#christophe wolf

[northamericanpantheon]

She finally read her gOdDaMnDeD v2 HaNdBoOk. Commander Cueball can rest in peace. I even quizzed her to ensure a full, deep understanding of the subject matter contained within.

Damn I hope they recontain the Harlequin soon. Life gets so much more interesting when he’s around.

[northamericanpantheon]

Still manning the helpline.

Got a call from a kid and I was READY. This was what my 2 hours of phone training was ALL ABOUT. I looped Merry in so he could take notes (because like I want to help but not THAT much you know?).

He told me how his dad always turned into a monster one day a year. I’m like OK SHIT yeah, tell me more! He said this years worse than ever because there’s like another monster in town and there’s blood and bones EVERYWHERE and everyone’s just watching them tear things apart with their teeth.

So I’m like tracking the call and being so professional and then finally I get a location ping and…

Wing fest.

FUCKING WING FEST.

I know Christophe and Rafael are nearby and so I call him to double check that it’s not like a monster wing fest and he’s all “oh no problem Mikey we’ll check it out.”

Except I could hear the announcer in the background.

Those FUCKERS went to Wing Fest without me.

[northamericanpantheon]

“It is important to look your best at all times it shows respect for yourself and your colleagues as well as your targets and your victims”

Things I overhear when Christophe and Merry are actually getting the fuck along.

[northamericanpantheon]

Got a call from a town in Maine I will NOT disclose (because I might be stupid but I’m not THAT stupid) about a well dressed giant-ass man with creepy moon eyes at the Hannafords scaring the shit out of like… everyone with his aura.

Now Wolfman does NOT have grocery store privileges (ESPECIALLY not all the way to HANNAFORDS privileges) ((ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY not this soon after a reconditioning)) so I had a LOT of questions.

I asked “what’s this giant man doing?”

APPARENTLY CHRISTOPHE IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE PREGNANCY TESTS MUTTERING IN FRENCH.

Now I’m freaking out because there’s only like two people who have the authority to send Christophe to the far grocery store and I’m pretty sure Rafael would just grab some from medical sooo…

WHAT THE FUCK ERIC?

I fucking love working the help line.

[northamericanpantheon]

I thought I would die with her. That I would go to Heaven with her and our mother.

Instead, my teeth grew back.

With my teeth grew the desire to use them.

I tried to fight it, but I am not strong. I have never been strong.

My teeth were not the only things that grew. I grew tall, then very tall. I grew strong, then very strong.

I did not grow more pretty. The pretty fell away like my teeth, but it didn’t grow back. I’m glad. I am glad to be strong and not pretty. When you’re pretty, people do things to you. When you’re strong, you do things to other people.

When you are very strong, you don’t have to wait for them to let you.

Don’t look at me like that.

Not like that.

Not you.