#coa asks

[sadnesshotline]

10 for vegas im just trying to see something

10 - how do they make up after a fight?

now thu you already know.. 👹 he’d def get all pouty and flutter his eyelashes and do a BUNCH of goofy shit just to get your attention until you laugh then he’d teleport you into his bedroom and 🏃🏼‍♀️

[squishablesunbeam]

When was Quinn in the most pain ever?

Oof!!

It's probably a toss up-

The second time he was taken was excruciating. He was already so torn up and beaten to hell from the Captain and then he was taken the very next night and oh my god it hurt so much worse. He didn't have the same level of adrenaline coursing through his body as the first time and he was so exhausted and in so much pain and then Thompson just tore him right open again. Plus he realized that this wasn't going to stop. The Captain wasn't just going to fuck him and kill him, but he was planning on keeping him on his knees until his body eventually gave out. That realization plus the blinding pain of being fucked again so soon after the first time was pretty damn all encompassing.

But then he was flogged the second time and his back was just completely shredded. It wasn't so much while it was happening, which was excruciating, yes, but shock took over and he stopped feeling his body at some point. It was when he was left in the cage afterwards, thinking that Collins was going to be killed, and he was genuinely half a second away from just letting the pain overtake him so he could go follow Collins to whatever afterlife that may exist for them both. The pain was just rolling through him, hot and raw and aching and he was getting a fever from the wounds and his body and his will were both so broken, he was sure he had finally found the limit of what he could endure. And he wasn't wrong.

If Collins didn't do what he did and gave himself to the Captain in exchange for Quinn's medical care (as torturous as that was) he would have died that night.

I'd pick the first one personally but I think Quinn would have a hard time picking between those two times, but god there were so many others 🥺

[squishablesunbeam]

I'm curious, it was mentioned that Collins never talked about any past relationships, so was he aware that he was into men before Quinn?

Oh yeah, he knew ☺️ he's known he was bi with more of a preference for men at a pretty young age and he's had various sexual encounters over the years but just never anything serious beyond convenient sex buddy status.

Outside of a random one off every now and again, the interest wasn't really there, plus, he was conscripted into the military at like 13 or 14 (I'm forgetting his actual age) and he was put in pretty intensive training right away and then tossed into the wars soon after so there wasn't much time or opportunity.

He spent the majority of his life truly not thinking himself capable of actually having (or even desiring) a romantic relationship with anyone until he met Quinn and even then he tried to brush it off.

Quinn surprised him even before the mutiny. He was very drawn to him and would find himself aware of him in a way he wasn't with anyone else. When Quinn walked in the room, Collins felt it and he stayed aware of him and his movements until Quinn left the room and then he felt himself physically relax and that deep awareness snap back.

He was quite confused by it! He knew he was attracted to Quinn but I don't think he realized that it was even possible for him to go beyond basic physical/sexual attraction until things got a little more intense but he'd never experienced it before!! He's settled into it nicely though 🥰 that man is so in love lol

[squishablesunbeam]

are there any moments of Quinn’s captivity that really stick with Collins? Images he can’t get out of his head?

GUH!! Great question, anon!!

It's so strange for Collins to remember what he was like before that night he brought Quinn to his quarters. He feels like a completely different man and it shreds his heart to realize how much he looked away.

But back then, Collins took great care in avoiding Quinn whenever it was humanly possible. He didn't see him much at all, even though he heard about Quinn and the things that had been done to him every time he was with the crew. Quinn was, quite literally, the main source of entertainment for most of them so the conversation constantly and inevitably turned to Quinn quite quickly.

But here's a few that really stick with him ...

There was, of course, that glimpse of Quinn being strung up in the mess hall surrounded by almost all the crew. That one will haunt him until his dying day. Sometimes he thinks it would have been better to have seen what actually happened because the images his mind fills in during his nightmares has to be worse... but maybe not. Probably not.

Collins would willingly gouge his eyes out if it allowed him to forget that particular memory. But he has no right to forget, he knows better than that.

But there are two others that really stick with him.

The first was at the airlock with Murphy and the rest of the mutineers. Collins was barely looking at Quinn then. He kept his eyes dutifully ahead, for the most part, and tried to stay professionally detached. But the horrific sound Quinn made, when Collins lifted the lever that opened the airlock 🥺 that he'll never forget. Quinn wailed. As hands tore off his clothes and dragged him away, he was screaming and sobbing, but not for himself. The agony, the pain, the loss, in that sound...

He shakes his head hard whenever he thinks of it. Almost as if he could shake the memory of that horrific sound out of his mind.

