#charmesis

[thebalancedangel]

Aphrodite: …Is the Stygian boatman secretly handsome?

Ares, Iris and Hermes: “Secretly”…?

Aphrodite: *under her breath* You fucking Chthonic simps…

[thebalancedangel]

[One day Hermes finds Chelly in Iris’ bag, except it’s not Chelly but another tortoise that actually starts to get along with Chelly.

When they show Charon, he says:

“I think my sisters are telling us something.”

And Hermes replies:

“That tortoises are the cutest and we deserve to coo at cute tortoises?”

And Iris nods in agreement like Hermes said something profound while Charon laughs.

Charon meant to say a very poetic thing about Chelly finding a new tortoise friend is a symbol of Hermes and Iris’ growing love for each other, but he’s too amused by what Hermes said.]

[thebalancedangel]

[Iris bringing her darling son Pothos with her to the Underworld and it’s kinda obvious that Hermes and Charon are his actual fathers.

In fact, it’s Iris that he barely resembles at all.]

[thebalancedangel]

Hermes: You two have such big bosoms that I wonder how you can hug each other.

Charon: *They just get squished together and it feels very nice*

Iris: … D: …CHARON!!!

Iris: IS THIS WHY YOU HUG ME???

Charon: *Isn’t that why you hug me?*

Iris: >///< Y-yes but…also your strong arms holding me?

Hermes: …I am taking notes, by the way.

[thebalancedangel]

Iris: I don’t think Charon is perfect!

Iris: For example, I think that time Heracles glared him into giving him a free ride was pretty embarrassing of him.

Charon: *I was NOT “glared” into doing anything!*

Charon: *I just didn’t bother to argue with grown children!*

Hermes: Come on, boss.

Hermes: Even I run slower, slightly slower, when he looks at me like that.

[thebalancedangel]

[Iris and Hermes always look gorgeous when they’re invited at parties on Olympus.

It’s all thanks to Charon, obviously, who feels proud whenever Hermes cheekily tells him that they were the center of attention(which Iris says is false).

And then Charon becomes the center of Iris and Hermes’ attention. ;) ]

[thebalancedangel]

[Hermes loves it and hates it when Charon and Iris “trap”(=“keep him there to shower him with affection”)him.

Iris dramatically calls Hermes’ reluctance to stay with them after laying with them the price to pay to consort with him.

Charon rolls his eyes at the phrasing but also shares Iris’ feelings on the matter.]

[thebalancedangel]

Hermes: *sleeping soundly on Charon’s bed, head on a very luxurious and plush pillow*

Iris: …*knowingly glancing at Charon*

Charon: …*knowingly glancing at Iris*

Iris: You weren’t lying about my wings…

Charon: *nods*