#citrusandsalt

[lolapearl]

1 Day ago me and my family cooked a meal at a cooking class called citrus and salt. Mommy's friend Fayanne came. We made falafel, cheese dip, hummus, pita bread, and Shakshuka. I liked the shakshuka.

[naamahdarling]

3. If you had a million dollars, but you could only spend it on things starting with the first letter of your name [or your blog's name if you don't use your irl name on the internet, or your OCs' names, whichever you want to answer!] what would you buy?

HAHAHAHA I can abuse this if I’m allowed to categorize.

Accommodations (for shelter), aliment (for food), attire (for clothes), accessibility (VERY broad category that would encompass anything I needed to make it easier to function), art, author support (for books), angel fund (for charity), animal upkeep, acquisitions (for everything else), and all of this for acquaintances and associates also.

Or just “anything.”

If not allowed to categorize, I’m just going to buy a shitfuckload of alligators and go out in style.

[idiopathicsmile]

citrusandsalt replied to your post: so.

Long-time admirer/internet stranger here: The “am I x enough to get treatment” dance is the worst, and the compounding effects of being depressed and then feeling bad about your depression are such a suck vortex. As much as you can, remember to be kind to yourself. All the good advice you’re giving to your friends? Remember to give it to yourself too. Many hugs. xxx

is “am i REALLY depressed?” a common depression thing? that’s kind of comforting tbh. i feel like the more common narrative is people with depression not wanting to be diagnosed (stoically insisting nothing’s wrong! of course we shouldn’t romanticize denial, but as somebody who has never been able to pretend nothing’s wrong, on some level i totally do.) so the fact that i am just fingers crossed really hoping a professional will come in and go YUP YOUR BRAIN CHEMICALS ARE WAY OUTTA WHACK, KIDDO makes me doubt the ~authenticity of my problems. 

also because most of the stuff i’m experiencing is, in fact, just heightened versions of problems i’ve always had, like crying really easily or struggling to get anything done or or being overwhelmed by minor obstacles or the social issues/anxieties that come with a kneejerk self-loathing

and a lot of it, specifically, is stuff i’ve been criticized for since i was a kid, like i can remember from a young age being told i was too negative or too sensitive or that i just needed to get my act together or that the crying was self-pity and i needed to buck up 

and i can remember being a kid, crying in public about something, feeling totally humiliated and vulnerable and judged, thinking, ‘someday they’ll find out something was really wrong with me and then won’t they be sorry!’ in a very little-kid way, and it makes part of me now go 'gosh isn’t it convenient that there’s this handy diagnosis that would let you dodge a little responsibility on so many of the ways in which you’ve always been an inherently weak, broken person’

which is itself, you know, a perhaps somewhat depressed kind of thought

but--as i keep trying to remember to tell myself--all of that is fucking irrelevant if there’s a chance that being on medication would make any of my shit easier to deal with, if you feel very bad it’s ok to want to be happier, this is not really a conversation that requires a lot of internal lawyering!

anyway, thanks so much for the kind words! this little corner of the community has always been super supportive & understanding and i really appreciate it 

hugs <3

[naamahdarling]

Hello! Distraction asks incoming: 1. What thing (book/tv show/fanfic) are you evangelizing about lately? What's the story that's got you so excited that any time someone asks you for a recommendation, you grab them by the shoulders and say "BUDDY, YOU SURE CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE, LET ME TELL YOU--" (Mine is always Ancillary Justice, but I just reread Lies of Locke Lamora and it's also up there, and Black Sails is my newest!)

BLACK SAILS

We just finished S3 and without spoilers AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.

Just . . . FUCK.

It’s a REALLY good show, and also pretty hideously “problematic” in that Tumblr way where you love something but Jesus Christ there’s some shit they could have Easily Not Done but they DID do it so you feel obligated to make a disclaimer every time you mention it so people won’t think you Approve Of Charles Vane’s Behavior think some of the bad shit that happens is all right.

But it’s a GOOD SHOW, and by that I mean the plotting is hairpin-tight, shit is always changing, the fact that news had to travel by goddamn horse or boat actually leads to CONSEQUENCES, and hey, there are actually some queer characters that are not treated like shit because of it.

