#chyna writes

[riickgrimes]

almost pulled a '"female love interest looking at a painting/landscape/object: its gorgeous; male love interest looking at her: yes it is" in my fanfic and i would have ate it up as a reader

[radiantroope]

Do You Trust Me? || JJ Maybank

pairing: jj x reader

mentions: john b, kiara, pope

requested: yes, i don’t have the exact request because it’s over on @maybanksbitch

summary: jj finds out you’ve never had sex. being the loving best friend that he is, he offers to show you what you’ve been missing.

warnings: swearing, underage drinking, mentions of peer pressure, fluff, protected sex (no glove, no love), very detailed and graphic fluffy smut

wc: idfk but it’s LONG

a/n: well, here it is! the end’s kinda shitty but honestly, i needed to finish this instead of going back to it on and off for a week. this is unedited because it’s long as hell and i’m lazy.

masterlist | add yourself to my tag list

* not my gif. if it’s yours, please let me know so i can give you proper credit!

It was a lazy day at the Chateau for you and the Pogues. Everyone was debating on what to do for the day. John B suggesting surfing, Pope suggested fishing, Kiara desperately wanted to go swimming since it was blistering hot out. You and JJ were the only two who seemed keen on staying in. You’d rather sit around drinking and playing dumb games.

You sat with Kiara and John B in a half circle of old, stained lawn chairs. Pope and JJ were playing their favorite game that you called ‘Balance’. The one where you try and knock the other person off balance by pushing their shoulder. They were both holding strong, neither one leaning too far with each push.

Somehow you’d all gotten on the topic of hookups. JJ glanced your way and caught your eye for half a second. He’d been your best friend since you were in diapers, of course he knew you didn’t hookup with, well, anyone. The other Pogues didn’t know that though.

“Remember Fallon?” John B asked the group, sending JJ a sinister smile.

“Oh my God, she was obsessed with JJ!” Kiara shrieked through laughs.

You couldn’t help but laugh too, earning a glare from the blonde headed boy. Everyone remembered the crazy redhead who spent everyday at the Chateau looking for JJ.

“That was the first and only time we’ve ever had to lock the doors,” Pope recalled the memory, laughing when JJ shoved his shoulder harder.

“Oh, don’t think I don’t remember Crystal,” JJ teased, pointing a John B. “Or Brad,” he added and turned to Kiara with a raised eyebrow.

“God he still texts me,” Kiara muttered, shuddering at the memory of the Touron who practically fell in love with her last Summer.

“What about you, Y/N? We see the guys all over you at the parties. One ever stick?” Pope asked.

JJ’s jaw clenched at his question. He caught your eye yet again and almost fell over when Pope gave him a good push. You knew the blonde hated how guys treated you at parties. He was always there to get you out of those uncomfortable situations.

“Andrew,” you responded, feeling your chest tighten.

Your exboyfriend was a touchy subject. He dumped you after a year together when you still didn’t want to sleep with him. It never felt like the right time and at first he was okay with it, until he wasn’t. He tried to demand you sleep with him because that’s what couples do.

“He was your boyfriend, he doesn’t count,” John B said.

“I met him at a party though.”

“But he wasn’t just some hookup that became obsessed,” Kiara added.

“He was an asshole and friends with Rafe. Let’s leave it at that,” JJ intervened and gave up on the game with Pope.

The blonde walked over to you and instead of taking the empty chair between yourself and John B, he plopped himself right on your lap. You huffed and wrapped your arm around his middle when he leant back against you. You brought your bottle of Budweiser up your lips, giggling as some of the cold condensation dripped on JJ’s bare shoulder and he shivered.

The conversation changed quickly after that. JJ was protective of you and they all knew if they continued, they’d never hear the end of it. No one wanted to be on that end of JJ’s anger.

Eventually, it was decided that John B, Pope and Kiara would take the HMS Pogue our for a ride. Where they ended up was unknown, but they needed to get out of the house.

“Y’all coming?” John B asked as he stood up and stretched.

“Nah, I think we’re gonna hang back,” JJ answered for the both of you, though you weren’t complaining. You missed the days where it was just you and him. It would be nice to spend some quality alone time with your best friend for the first time in forever.

“Suit yourselves, you two have fun,” the brunette shrugged and went to follow your other two friends down the dock.

“But not too much fun!” Pope quickly called, pointing two fingers at his eyes then back at you.

JJ rolled his eyes and sent Pope his middle finger while you laughed. They all teased you two for being so close. They insisted that you were soulmates and just blind to it. You’d be lying if you didn’t feel some type of way towards the blonde, but you always pushed those feelings away. Soulmates could be best friends, right? They didn’t always have to be lovers.

“Okay, my legs are numb. Please get up,” you patted JJ’s stomach and let out a grunt as he stood.

JJ grabbed the chair John B had been sitting in and pulled it over so he could sit in front of you. He leaned forwards and rested his elbows on his knees, hands reaching out and grabbing your free one. He toyed with the bracelets on your wrist and tightened the ones that were coming loose.

You could tell his brain was at work with the way his crystal blue eyes glazed over. He wasn’t really even paying attention to what he was doing. You wanted to ask him what he was thinking about but also didn’t want to ruin the comforting moment. The rough pads of his thumbs started massaging gently into the top of your hand as his eyes flickered up to your face.

“I have a question. You don’t have to answer, obviously, but I’d like to know,” the blonde broke the silence with his soft voice.

You raised an eyebrow in response, giving him the indication to continue.

“I know you don’t hookup with people at parties, but I’ve also never heard you talk about Andrew in that way,” JJ started, causing your heart rate to increase. You knew where he was going with this. “Are you...have you-have you ever had sex?”

You mouth went dry at the blonde’s question. He may have been your best friend, but that wasn’t something you disclosed with him. Your friends may have been comfortable with expressing their sexual endeavors but not you. You let people think what they wanted and didn’t really care if it was true.

Your lack of response made JJ nervous. He didn’t want to pressure you into talking about something you didn’t want to. He couldn’t care less wether you had sex or not, he was just curious. “You can tell me anything, Y/N. You know I won’t judge you,” he added.

“I know, I know,” you told him, twisting your hand to hold the blonde’s. The tiniest smiled curled at the corner of his lips.

“I, um, yeah, no,” you stumbled over your words, cheeks heating up under JJ’s intense stare. “I’ve never had sex.”

“Not even with Andrew?”

You shook your head and let out a small laugh, avoiding his gaze and staring out at the water. “It never felt right with him. He dumped me because I wouldn’t,” you explained, feeling his grip tighten on your hand. “And I hate the idea of drunk, meaningless hookups too. It’s not like I don’t want to have sex, of course I do, just not like that.”

JJ’s bright eyes watched the way your index finger tapped against the neck of your beer bottle. His gaze trailed up your arm and stopped on your lips. He could see that you were chewing on the inside of your bottom lip. He watched your eyes flicker across the horizon, sparkling with the sun’s reflection. Your hair blew over your shoulder in the warm breeze.

“Do you trust me?” your blonde best friend caught your attention with his question.

You turned and met his stare, eyebrows furrowing a bit. You answered, “Of course I do. More than anyone in the world.”

“Would you let me make you feel good? Show you what you’ve been missing?” JJ was calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside his heart was hammering against his chest.

You didn’t know what to say at first. You’d be lying if you said you’d never thought about it. JJ was hands down, the most attractive guy on the island, in your opinion. And you knew him in a way other people didn’t. You didn’t know how you hadn’t already taken the dive and fallen in love with him sooner. With the way he was looking at you right now, it started to seem like a possibility.

The pads of JJ’s fingers started to ghost up and down your arm slowly, causing a shiver to run through you. He tilted his head and questioned you, “Y/N?”

You took a gulp of your beer to ease your nerves and set it in the cup holder of the chair. Breathing in deeply through your nose, your e/c eyes fell on his sapphire ones yet again. You head bobbed as you nodded and small smile spread across your lips, saying, “Yeah.. yeah, okay.”

JJ stood up and pulled you up as well with the hands holding yours. He interlocked you’re fingers and led you the short distance up to the Chateau. With each step your heart started to beat faster. You grasped the blonde’s hand tighter to try and keep yourself from shaking. He smiled over his shoulder at you as you crossed the threshold into the house.

The blonde’s hand left yours once you’d entered the spare bedroom. You turned and shut the door, flipping the lock into place just in case the Pogues came back during your escapades. You turned around and tried not to ogle at JJ who had shed his shirt in the few seconds you’d had your back to him.

A smirk curled on his lips as he sat down on the edge of the bed. You’d seen him shirtless thousands of times, but this was different. His eyes were a darker shade as he stared you down. A heat spread through your body as JJ used one finger to beckon you to him, a soft “C’mere” leaving his lips.

You took the few steps to the bed and stopped in front of him. His hands reached out and landed on your waist, pulling you in between his legs. He guided you down into his lap until you were straddling him. Your soft breaths mingled with his from the close proximity. Your hands found place on the warm skin of his bare shoulders.

