Chiari Malformation. Year 2.
I'm now officially in my 2nd year of my chiari diagnosis. For the first 6 months it never fully registered to me because within weeks of diagnosis I found myself going through a speration and a divorce, so I was pretty much preoccupied trying to learn who I was etc. The next 6 months after that, I was learning if I needed to have brain surgery and how quickly the Chiari was progressing. My first year I did three to four mri scans, and than they decided let's wait a year now and rescan in a year, March will be a year, and I will travel back down to lubbock for the mri and results the same day.
I hate mri's my anxiety gets so bad, but this is my life. Either every 6 months or at least once a year.
My life is chronic neck pain, it's dizziness when I wake up, or feeling great when I wake up and suddenly becoming dizzy. My life is unpredictable from second by second of my day. It's feeling lightheaded underneath certain lights, it's randomly stumbling or falling for no reason at all, it's using a basket to steady myself in a store, some days I spent whatever time I have left in bed, I have back pain, weakness...a overall feeling of unwell. I stick by my spoons. Most days I only have half a spoon left. I don't talk about my chiari alot, I feel some people get tired of hearing it. But chiari is my life, I live with the pain and symptoms every day. It alters my life even though I try to not let it...
If you didn't know me, would you even know something so severe was wrong with me? I try to put on a happy face. I've learned with chiari comes depression, low energy, and a worthless feeling. I try to keep going and pushing through, and I will, this disease will not conquer me. I will still wake and try to be strong, because I have no choice but to be strong for that little boy of mine. I stand up with my head held high, telling Chiari Malformation to kick rocks!
