A selection of videogame bird guys! Was just going to be Link and Rawk Hawk but I got carried away and added more.
From left to right: Chocobo-Cloud (my own design), Rito Link (again, my design), Rawk Hawk (Paper Mario TTYD), Epsilon Eagle (Alien Soldier), Red Baron (Sky Kid), Guardian (Elden Ring Nightreign)
About the latest chapter in my silly little 'cloud is actually a chocobo' fic. Little baby Cloud thinks Barret is attacking his new friend, Marlene, and goes on the offensive.
His beak is sharp
His sight a bit sh*tty
Don't be scary
Or he'll CHOMP on a t*tty
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Hi y’all, I’m back on my bullshit again. Have chapter 1 of my Time Traveling Chocobo Cloud Strife.
0-0-0-0-0
When Gaea had said she was sending him to an alternate universe— done to rid his own world of Sephiroth’s anchor to him and root out the infection of JENOVA in this branch of the Lifestream as well— this was definitely not what he had anticipated.
He couldn’t say for sure exactly what he had expected— his adult mind being thrown back into this younger body, or maybe his whole self being flung backwards in time and space, with or without his resources— but this wasn’t it.
That being said, perhaps he should have. His life had been seemingly nothing but a series of cosmic jokes up to this point, why would that change now?
Cloud puffed up his newly acquired plumage in agitation, though at this point it was no more than soft, fluffy down. This was absolutely ridiculous. He attempted to get to his feet and hobble away from the nest of tiny chirping chicks, but before he got far a large wing descended, blocking his way, then scooted him back towards the rest. He looked upwards with indignation, only to be met with the face of a yellow chocobo that Cloud would have paid good gil for back during his time breeding chocobos.
Just… Why, Gaea… Why?!
0-0-0-0-0
Cloud stood beside a lake next to the field the herd had settled in for the day. So far they had mostly gotten water from streams and creeks, and the moving water made seeing a clear reflection impossible. But there was no avoiding it now.
To his best calculations, it had been about three months since he had come to in his current predicament. From his personal experience with chocobos, he should only start getting his adult plumage within the next month, and be approximately 4 feet tall.
That had not been his rate of growth.
It had become obvious that things would be different for him well before the one month mark, where he had reached a size more similar to the 3 month olds in the creche. By two months, he looked like he was ready to leave the brood permanently, and now at three months he looked to have almost reached his full size.
Obviously, the other chocobos had reacted with some confusion to his peculiar nature. Instinct undoubtedly told them they should still be caring for him, but what they saw with their own eyes said something different. Eventually, while they hadn’t forced him away from the herd, they began to keep their distance. If he approached, they quickly found their way to a more comfortable distance away from him and settled back down.
While marginally better than his treatment from the residents of Nibelheim, being born the outcast twice was galling. It was starting to feel a bit personal at this point.
He bent down closer to the water to get a better look.
Seeing his reflection fully for the first time felt like how he imagined an animal incapable of recognizing itself in a mirror must feel. He recognized what he was looking at, but it didn’t sync with his own self perception. But all the denial in the world wasn’t going to change his circumstances.
He huffed in annoyance. He had an impressive head of golden plumage. The fact that it closely resembled the look of his human self’s hair was just salt in the wound.
Cloud turned away and reached back to preen at some wayward golden feathers, mentally grumbling to himself. One of the chicks that hadn’t learned to steer clear of him yet had tumbled into him as he was laying down earlier, and something had felt out of place ever since.
What even was his life at this point.
0-0-0-0-0
While occasionally he had thoughts about Gaea’s quest and the need to save the planet from Shinra and Jenova’s pollution, overall he saw no point to dwell on it.
He was a chocobo. And from what he could tell, he was stuck somewhere on the northern continent.
If Gaea had wanted more expedited progress she should have put in a bit more effort on his species selection and geographic location.
It was at the five month mark that his situation changed.
There had been a few intrepid explorers and local breeders who had taken one look at his golden plumage and thought to make a quick buck. Unfortunately for them, Cloud Strife may be a chocobo now, but he was a Nibelheim born stubborn bastard first, who had taken Sephiroth himself down a number of times by sheer will and a sharp blade. So far, his talons had substituted nicely for the second bit.
But what none of those previous adventurers had possessed was a Chocobo Lure.
“Get that hood on him or we’ll lose him, Jack!”
‘Damnit damnit damnit…!’ thought Cloud, as he attempted to slash at the man who had a lead around his neck. But he had come at Cloud from the side and chocobo joints just didn’t bend that direction.
