#classical shitpost

[tower-of-hana]

Hi I am Cato and I use He/Him pronouns. This senate building was built on the rightful land of the Etruscan people. I would like to apologize to all of the people of Pontic descent who I made uncomfortable with my speeches about how Carthage must be destroyed. In the past few weeks many Carthaginians have come forward and told me how they feel and I have been listening and learning. This behavior is inapropriate and we pledge to work with members of the Cartheginian community to stop it from happening again. To this end we are pleased to announce our new Tribunus Varietatis, Scipio Africanus!

[flum3n]

according to pliny, the first terracotta statue was invented by a greek potter called boutades of sikyon who made a lifesize sculpture of his daughter's boyfriend because she was so upset he had to part from her.

from one perspective, this is an adorable account of innovation inspired by the desire to soothe a loved one's pain.

from another, the first body pillow.

[sharpibees]

cool im salty but in a different font now

[tower-of-hana]

All the people in the Roman Empire who were privileged enough to be literate and had enough free time to leave written records thought the Roman Empire was great so it must have been great

[shitpostroundhouse]

[tower-of-hana]

In the function yearning like I'm Sappho

[tower-of-hana]

Aphrodite in modern culture: Oh she's the goddess of love how cute and wholesome!

Aphrodite in ancient Greece: Oh fuck here comes Aphrodite, she's going to fuck with my mind, oh shit, oh fuck!

[tower-of-hana]

(to the tune of the Chainsmokers song) 🎵We're slaying Paris🎵