He still hears its echoes sometimes though, when Quinn is having a nightmare. He can't explain it except to say the quality of the moans change, the way he cries out. He knows he's dreaming about that moment instead of all the rest Quinn endured.

Quinn clings to him in his sleep, quietly crying for the lives of his friends, friends that Collins himself executed, that he murdered. Collins can barely stand the guilt that wraps itself around his throat, so torn between wanting desperately to be the source of comfort Quinn needs in that moment and a deep, aching need to tear himself away from the man he loves because he simply has no right to be touching him. The guilt Collins carries is very very heavy. He thinks that too, is right. It should be heavy.

The second one, it was a breif moment, a passing in the hall.

He remembers the feeling that washed over him when he turned the corner and saw Quinn from down the hall. Jackson had him by the arm, his hands bound in front of him, and Quinn looked like hell. Collins hadn't seen him for at least a week at this point and what he saw made his steps falter. Quinn's entire left side of his face was covered in bruises, deep purple and greens, some old, some new. His torso was battered and his thighs...

Collins swallowed down bile as he got closer.

He barely looked like Quinn anymore.

Jackson nodded in acknowledgement to Collins as they approached, Collins nodded back, but just as they were about to pass, Quinn stumbled. It seemed his legs simply gave out on him. Collins felt his body twitch, an instinct to help someone so hurt, but he swallowed it down when Jackson quickly caught Quinn by the collar before his knees even hit the ground, and Quinn choked quietly as he allowed himself to be dragged back to his feet.

Quinn's eyes flashed to Collins', nothing but a fraction of a second before Jackson shoved him forward. He stumbled again and fell, landing hard on his shoulder. He was so weak. Jackson laughed. He opened the door to Quinn's right, the door to Jackson's quarters, and lifted the man up by his arms before shoving him into the room. The door shut behind them and Collins couldn't move.

The entire scene was horrific. But what stuck with him was the look in Quinn's eyes when he looked at Collins.

There was so much emotion swimming in his eyes, fear, exhaustion, anger, shame, acceptance, but it was what wasn't there that slapped Collins right in the face.

Quinn wasn't looking at him for help.

Not even a little bit.

And he wasn't there to help. Despite everything in his body and mind and soul telling him this was wrong. He would obey orders and walk by, like he always did.

And Quinn knew that.

If anything, Collins was just one tormentor among many in Quinn's mind that day. Certainly not a savior.

And that truth breaks Collins' heart every damn day. Because he wasn't there. He didn't help him. Quinn was left to fight and survive on his own.

It made him sick then and even more so now.

For so long, far too long, he was just as bad as the rest of them. Why would Quinn ever look to Collins for help? How could he?

But he does 🥺 now he does. He looks to Collins every single day with love and warmth and trust and Collins deeply believes, knows, that he is deserving of absolutely none of it.

[squishablesunbeam]

not sure if you still write snippets from consequence of action but can't help but think abt quinn being forced to act like a dog to earn things like food. or being forced to do menial tasks no one else wants to

Hiiiiii!!!!

I've thought so much about if I'm going to be writing more snippets or chapters for Quinn and Collins and I think it's complete for now 🥺 kinda breaks my heart to say it!! But I think I need to just let those boys rest ♥️♥️

That being said, I'm always so happy to chat about them and all their feelings and possibilities!! I love them so so much and I still can't believe how many of you want more of my sweet boys! It just makes my heart so happy! And so sad that their chapter seems to be pretty closed. But please always send questions and asks and thoughts!! It just makes my day!!

Ok so to answer your actual question lol

No one ever went all out but they demeaned him in similar ways and they definitely made Quinn beg for food! Jackson in particular was always making him beg for every single bite when he fed him through the bars of the cage and he'd definitely make him suck him off through the bars for his dinner (which Jackson would be so offended to call that a menial task 😂).

Thompson and Hawkins had both made Quinn crawl through the halls back to his cage a few times too, all covered in bruises and blood and with barely enough strength to hold his head up. Oh oh and the crew made him lick food up off the floor or eat out of their hands when they were playing cards in the mess hall. So things like that more than making him act like an actual dog though.

I think Bailey would have been into that more if he had any of those specific toys on hand. He loves his toys! He just loved to tie Quinn up in painful, demeaning positions, pick a favorite toy and get off watching Quinn squirm! (even though Quinn really isn't his type... he'd actually be more into Collins if given the chance) But I definitely think he could have had some fun lol

The menial tasks thing didn't really happen much but Quinn was allowed to sleep during the work hours so he wasn't just hanging around in the corner during the day much. The Captain would put him under the desk while he worked but that was for one specific task 😏

There was one time though, when the captain spilled his coffee across the desk and ordered Quinn to clean it up. He got up to make himself another cup and watched as Quinn pulled himself out from under the desk and started to so carefully lay out every single piece of paper to dry across the floor and wiped up the mess. He took his little task very seriously 🥺 maybe because he was actually given something tangible to do for once instead of just spreading his legs open further.

