#cheese puns

[kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon]

Gift fic for cheese! (Warning: is cheesy)

Rated Explicit | ~6K words | one-shot/complete

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN, CHEESE 🥰 And biggest thanks to @tansyogg for not only the inspired beta reading but 99% of the puns. If you like puns, especially cheesy ones, thank a Tansy with all your heart 🥰 If you don't like puns, get out of here! You'll be so sad!

CW/Tags:

South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), Anal Sex, Rimming, Temperature Play, specifically with piping hot baked brie in sensitive places, Kitchen Sex, Food Sex, food with sex, food in unsanitary places, come and brie, mentioned sex in other places around the cottage, attempts at dirty cheese talk, Cheese, cheese puns, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), ineffable refractory periods, Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley has a sexy robe, confusing maps, mention of Paul Hollywood, Love, Romantic Fluff

Summary:

That is the question. And the answer to that question (for Crowley) is NO.

Actual Summary:

Aziraphale is wild about brie. Crowley’s not. Aziraphale’s also wild about Crowley. Crowley’s fine with that. Set in the South Downs, post-series.

Read at the AO3!

(tagging @goodomensafterdark like a good goblin! Come tell cheesy jokes with us!)

[ask-charliemorningstar]

Thank you, thank you, you're all far too kind. I can't believe you think my cheesy jokes are so gouda! -🌈

[badtshirtdesign]

[multiverse-of-pizza-time]

Sounds cheesy.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Very funny.

I gotta be feta you, that was pretty gouda... but I am the mozza of cheese puns.

[sweet--but--psycho]

Oh and you were doing so well...

[croco5]

What do you call s cheese with curly hair??

.

.

Perm-esan.

😁😁😁

[trek-tracks]

Me: Today I will have normal conversations.

Also Me:

(and I’m sad that I wasn’t the one who came up with, “Edammit, Jim!” - thanks @aishahiwatari​)

[path-of-fire]

Aghadi: "We couldn't for the life of us look away from something so perfect." Caspian: "Something so rare and beautiful must be cherished at all costs." MC, burying her face further into Caspian's chest, groaning: "You two are so cheesy sometimes." MC lifts her head, kissing the underside of Caspian's chin before turn to Aghadi and doing the same thing. "Good thing I love cheese."

Aghadi: "Is it cheesy, my love, if it's the simple truth?"

Caspian: "At least we're still loved all the same. Even if we were likened to a dairy item."

Less Serious Conversation:

Aghadi: "What type of cheese would I be?"

Caspian: "You would be gouda."

Aghadi: "What? Why?"

Caspian: "Because you're gouda in bed."

Aghadi: "...."

Caspian: "...."

Aghadi: "Thank you? I suppose."

Caspian: "You're welcome. Now what would I be?"

Aghadi: "You would be mozzarella."

Caspian: "Why?"

Aghadi: "Because you're basic."

Alternatively:

Aghadi: "You would be cheddar."

Caspian: "Why?"

Aghadi: "Because you're always looking really sharp. Even though you're one of the dullest people I know."

(He would kiss him to show that he was joking, and then start complimenting him because he felt bad.)