Hey, @sildih, hey @pudgy-puk, hey @chocographs. I know all three of you have me blocked, so I cannot directly respond to the callout post Terpy made about my girlfriend and that the three of you are cross-promoting. I fucking see you.
It is disingenuous to say the least to treat the scenario that played out over the last few months as if it was my girlfriend browbeating and covertly bullying you out of complaining about Stormblood out of some kind of Garlean-loving racist mania, which you have implied if not outright stated in quite a few posts on twitter and tumblr since you unceremoniously blocked both of us. I’ve been staying quiet, and so has Jo, because this didn’t seem like something appropriate to drag into the public light.
This isn’t going to be a point by point refutation of your post. That’s giving you far too much credit.
Because what happened was you treating my partner and I like a captive audience for all of your personal grievances with FFXIV’s narrative direction. We knew you were unhappy with the portrayal of Ala Mhigo and Ala Mhigans. We knew you massively resented non-Highlander characters for their popularity and resented your own non-Highlander characters for their popularity, and you resented how the story gave any time or attention to Doma. You hated that Garleans were permitted sympathetic portrayal. I say this because you told us this repeatedly. On tumblr. On twitter. In Discord chats. Over voice chat. Over our FC and linkshell chats. It was the only thing in the game you more or less talked about other than your favorite NPC since the launch of Stormblood, and while I can respect the fact that you were deeply displeased with the way the game handled your favorite setting and subject, this was what caused Jo and I to reach the point we did with you.
The point we tried to make was that you’re not obligated to play the game. You’re not obligated to try and enjoy it. Neither of us were here to tell you that your takes on the game were wrong. But that the fucking game was making you miserable for months, and you were getting so little in the way of enjoyment out of it that we genuinely thought that you ought to have stepped away from it. God knows that it’s possible to fall out of love with a work of fiction. And what you could have done was unsubscribed. You could have networked with other dissatisfied fans of Ala Mhigo and actually talked to them about your shared thoughts on how the game handled the narrative. And despite what you might think, they do exist in the community and I’m pretty sure you are or were mutual followers with at least a few of them. You could have focused on a work of fiction that you actually enjoy and don’t find miserable or problematic to engage with on the level that Stormblood did, but you didn’t. You didn’t seek out people who felt similarly.
You treated Jo and I like a captive audience. Because we were trying to be friends with you, and help you deal with your loneliness and alienation from the community. But as it turns out, it became increasingly hard to enjoy spending any time around you being incessantly negative about nearly everything in FFXIV. We didn’t want to turn conversations into arguments. It’s not something either of us enjoy! I don’t know if you did. I don’t think it matters. But I don’t think the fact that you became a constant presence of negativity and passive-aggression in our lives is something you even considered. We tried so fucking hard to be polite for so fucking long and you didn’t consider the fact that you digging yourself into a hole of misery and sourness about the game in more or less every social media post and conversation for months was something that could have been unenjoyable or alienating to your friends. Considering how quickly you dropped us, it’s a little hard to feel like you ever saw us as friends to begin with.
But I guess it’s easier to paint my partner as an evil, racist harpy who told you that you weren’t allowed to be upset about Ala Mhigo anymore, instead of a human being who finally decided she’d had enough of being treated as an open forum for all of your Stormblood criticism with zero room for her own thoughts on the matter, lest you get even more upset that the person you opened up to not treat your word as law. That was never the fucking point. The fucking point is that we were tired of being what felt like your sole audience for all of this commentary, that you couldn’t step away from the game and focus on something else that could actually make you happy for once, and that you openly resented the fact that we enjoyed Stormblood. That we liked it more than Heavensward- don’t think that I haven’t forgotten you getting passive-aggressive when I opened up about my Heavensward criticism on my twitter! I genuinely could never tell if you saw us more than a couple of goddamn wooden posts to talk at to validate everything you had to say about the game, regardless of what we might have thought.
Also, really cool that you call Jo out for having a black character in-game while not being black herself- I suppose it’s only bad when it’s a person who isn’t vocally critical of Stormblood, and not when it’s one of your “good” friends?
Just, bye. I don’t even have anything to say to you, Teg and Chesca. But I see you there. And I haven’t forgotten how you abused my trust and confidence and used me for emotional support that I couldn’t afford to provide with my life circumstances. I know you’re not fucking unbiased.
Iif you liked or reblogged @sildih’s original callout, fuck off forever. You don’t get to uncritically accept a callout post about my girlfriend and stick around on my blog.
So it’s mentioned in brief in this thingy I wrote last year, but to elaborate a bit on that particular instance: Nadja was actually really nervous in that moment which is a rare and uncomfortable feeling for her. Owyne had been talking about all that was expected of him and what he was looking forward to now that he was part of the Sworn and Nadja thought it was over. That he had duties and an image to uphold and that she would no longer have a place in his life. And even though it was something she had been coming to terms with, in that moment she didn’t want to let him go, and so she acted on impulse.
They both have this thing where they’re so considerate of each other’s feelings that they dance around their own and tend to hold back, so that was the first time Nadja expressed herself so strongly with him. She thought it was too much and had a moment of panic but Owyne was into it! And more than anything wants her to be open with him so it all worked out. Someday I’d like to do that moment justice in comic format. Someday!
chocographs replied to your post: the hardest thing about sharing that drawing...
You shouldn’t HAVE to be worried over other people’s judgement, but that’s not at all the same as ‘shouldn’t be worried’. Your concern is valid, hurting nobody (and maybe even helping people, because you’re keeping the comfort levels of others in mind so much), and not something appropriate for others to be judgemental about. Protecting yourself is important.
Thank you. I don't want to be the kind of creator who puts out whatever and everyone else just has to #dealwithit. I also don't care to be mocked for being considerate, regardless of whether or not I'm being excessive with it. And I'm allowed to question myself. Thank you for understanding that more than others.
“his love makes me beautiful” from the musical “funny girl”
if you want an idea of how blaisie-style looks-perfectly-innocent-on-paper-but-the-performance-makes-it-naughty comedy works, this will give you a really good one.
