and had received my call that Lacey had the bracelet. I grabbed my purse full of merchandise and held my phone in my hand. I was going to surprise the boys, by fangirling over them.
I stepped out of the cab in front of Macy’s and found Lacey screaming at some girls who were pointing at her bracelet, “-fuck off you little twerp, I’ve been standing here since midnight don’t try and take my bracelet you little bitch!”
I walked up beside her and the girls pointed at me, “Ohmigosh aren’t you Niall’s girlfriend?” I looked pretty mature in my heels, since I was four inches taller then them and just about the same height as Lacey. She smiled and handed the bracelet to me, “Adios fuckers.” She waved, waiting for them to leave.
They didn’t budge and Lacey ignored them, “Here let me put it on for you.” She tied the bracelet on my wrist, “Where’s Alan?”
“Right behind you.” Alan said, approaching the two of us. The three girls took out their phones and recorded us, “It looks like it’s pretty crazy in there, you sure you wanna go in?”
“Yeah, do you know how fun this would be?” I laughed.
Alan shrugged and I handed Lacey an envelope, “There you go. Thanks babe.” I hugged her.
She nodded and walked down the block. Alan escorted me into the mall and we stood in line with the rest of the two hundred and forty-nine screaming fans.
I hadn’t been to a One Direction signing since I was eighteen and it still surprised me how many fans came out to see them. The band was still going strong after four years, the fan base bigger then ever. There was a camera crew going around, recording the screaming fans. The boys were sitting at a table, laughing and smiling, signing merchandise. I stood with my arms crossed scrolling through my phone, Alan standing right next to me.
I took a picture and sent it to twitter with the caption, it is so loud in here! I’m a very proud girlfriend and fan!
I smiled as we approached the line, Niall looked so clueless and I was pretty sure he hadn’t noticed I was here. I was actually very surprised that no one else had realized who I was. The girls were just too occupied with admiring the boy’s godly features, but I guess I had spoken too soon. I heard a girls voice not too far from me, “Hey! Niall’s girlfriend just tweeted that she’s here!”
Alan looked at me, “Nice. Now I have to actually make sure you don’t get mobbed.”
I laughed, “Hey! You’re doing your job!”
He pulled me closer to him, “Oh my god, I think that’s Esmeralda.” The girl behind us said.
I turned around and smiled, “Shh!”
Her eyes widened, “I went to your show! Oh my god, can I have your autograph?”
I nodded, “Sure doll.”
Alan momentarily let me go as I signed the top of this girls One Direction magazine. She held out her camera and asked for a picture. I agreed and made a silly face and she hugged me, “My dream is to become a performer just like you, you are my idol! Not because you’re Niall’s girlfriend, but I’ve never seen someone dance like you!”
“Aw thanks! Where do you dance?” I asked.
“I dance at one of the many programs in New York! I’m going to Juilliard, I just graduated high school.” She informed me.
“How nice, I didn’t attend a dance school, I had no money for it.” I said.
“I got in with a scholarship, otherwise I’d be doing something else.”
We moved up in line and I got into a conversation with her, we talked about dance and amazing performers from Broadway shows and who our favorite actresses were. I was glad I had a conversation with a fan who wouldn’t bitch about my relationship, she had even told me that Niall was always her favorite. I explained to her how this is just one big dream to me and I was just like her. I told her how I was a fan too and I had a blog, “I’ll give you my url if you promise not to tell anybody.”
“Oh my god, I wouldn’t tell a soul!”
I laughed, “I trust you then.” I typed in my blog name on notes in her phone and looked up at her, “I wanna see you dance sometime, could we exchange numbers?”
Her eyes lit up and she nodded like a spaz, “Yeah!” I smiled and took my phone out and handed it to her, she stared at the screen, “You and Niall are a really cute couple you know.” I thanked her and she admired my screen. It was the photo Niall had taken of us at the park. She handed my phone back as I finished giving her my last digit.
“My name is Bailey by the way.” She said.
“Nice to meet you Bailey, I’m Esmeralda, but call me Esme.” I shook her hand.
We were now close to the table and the girls around me were screaming out their names. A lot of girls had already taken note of me, freaking out about how pretty I was and others gave me a death glare. I ignored them as I showed my bracelet to security and began to take out my merchandise. Alan had allowed Bailey to join me; I guess Alan had done some arrangements so nobody else could come on the platform after me. Niall was the first at the head of the table and I handed him the CD, he hadn’t looked up yet as he handed a magazine to Harry.
“I’d appreciate it, if you’d sign it to Hermosa.” I grinned.
Niall’s headshot up and he gave me a puzzled look, “Es!” He laughed, “What are you doing here?”
“I just came to get some signatures from my favorite boy band!” I handed him a magazine and a DVD cover. He stood up to hug me and the girls went crazy. He kissed my cheek and before I knew it people were shouting out our ship name, “Nesme! Nesme! Nesme!” I laughed, “I guess I’ll see you after the performance, yeah?”
He nodded and I took my phone out, snapping a picture of us. He signed the rest of the merchandise as Bailey handed him a CD, “Oh babe! Look at this wonderful fan I met! Her name is Bailey and she’s a dancer too, she told me you were her favorite!” I introduced.
Bailey’s face went red and Niall stood up once again to hug her, “Nice to meet you Bailey, I guess Es is gonna have to take me to see you dance some time.”
Niall was such a sweetheart and I was pretty proud that I had probably made this girls life today. I guess my good deed had been achieved. I continued down the line and Harry squirted me with a water gun, “Oh how nice of you, getting wet for me.” Harry winked. I rolled my eyes and pushed his shoulder, “Don’t get my magazine wet you asshole.”
“I think I’d like to be called by my name.” He smirked.