Despite his still very human intellect and perception, apparently his physiology was still susceptible to the lures, same as any chocobo.
“Hit him with the lure again! I’ve almost got him!”
Cloud yanked his neck to the side, attempting to both avoid the cast and yank the man at his side off balance.
He failed at both.
0-0-0-0-0
“Come on! Come on, boy! Just walk into the pen and you can have all the gysahl greens you want!”
‘Fuck you and your gysahl greens, I’m not breeding that bird,’ thought Cloud, with a huff as he turned away from the man attempting to entice him into a breeding enclosure.
“KWEEEHH!” called the bright yellow chocobo the breeders were trying to pair him with.
“See, boy! She really wants to meet you! Why don’t we go say ‘hi’?”
Cloud turned toward the man and leaned down close as if considering his words.
“That’s it! Good b—”
“WAAAAAARK!!!” screamed Cloud.
The man fell back on his ass, right in a pile of droppings.
0-0-0-0-0
The months flowed by like sap dripping down a tree trunk. Every so often the ranchers would make another try at breeding him when they caught a good hen, but as time went on their attempts became fewer and far less hopeful. Cloud knew the likelihood of them simply letting him go was low, but after the many bites, kicks and the general chaos he’d caused them, he had hope that they might put him up for sale soon, allowing him a chance to make a break for it.
Then finally one day, his time had come.
“I have a gorgeous bird for you, sir! A strong, golden chocobo that will make for a fine ride, able to handle any terrain— rock, snow or dunes!” said the farmer from outside the barn.
“A golden chocobo, huh? Surprised you’re willing to sell it, especially at the price you quoted…” said another voice— good natured, but with a hint of suspicion to the tone. The ‘what’s wrong with the bird’ went unsaid.
Strange… that voice almost sounded familiar.
“Yeah well, we caught him to breed of course. Problem is we’ve had him for months now, and I’ve never seen a cock less interested in a hen. He really is a strong, healthy bird, with quite the personality… but if he’s not a breeder we’re better off making room in the pens for one that is,” said the farmer, answering the unasked question.
“HA! Fair enough,” said the mystery man as the barn door was opened.
Cloud’s brain short circuited. It was the only excuse for the the next thought he had—
‘Fair is right, I guess.’
He huffed at himself and shook his head. Truly, his life was one cosmic punchline after another…
Seeing as Zack Fair had apparently just bought him.
0-0-0-0-0
“Alright, Birdy! Let’s get you saddled!”
Zack moved to throw the saddle onto his back, but Cloud side stepped it easily.
“Uh… Ok, let’s try that again.”
Cloud side stepped again.
After three more tries the two of them had danced a little circle into the ground below them.
“Come on, man!” Zack groaned, dropping the saddle onto the ground. “What am I doing wrong, huh? What do you want, Birdy?”
Cloud huffed at the name, his feathers fluffing irritably.
“Don’t like the name?” asked Zack, sounding confused.
Cloud nodded.
Zack’s eyes widened.
“Woah… you understood the question?”
Cloud tilted his head, giving Zack his most exasperated expression.
“Hey! Don’t look at me like that! I may not know that much about chocobos, but I’ve never seen one be able to answer direct questions before now. So yeah, I’m kinda shocked.”
Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes.
“You’re a sassy little shit, aren’t you? ‘He has personality’ they said… guess they meant you’re an asshole!” Zack laughed.
In response, Cloud cuffed him upside the head with his wing.
“ACK! Hey! No hitting! Fine, I won’t call you Birdy. But you still need a name, seeing as the farm didn’t have a name down for you. Any preferences? Speak now or forever hold your peace!”
“WARK,” Cloud grouched. If he just had some way to communicate…
“Hmm… how ‘bout Spike, for all those fluffy spikes on your head and your delightful personality?”
Cloud stopped and blinked at Zack. All the annoyance and frustration at the situation bleeding out of him from the hit of surprised nostalgia.
For the first time since the man had showed up an hour ago, Cloud let himself really look at Zack and feel the reality of the situation— this was Zack. His Zack. Aerith’s Zack.
Zack was alive. He was right here, living and breathing free air. Or as free as one ever was, working for Shinra. His uniform pegged him as a SOLDIER 2nd Class.