“If it starts to be too much for you, just tell me to stop,” JJ’s voice was soft as he reached up and tucked your hair behind your right ear, “Okay?”

You nodded and gave him a small smile, whispering, “Okay.”

JJ’s pointer finger hooked under your chin and pulled your lips to his. He tasted like beer with a hint of mint and his lips were a bit chapped. He could taste your cherry chapstick and a soft hum left him. Your fingers slid their way around his neck and into the soft waves on the back of his head.

The blonde’s hands found your waist again as he pulled you closer. Your head tilted, deepening the kiss as you felt his tongue swipe your bottom lip. You obliged and allowed your lips to part, tongues dancing together. Your head was spinning. Never did you think you’d be kissing your best friend of sixteen years, nor that it would feel so good; so natural.

JJ’s fingers slipped under the material of your shirt, dancing against the soft skin of your hips. You pulled away from his lips, breathless. His eyes were soft as he gazed up at you and pushed his hands higher, your shirt moving with them. His hands sat on your ribs, thumbs stroking your skin.

“Can I take this off?” he whispered, eyes darting between both of yours, reading your expression to make sure you weren’t overwhelmed.

You bit down on your swollen bottom lip and nodded, holding your arms up as JJ removed the clothing. Your arms came back down, hands resting against his defined pecks as he took in your naked chest. It wasn’t unusual for you to not wear a bra. They were uncomfortable and itchy so you hardly ever wore one unless completely necessary.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful,” JJ breathed as his hands came up and cupped the mounds of flesh.

Your heart fluttered at the compliment, cheeks flushing and a smile spreading across your lips. JJ’s head dropped, nose nudging your jaw as you turned your head to the side. He pressed open mouthed kisses to your neck, sharp teeth gently nipping in certain spots. Your eyes slipped closed, breath hitching as he found your sweet spot and focused his mouth there.

His hands stayed on your chest, squeezing your breasts softly. He pinched one of your nipples between his thumb and pointer finger. On the other side his thumb brushed over the peaked nub with the lightest touch. A soft moan escaped your lips at the sensations he was bringing you. Your body was getting hotter, a tingling feeling intensifying between your legs.

JJ lifted his head when he was satisfied with the marks littering your skin. He brought his lips back to yours in a hard kiss, tongue immediately pressing it’s way into your mouth. His hands gripped your thighs as he turned the two of you abruptly.

Your back met the mattress and your lips seperated. He was settled between your legs, hands on both sides of your head. He took in the way your pupils were blown, parted lips puffy from the pressure of his own. Your hair was sprawled around you as short pants left your body. A smile tugged at his lips as he leant down to kiss you again. JJ was starting to think he didn’t care if you were the only girl underneath him for the rest of time.

His lips didn’t stay on your for long, wet kisses being pressed down your neck and chest. You watched him kiss his way down your stomach to the hem of your shorts. His eyes flickered up to yours in question as his fingers lingered around the button.

Your head moved in a single nod and that’s all it took for the boy to undo your shorts and pull them off, your underwear going with them. You felt shy under JJ’s hungry gaze as he dropped your clothing onto the floor. Your thighs went to clamp shut but he put his hands on your knees to stop you.

“Is it too much?” the blonde asked, staring up at you.

“No, no,” you responded quickly and smiled softly, putting a hand over the side of your burning face. “S’just no one’s ever seen me like this before.”

JJ smiled at you and glided his hands up your thighs, leaning down to kiss the inside of your knee. He started to trail his lips up the inside of your thigh slowly, eyes still locked on yours. “You’re beautiful,” he told you again against your skin.

You bit your lip to hide your grin and shifted as he pushed your legs open wider. JJ laid down flat on his stomach in between your legs, nearly moaning as his painfully hard cock brushed against the mattress through his board shorts. His eyes flickered up to your face and remained there as he leaned forward and tested the waters, tongue dragging through your folds slowly.

A soft gasp left your lips at the foreign feeling. The bottoms of your feet pressed further into mattress. JJ repeated the action a few more times, the drag of the velvety muscle against your clit sent jolts of electricty through your body. His middle finger came proding at your entrance, slipping in with ease.

He pumped the single digit and slid his ring finger in beside it after a minute. A soft noise of discomfort left your parted lips. JJ wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked softly to distract from the feeling. There was no stopping the smirk on his lips when a sharp moan left you as he curled his fingers. His tongue flicked at your sensitive bundle nerves and your fingers grasped onto the sheets tighter, another moan leaving your mouth.

“Ah, shit,” you hissed, face scrunching in discomfort as he added a third finger.

JJ looked up at you and then focused his mouth on your quivering inner thighs, trying to ease the pain. “I know, I know. But I’ve gotta make sure you’re good ‘n stretched so it’ll hurt less,” he cooed.

You nodded twice and breathed slowly as you willed your body to relax. JJ’s mouth came down and found your clit again. He swirled his tongue as he began pumping his fingers again. He was pleased to hear your whimpers turn back into moans.

The blonde pulled away when he figured you were stretched enough. He wanted nothing more than to have you cum around his fingers, then his cock, but he thought it might be too much for you. A soft whine came from the back of your throat when his fingers left you and he chuckled.

JJ came to a standing position beside the bed and undid the strings on his shorts. He pushed them down and kicked them off, dick standing hard and proud once it was free. He didn’t miss the way your eyes widened and you nervously swallowed as you eyed him.

“I know it looks intimidating,” JJ started, feeling proud that you were impressed. “But you’ll be okay.”

“JJ, you’re gonna rip me in half with that,” you stated, completely serious.

A loud laugh came from the blonde as he bent down and grabbed a condom from the box stored under the bed. He stood back up and crawled onto the bed, silver foil packet clutched between his fingers.

“That’s not gonna happen, baby, promise,” the nickname directed at you rolled off his tongue and your stomach flipped. You’d always teased each other with names like that but it was different in this sense.

You watched silently as JJ ripped open the condom package. His hands shook the slightest bit as he rolled it on and let out a puff of air from the little contact his erection received. He shuffled closer to you on his knees and hooked his hands under the backs of your thighs, pushing them towards your chest. You bit down on your bottom lip as you felt the head of his cock brush your entrance.

“Ready?” the blonde asked, bright eyes meeting yours. His thumb rubbed gently on the back of your thigh as if to tell you it’s okay to back out now.

You nodded in response and let out a deep breath through your nose. Your hand reached down and gripped onto JJ’s wrist that had your leg held back. He gave you a small smile then looked down between your bodies, free hand helping guide his length into your entrance.

Your mouth fell open, hand squeezing onto his wrist tighter as he pushed into you slowly, inch by inch. JJ’s jaw clenched as your pussy gripped him like a vice. He put the hand that was free on your hip and paused.

“Relax, Y/N, you gotta relax,” he groaned out, resisting the urge to plunge into you like he was used to.

“I’m trying,” you whimpered, tears stinging the corners of your eyes.

“Breathe,” JJ told you, “Breathe through it, baby.”

You sucked in a shaky breath through your nose and let it out your mouth, repeating the action until your muscles started unwinding. The muscular boy above you huffed when he felt you unclench around him. He pressed forward again until his thighs were pressed against the back of your own.

He stayed like that, letting you adjust, drawing soothing circles against your skin as he waited. He looked up to your face and saw you had your eyes clenched shut. His hand came up and caressed the side of your face, thumb brushing underneath your eye.

“You okay?” he asked softly.

You swallowed thickly and opened your eyes to look up at him. He was staring down at you in worry but his eyes were filled with nothing but adoration. The whole scenario was making your head spin.

You were laying there, stuffed full for the first time with your best friend’s cock. What?

“Y-Yeah,” you managed to respond, feeling breathless under his stare. “You can move.”

JJ put the hand that was on your face beside your head, leaning his weight on it as he hovered over you. He pulled out slowly then pressed back in. He pushed your leg back farther with the other hand and thrust his hips again.

It was an agonizingly slow pace, you knew that much, but he was taking his time with you and you’d never been so grateful. Anyone else probably wouldn’t have taken care of you the way JJ was. You couldn’t picture losing it to anyone else in that moment. He was the closest friend you had. He was your person.

JJ’s eyes moved between your face and down to where your bodies met repeatedly. He was entranced by seeing your tight walls grip him so deliciously, but also needed to make sure you were okay. He smirked slightly when he saw the crease inbetween your eyebrows disappear with each thrust and soft, pleasured noises started to leave your lips.

The blonde boy began thrusting faster, unable to contain the low groan that bubbled in his throat. Your hands moved up onto the back of his neck and wrapped around his bicep. Your blunt nails dug into his skin as you moaned louder, head tilting back and pressing into the mattress.

JJ readjusted his position, dropping to his elbows on both sides of you. You hiked your legs up on his hips, breath catching in your throat at the new angle. His cock made you feel so full, brushing against your g-spot with each stroke.

“Fuck, J,” you moaned out, fingers tangling in the hair on the back of his head.

