#child aus

[shittyaus]

Parenting AUs?

Sure! (didn’t really know what exactly you wanted, so i just kinda did whatever lol)

yes i’m old enough to buy this i have kids please let me buy the wine i promise i just have a young face

i never thought i’d have to say ‘don’t eat that’ so many times in my life

or ‘put your pants back on’

my kid has a crush on you and demands that i walk over here so they can talk to you yeah um hi this is awkward

“no you can’t have that ice cream” oh hey let me buy it for the kid *cue death glare from parent while other person is laughing manically*

‘STOP BITING THEM’

no no no one’s dying in the background, my kid’s just having a temper-tantrum, so what do you need?

i’m the trusted friend except i know NOTHING about kids/the irresponsible parent so we almost die 4 times, almost get arrested twice, and i bribe them with candy to not tell you what happened

I hope you enjoy these! :D

~Karissa

[thefearofcod]

Ishmael as a toddler with a stuffed whale. He leaves it somewhere and he doesn't know where so he goes crawling around looking for it, accompanied by his brother Queequeg.

OH OH OH NOOOOOOO NO CHILD AUS KILL ME

ISHMAEL LIKES TO POINT OUT ALL THE DIFFERENT BITS OF THE WHALE TO PEOPLE LIKE HERE LOOK THIS IS THE FLUKE, IT'S NOT CALLED A FIN BECAUSE WHALES DON'T HAVE FINS! THIS IS THE SPOUT AND IT'S HOW THEY BREATHE

Queegueg is the coolest brother ever, he carries tiny Ishmael around on his shoulders and Ishmael holds onto his hair and one day Queequeg gets fed up with the hair-pulling so he shaves the sides of his head and decides it looks cool and gets some dope scalp tattoos god he's so cool

[nextsummersseeds]

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