Not for the first time, Cloud cursed his lack of an accurate set of memories from his time at Shinra. All he could really say for certain was that the Wutai War would still be in full swing, Genesis Rhapsodos was still probably amongst Shinra’s 1st Class Commanders…
And Sephiroth was still sane. Or at least as sane as he ever was. Despite what his corrupted memories had made him believe, he had never really known the man before his fall from grace. Had he always been a little crazy? Probably. Considering the environment the man had been raised in, Cloud wasn’t even sure he blamed him for being a little off kilter. But how much of that sadistic insanity that Cloud had come to know so intimately was born from Sephiroth’s own horrors, and how much had been fed into him by JENOVA? For all that Sephiroth had called Cloud a puppet, by the end the man himself had seemed more puppet than the god he claimed to be.
These were all things he had pondered over the last few months, seeing as he didn’t have much else to occupy himself with. But until now, it had all been hypothetical thoughts.
Zack was the first solid evidence of his trip through time, and the implications and opportunities brought by it.
Ugh… who was he kidding. He was a Hel damned chocobo. He didn’t even have thumbs, how was he supposed to stop all the horrors that were incoming?
But looking at Zack… he knew he would try. He owed his friend that much.
Guess he wasn’t going to be making his great escape after all.
Zack had picked the saddle back up, and stood watching to see what Cloud was going to do.
Cloud stepped forward and gently nudged Zack’s hand with his head.
“Kweh.”
“You ready to give this a go, Spikey?”
Cloud nodded.
“Alright! I still can’t believe you understand everything I’m saying. It’ll make this trip a little less lonely though.”
0-0-0-0-0
Apparently Zack had been sent on a mission to check out some strange readings near the Northern Crater from a few months ago. He said that while it wasn’t considered a high priority mission, it was decided that even with there only being a small chance that the Wutai forces could be up to something, it was worth it to investigate. But no SOLDIER lower than 2nd Class could really be sent in due to the weather conditions and the strength of the area monsters.
After having heard all the details and the general timeline, Cloud was pretty sure the ‘strange readings’ were related to when he hatched.
Nothing for it though, they would still need to head back up to the crater to have a look around. Unfortunately, Zack apparently had the sense of direction of a blind cactuar.
Cloud stood and clucked with impatience as Zack checked the map on his PHS yet again, with a pinched look on his face.
“I think I might have missed a turn at some point… but that doesn’t make any sense…”
Cloud craned his neck back to get a look at the map. What he saw had him rolling his eyes.
There was clear X over a particular spot just south of the Northern Crater. Right where the chocobo nesting grounds were.
He was definitely the source of the strange readings. He was also now 100% certain they were going in the wrong direction.
“We should probably just backtrack to be— HOLY SHIT SPIKE WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”
Zack grabbed the reins as Cloud took off in the direction he knew they needed to go. He attempted to pull Cloud back into line, but Cloud had better things to do than spend two weeks wandering the northern continent just to ultimately stare at some broken eggshells.
“Spike! Stop! Damnit, where are you taking us?!”
After about ten minutes of unsuccessfully trying to slow Cloud down, Zack seemed to give up and decide to just let it happen. After a couple of hours, Zack started to really look around and compare it to the map on his PHS.
“I’ll be damned… You actually put us on the right trail…” said Zack with a note of wonder in his voice.
‘No shit,’ thought Cloud, but all he could do was give an exasperated, “Wark.”
“Alright, alright… No more questioning the overly intelligent and noble steed,” said Zack with a laugh, lifting one hand in surrender.
Cloud reached back and nipped his ankle.
“Hey! Stop that!”
“WARK!”
“God you’re a prickly bastard… I should bring you back to Wutai and give you to Genesis. You two would either kill each other or be best friends, I can’t tell which. Eh, maybe Angeal instead, he’s used to dealing with Genesis, so you’d fit right in.”
Cloud blinked as he continued on, listening. He knew those names, but not from personal experience. Genesis Rhapsodos and Angeal Hewley had been the subjects of ‘Project G,’ the sister horror to Sephiroth’s ‘Project S’ that Cloud got drug into.
“Sephiroth never rides a chocobo if he can avoid it. I don’t think he likes trusting his life to an animal capable of kicking a man’s head off his shoulders.”
That would certainly be one way Cloud could deal with that problem. Wonder if it would work?
“Anyway, after I wrap up here I’m supposed to swing back down to Wutai to relieve one of the commanders. I was thinking about requesting to have you brought down with me. Normally I’d just drop you off at a one of our bases up here, but you are clearly not just any ol’ bird, and it would be a shame to see you waste away up here in Icicle.”
Looks like he found his ticket back into the thick of things. Cloud never thought he’d see the day that he’d be happy to see Sephiroth again, but life truly was stranger than any fiction he’d ever read.