The feeling JJ got when looked at you underneath him and you moaned for him was indescribable. A heat flooded his whole body. He wanted to be the one who made you feel good; the only one. The thought of anyone else seeing you like this infuriated him, but the feeling of your hand tugging on his hair brought him out of the trance.

“You’re doing so good,” he muttered, bending his head down to press kisses to your neck, “so good.”

JJ’s thrusts got harder, the head of his cock pressing up against that spot inside of you that made you see stars. You cried you, gripping onto him as he kept the pace, his mouth working more marks into your skin.

He didn’t think he could last much longer, not with how tight your pussy clenched around him every time he hit your spot, moaning his name in ear. He pushed his weight onto one arm and slid the other down between the two of you. He lifted his head and watched as your mouth fell open as soon as his fingers made contact with your clit. He rubbed in quick figure eights, working you up to your high.

“O-Oh shit,” you cursed, nails scratching against JJ’s shoulders as your back arched off the bed.

Your whole body was tingling, a tightening feeling coiling in the pit of your stomach. The rhythm of JJ’s thrusts never faltered. The sinful moan that tore through your throat as you came was music to the blonde’s ears.

“Fuck,” JJ gasped as you clenched around him, following you into euphoria with a moan of his own.

Your thighs shook, still hooked around his waist as you came down from your high. Your arms were still wrapped around his shoulders as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. The two of stayed like that for a few minutes, letting your heavy breaths return back to normal.

Eventually, JJ pulled out of you slowly, causing a small hiss to leave your lips. He climbed off the bed and went to dispose of the condom in the bathroom trash quickly. When he entered the room again, you were climbing under the covers, wrapping yourself in the blankets. You had a hazy look in your eyes and a dopey smile on your face.

“Was it everything you thought it would be?” JJ asked as he climbed under the covers beside you.

The two of you faced each other on the bed, heads nuzzled against the pillows. You hummed softly, eyes fluttering closed as exhaustion washed over you.

“Better,” you muttered in response, cracking your eyes open to peak at your best friend once again.

He was staring at you, soft smile adorning his lips as his eyes trailed over your face. He scooted closer to you and wound an arm around your waist. He pulled you against his chest and pressed a chaste kiss to the top of your head. His fingers trailed lazy patterns up and down your spine, lulling you into the best sleep you’d ever have.

“I love you,” JJ whispered, knowing you were deep in dreamland by now.

The blonde didn’t sleep, he just laid there and held you, replaying what just happened in his mind over and over again. He saw you in a different light; a light that he never wanted to burn out. Laying there holding you, butterflies fluttering happily in his stomach, all he could do was smile.

The two of you were definitely going to be having a long conversation on how to move forward when you woke up.

[radiantroope]

Lonely Heart || Rafe Cameron

series summary: You and Rafe were best friends almost all of your lives; thick as thieves. Where you found one, you typically found the other. Things changed when your plans to go to university together fall apart. Years later, you find yourself back in Kildare, and nothing could have prepared you for what you came back to.

warnings: angst, mentions of drug use/abuse, alcohol consumption, familial death, familial cancer, violence, swearing

author’s note: i was sitting on my couch one day and this concept came to me and i couldn’t not write it. i’m a lil nervy but i’m very proud of it so far. shout out to @royalmerchant and @diverdcwn for letting me send you the intro + half of the first chapter and hyping me up, you’re both amazing and i love you.

series playlist | main masterlist

Table of Contents:

Introduction

Chapter One: Falling Apart

Chapter Two: Coming Home

Chapter Three: Loose Stitches

Chapter Four: Tainted Love

Chapter Five:

...to be continued

i’m going to make a separate tag list specifically for this series! if you want to be added, shoot me an ask or a message!!

tagging: (from my rafe tag list) @oldschoolimagineblog @starlightstarkey @pink-meringues @tovvaf @kaitieskidmore1 @baby-pogue @thirstystarkey @churrlize @juliarose21 @k-k0129 @lulbabes @quacksonsssandtea @jailcalledlife @mybrainiswhack @queenofthepogues @obxmxybxnk @meaganjm @luvbabyjade @jjmaybankg @solllaris @taiter-tots (from my all obx taglist) @drewswannabegirl @pheyward @allielozoya @x-lulu @teenwaywardasgardian @queenk00k @thevortexclubposse @sortagaysortahigh @jjmaybcnks @jjmbanks @ims0golden @jjsmentalpolaroids @netflix-imagines @bolaurel @apoguecalledjj @sweetlysilent @canibeoneofthepogues @stfukie @maybankszn @netflix-imagines @ilovejjmaybank @httpstarkey @milamaybank @vindictive-hearts @sadcupofcoffee @jjsredhat @diverrdown @gublerobx strike through means i couldn’t tag you! please let me know if you want to be removed!

[radiantroope]

Lonely Heart || Rafe Cameron

Chapter One – Falling Apart

chapter summary: Rafe’s actions when you move to California prove distance does not make the heart grow fonder. You get a phone call that puts your whole life on pause.

warnings: flashbacks are in italics, none

word count: 2k+

author’s note: i kinda hate this but i’m gonna post it anyway. this fic is definitely a slow burn. once again, shout out to @royalmerchant & @diverdcwn for letting me send you the first half of this and convincing it wasn’t complete shit. feedback means everything to me, please let me know what you think so far!!♥️

read the introduction here!

series playlist | series masterlist | main masterlist

You kept your promise and called Rafe as much as you could — FaceTiming every Saturday for a few hours in the evening. He helped you decorate your on campus apartment as much as he could through the tiny phone screen. You’d eat dinner together and talk about how your week had been. There was a three hour time difference though, so either you were eating very early or Rafe was eating fairly late. Though, you didn’t mind making that sacrifice if it meant you got to talk to him and see his face.

It was all going good for a few months, the semester started off slow for you and your professors seemed nice enough. Thanksgiving rolled around before you knew it and your parents had flown out to visit. They gushed over your quaint little apartment and awed at the large campus that you took them for a stroll around. The three of you FaceTimed the Cameron’s on the morning of Thanksgiving itself and talked to them for a while as Rose frantically ran about the kitchen, insisting that she wanted to help make the feast that year instead of hiring chefs to do it for them.

It was a few days after that, just after your parents flew home, that things changed. Rafe declined more of your calls than he answered. He started missing your Saturday FaceTime dates, stating his workload was too much and he had to miss it. You believed him, of course. You were two Freshmen in college and it was inevitable that the schoolwork was bound to weigh on you eventually.

Sparse phone calls turned into even sparser texts. It was embarrassing, really. If anyone could see how many texts you’d sent to get a three word response a few days later they’d probably laugh in your face. Just before the winter trip to Colorado, he stopped replying all together. He’d either turned his read receipts off or he was ignoring your texts all together because the word ‘Delivered’ managed to slap you in the face everyday.

Your Uber pulled up to the luxurious cabin your family shared with the Cameron’s and a wave of nausea flooded through you. You didn’t know if you were ready to face your best friend and find out what you’d done for him to deliberately ignore you. As you walked through the front door, immediately greeted by a squealing Wheezie, you quickly noticed the absence of the brunette boy amongst your families in the kitchen and living room.

Sarah dragged you to the room she and Wheezie were sharing after you greeted her father and Rose. She barely gave you time to drop your bags by your own room. The teenager immediately jumped into all the melodrama happening in her life. You weren’t shocked to find out she was dating Topper Thornton. You knew the boy had his eye on her for a while and were glad to know he’d taken your advice of asking her out before you left.

“Where’s Rafe?” you questioned sometime later, after dinner with Sarah nestled beside you in your bed.

“He took some job with one of dad’s partners. Something about furthering his resume,” Sarah said, shrugging. To her, it was no big deal that her brother wasn’t there, oblivious to his recent absence in your life.

“Right,” you responded solemnly.

It was hard to hide your obvious disappointment that Rafe had missed the trip. In the thirteen years you’d known him, he’d never missed this trip. He was always so eager to get away from the Outer Banks and it’s muggy weather to spend Christmas surrounded by snow. He snowboarded almost everyday, dragging you up to the mountains with him. He looked like a pro, flying down the slopes with precision and grace. Inevitably he’d have to make his way back up to help you down, but that was part of the fun, laughing as you lost your balance and tumbled into the snow more than once. You’d grab a hot chocolate from the mountain resort after, out of breath and full of giggles.

Christmas morning was especially dreary for you. Your mother took notice of your odd silence over breakfast and placed a comforting hand over yours as you cradled a mug of coffee. You forced a smile, standing to follow everyone into the living room to open gifts. The cabin felt quiet — void of Wheezie’s screaming laughter and Rafe’s thundering footsteps as he chased her around with a flimsy Santa hat atop his messy head of hair. You swallowed the lump in your throat as Ward took over handing out the gifts, a job usually reserved for his son.

“Have you talked to him?”

