Clebussy just dropped and ofc thy liege must do sumn about it
This blog is not a place for haters, I only like to make fun of every Li like I did with Sylus and Rafa (my favorite babies to bully ๐ ๐ฝ), and I love childhood tropes soooooo
Pairing: You and Caleb Tags: Crack fic, bullying Caleb, mc is NOT a damn baby, tomboy mc actually (or just a menace if you may), Caleb is trying to protect you... from getting yo dumb ass arrested, you guys are CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, not siblings ew, granny took you both in a promotional sale at Target idc.
When you two were kids...
You don't remember clearly your childhood bro (same lil homie)
You just remember the important stuff
Like when you Sparta kicked Caleb down the stairs cuz he said "bla bla u short +L +get ratioed +bla bla"
And well since you're a very normal cutie
He dislocated a shoulder yeah yeah but like he never dared to be stupid so like idk seems like a win bro
AND HE WASN'T A SAINT EITHER BRO
He once wanted to see if you could do a full circle on the swing at the park but here's the thing
he was scawed ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ
He was such a heavy big boy what if he got hurt? ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ๐ฅบ
(mind you that wuss had A GRAVITY EVOL????)
but chill guess who was perfect for the launching experiment?
yep thas right
so to cut things short
this was you in a span of 3 MINUTES
How you two managed to reach adulthood is inexplicable istg
Josephine was DONE with you two
Like this wasn't even the worst
Once Calen thought it was a good idea eating some yellow fruits he found on a tree
he didn't know what it was
it was this:
Some of you might not know it
But if you eat too much of those
It gives you SEVERE diarrhea
And that dumbass ate like 8 of these
He shat his pantsโข.
like he was wearing black shorts
fellas
his leg
i- EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
it was awful
and he was crying saying his ass burned and Josephine had to take his poopy ass to the hospital in her car and eurgh
chat don't forget to use protection pls it ain't worth it ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
So yeah this was the sort of thing you two would get involved when you were little.
When you two were pre-teens...
That piece of shit got taller
You did too but like BRO HURRY UP???? THE COMPETITION IS WINNING
and well at this age you guys started playing more rougher
it wasn't an accidental type of violence
it was attempted murder at this point ๐
and the funny thing is that Josephine thought that it was Caleb who would always start (poor fella...MUAHAHAHAHA)
naw girl you were crazy crazy ๐
chillest play fight between you two
(you the one kicking btw)
For a while Caleb was glad that you could stand your ground
But getting jumped at ANY TIME WAS SOMETHING ELSE YOU DAMN GREMILIN ๐๐๐๐๐
But that didn't last, when you reached 12 y/o your boobs started to grow
bro
lord have mercy
(I'm so glad I'm not at this age anymore gods)
You once jumped him on the couch
But he lifted his leg, so he could keep distance by pressing his feet on your chest.
Fellas
Jesus Christ
When your chest collided you saw stars
you fell back crying
and he jumped up cuz he knew HE would be the one in trouble because regardless of whose fault really is, the one that is crying in pain is the one that gets away with Josephine.
He didn't get in trouble cuz Josephine wasn't around but he felt really bad ๐ญ
You weren't a crier, you hardly cried actually, according to you it was cringeโข
So yeah u suddenly were very chill now (amรฉm ๐๐ฝ bless)
All you guys did whenever you wanted to beef you guys would just stare at eachother.๐ญ๐๐ฝ
After that you didn't feel like fighting him as much anymore
it was just some feral phase
but you still like to make fun of him saying to not talk to strangers and to not shit his pants ๐
And he calls you flat a board ๐ก๐ก๐ก๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ
(WHICH HOW DARE HE IT'S LITERALLY HIS FAULT???)
Highschool...
It's that time of life that things get a bit weird...
You fall in love for the first time
You lose friends and make new ones
You get introduced to the hierarchy of highschool
And you have to deal with the fact that SOMEONE HAD TO PUT LETTERS WITH NUMBERS IN MATH
Biggest bullshit istg ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ
And hormornes
You two NEVER talk about that time that you walked in Caleb jorking it for Shego from Kim possible...
๐ง๐ฝโโ๏ธ... ๐ถ๐ฝโโ๏ธโโก๏ธ๐ช
I mean... he never talked about what he saw when you fell asleep while reading some crazy Destiel fanfiction so you can't even blackmail him without having to kill yourself later ๐๐๐
BUT YOU GOT SOMETHING ON HIM THO LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HE DID THIRST TRAPS GUYS
YOU FOUND IT BY ACCIDENT WHEN YOU WERE CHECKING SOMETHING ON HIS PHONE ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
IT WAS THE RED LIGHT LEAN IN DOOR FRAME TREND BROOOOOOOOOO
You ran towards him to make fun of him and granny was there
bro lowkey felt like smashing your skull on the counter
he never felt more betrayed bro even granny was laughing like shiii ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
Now whenever some girl would talk to him you would be smirking like the damn joker you're evil bro like
He will never forgive you bro ๐ญ
After highschool
Things got even more hectic because of what Caleb wanted to do in the future
You wanted something for a while but... anyway, you were aiming to be Hunter now.
You two couldn't see each other much yadda yadda you know the drill (if you played the game ofc ๐คจ๐คจ๐คจ๐คจ)
Bro casually went kaboom
You sad
You mentally ill
You miss u family
sad sad
then bro again:
๐คก
Cuh
You were still paying for the funeral debt
AND HE COMES BACK JUST LIKE THAT???
BITCH?
GET BACK YOU ASSHOLE
Idk about yall but real mc's jumped his ass after that stunt
no, I don't care you are wearing your Colonel cosplay, Caleb ๐๐๐๐๐
But chile you COULD date him
but gorl try to be serious pls ๐
He still insecure from that time you saw his dick and said "Wow is it broken? Why does it look like a boomerang?"
๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
IT WAS NOT BROKEN OKAY
IT'S NORMAL TO BE CURVED LIKE THAT IT WASN'T EVEN THAT BAD
IGHT EVERONE HERE'S SOME CRACK JUST FOR U
Love yall
beat his ass for no reason cuz that's what he deserves for existing ๐ ๐ฝ๐ ๐ฝ๐ ๐ฝ