But it churned something deep in the Captain's gut and he got irrationally angry and turned on at the same time. He didn't like being reminded that Quinn was an actual human being and capable of so much more than a fuck toy.

He told him to stop and use his "fucking mouth" instead of the rag he was using to clean up the spilt coffee. Quinn flushed immediately, his ears going all red, it was almost as if even Quinn forgot for a moment what he was there for.

But the Captain looked angry so he did as he was told. He leaned over the desk and lapped up the mess until it was clean. The Captain came over and poured more hot coffee over the desk and Quinn went to lap that up too but the Captain ended up pushing his face against the desk and held him there as he unzipped his pants and fucked him before kicking him back under the desk again telling him to never forget what he was. Quinn tasted coffee and cum on his tongue the rest of the night.

Sorry I don't have more! He honestly spent most of his time out of the cage tied to a bed or bent over a desk for sure!

[squishablesunbeam]

are there any kinks or the like that Quinn was into before the mutiny that are ruined for him now? (Also just love thinking about pre-timeline Quinn)

Oooooh pre-timeline Quinn was only a little adventurous with kinky sex but he was just so playful 😭

He was pretty casual about sex so he explored a lot of the things his sexual partners were into, basically willing to try anything once. Sex for him was fun and free and bright and beautiful.

That's certainly changed 🥺

But from the things he's tried he actually liked to be tied up the most, he liked the teasing and the anticipation, but only with the right partner and only in a way he could easily escape from on his own.

I think it will be a very very long time for him to be able to enjoy this in a similar way again. BUT there will be a time when him and Collins are trying things out and Quinn keeps flinching with every little touch but he gets so frustrated because he WANTS THIS SO DAMN MUCH and Collins is gorgeous and he loves his hands and he loves being touched by him but, in the moment, he flinched, hard. So Collins suggests he tie his hands ☺️ Quinn does it in the same way he used to have done to him, with soft fabric and tied so loosely Collins could escape in a second if he wanted to. Collins is surprisingly hard almost instantly and the little smirk that crosses Quinn's lips is everything!!

Quinn also used to be into semi public sex as well, his favorite was when he and this super cute stranger hooked up in the history section of an old library! They didn't go all the way but it was enough that they definitely should have been in an entirely different section 😏 He really enjoyed that thrill of almost getting caught and the impulsivity of it all and that overwhelming need to do this right here, right now and damn the consequences.

This though is totally ruined for him. He never ever wants to be on display or seen or caught in any way ever again. It's hard enough for him to just exist in plain view of his new crew, fully clothed and safe but covered in scars he swears they can see through his thick sweater. But he does like to flirt with Collins in front of them, much to Collins as chagrin! He just loves to see him blush and dip his head in that adorable shy way but still lean over and give Quinn a gentle kiss on the lips to a chorus of whoops and hollers 😆 it's so sweet! Quinn loves all of that! But just not that kind of risky, semi public sex, nope, never again.

The last thing isn't a kink but more of just how Quinn was in the bedroom. He really just loved to be so playful and sexy and he was the kind to laugh into an open mouth kiss and kiss his lovers eyelids and tease his lovers until he found that thrilling challenge in their eyes and they saw that evil glint in his own! He could be a bratty little shit with the right partner and he loved to push them a bit until they finally flipped him over and fucked him, but even then, he'd find a way to push back and gain the upper hand again! Sex was just so fun for him! And that carefree playfulness will probably never be able to fully come back.

He'll eventually get close with Collins but he'll always have a different sort of edge to him now, a caution that won't quite allow him to be fully free and vulnerable. Sometimes he feels like he can forget with Collins, that he can find himself in his arms again, but the threat of his memories finding him there is always so painfully present, always right behind the most paper thin veil that is at risk of tearing and consuming him whole at any moment. They both know it's there and it tempers a lot of their choices in the bedroom. Even the fact that they automatically hold back just screams in Quinn's mind that it's because of all that happened to him and the fear of the memories hurting him again. They are so cautious because he gets triggered so easily but even their caution is triggering and it's so so fucking frustrating.

