#coffee rant

[savageboar]

i don't like "cinnamon roll" flavored coffee because it's just coffee mixed with cinnamon. it is not cinnamon roll flavored bc a cinnamon roll also has bread and icing flavors. cinnamon roll coffee is always just very overwhelming bc it's just. a bunch of cinnamon jammed into my coffee. lay off a bit dude.

[nectareeen]

i hope i did u proud @kdinjenzen

original post here

[mick-is-asleep]

I am such a pretentious black coffee drinker the idea of adding more than 2 oz of cream or milk grosses me out when it’s pour over, frenzied press or an Americano.

Plain lattes are good though, I’ll do 2 pumps max of flavor tho.

[lady-divine-writes]

Good morning and welcome to my unnecessary coffee store rant!

So, I love Better Buzz. It's my new go-to coffee store. But they have a volume problem. Remember how we all got upset at Starbucks for their insane amount of ice in each cup? So we all opted to order our drinks without ice to get the full cup of beverage? Well with Better Buzz, it doesn't matter if you order your drinks no ice or light ice. You'll get the same volume of beverage as you would if you opted for full ice.

This is my large drink, light ice. See how it doesn't fill the cup. So yeah. If you Doordash your beverage and it comes like this, you can complain and get some money back. But this is ridiculous.

[glittergluekintsugi]

I was sick of the bland supermarket coffee so I bought a bag of Starbucks Espresso Roast. Dark. 

Let me tell you that I am NO pussy when it comes to coffee. I’ll always get the darkest roasts available and I fear no blend. But this thing... this FUCKING thing...

It’s darker than charcoal. The aroma alone will send you coughing. You start to grind those beans and it feels like you’re gathering ingredients to summon an eldritch horror. It’s cursed. It’s wrong. You smell your freshly brewed cup and it fills you with existential dread. You take a sip and you can feel God spitting on your face. If you manage to finish one cup of espresso you’ll probably learn the time and place of your death. If you drink two, you will know there’s no longer a place in heaven for you.

I am genuinely horrified to know there are people who knowingly ASK for this curse to be bestowed upon them when they order coffee in the morning. There are people who voluntarily put themselves through this. These cryptids walk among us and wear the face of human beings. I no longer trust anyone.

It’s sick for making lattes tho.

[bluesundayss]

Listen, I know this is a small thing to get annoyed about but as a barista it pisses me off:

So I’m watching a video on Facebook of a woman doing latte art and most of the comments are like this:

‘Omg, how much creamer.’ (Side note: wtf is creamer- it’s steamed milk she’s pouring?)

‘Too much milk’

Etc.

Guys. People. Fellow friends.

IT’S A FUCKING LATTE!

One/Two shots of coffee and the rest is milk with just under a third being the actual milk froth!

It’s not instant coffee you fucking idiots! It’s a latte! Say it with me L-A-T-T-E! There is more than one way to make a fucking coffee! Not everything has to be instant coffee or a long black ffs!

Okay, rant over.

[racketghost]

Sometimes I think about how fucking wild it must be to look in on the Good Omens fandom from the outside if you have zero understanding of it.

Like you hear people talking about this person(?) Named Aziraphale (which legit sounds like a prescription drug to lower your cholesterol) and then you find out it’s an angel that is for some reason both chubby and cute in a bow-tie but also a lil bit of a bitch and probably has a billion eyes in his actual celestial form and they all love that idea. That he has a billion eyes. They collectively stan the billion eyeballs and make adorable comics of those billion eyeballs getting snacks from the fridge at night or turning up the thicc meter on his bodily corporation like that isn’t an absolutely terrifying idea.

And then they lose their minds over Crowley who is a demon that is always inexplicably wearing sunglasses? And is also a snake? And they talk about this giant ass snake cuddling with this many-eyed angel as they read a book?? And sometimes the snake is also a Nanny. And they LOVE the nanny. Big Nanny fans. And somehow this bitchy grandma angel with all the eyes and the snake/nanny/sunglass hut employee FALL IN LOVE?

And then on occasion you will hear someone say how delightful it is that Pollution is non-gender binary.

[starlitexoxo]

I just fuckin ate some coffee grounds.

They taste terrible, do not recommend.

Whole beans on the other hand? I have no idea. Some people like to eat those. Wouldn't it taste the same?

Also, I'm very much enjoying waiting fuckin 30 minutes for my -decaf- coffee to chill in the fridge so that I can add almond milk to it without it curdling and becoming gross. (Sarcasm)

And our coffee maker is literal shit. It was like 5 dollars and it's practically just a hunk of pure plastic and a cord and it's so difficult to get the filter area (?) open. My dad says a 20-25 dollar coffee maker isn't worth the money and like... Yes? It is?? Because you don't have to play the 'haha how hard is it gonna be to open the coffee filter area this time?' game when you have a coffee machine that is of decent quality.

Update: oh god this coffee tastes like shit in general ew