Carefully, crisis, or how to say "no"
We all love our children, we try to give them the best, most delicious and the most good. However, we can hear from a child one day, "go! You are bad! I do not love you! "Probably, many parents had to go through such a test.
Offensive words your child - this is one of the ways that he, along with tears, zamahivaniyami, throwing things or stubborn silence, expresses its rejection proihodyaschego.
Even a 1.5-year-old kid is guided entirely clear motives or goals, saying hurtful words.
What could be the reason for the appearance of these words?
The child himself is suffering from a similar attitude to yourself, you are mirroring
The child wants you to do something to achieve,
You may have something to offend him or hurt a child by someone else?
If the child begins to pointedly ignore you, you can not ignore it in response, or worse, say, find yourself another obedient boy / good girl who will not be himself so disgusting conduct. A child at this point you need, even if it does not show it. Little man can not understand that, instead of an attempt to take offense need to ask you for help, advice. You are an adult and you have to do to make the first step towards it, rather than closed and behave like another child hurt.
Perhaps a child provokes you, you provyaet to "strength" and exploring the boundaries of what is permitted.
In 1.5 - 3 years old child can begin to manipulate their loved ones, he knows that there are steps that lead to a "win" or to "defeat."
He checks how much you are willing to go to meet him when he begins to cry. Will you give him the TV remote, keys, phones, and won the interesting thing is that there is always high? And what would happen if a loud scream and start throwing things? Are you allowed in this case does not go to kindergarten, do not sleep during the day, there is a chocolate for breakfast instead of cereal?
The child was able to get his? An effective method is fixed at an unconscious level, causing the baby again and resort to such tricks again to achieve their goals.
It is painful to watch as a kid toiling in hysterics, but you need to stand firm. When the child calms down, explain to him why forbid this or that thing. The child must know what "no" and "no". After all, people and circumstances will not always go to meet him. From an early age must learn to quietly accept the restrictions and prohibitions: without such skills grew up the child will have to seriously. Do not rush to fulfill all children's desire to once again "earn his love" - the children love their parents unconditionally. The child will understand why you forbade him to do what he wanted, if you explain to him the reason.
One can cite an example from his own experience: tell unloved classes that have to do, because it is necessary. Such things are in everyone's life: if hysterics with the smashing his head on the floor every time, trying to avoid such situations, you have to spend a lifetime in hysterics.
Understand that demands competent child needs to understand their own borders - is only present requirements with respect, taking into account the views of the child.
3. Remember that you are teaching by example more than by words. Perhaps his words - it is a repetition of what he heard from you, perhaps his behavior - is to copy the behavior of your family members. If you say that you can not cross the road at a red light, but to do so themselves - it is unlikely the child will follow this rule.
The way you want to do - not always something you can do. It is this need to understand the child. Your example - this is what is in front of the eyes of a child constantly, not only when you conduct educational conversations with him.
Many mothers come as a shock to discover that the child is well fed, how they did it: "I taught him what is good and what is bad." Perhaps, and I taught, but when a parent acts contrary to his words, the child does not know what to believe.