You sighed through the phone at Janelle’s question. The last time you attempted to reach Rafe was New Year’s Eve. Just as the clock struck midnight, you sent him a standard ‘Happy New Year’ text. Your heart leapt to your throat when a moment later, the three text bubbles popping up. They sat there for a moment, taunting you, before disappearing. You awaited a response, only for one to never come.

By the time the spring break trip to the Bahamas rolled around, you were infuriated. You couldn’t wait to get down there and give Rafe a piece of your mind. Thirteen years of friendship and he couldn’t even text you back. He dropped you like you were last year’s Gucci — like you were nothing to him.

Janelle was the only person who knew Rafe meant more to you than just a best friend. When you were twelve, you told her how it was just a silly crush and you only thought he was cute. When you were fourteen, you admitted he gave you butterflies and you couldn’t get him out of your head. When you were sixteen, you bawled to her when he got his first real girlfriend, confessing you were hopelessly in love with the boy who would never feel the same way. She never told a soul, letting you spill your heart out to her whenever you needed to.

“No, and he’s made it very clear he wants nothing to do with me.”

As the plane landed in the Bahamas on the private airstrip, you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t wait to lay out in the sun by the water and let all your worries wash away. Your grades had slipped a bit after winter break, your mind consumed with anything but school. With a lot of extra work, you managed to get yourself back on track — also with a slight threat from your mother of lowering your monthly direct deposit from their bank account.

You saw Ward and your father waiting by the typical black Escalade they used to get around, the driver waiting by the backdoor to take your luggage. Both men embraced you as you stepped off the aircraft and climbed into the running car. Nervousness bubbled in your veins, causing you to bounce your knee beside your father as you began your journey to the beach home Ward owned.

“No Rafe this year, huh Ward?” your father broke the silence with his question, sparring you a glance from the corner of his eye.

“No,” Ward sighed, “He decided to take his own trip to Hawaii with some friends.”

A hurt expression contorted on your face that you quickly masked with a small smile. The two of you had always talked about going to Hawaii one day. He was living out those dreams without you now. Your tone was playful, yet you were anything but, “He’s a busy boy now-a-days, isn’t he?”

Ward laughed and simply nodded in response. Your father gave you a knowing look and a reassuring smile. Though it did nothing to ease the ache in your chest. You turned towards the window and watched the palm trees fly by the closer you got to the beachfront mansion. Your hair fell in your face, effectively masking the salty tears slowly rolling down your cheeks.

You laid on the beach, sunglasses covering slightly puffy and red rimmed eyes. You watched surfers ride the waves and recalled a time where you’d go out and join them. You’d rent a surfboard for the week, forcing Rafe to do the same and try your best to teach him how to surf. You weren’t sure if he was just too big to balance properly or he didn’t care to try, but he still entertained you. He was always in awe with how gracefully you rode the waves, despite him fully believing it was a Pogue sport. You were a Kook and he never quite understood why you loved it so much, but you were good and there was no denying it. He’d sit atop his own board and just watch you with a ghost of a smile, cheering when you pulled off a trick you’d been working on.

The distant memory of Rafe’s laughter echoed in your head as Sarah plopped down beside you and pulled you out of your thoughts. Your parents were all going out that night and she insisted on a girls night with Wheezie involving some expensive wine she’d snuck in her bag from Rose’s collection. The two of you obviously didn’t let the youngest girl in on the alcohol, but she didn’t seem to mind much, just enjoying spending quality time with the two older girls.

You tried your hardest to paint on a smile and indulge the girls the best you could in their conversations and game of Truth. Though your mind kept drifting, eyes burning with tears that you felt would never stop falling. All you could think about was how you and Rafe used to do this — sneak a bottle of his father’s liquor and hide out on the balcony into the late hours of the morning. You’d talk for hours about your lives and the future — a future you never pictured he wouldn’t be a part of.

It had been five years since then. You were almost twenty four now and hadn’t seen your best friend in five years. You stopped going on the family vacations when you realized it was Rafe’s way to keep from seeing you. You’d visit home for a week or two in the Summer, instead of spending the whole three months there like you intended. If your parents weren’t intent on living out the rest of their lives in Kildare, you probably would have never gone back. But they’d done too much for you — gave you everything you had — so you went back for them. Never did you see Rafe, and you couldn’t say you were upset about it. Seeing him would put you back at square one.

You graduated with your Bachelor’s degree and were planning to go for your doctorate in Psychology. Classes started the following week and it seemed like everything was finally falling into place. You were setting yourself up for life. Though, it still felt like something was off — like there was a part of you missing.

You and Janelle still spoke frequently. She always made a point to bring up Rafe, even when you didn’t ask. How he’d been scoring all these great jobs and working on big projects. How he was the happiest she’d ever seen him. Usually you’d mutter a small ‘that’s nice’ in response and change the subject. What made her think you wanted to hear about someone you used to love? Someone who used to be your other half? Why was she so adamant about rubbing it in your face that they were still so close?

You jumped as your ringtone set for your father blasted through the living room. You rushed from the stove where you’d been preparing dinner and picked the device up off the couch. Your voice was chipper as you answered his call, “Hi, daddy!”

“Hi, pumpkin,” your father sounded exhausted, a slight strain to his tone. Before you could question him he was continuing, “There’s.. There’s something you need to know.”

You turned off the stove immediately, heart sinking into your stomach. You remained silent and leaned against the counter to support your shaking frame. With a few words, you felt everything come crumbling down around you.

“It’s your mother, Y/N. You need to come home.”

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[radiantroope]

Lonely Heart || Rafe Cameron

Chapter Three - Loose Stitches

chapter summary: What was supposed to be a fun day out on the Druthers takes a turn when you find out the secret everyone’s been keeping from you. Rafe and Topper have a tough conversation.

warnings: minor alcohol consumption, swearing, angst, a bit of fluff

word count: 3.3k+

author’s note: and so it begins. there’s a scene in here that i’m not 100% happy with but i couldn’t re-write it again because i was over it lol. i feel the need to point out that topper and y/n are completely platonic, he’s not pining after her. ok enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

read chapter two here!

series playlist | series masterlist | main masterlist

Your first week back in the OBX had gone without incident. You went to your mother’s chemo treatment with her and sat by her side, holding her hand as you read from a magazine. You hung out with Topper and Kelce at one or the other’s houses and spent some time on the beach. You spent the night with Sarah, who was fully offended you went to see Topper first instead of her, and officially met her boyfriend John B. You and the Pogue knew of each other but had never truly spoken. He wasn’t too keen on you at first until he realized you weren’t like all the other Kooks who stood behind the rivalry.

Janelle had texted you, asking if you were home and a short apology about your mother. She had said she was returning home soon as well and had so much to tell you. You weren’t sure if you were exactly excited to see her and have her drown you in information, especially about Rafe. You’d told her okay but were making plans left and right to try and book up your days so you didn’t have to see her before you were ready.

One of those plans was a day out on the Druthers. Ward had invited your parents and you, of course. You dragged Topper into joining you, not wanting to be a third wheel with Sarah. Wheezie was seventeen now and didn’t follow you or her sister around anymore. He made a fuss about having to be around his ex girlfriend and her insufferable boyfriend, but he couldn’t say no to you — especially when you promised to purchase all of the kegs for his next house party since he was still underage.

When you arrived at the Cameron’s and made your way down to the yacht, you could hear the chatter and laughter of many people. They were all older, friend’s of Ward and Rose and your parents. Some of them you recognized from your going away party and they congratulated you on obtaining your Bachelor’s, gushing to your parents about ‘raising such a fine young woman’. You made your rounds talking to everyone, took the Pacifico Ward offered you, and dragged Topper to the front of the boat.

“If one more person asks me if I’ve seen any celebrities while in Cali, I’m gonna scream,” you grumbled before taking a long swig of the cold beer.

Topper laughed loudly and leaned against the side of the boat, raising one of his fluffy eyebrows, “Well… Have you?”

You pressed your lips together tightly and made a small screaming sound in the back of your throat, swinging your arm and smacking the sandy blonde on the chest. He laughed again, slinking away from your swinging arm. You heard Ward say you’d be leaving soon, just waiting on two more people to arrive.

You took another swig of your beer and fell into conversation with Topper, Sarah and John B. joining you after a beat. They asked how college life was on the West coast and if you’d made any friends. You had, but none of them compared to the people you knew at home. They’d texted a couple of times to check in on you but that was the extent of it. They were shocked to hear you’d held a ten minute conversation with Brad Pitt at a bar and ran into Elizabeth Olsen a handful of times at your favorite Cafe, because yes, you had met celebrities but you weren’t one to brag.

“If you can hook me up with the Scarlet Witch, I’ll marry you right now,” Topper said, eyes wide and completely straight faced.

“Okay, that doesn’t make sense—”

You’re cut off by the sound of Ward’s voice when he playfully says, “There the lovebirds are! Late as usual!”