0-0-0-0-0
“So Spike, how do you feel about racing?”
“Waaaaark…”
“Don’t bite me, I was just asking! Figured you wouldn’t be interested. Bet you would do well though. Just think of the gil we could make!”
“WARK!”
“Alright! No racing! Obviously you aren’t interested in the fairer kind of your species… though honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever actually seen a prettier chocobo than you before, so you might be the fairest one of them all— OW! DON’T BITE!”
0-0-0-0-0
“…there’s Kunsel, who’s a fellow 2nd Class Soldier, though he acts more Turk than SOLDIER half the time. I’ve wondered if he wasn’t some Turk’s kid, but at this point I’m afraid to ask.”
Zack was telling him about his friends and acquaintances at Shinra. Every now and then Cloud would give a verbal indicator that he was listening to encourage him on. Zack was probably just filling the silence, but Cloud was just enjoying hearing him talk and laugh freely, so very unlike his memories from the labs. It also was helping to fill in the blank spots from this time period.
“And of course there’s Angeal. I’m an only child, but he’s a lot like what I would hope having a big brother is like. He’s strong of course, like every SOLDIER, but he’s also gentle and has the goddess’ patience, which is good since he’s apparently been having to deal with Commander Rhapsodos’ dramatic ass since they were kids. Angeal and I met on a mission in Wutai shortly after I became a 2nd. It was supposed to be a hit on a Wutai guerrilla squad, but like two seconds in it became clear that the intel was wrong and it was actually an orphanage. Our squad was mostly Shinra troopers and a few 3rds. The lead SOLDIER was a fellow 2nd named Bickson, but since I’d only just been promoted he had seniority. He commanded us to complete the mission as ordered— to wipe everyone in the building out.”
Cloud’s heart sunk. He didn’t remember any of this… had Zack ever talked to him about Wutai last time?
“The order didn’t sit right with me. I know we’re in a war, but indiscriminately wiping out children isn’t what anyone should choose, let alone a SOLDIER. Even if the world thinks we’re monsters, we owe it to ourselves and everyone unable to defend themselves, to hold ourselves to a higher standard than that. Maybe especially so…
“Anyway, I refused to follow the order. Bickson tried threatening me, and when that didn’t work ordered the others to do it instead while he dealt with me. My body moved before I really thought about it, and the next thing I know I have Bickson face down on the ground, knocked out and I’m ordering the others to fall back.
“I was absolutely certain I’d end up in jail or locked up in Science for my insubordination. When a trooper comes up against those charges they are discharged with prejudice. But I’ve never heard of a SOLDIER being discharged, I’m not even sure how that would work. Our biology pretty much requires Shinra’s involvement for maintenance, it’s not like they can just let us run amok. So yeah, even as I was grounding Bickson’s face into the dirt, I figured that was the end of it for me.
“I called the situation in to our squad’s Base Camp and was told to hold while a senior SOLDIER was dispatched to our location. I’ll tell ya, I was sweating bullets the whole time, and it was only partly because of the tropical forest we were in.
“Then Angeal comes wandering out of the forest, one of the ‘Holy Trinity’ of the SOLDIER 1sts. And the first thing he says to me? “Good job, SOLDIER. You’ve preserved your honor.”
There’s a quiet pause as Zack reflects on his memory. Cloud continues trotting, but gives a quiet “kweh” of encouragement.
“Anyway, after that Angeal tracked me down and asked if I’d like to spar. I said yes, because of freaking course I’d like to spar and learn from a legend like him. Apparently he had been gauging my skill level and found me promising, because ever since he’s taken me on as a mentee. Eventually he ended up telling me that what caught his eye was my sense of what he calls a SOLDIER’s honor, something he’s worked to nurture in our corp. It’s pretty damn hard though while in an active war zone.”
The lapse back into a momentary silence, before Zack gives a cough and pulls out his water canteen.
“I’ve been talking your ear off this whole time, wish I could ask you questions though,” said Zack, as he leaned forward and stroked his hand down the side of Cloud’s feathery neck.
“Kweh,” Cloud called back softly. Zack might not be able to understand him, but he wanted him to know he was listening.
“Hey… you make two different sounds sometimes. That ‘kweh’ sound and that other one—”
“WARK”
“Yeah, that one! What if we used ‘kweh’ for yes and the other for no? Can’t really get very deep with it, but can maybe give some simple answers?” asked Zack, sounding excited.
And honestly? Yeah, that was a great idea. Why didn’t Cloud think of that?
