YEAH exactly! This is why I LOVE getting to write with folks where the dynamic is Nuanced TM enough that like... for example: Nix's Dream is an abusive piece of shit to my Corinth. That's just a fact. But they have known each other long enough, and have a relationship complex enough, that Corinth can take advantage of them and manipulate them in ways that no-one else would be able to. There's introspection and there's an exploration of the motivations and feelings of BOTH characters, no matter how heinous Dream's behaviour is. THAT'S the shit I like. I think most people who have been in any kind of toxic, difficult, or abusive dynamic can agree that it is very rarely black and white, that you can be in a screaming match with someone one night then laughing with them over dinner the next. That your feelings about an abuser can be complicated - and so can their feelings about you, because monstrous or not, every human being has the same level of interiority and emotional depth as you do.
Obviously, there are situations where it really is just black and white, both in real life and in fiction. I'd argue that Astarion's dynamic with Cazador actually falls under this in canon, which is exactly why I incorporate my own headcanons to it: there's no real nuance to it otherwise. Just kind of "he had me tortured and I was his slave and I hated him the entire time" and you're left to fill in most of the blanks yourself. And that can be fun, but like... probably not for long? Even if I were writing Astarion in this scenario I'd get bored, let alone being the poor fucker who has to write Cazador.
Like, the Whump TM and The Noncon TM is fine, but. I'd like some nuance about it. I'd like it to be more than just "your character hurts my character and mine is sad about it" or vice versa - for both of our sakes!