Security took my merchandise off the table and handed it to me. I was escorted off the stage with Bailey and her friend behind me. Alan parted me from Bailey and she waved goodbye to me, her friend pointing her camera at my face.
I was escorted with a tight grip on my elbow from Alan and the help of another bodyguard as I attempted to enter the area for the performance. A lot of girls had pushed their way into me, screaming my name out. I stayed close to Alan in fear of the crazy teenagers and he led me to the first row, were I had a reserved seat. I sat dead center of the stage, where the five microphones were sitting at. I had never been more excited in my life, sure Niall was my boyfriend, but I loved the band as well, and I wanted to hear all of them sing.
Alan sat next to me with a backup bodyguard on my left side. I felt a bit diva-ish. I hummed and hung my head down low; I could feel the eyes staring at me. I scrolled through my phone and watched my mentions break a record. A new tweet every second was tagged with my twitter name, I sighed and ignored the hate messages, since that’s what the majority was about. I made small talk with Alan and we spoke to the bodyguard, which I learned his name was Andy. I laughed and enjoyed their jokes while the girls took their seats.
I adjusted myself as they chanted One Direction, my heart pounded, I needed to pee I was so excited. The boys came out from behind the platform and the girls went crazy. I could have lost my hearing. I giggled, smiling as Niall took his seat and blew me a kiss. The whole room was shaking as Liam spoke and introduced the first song they would be singing right off their new album. It was a sneak peek and no cameras were allowed to be out, the entire time they sang I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Niall.
He had such a passion when he sang, just like I did when I performed. My smile slowly disappeared as my mind thought of the hidden secret I had. If I had this baby, if the baby was Niall’s, I wasn’t too sure Niall would enjoy singing as much if he were worried about having a child at home. I surely knew that if I had this baby, I would be a crazed mother, never wanting to leave her side, giving up my dream and I wasn’t ready to let it go.
The song finished and the girls clapped and shouted, “Thank you for coming out today, it has been such a pleasure! We’ve met so many beautiful girls with the greatest smiles. Without all of your support, I’m not sure were One Direction would be at right now. The boys and I appreciate you all so much and we hope you love us, just as much as we love you!” Liam said.
I clapped, “We would also like to think our supporting girlfriends, who have not been here from the start,” Louis said pointing out in the front row. I hadn’t realized Eleanor could have been here, “You two have been such a great addition to the band and we enjoy your company so so much!” The girls applauded and I nodded. I felt like I was being honored and I was sort of not into it at the moment, not with these thoughts running through my head.
“New York has always been one of our favorite places, the city is beautiful and we’re always up to something!” Harry exclaimed, “Over the years the crowds of fans outside our hotels have been massive and you never fail to make us happy.”
“So we’ve been working hard for all you dedicated fans out there, on this album which has been in recording for over four months. You’ve seen our tweets and pictures; we have worked extremely hard, hoping you are just as proud of the new fifteen songs coming out this month on the twenty-second! Here is our new single!” Niall smiled.
Niall sang the beginning verse and he stared directly at me while he sang. I blushed and smiled at his remarks, he broke the contact as Harry took the next line and Niall looked out into the crowd, completely amazed. Two hundred and fifty girls had waited to see them, and four years later, the boys hadn’t let the fame get to them. It brought a smile to my face to see how happy Niall was on stage and I knew what I had to do.
.
.
.
end notes: another short chapter, typing up the next one, which will be a long one! so like this and i'll love you forever(:
Chapter TwentyOne.
Gennis and I stumbled into some restaurant and I knocked something over, shattering it. We looked at each other and nearly killed ourselves laughing.
“May I help you?” The greeter at the podium said. We straightened up and I cleared my throat
“Table for two.” She nodded suspiciously and started to show us to a table. We snickered behind her back the whole time. We sat down and she handed us two menus.
“Your waiter should be with you shortly.” She smiled fakely and walked off
“Skank bitch.” I said aloud. She turned around, then walked off mumbling. Gennis’ eyes widened
“KAI!!” He laughed loudly “What the fuck yo! She might get one of her friends to poison us or some shit!”
“Fuck that bitch!! Fuck you, pay me!!” I started to dance in my seat. Gennis just laughed
“Aw ma, I can’t wit you baby girl. So what you wanna order?”
“Nigga all they got is Chinese food!” He looked at me for a minute
“…What?” We started at each other and started laughing again. The waitress walked up and cleared her throat.
“May I take your order?” She asked politely
“Yeah, gimme some Chinese food.” I said
“Me too.” Gennis said. She looked confused
“Um, what kind of Chinese food?”
“The Chinese kind!!” Gennis started laughing again
“Miss, we sell different types of Chinese food, such as Shrimp Fried Rice, Shrimp Egg Foo Young, Crab Rangoon-”
“Lemme get all that.” I said
“Ok.” She wrote it down
“And what about you, sir?”
“Lemme get a #3.” He said pointing at the menu.
“Ooook, one order of Chicken and Broccoli. What would you like to drink?”
“I’ll take an ice cold water with a freshly sliced lemon wedge.” I said, trying to look professional
“Yeah, I’ll take that shit too.” Gennis said. I gasped
“Gennis! That was very inappropriate! My bad, my nigga.” I said to the waitree. She nodded and backed away awkwardly
“Shit nigga! Why you always fuckin’ up my friendships!!” I yelled at Gennis
“Friendship?!? Nigga you had an employee-customer relationship only!!!” I looked at him
“You deceitful bitch.” He laughed at me again
“Kai, I think you should sleep this off.”
“No. I never want this feeling to go away. I’M ON TOP OF THE WORLD BITCH!!”
“Kai, get off of the table!”