“Kweh,” answered Cloud, bobbing his head.
“Hell yeah! Ok, so first question— were you dropped in mako or something as a chick? Because its honestly really weird you’re so smart. Not that chocobos are dumb or anything, but lets be real here— you understand a lot more words than any chocobo I’ve encountered, and you read a map.”
Cloud rolled his eyes, even if Zack couldn’t see it. “Wark!”
“Alright, then do you know why you know so much?”
“Kweh.”
“Alright, keep your secrets,” laughed Zack. “So this place we’re going… do you know it?”
“Kweh.”
“Nice… is it safe?”
Cloud cocked his head to the side. It wasn’t too dangerous clearly, considering the chocobos nested there. But what was safe to a chocobo wasn’t necessarily safe for a human.
“Kweeeeeh…” verbalized Cloud slowly, the note pitching at the end with obvious hesitance.
“Umm… not sure what to make of that answer, buddy,” Zack laughed nervously. “Whatever, we’ll find out when we get there. Now for a more serious question. Since you have no interest in female chocobos, does that mean you like male chocobos instead— OWWW!”
0-0-0-0-0
It took them a solid week and a half to finally reach the nesting grounds, courtesy the usual awful weather around the Great Glacier. And the closer they got, the more nervous Zack seemed to be. Despite his flippancy when discussing his mission, clearly he was expecting something to show up and turn things sideways.
Fortunately for him, he was riding that something the whole way there, and Cloud was feeling very generous at the moment.
Of course, Zack knew nothing of this and had grown increasingly tense as they approached the area just south of Gaea’s Cliff. Then eventually, the tenseness turned to confusion.
“Not to look a gift chocobo in the beak, but I was expecting something a bit more… treacherous around here. The only monsters I’ve had to fight off so far was the occasional frozen nail and that group of bandersnatches… And I have yet to see signs of anything else that would cause unusual readings in the area…” Zack said, clearly having gotten way more used to talking to Cloud.
“Kweh,” Cloud said, tossing his head in the direction of the system of caves where Cloud knew the chocobos nested.
“Yeah, that’s where my map says we’re going. Hopefully things will make more sense once we get there.”
‘I doubt it,’ thought Cloud. This shit was still confusing him, and he had the ‘privilege’ of Gaea’s divine knowledge.
Before long they were stopped at the mouth of a cave that Cloud knew ran deep below them, but they would only need to go a few yards in before they would find what Cloud knew they were looking for, seeing as all that lay deeper were pools and veins of Lifestream that ran plentiful under the northern tundra.
Zack dropped down off of the saddle, tying the mostly useless reigns around the pommel.
“I’d tie you up somewhere out here to wait, but something tells me you’re going to make up your own mind on whether to follow me in or not,” Zack said, laughing.
“Kweh,” said Cloud as an affirmative.
“Suit yourself, but keep behind me just in case, and if something attacks, please come back out instead of hanging around? I really don’t fancy a walk all the way back to Wutai because you decided to try and be a badass.”
Cloud huffed, but could understand Zack’s rationale. That would be a really long and cold walk.
They continued on in for several yards— Zack with his sword in hand and glowing eyes looking for any signs of movement, Cloud with an absolute disregard for subtlety— before the notable crunching underfoot finally drew Zack’s gaze downward. He gave the surrounding area a quick once over before he squatted down, picking up a shard of an egg shell from the ground to inspect. After a moment, he stood and started walking around the area, noticing the large amount of similar shell leavings around the space.
“Is this… a nesting ground?”
“Kweh!”
“For what, I wonder…”
Cloud spread his wings and flapped them, getting Zack’s attention. Once he had it, he walked over to one of the old nests, scooted the empty egg shells into a pile, then rested on them as if brooding.
“Are you… these are chocobo eggs? This is a chocobo nesting ground?”
“Kweh!”
“Are you shitting me? We came all this way to investigate a chocobo nest?!”
Cloud bobbed his head, a chirping noise in his throat taking the place of human laughter as he saw the flabbergasted expression on Zack’s face.
“There’s no way I can go back and tell them the readings came from a chocobo nesting ground. I will look like a complete idiot. They will assume I flubbed the mission! None of this makes any sense anyway, what kind of craziness can come from a herd of chocobos?”
Cloud tilted his head as he stared at Zack as incredulously as he could with no eyebrows, giving a low, “Waaaark…”
But Zack was too far gone into his thoughts to catch Cloud’s hint.