Your back is turned and Topper and Sarah see it before you. As you go to turn around, the taller boy wraps his arm around your neck, pulling you into his side. Sarah tries to think of something to say to keep your attention on her, stuttering and waving her hands. John B. just looks confused, staring bewilderingly at his girlfriend then glancing at you and Topper.

“Why are y’all being so weird?!” you exclaim, shoving a hand on Topper’s chest to get him off of you.

You spin around before you can be stopped again and your blood runs cold. Your heart hammers in your chest, pounding painfully against your rib cage. You don’t realize your beer has slipped from your grasp until it shatters on the deck, glass flying at your feet. Everyone’s attention turns to you, but you’re staring at the two people who just stepped aboard the boat. Their hands were linked together and the smiles they’d been wearing fell. Your stomach lurched, the lunch you’d had before coming threatening to resurface.

Rafe’s eyes were wide and his face visibly paled as he stared at you. The expression on his face was unreadable and the look his eyes matched. Janelle stepped away from him, her hand coming up as she started to say something to you. Your ears were ringing so loudly you could hear her. Your eyes caught on her left hand, a massive rock sitting on her ring finger, sparkling in the sun.

You felt someone’s hands on you, you didn’t know who, trying to shake you and bring you back to Earth. As realization dawned on you, you turned suddenly, leaning over the side of the Druthers and emptying the contents of your stomach into the ocean. You gasped for breath, tears burning in your eyes from the act of throwing up and the situation itself. Your body started shaking, all of the different emotions hitting you at once and overwhelming you.

“Breathe, Y/N,” Sarah says, pulling your hair out of your face. She glances at Topper who rubs his face and shakes his head. You weren’t supposed to find out this way — none of them wanted you to find out this way. If they had known Rafe would be there, they would have skipped on the boat day and taken you somewhere else.

“Y/N..” you hear Janelle’s hesitant voice, feel her hand on your arm.

You flinched away as if she burned you, into Sarah’s arms, hissing, “Don’t touch me.”

The raven haired girl’s face fell, hands falling limp at her sides. Your head was spinning and your thoughts were moving a thousand miles a second. You could see everyone looking between you, whispering, like this was going to be the hottest gossip on the island. Your mother stood and went to reach for you but you shrank out of the way, out of Sarah’s arms.

Without another word, you made a beeline for the exit of the boat. You caught Rafe’s eye again for half a second, a pained expression on his face as he talked quietly with Ward. You rushed out of the yacht and practically ran up the dock towards Tannyhill, ignoring the calls of your name from behind you. You were choking on your own breath, trying to fight off the tears burning in your eyes.

“Y/N, please, stop,” Topper panted as he finally reached you up by the house.

You scoffed as you turned to look at him and saw your parents as well as Sarah following behind him. You went into the house and began searching for your mother’s purse so you could take the car. Your hands were shaking, a few tears slipping down your cheeks that you wiped away roughly.

“Honey, please,” your mother’s voice was soft, hands grabbing onto your arms to stop your frantic movements.

“You all knew!” you shouted, bottom lip quivering.

“We didn’t know they were coming,” Sarah said softly, nervously twisting her fingers together.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” you snapped in response, eyes holding a fire none of them had seen in a long time. You shrugged yourself out of your mother’s grasp, sitting down in a chair in the main living room. You put your head in your hands and asked, “how long?”

Sarah glanced around at the others before saying, “Three and a half years, engaged for almost one.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“They begged me not to tell you,” Topper admitted, mentally kicking himself for agreeing to keep his mouth shut. Rafe may have been his best friend, but so were you. Sarah nodded, silently saying they’d done the same to her. “They said they wanted to tell you themselves.”

“I haven’t spoken to Rafe in five years!” you shouted, throwing your arm up. You tried to keep more tears from falling as you allowed everything to sink in. You’d been bottling up everything you felt for so long it was starting to spill over. Everyone but Topper looked shocked, clearly not knowing the full extent of your damaged relationship with Rafe. They didn’t know he’d cut you off all together, they just thought you didn’t talk as much, drifted apart a little.

“After Thanksgiving, he stopped calling. He stopped answering my texts. We haven’t seen each other since my going away party,” your voice broke at the end, tears steadily flowing down your face at this point. Though, you quickly became angry as you thought about the other person involved. You spit, “Janelle and I talked once a week. I should have known something was up when all she would talk about was Rafe. She never mentioned they were dating, let alone engaged!”

“Your mother and I didn’t want to hurt you, sweetie. It didn’t feel like our place to say anything,” your father said, walking over and wrapping his arms around your shoulders. He knew there was more to the story than you were willing to say. They didn’t know how much turmoil you’d been going through the last five years and he felt horrible for not noticing.

You knew it was partially your fault for not saying anything. Maybe this all would have played out differently if you had just been honest and told everyone you and Rafe weren’t even friends anymore, as much as it hurt to admit. Maybe Ward wouldn’t have invited you or would have given you a heads up that his son was coming. Maybe Sarah would have told you Rafe and Janelle were dating and you could have confronted her sooner. Maybe you should have confessed your love to him that day sitting on your bed before you left.

There was no way to change what happened. Like your mother had said, you can’t dwell on the past, you have to live in the present. The sad reality was that Rafe was engaged, to someone who was supposed to be your best friend, and there was no chance you’d tell him how you felt now. He’d gone five years without you and clearly had no intentions to keep you in his life. You had to accept that.

“I just want to go home,” you whispered into your father’s shoulder, holding back a sob.

“I’ll walk with you,” Topper quickly offered, stepping forward, “I wasn’t too keen on his boat day anyway.”

Sarah walked over as you stood up, wrapping her arms around you tightly. She stroked her hand over your back and mumbled, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t know,” you replied, pulling back and taking her cheeks in your hands. You pressed a kiss to the younger girl’s forehead and teased, “I still love you.”

You mother and father both hugged you tightly. You knew they couldn’t skip on this day with Ward, especially now that they had to do damage control for your actions in front of their friends. You mother kissed your cheek and gave you a soft smile, “We’ll talk more about this later, yeah?”

You nodded, allowing Topper to wrap his arm around your shoulders and guide you out the front door. The two of you walked in silence, his arm stayed around you, keeping you close. You felt comfortable but your mind was still reeling. You looked up at him, his indigo eyes meeting your bloodshot ones.

“I’ll still buy you those kegs,” you said, trying to lighten the mood.

The boisterous laugh that erupted from Topper’s mouth made you smile slightly. It had taken a long time to mend the broken and cracked pieces of your heart — you thought you’d finally stitched it whole again. The further and further you got from Tannyhill, you could feel the stitches coming loose, the cracks in your heart re-breaking.

—

“You said you talked to her. You told me she was okay with this!” Rafe tried to keep his voice level, not wanting to cause more of a scene on the Druthers. He’d pulled Janelle to the interior of the boat, down into the hallway and away from the prying eyes of his father’s friends. The look your mother had sent him when she came back made his gut twist, your father’s expression was unreadable.

“I was going to tell her when I saw her in person! I didn’t think she’d be here!” Janelle argued, crossing her arms over her chest. “We’ve been keeping us a secret for so long there’s not an easy way to drop that bomb on her!”

Rafe sighed frustratedly and ran a hand through his hair, ruining the slicked back look he’d achieved with the gel. He chewed on his bottom lip, staring at the wall in thought. “Maybe I should go talk to her,” he decided, going to move past Janelle and leave the boat.

“No!” Janelle exclaimed, grabbing onto her fiancé’s arm. “It’s been five years, Rafe. Don’t you think if she wanted to talk, she would have when she saw us? The best thing we can do right now is give her space.”

Rafe knew she was right. He knew he was the last person you wanted to see. He felt his stomach sink at what Janelle said next, “Besides, she obviously left with Topper.”

Topper. His best friend. He remembered after your move Janelle telling him how closely you and Topper remained. After Rafe stopped speaking to you, he took his place. He was the one you called multiple times throughout the week. He was the one you FaceTimed with on Saturday’s. He was the one you spent time with when you visited in the Summer. Jealousy bubbled in his stomach hearing that all those years ago, now the thought just made him sad. Did he make the right choice cutting you off to mend his own heart? Did it make you move on to his best friend instead?

“Come on, honey,” Janelle’s voice broke him from his thoughts as she tugged in his hand. She grinned up at him and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Rose wants to talk wedding plans.”

Rafe smiled and nodded, allowing his fiancée to lead him back out on the main deck. He looked over to where Sarah was cleaning up the glass from the bottle you dropped. John B. was quietly asking her what happened and why you left. Sarah simply shook her head, locking eyes with her brother. She gave him a disappointed frown and retreated into the boat to dispose of the glass.

—

Topper had stayed with you at your house, quietly moving about your room as you napped in your bed. The events that had taken place took a lot out of you. You’d cried some more when you got there, mourning your broken friendships. He laid with you, stroking your hair and whispering a thousand apologies as you sobbed. There was nothing he could say to make it better, but he still tried.

