#children why

[queen-scribbles]

Gotta love when one of my muses decides to go all hostage taker--”You can write thing thing you’re REALLY trying to finish after you do this one thing for me real quick. But I’m not letting anyone else talk until my demands are met. :)”

and by “love” I mean 

[talesofthemusicroom]

Every so often, there comes a day when there seems to be something in the water, and every single class is just… batcrap looney tunes. This afternoon was such a day. For lo, the afternoon began with grade 3/4 and a conversation about last week’s substitute while I was at band camp. The students needed to blow off some steam about it, since there were a couple of miscommunications that resulted in some of them getting in trouble for things I would normally overlook, and I was fine with that. Or thought I was, until the student who is normally the nicest, kindest, most conscientious boy in the entire world stood up.

“I have a class announcement!” he proclaimed dramatically. Curious, and not expecting anything odd from this particular kid due to the aforementioned attributes (as well as the fact that he has regularly ended up in tears over the past three years at even the THOUGHT of disappointing an adult), I nodded permission.

“Dramatic Kid has a squishy bum!” he informed the room, pointing to the child beside him, and then bowed and sat back down. The class erupted, and I had to take a moment to stop myself cracking up with them, because of all the things I never expected…

Dramatic Kid, who comes by his nickname naturally due to his tendency to perform every small moment of his life as if he is trying to win the Shatner Award for Over Acting (and then some), of course HAD to respond.

“I also have a class announcement!” he declaimed, rising. “Kind Boy has a hard rock ice butt!”

Honestly, I wish I could say I kept it together, but at that point the entire class was just about in tears they were laughing so hard, so I just gave up and enjoyed the chaos. We did eventually get some music work done…

Not to be out done, Grade 1/2 immediately following were singing a nonsense song. The lyrics at one point of the song are “a peanut sat on a railroad track, its heart all a-flutter”. As I usually do when unfamiliar words or nonsense concepts come up, I stopped the song momentarily.

“Do peanuts have hearts?” I asked. “YES!” screamed 25 tiny humans. We were forced to pause for about 5 mintues for a highly unscientific debate about the parts of a peanut. This was followed shortly by my having to explain human evolution and the concept of the tailbone, because the next verse was about monkeys and several of them were trying to point to their “monkey tail” by shoving their finger more-or-less up their butt.

I got to finish the day out by walking past the office in time to hear the Assistant Principal questioning a couple of other teachers about why she had to step out to have a word with a bunch of grade 3/4s on their way down the hall giving each other “[descriptive word] BUM!” nicknames… On the plus side, once I explained, she had to go lock herself in her office for a while until she stopped laughing. Apparently I provide the entertainment for the entire building now.

And, just as a pleasant coda, the Fart Noise King (who was DEFINITELY one of the ringleaders of the chaos in the 3/4 class, as always) wandered into my office uninvited at the end of the day to announce “I JUST CONSUMED A TIMBIT!” and receive congratulations from both myself and the gym teacher on his use of such a big fancy word. He also went digging through our garbage and asked Gym Teacher if he could take some of hers home, since apparently he’s building a robot and it would be good for parts.

Teaching, there REALLY isn’t any other job like it…

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Weird to be up at 3 am for a real reason, not just dicking around

[ophyliakilledhamlet]

Why did misha happen again

[fellcarnate-a]

         ❝ Are my jokes really all that torturous? ❞

[indomitablepride]

@amitsuma​ said: Mitcha, pointing at a soot-covered Trunks while also caked in a thin layer of soot, ❝He's the one that triggered the explosion, I swear!❞

He was only gone for a few minutes-- just a few short minutes to gather supplies for an evening cookout. Now, there were small pits of fire all over the yard that was about ready to set its course and spread like wildfire.

❝I don’t care who started it-- just do something about that!❞ He said... rather pointedly, right towards the flames that were slowly beginning to spread. 

[ofinfiniteuniversesa]

Abigail: You know what we should do?

Adam: Hmmmm?

Abigail: Punch God in the face.

Adam: I'm listening