“There has to be something else around here, something to explain the readings, or at the very least something I can blame the readings on…,” Zack muttered as he began to pace.
Cloud watched him make a few circuits, a claw tapping as he thought on the situation. It was true, there was no way Shinra would buy that whatever readings they’d received had been caused by a chocobo. If he wasn’t smack dab in the center of the situation he’d think it was ridiculous as well, and he’d lived through Sephiroth’s… everything.
Hmm… those mako pools will be useful after all.
“Kweh!” Cloud called, moving towards the back of the cave.
“Huh? Where are you going?”
Cloud didn’t pause, he knew Zack would follow.
When he’d hatched in this cave all those months ago, it had taken a while before he’d managed to slip the hen in charge of the creche. But he knew better than to try and escape the cave. Just from the chill wind that occasionally blew through the cavern he could tell that they were located somewhere on the Northern Continent, and even during the spring and summer the weather here was not to be trifled with, never mind the local monster population. So instead he had wandered further in to investigate the tunnels that ran below them. It had been a fair assumption that whatever lay down there, it couldn’t be too concerning seeing as this was a yearly nesting spot for the local chocobo herds.
He had been right of course, but what he had found may be their saving grace in this situation.
Mako was known to be pretty temperamental after all.
“Wow,” whispered Zack, his eyes going wide as saucers as they turned the corner into the wide chamber of mako pools and crystals that grew from every surface, like a fluorescent geode. Coming from a mako rich area like Gongaga, Zack would have grown up seeing mako pools and the occasional crystal clusters, but no where else really compared to the majesty and magnitude of the Northern continent’s Lifestream resources.
“Well, that might help explain whatever happened. At the very least its something I can report that won’t get me sent to Science for ‘recalibration,’” said Zack. But after a moment he turned back around to Cloud, his look of mild confusion having returned, “Wait, how did you know this was down here, Spike?”
Again, Cloud tilted his head and gave an exasperated, “Waaark…”
And this time, Zack caught on quick.
“W— Were you born here?” asked Zack.
“Kweh,” answered Cloud. If he’d had hands he would have slow clapped.
“Huh… you sure you weren’t dropped in mako back then?”
Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth have to explain themselves to a public security officer for damaging equipment in a public park. Apparently, they can't just destroy stuf??? This is a new concept for them, but the officer is willing to let them go with only a warning.
Except, Genesis is very drunk, and he has things to prove.
Genesis: Listen herrrr, you chocobobo pipsqueak bird, I. Am Genesis FUCKing Rhapsodos, and I can *hic* light benefhes on fire if I WANT.
Angeal: *hic* please don't listen to him Cloud, we'll pay for the damages.
Sephiroth: We will? Why? Genesis did fired exploded it *pointing like a toddler at his sibling*
Cloud: Sir, you "did fired exploded" the fountain. And Hewley "did peed on" it first, so now there's flaming makofied biohazard all over the surrounding area. Yes, you will all be paying. And you will all be returning with me to the station.
Genesis: NO YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, PIGGIE
Cloud: ...you're literally Shinra dogs, but... *trips Genesis and steals his materia*
Genesis: *flailing dramatically on the ground because he's caught in his own coat*
Angeal: Genny, did you fall? I got bandaids *searches pockets* *starts crying* I don't got bandaids, I'm sorry Genny!
Sephiroth: *starts drifting off*
-----------------
At the station
-----------------
Kunsel: I understand you literally dragged Rhapsodos here and Hewley followed like a sad puppy, but how did you get SEPHIROTH?!
Cloud: *blinks the laser sight on his gun*
Sephiroth: *POUNCE*
Kunsel: ...don't let the Turks know.
Genesis: YOU'RE NOT MY MOM, CHOCOBO!
Cloud: No, but I called him.
Genesis: psshhhaww, my mom's a GIRL, SUCKER
Lazard: Hello, I'm here to pick up...oh, hello Kunsel, Strife.
Genesis: shitshitshitshitshit
Angeal: haha Genny, guess someone's in troooooouuuhble! I don't answer to Lizard!
Cloud: good, because I didn't call him for you.
Zack: Howdy folks!
Angeal: shitshitshitshitshit
Zack: I am very disappointed in you, young man *starts taking pictures*
Sephiroth: *draping himself over Lazard like a hairy coat cat* meow
------------------
Cloud, Lazard, and Kunsel are discreet, everyone else is scared or was sloshed, and Zack didn't overhear.
But every now and then, when a certain ginger is getting a little spicy, one of CLK can be heard whispering a single word, "Genny".