When your parents got home, they peeked into your bedroom. You were still fast asleep, curled with your back to the door and facing the window. Topper sat at the edge of the bed, flipping through the old photo album you still hadn’t touched. There were hundreds, possibly thousands of pictures in there — of him and Kelce, your parents, Sarah and Wheezie, Janelle, but mostly of you and Rafe. Your smile would put the sun to shame with how brightly it shined. The stars in the night sky would be envious of the sparkle your eyes held as you looked at Rafe in the photos. It was painfully obvious how in love you’d been with him back then, if only the boy himself had known.

Your parents thanked him for staying with you, promising to have you call him later that night. He made his way home, heart heavy in chest. He hated being in the middle of his two best friend’s — torn between two sides. How was he supposed to split his time with both of you? He knew you’d be understanding, tell him it was fine because Rafe is his friend. He knew Rafe would have a fit, say he was choosing you over him. As if you all hadn’t known each other the same amount of time. As if he had an upper hand because they were ‘the boys’.

“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for hours,” Rafe’s gruff voice asked from the couch. He had a glass of Topper’s mother’s scotch sitting on the table in front of him. The blonde had seen his truck in the driveway, expecting him to be in that exact position.

“I was at Y/N’s,” Topper replied with a shrug, dropping his keys in the bowl by the front door and kicking off his shoes.

Rafe’s hard demeanor softened a bit at your name. His eyes flashed with a look Topper couldn’t pinpoint before turning cold again. He had every intention of showing up here and genuinely asking if you were okay. He knew he’d hurt you before and even more so now that he was engaged and you had no idea. Though it all went out the window when he heard his best friend had been at your house for hours, alone with you. The blonde grabbed the bottle of scotch off the counter, pouring himself a glass as he prepared for whatever Rafe was about to say to him.

“You two dating now? Just fucking or something?” the brunette scoffed, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Did you really just ask me that?” Topper asked incredulously, face contorting into a look of disgust. You were a gorgeous girl, he wouldn’t deny it, but that was a line he’d never cross. He saw you as the older sibling he never had. He looked at Rafe over the rim of his glass whilst taking a sip. “Why do you care, man? You’re the one who cut her off.”

Rafe chewed on the inside of his lip, shaking his head as he avoided Topper’s gaze, “I don’t.”

“Clearly you do,” Topper argued, crossing the room until he stood at the other side of the coffee table from his best friend. “You ignored her until she stopped trying. You snuck around with her best friend for years, then got engaged to her. You swore everyone to silence and didn’t even tell her yourself like you said you would. You know she never told Sarah or her parents you weren’t even speaking?”

“Okay, Top, I get it,” Rafe said through gritted teeth. He knew what he did, and he knew he was wrong for it. He didn’t need it being thrown back in his face.

“Do you?” the blonde questioned, not thinking his friend was fully grasping the situation. He sat down opposite the brunette and rested his elbows on his knees. “She’s hurt, Rafe. She’s been hurting for the last five years and seeing you today… with Janelle of all people… It was a tipping point.”

Rafe rubbed his hand over his face, a frown pulling at the corners of his lips. He looked at Topper, regret swimming in his pale blue eyes and desperation lacing the tone of his voice, “What do I do? How do I fix this?”

“I don’t know if you can, man,” Topper replied honestly, shaking his head, “My best advice to you right now, is just leave her alone.”

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[radiantroope]

Lonely Heart || Rafe Cameron

Chapter Two – Coming Home

chapter summary: You return to Kildare and find out just how sick your mother is. You visit a friend who’s harboring a damning secret.

warnings: familial cancer, mentions of familial death, swearing, a teeny bit of alcohol consumption

word count: 2.6k+

author’s note: another filler chapter lol. i want to make the chapters longer but i don’t want to rush the story. they’ll probably get longer after this one. chapter three is gonna be a doozy y’all, i hope you’re ready. as always, feedback is greatly appreciated. i write for myself but if no one’s interested what’s the point in posting? i hope you like it!🥰

read chapter one here!

series playlist | series masterlist | main masterlist

You didn’t think twice about catching the first flight to the Outer Banks. Your father’s haunting, solemn voice echoed in your head. He sounded distraught and you knew he needed you. He didn’t want to discuss your mother’s condition over the phone so he bid you goodbye and promised to be waiting at the airport for you. You packed every bag you had — the three Louis Vitton suitcases displayed on the top shelf in your closet and the two large duffel bags stuffed under your queen sized bed. As much of your belongings as you could fit were haphazardly stuffed to the brim in each of them.

You didn’t sleep that night, it was no use since you booked your flight for five in the morning. Your stomach bubbled nervously as you watched the hours tick by, finally deciding to head for the airport at three. Your Uber pulled up outside your building and the driver kindly helped you get your bags into the trunk. The highway was almost completely empty in the early hours of the morning. You arrived at LAX in record time, thankful you didn’t have to deal with the dreaded California traffic.

After making your way through security and checking your bags, you found a chair at your gate in the corner away from others. You sat numbly, staring out the window as other planes took off and landed. You were preparing yourself for the worst. Your father wouldn’t have told you to come home if your mother’s condition wasn’t serious. For a fleeting moment you let yourself worry about classes and what you were going to do about school, but you quickly shoved those thoughts away. School would still be there in the end, your mother might not.

The five hour flight felt like an eternity. You tried your best to get even an ounce of sleep, but you could hear the hum of the aircraft over your music and a baby sitting a few rows behind you was crying every fifteen minutes. You ordered a rum and coke from the flight attendant to numb you a little bit more, take some of the edge off. One turned into three and finally you were landing in the Outer Banks, patting yourself on the back for not snapping at the poor mother who couldn’t console her child the whole flight.

You exited the plane, grasping your carryon tightly as you scanned the people bustling about. Your eyes landed on your father and a grin spread across both of your faces. You walked to him quickly, arms wrapping tightly around his waist as you embraced each other.

“Hi, princess,” he whispered into your hair.

Tears sprang to your eyes and a shaky sigh left your lips as you responded, “Hi, daddy.”

The two of you walked to baggage claim and collected them, your father lightly teasing you for how many you’d brought. You simply rolled your eyes and followed him out to the car. The sweltering North Carolina heat had sweat collecting along your hairline in an instant. The humid air made you regret wearing joggers and a sweater on the plane ride. You would have rather froze on the plane than be overheating at that moment.

“How’s momma?” you asked once you were in the car, blasting the air conditioning in your face and rolling up your sleeves.

Your father hesitated, letting out a heavy sigh. He reached over the center console and took your hand, giving it a squeeze as he replied, “She’s tired, but you know her. She acts like she’s fine but I know this is taking its toll on her.”

You nodded and settled back in the seat, staring out the window as your father drove home. The island still looked the same as you remembered. It looked like they’d added a new hotel and expanded on Figure Eight, a few larger, newer houses standing out against the rest.

Your house came into view and you breathed a sigh of relief. You smiled as the car pulled into the driveway and you saw your mother’s figure sitting on the wrap around porch. You jumped out of the vehicle, making your way up the cobblestone path quickly. The older woman pushed herself to her feet and wrapped her arms around your neck once you were close enough. The floodgates in your eyes opened as your arms wrapped around your mother’s fragile body, quiet sobs muffled against her shoulder as you embraced.

“Hey, hey,” your mother shushed your cries, pulling back enough to hold both sides of your face and get a good look at you. She swiped the tears off your cheeks with her thumbs and gave you a warm smile, “No crying, you hear me?”

You nodded slightly, small sniffles escaping you as you blinked away the burning sensation in your eyes. Your mother pulled you to sit in the chair beside her as your father took your bags inside the house. She waited until you’d composed yourself a bit better before speaking, “Why don’t I go grab us some tea so we can talk?”

A brain tumor, a Glioblastoma multiforme, to be more specific. It had been growing and spreading for some time now within your mother’s head. She played down her symptoms to your father, not wanting to worry him, until she had a seizure at the Cameron’s the previous Sunday. They rushed her to the hospital via ambulance and spent hours doing scans and bloodwork. The prognosis wasn’t good, since the tumor had already grown so large. Even through chemotherapy and radiation they were giving her a year at most.

You stared at the mug in front of you, watching the steam rise into the air and dissipate in front of you. You had tried to argue surgery, insisting it would at least give her more time. Your father had joined the two of you and gently told you it wasn’t an option. She likely wouldn’t survive the surgery and if she did, she could be in a coma for the rest of her life.

“This can’t be happening,” you whispered, voice breaking as you put your head in your hands. “I should have come home more. I should have gone on those vacations. I should have been here with you.”

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, you look at me,” your mother’s voice was stern as she reached across the table and grabbed your wrist gently. You lifted your head and met her gaze through blurry eyes.

“Now is not the time to blame ourselves. This is out of our hands, pumpkin. You can’t waste your time wishing to change the past. You need to be here, live here, in the present. We’re together and you’re here now, that’s what matters.”

Your father rested a strong hand on your shoulder from where he stood beside you, giving it a gentle squeeze. You slipped your hand into your mother’s, holding onto tightly as you choked out, “I love you so much. Both of you.”