But they have their moments! Neither one of them ever fully forgets, but they have moments when they are able to get lost in each other and Quinn is able to feel safe and free and loved and wanted and Collins feels completely consumed by Quinn's love and desire and affection for him and it's 1000% enough for them both 🥺♥️ they love each other so deeply and, yes it's incredibly difficult so often but, my god, the way Collins would be so content with chaste kisses and Quinn's warm body next to his at night 😭 he just loves him so damn much!

Slight side note, but I have to say, for Collins, sex with Quinn is a fucking transcendent experience. When they fully get lost in each other and are able to find one another without the memories finding them first, 😭😭😭 Collins is just such a lovesick puppy over this man he loves so much!!! It's really quite cute lol Prim makes fun of him endlessly for his blissed out little adoring expression on his face for DAYS afterwards! 🤣

[squishablesunbeam]

sorry I’m obsessed with your characters so much but I was thinking about not Quinn but COLLINS having a ptsd like reaction while having sex. Like Quinn is in a certain position and suddenly Collins violently remembers passing by a room and seeing him in the same position only in the hands of the crew. UGH the layersssss

😭😭😭

I love that you're obsessed!!!! Your obsession feeds my soul!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

And oof!! Oh Collins 🥺

He is so painfully aware that any and all touch could potentially trigger Quinn in some way he can't even predict.

Even just laying in bed, with Quinn sleeping with his head on his chest, his fingers curled into tight fists as he whimpers through another nightmare, Collins worries himself sick thinking that it's him triggering Quinn in that moment. It's his body pressed against Quinn's, his arm wrapped around his shoulders.

It scares him to death.

He's tried to pull away, or loosen his grip, or try to gently pull out from under Quinn so he doesn't feel any unwanted touch. But almost every time, Quinn just holds onto him even tighter, or wakes up with terror in his eyes only to be quickly replaced with relief once he recognizes that it's Collins in the bed with him.

Sex is just an entirely more complicated thing! Collins is really good at recognizing the signs that Quinn is beginning to touch on unwanted memories in the moment and he so gently eases back and waits to see where Quinn wants to go next. It's such a slow process and Quinn is so often more frustrated than Collins could ever be about it all.

But he's SO aware. Unwanted images flash through his mind with even the suggestion of Quinn laid out before him. It's nothing he's actually seen though. (beyond the time with the captain and Hawkins, that was the most he saw for himself) Collins never saw him in the act any other time. Even in the mess hall, he left far before anything began, but he's heard all the details, and he's seen much of the aftermath. His imagination is strong enough for him to fill in any details he didn't see for himself.

I know they haven't quite gotten to having full on sex quite yet, but they've experimented and tested some of both of their boundaries.

The one that stops Collins short and strikes terror in his heart is when Quinn whines. He wishes he could love the sound, the breathy, high pitched whine from the back of his throat when his head is thrown back and his eyes are fluttering with want and pleasure... but Quinn makes sounds like that in his nightmares 🥺 they're mixed with terrified weeping and anguished moans but that keening whine lives there too, in Quinn's nightmares and in his memories and Collins knows those sounds too well at this point to be the one responsible for them.

Collins will hear those sounds and he can't help but stop, he drops his head to the warmth of Quinn's neck and mutters his apologies into his skin. Quinn assures him that he's ok, that it feels good, that he wants this but it's just so hard to get past it all. For them both.

And neither one of them pushes the other in those moments. They just hold each other and ensure one another that they are safe and exactly where they want to be. Sometimes they are able to start again, but sometimes not, and that's ok too.

Quinn knows the sounds he makes are a bit of a trigger for Collins and he's determined to rewrite those memories in Collins' brain! He's determined to whine happily and quietly into his neck when they hold each other in the morning, to moan lightly into his mouth when he knows Collins can see the smile on his face and the playful glint in his eyes. It's going to take so much time, but they'll get there!!

Quinn is determined to get there! Lol even more than Collins is ♥️ Collins would be so content just being able to hold Quinn close every night and kiss his neck after he's gotten out of the shower every morning. But Quinn wants more and, step by aching step, he'll make sure they are both not only safe in each other's arms but well satisfied 😏

[squishablesunbeam]

wow I’ve just read your consequences of action and I just wanted to stay it was brilliant! Thank you for writing it!! I’ve really got into Noncon Whump recently and started writing some myself too! Love your blog!

AH!! Thank you so so much!!! ♥️🥺😍🥰 Thank YOU for reading! Seriously one of my greatest joys has been putting this little story out into the world!! Love those boys with my whole heart!

And oh hell yes!! We need all the noncon whump writers we can muster!

You're the best! Thank you for your lovely ask! Just made my day 😘♥️