And by GOOD SHOW I also mean Charles Vane.  I am humiliated to find him as incredibly sexy as I do, because he is a pretty fucking awful human being, and I don’t think would have any tolerance for him if the actor didn’t NAIL That Walk and That Voice, but he does nail That Walk and That Voice.  I have filthy thoughts about Charles Vane and I will not apologize just because he’s a terrible person.

Everyone is an interesting character, too.  Like, nobody bores me.

Also, nearly everyone functions as an antagonist at some point, countering the goals and actions of someone else we like and are rooting for.  NOBODY is a Good Guy (except Billy Bones) all the time.  But nobody -- literally nobody -- is bad all the time, and even the characters I don’t like personally I find fascinating as characters, and the performances are incredible.

It also belongs to the genre of show where you will want to spoil yourself for major character deaths if those upset you, because it fucking happens, and at one point completely shocked me. I normally hate shows that do this for ~shock value~ but it’s done well here, since the plot and character stuff is so well put together that it can support the weight.

GOOD SHIT.

I’m always up for shoving any of Seanan McGuire’s books at people.  While recovering from surgery I reread all of the Toby Daye books and read the last two for the first time and WOW okay, so, they get SO MUCH BETTER as things go on, because they just build on one another so that by the end someone can just, like, gesture or make a face and you’re like “OH SHIT IT IS ON NOW.”  And her writing, while never bad, has improved, meaning they are sort of like watching the ongoing evolution of an author maturing as the narrative matures, which is so fitting for the series, and I just . . . love it.

And if you want to watch a good cartoon, boy howdy, Young Justice is where it’s at.

[gaysalads]

For the spooky ask game: werewolf, skeleton :3

yay ! :3

x

[gaysalads]

For the ship meme - gimme some homestuck ship opinions!

so i basically haven't changed opinions much since I first read homestuck, so most of these were just cemented early on without much thought, just gut feelings so its gonna be hard to vocalize

black vrisrezi has always been one of my faves, theres so much history and betrayal and tension there that I think its honestly undeniable! they are forever intertwined to me

dirkjake was good but ngl it did not draw me in as much as I would have expected

i never liked johnvris much. i love Vriska more than life and john isn't good enough for her /hj. but no, i think I just had other ships I liked more and while I've always been a multishipper, homestuck is too big and I had to focus on my main ships lol

send me a ship and I'll explain why I do or don't ship it

[gaysalads]

⭐✨🌟

mutual bingo

[naamahdarling]

(cont from before) 2: What clothing (or lack of clothing) is your favorite to wear? Doesn't have to be the most flattering, but just--damn. You feel good in it. [Answer for you or for your OCs!]

I just don’t do clothes much at all.  Like, I wrap my carcass up so people don’t have to deal with a naked person, and that’s about it.  Jeans, tee shirts.  I almost never feel good about my clothes.  I don’t have the money to buy things that I’d feel good about, really, or any fashion sense even if I had any money to do anything about it.  Stuff that I feel looks cute on my body gives me gross dysphoric feelings to wear because it’s all pretty feminine so I just basically hate dealing with clothing with an unrivaled fury.  It’s a sad situation.

So you get OC Answers because I’m thoroughly boring.

I put Ariel in this outfit recently: top/shorts and shoes.  That’s unusually playful even for him, he usually adheres to a “one STATEMENT garment at a time, max” rule and favors much more traditionally masculine things.  He loved that outfit, though.  He feels good in any of his clothes, though, TBH.  He only wears things he likes, and he has a lot of it tailored to fit so it looks its best on him.

Tabletop Kell has to wear clothes that are breathable in the island climate, but given his druthers he really enjoys wearing something nice and structured that sets off his best features, since with his build it’s hard to find off-the-rack clothes that aren’t just a hollered “I GUESS” thrown at a giant flour sack.  (I feel you, my dude.)  A nice doublet would look really good on him, and black and red or white and a jewel blue would flatter his coloring.  He’d feel pretty damn great about any of that.

Solomon feels best in well-fitting pants and tight shirts that show off his hip/waist ratio, and like Ariel he has a leather jacket with wards and protections worked into it keyed specifically to him.  He pretends not to be, but he’s actually pretty vain.