You spent the afternoon unpacking your bags in your old bedroom. It was the same as you had left it, walls painted your favorite color and bed neatly made with the crisp white sheets. Some of your old posters still hung on the walls and your eyes drifted to the photo album you’d left last time you visited. The contents inside used to make you smile as you basked in the memories the pictures held, now they brought you heartache every time you looked at the smiling faces inside.

With a sigh, you forced yourself to take a long shower. You were drained emotionally and physically, having gotten no sleep the night before and the amount of crying you’d done took everything out of you. You skipped dinner and passed out early in the evening.

—

The next morning you woke up to the smell of bacon wafting through the house. You pulled yourself out of bed and trudged down the stairs with heavy steps. You’d gotten almost twelve hours of sleep but felt as though you could sleep twelve more, rubbing your eyes as you entered the bright kitchen. You greeted your parents with a soft ‘Good morning’, making a beeline for the coffee machine.

Your father plated bacon and eggs for you and your mother, setting them at the table in front of you. You hummed as warm coffee settled in your veins before digging into your breakfast. Back in California you didn’t cook for yourself much, opting to eat toast or pre-prepared meals. You missed the home cooked meals provided by your parents almost everyday.

“I spoke to Topper’s mother this morning,” your mother interrupted the comfortable silence, eyes trained on you. Your attention turned to her at the mention of your friend’s name. “You should swing by their place today. I’m sure he’d love to see you.”

You and Topper had grown closer since Rafe stopped speaking to you. When you’d visit, the two of you often ran around the island together. He’d take you to the Boneyard ‘For old time’s sake’ or out on his boat with Kelce. The two of them never brought up Rafe to you, unlike Janelle. You didn’t see her much visiting home either, as she chose to stay in South Carolina most of the time. If you weren’t with Sarah or your parents, you were often with Topper. He filled that void inside of you with some warmth, but it was never full. There was still an emptiness there.

“Are you sure?” you asked, feeling reluctant to leave your parents.

Your mother scoffed slightly and waved her hand with a smile, “You can’t spend every second with us. You need to see your friends.”

As much as your mother would love to spend every second with you, she knew how important your friendships were. They were the people who would be there for you when she no longer could. It brought her comfort knowing you had people close to you to confide in. It made her proud that you developed such close relationships. Though, there was a storm on the horizon, and she wasn’t the only one who felt it.

“If you insist,” you hummed and stood from the table, placing your plate in the sink then pressing a kiss to your parent’s heads. “But you better call me if you need anything!” you called as you ascended the stairs to get ready.

You threw on a green bikini, in case you found yourself at the beach. You put on a pair of cut off shorts and a loose crop top then slipped some sandals on your feet. You grabbed the keys to your father’s car and made your way through Figure Eight to the Thornton house. A soft smile graced your face as you pulled up and saw the woman of the house stepping out the front door.

You climbed out of the car and the older woman’s face lit up as she spotted you. The two of you met in the middle of the driveway and she wrapped her arms around you tightly, “Y/N, honey, it’s so good to see you. How’s your mother?”

“She’s in good spirits. She’s as good as she can be,” you replied, pulling back and giving Mrs. Thornton a smile.

“That’s good to hear,” she gave your upper arms a squeeze before pulling away and moving to her car, “I’ve gotta run. Topper’s out by the pool. Don’t be a stranger!”

You walked around the large modern looking house and went through the gate. You rounded the corner and saw Topper standing at the bar built into the patio, presumably putting together a drink. There was music playing softly from the outdoor speakers and you couldn’t help but smile. He must have heard the gentle pat of your sandals against the cement because he looked up and audibly gasped when he saw you.

“My God, Topper, could your outfit be any brighter?” you giggled as he set whatever was in his hands on the counter and raced over to you. His orange polo was almost neon in the sun and his swim trunks were a similar shade.

“Shut up, come here,” he laughed as he reached you and scooped you up under the waist. You stood on your toes, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as your eyes slipped closed, basking in the warm and inviting hug.

Topper pulled back and looked down at you, taking in the dark circles under your eyes and the noticeable flush to your skin. He smiled softly and took you by the hand, pulling you into the shade where he had been previously, “How are you?”

You sat down at one of the bar stools and sighed heavily, putting your elbow on the counter and resting your chin in your hand. You tapped your cheek with your index finger as you pretended to think deeply before spewing, “I just up and left California a week before classes were supposed to start, I found out my mom has cancer and I came back to an island that I had no intention of ever returning to.” You paused and painted a wide smile on your lips, “I’m great, Top!”

Topper laughed softly and shook his head, grabbing a glass to make you a drink as well. “Dumb question, got it. You hate it here that bad?” he asked, staring at you as he passed the glass across the bar to you.

You took a sip of the drink and grimaced slightly at the amount of spiced rum the boy had used, overpowering the orange juice mixed in. You sighed again and played with the straw, avoiding his eyes, “Don’t get me wrong, I miss my parents and Sarah and you guys.. There’s just a lot of things I’d rather forget. People I’d rather not see.”

“How long has it been?” Topper questioned, the look on his face telling you exactly what he was talking about. He didn’t want to outright say it. He didn’t know how deep those wounds still ran. It took him over a year to get over Sarah’s infidelity and they weren’t even together all that long. He couldn’t imagine losing a friend of almost twenty years.

“Five years,” you said through a dry laugh. “Can you believe that? Five fucking years.”

“I’m sorry,” he responded genuinely. It was a lame response and he knew it, but there was nothing else he could have said. Nothing could change how the last five years of your life had played out.

You shook your head and leaned back in the chair, running your fingers through your hair, “I don’t even want to think about it. When I think about it I get angry, and I’m so fucking tired of being angry.”

Topper dropped the subject after that. The two of you finished your drinks and he took you to the island club for lunch, knowing you loved the food even though you talked shit about how prestigious the organization was. After that he took you to the beach and you watched the sunset from your favorite lookout. It was near a cliff but you preferred to sit down below, atop the large and cracked rocks where the waves crashed. The ocean spray cooled off your warm skin and the blinding sunlight reflecting off the water was your favorite. You felt at peace there. The roaring sound of the ocean drowned out even your darkest thoughts.

Topper watched you, the way your mouth would twitch as you thought of something subconsciously. He watched you close your eyes when a particularly large wave would crash and water splashed at your feet. He felt a pit growing in his stomach because he knew you wouldn’t be like this for long — so at peace. You were unknowingly a ticking time bomb, ready to blow everything and everyone close to you to pieces.

tag list (to be added, shoot me an ask or a message!): @pink-meringues @k-k0129 @solllaris @taiter-tots @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @jjmbanks @fttayla @ilovejjmaybank @jjmaybcnks @drewswannabegirl @diverdcwn @royalmerchant @sortagaysortahigh @queenk00k @ims0golden @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @obxmermaid @anxietyspacetart-15 @butgilinsky @teenwaywardasgardian @bricksatanakinswindow @fangirlvoice @juliarose21 @skiesofthesketchy @daughterofaphrodite @dontjinx-it @outerbanksbro @sportygal55 @nqbmf @xenagzb @sweetlysilent @loverofmineluke @aaleksmorozova @meltame17 if you want to be removed please let me know!

[radiantroope]

Lonely Heart || Rafe Cameron

Introduction

chapter summary: You’re overjoyed after being accepted into your top school until Rafe drops a bomb. The two of you have an emotional discussion at your going away party.

warnings: nothing really, maybe a swear or two, lightly edited

word count: 1.8k+

author’s note: the suspense was killing me and i couldn’t wait to post so here’s the intro chapter :)

series playlist | series masterlist | main masterlist

You’d been in shock all morning. You’d just gotten your acceptance email from the University of California, Los Angeles. Your parents were away on business and weren’t answering their phones, presumably stuck in meetings. You called the other two people closest to you that you couldn’t wait a second longer to share the news with.

“Hey, are you home?” you asked into the phone pressed between your ear and shoulder as you squeezed into your sneakers.

“Yeah, why?” Rafe replied on the other end.

“Great! Don’t go anywhere. I’m gonna call Janelle and I’ll be there in ten,” you avoided his question and hung up before he could reply.

You and Rafe had been friends since you were five. Your father and Ward were long time friends and now business partners. You practically grew up at one or the other’s houses and had countless family dinners together. It became a weekly tradition, Sunday nights were for Cameron-Y/L/N dinners. If you missed one, you never got to hear the end of it. Being an only child, you loved it. Sarah and Wheezie were like sisters you always dreamed of having. You would say Rafe was like a brother to you, but typically you didn’t have a massive crush on someone who was supposed to be like family.

The two of you met Janelle when you were ten. She had just moved to Kildare and you spotted her sitting alone at lunch one day. Rafe had started walking to your usual table with Kelce, but you stopped at the raven haired girls table. You asked if you could sit with her, to which she shyly nodded and avoided your gaze. The two guys had given you confused looks until you waved them over to sit with you and the new girl beside you.

Janelle had agreed to meet you at Tannyhill and you hopped in your car, taking the short drive through Figure Eight to the large mansion. You parked behind the truck and hopped out, making your way through the front entrance and into the quiet home. You called out the brunette boy’s name and heard him holler faintly from outside.

You walked through the living room and out the open french doors to the backyard. You found him sitting by the pool, facing the waterfront. He looked over his shoulder at you and you smiled widely.

“Y’know, it’s kinda hard to properly tan with a polo on, Cameron,” you teased, plopping down beside him on the sun lounger.

“Shut up,” he responded with a roll of his crystal blue eyes. He turned to look at you, noticing the glimmer in your eye and raised an eyebrow. “What was so important you had to come see me?”

You opened your mouth to answer when a loud, familiar voice interrupted, “What the fuck is so important you couldn’t say it over the phone?”

You and Rafe turned to see Janelle making her way towards you with a smirk on her tan face. Her nearly black hair was tied up in a ponytail and her electric green eyes glimmered in the reflection of the pool water. She sat down on the lounger opposite you and Rafe and raised one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

“Jesus, you two are like the same person,” you muttered.

“Spit it out, Y/L/N, since you corralled us all here,” Janelle insisted, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, staring at you intently.

“Sooo, I got an email this morning,” you started, biting your lip to hide the grin spreading across your face. You quickly continued, not able to leave your friends on the edge of their seats, “UCLA. I got in!”

You squealed and fell back in the lounger, hands clapping and eyes squeezing shut in excitement before you bolted back up to a sitting position. You turned to Rafe and immediately started rambling.

“I know it’s not Berkeley like we always talked about, but it’s only a couple hours difference! Well, five or six to be exact, but we could visit on weekends! I could drive up for one, you can drive up for the other. It’ll be a little different than we planned but I think we could make it work!”

Rafe and Janelle at in silence as you continued on your rant about getting into your dream school. They shared a look and the dark haired girl gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Y/N,” Rafe’s voice interrupted you, causing you to fall silent and turn to him. He had his head down, avoiding your gaze as he softly said, “I’m not going to Berkeley.”

You glanced at Janelle, who also avoided your gaze and wrang her fingers together in her lap. You let out a small, disbelieving laugh before asking, “What?”

“I’m going to UNC, Chapel Hill, like my dad wanted.”

You felt your heart drop into your stomach, a sickening feeling settling inside of you. Ever since you and Rafe turned thirteen you both said you would go to Berkeley together. You’d take on college together — like you had everything else in your lives. It was all the two of you talked about for the last five years. You only applied for UCLA because of your major and the fact that your mom went there and pushed you to. You never thought you’d actually get in. You always figured your plan with Rafe was set in stone.

“What happened to wanting to walk your own path? What happened to hating Ward setting up your future for you?” you stood up, staring down at him disbelievingly.

Rafe ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He closed his eyes and grit out, “Things change, Y/N. I don’t want to go to Berkeley. I want to stay here.”

You felt your throat closing up, eyes brimming with tears. You didn’t want to go to a college on the other side of the country by yourself. You wanted your best friend, the love of your life, by your side, how you always dreamed it would be. Now he’d sprung this change of plans on you without warning and you didn’t know how to take it.

You glanced at Janelle, who had her eyes trained on Rafe. He was bouncing his knee and biting the inside of his cheek like he often did when he was uncomfortable. She glanced up at you and shrugged once, leading you to believe she had no idea he was feeling this way. Slowly, you sat back down beside your best friend.

“Okay.. So you’re gonna stay,” you said softly and reached out, taking the brunette boy’s hand, giving it a small squeeze. Rafe looked you in the eye, forcing a smile to his face. He leaned into you, wrapping you into a tight hug.

—

Your going away party was rough. Everyone congratulated you and wished you good luck but your mind was elsewhere. Rafe had barely said a word to you when he arrived with his family. It was like every time you walked into the same room as him, he’d get up and leave. You’d try to go after him only to be pulled into a conversation with one of your parents friends. You entertained them all, wanting to please your parents who were giving you everything. You were forever grateful to them, as they were paying your monthly rent in your Los Angeles apartment and insisted that you didn’t work. They were giving you a monthly allowance for groceries and a little free spending. You swore to them that one day you were going to pay them back for it all.

“Hey,” you whispered to Topper who had been snacking on a fruit tray in the kitchen, “Have you seen Rafe?”

Topper looked down at you then glanced around at the other guests in your house. He bent down to whisper back, “Saw him head upstairs. Go, I’ll cover for you.”

You nodded and slipped away quietly, avoiding running into anyone as you climbed your stairs quickly. You peaked into the game room, then the media room and lastly your bedroom. Rafe sat on top of your bed and stared at the wall that used to hold hundreds of pictures. It was now bare, all packed away in cardboard boxes ready to go with you to California. His eyes traveled around the empty room before finding yours where you stood in the doorway.

“I’ve been in this room a thousand times and I hardly recognize it,” he said softly, hand smoothing over your wrinkled comforter.

You didn’t say anything, walking over and sitting beside your best friend. He held out his hand, a warmth spreading through his body as your fingers intertwined with his. He eyed the boxes stacked in the corner of your room and sighed.

“I’m not leaving forever,” you whispered, leaned over to rest your head on the brunette’s broad shoulder. “I’ll still be there for our family’s Christmas trip to Colorado and the Spring break trip to the Bahamas. I’ll be home during the Summer. You’re not losing me completely, Rafe.”

“It feels like it. How am I gonna go from seeing you everyday to every few months?” he asked, squeezing his fingers around yours. The words he wanted to say were on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed them down. If he said it, you wouldn’t go, and he couldn’t let you give up your dreams because of his selfishness. He had to let you go.

“I’ll call you every chance I get. We can have Facetime dates on the weekend,” you promised, tilting your head to look up at him. His eyes found yours and the pain in his azure irises made your chest ache. “You’re still my best friend, Rafe. That’ll never change. Right?”

Rafe gave you the best smile he could, one that didn’t meet his eyes. You frowned and reached up to cup his jaw, stroking your thumb over his cheek slowly. His eyes closed in fear that you’d see he was on the verge of breaking. You fought the urge to press your lips against his and show him how deeply you cared for him. You couldn’t jeopardize your friendship that way when it felt like it was already falling apart.

“Hey,” the two of you jumped at the sound of Kelce’s voice, turning to the doorway. He gave you both a sad smile and pointed his thumb over his shoulder, “Topper sent me to find you. Your mom’s looking for you.” he disappeared down the hall after that, leaving you and your best friend alone once again.

“C’mon,” Rafe muttered, standing from the bed and tugging you up by your hand.

You pulled on his arm once you were on your feet and wrapped your arms around his waist. His arms wound around your shoulders and squeezed you tightly, holding you as close as he could. Your face was buried in the fabric of his grey button up as you mumbled, “I love you, Raffie.”

Rafe chuckled at the nickname, a shortened name for giraffe because you always insisted he was too tall. He placed a chaste kiss to the top of your head and shakily whispered, “I love you too, mini.”

tag list (if you want to be added, shoot me an ask or a message!):  @starlightstarkey @pink-meringues @thirstystarkey @k-k0129 @solllaris @taiter-tots @jjmbanks @fttayla @ilovejjmaybank @jjmaybcnks @drewswannabegirl @diverdcwn @royalmerchant @sortagaysortahigh @queenk00k @ims0golden @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @obxmermaid @anxietyspacetart-15 @butgilinsky @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless (please let me know if you want to be removed)

[radiantroope]

A headcannon of Rafe edging y/n and ruining her orgasm?

this is my first one i’m sorry if it sucks🥺👉🏼👈🏼

FILTH DOWN BELOW

rafe edging you wasn’t unusual

he could spend hours doing it

nestled between your legs, fingers going to work on your g-spot while his thumb circled your clit

right when you thought he would finally let you cum he’d pull his fingers out

he had you in a similar position right now

legs spread wide, broad shoulders between your knees, keeping them open for him

he’d had you on the brink of an orgasm for almost two hours

his fingers were pounding away at your cunt, his cold ring practically burning your skin everytime it touched your soaked folds

there were tears streaming down the side of your face at this point

you were so close, so close

but he just wouldn’t let you get there

“r-rafe, baby, please! i’ll do a-anything. please, please, please”

your words were slurred but he still heard you

he smirked and brought his mouth to you pussy, blowing cold air right onto your clit

the cry you let out bounced off the walls

he attached his mouth to your clit and flicked his tongue, working you right back up and fast

“cum”

the word was muffled against your cunt but it was all you needed

you screamed as you came

your legs were shaking violently and you almost couldn’t breathe

then, the fucker stopped

he pulled his mouth away and stilled his fingers completely while you were mid orgasm

you started sobbing right there, overwhelmed and upset that he’d ruined your earth shattering orgasm

rafe crawled back up your body and brushed your tears away with his thumbs

“you didn’t think i’d let you have it that easy did you?”