Hello! My name is Diane and I am a teacher, a writer, and an avid flyer. My ADHD diagnosis actually came at a later age than most people. I am currently 35 years old, and I was diagnosed with ADHD two years ago at 33 years old.
In school, I was not a bad student, but I was definitely a social oddball. Still am. I got bullied a lot as a kid and had almost no friends. I never knew why, but looking back, I suppose it was because my failure to “fit in” and be “normal” is probably what did it. That and I had and still have a penchant for unintentionally offending people. Even now, I still don’t have many friends because I am socially awkward and don’t always know how to behave appropriately in social situations. I used to lament that I didn’t have very many friends, but as I’ve gotten older and wiser, I’ve decided that it’s not such a bad thing. The few people who are friends with me understand that this is just me and if I am offensive, I didn’t mean to be nor did I realize it.
I first suspected I had ADHD when I was in college for my teaching degree. I had to take a class on gifted and special learners, and one of the chapters I was assigned to read was about ADD/ADHD. When I read the symptoms of it, my mind was blown. The forgetfulness, chronic lateness, poor executive planning, procrastination, clutteriness and disorganization, my night-owl personality, and refusal to get up early in the morning…all of it finally made sense! I had struggled all my life to be “normal,” but what is that anyway? This for me was normal. I knew no other way of living.
At the time, I had no insurance and was living paycheck to paycheck, so I couldn’t afford to get a proper diagnosis, medication, or any behavioral therapy. Instead, I did what I always have done ever since I was a kid: I learned to cope with it and do my best to self-modify my behaviors, and I did this until I graduated college. But when I became a teacher, that’s when it really hit me. After three years of teaching high school English, my lousy principal told me that while I had the potential to be a great teacher and he liked me as a person, I wouldn’t be rehired the next year and was made to sign a resignation. I was devastated because I loved my 9th grade kids. After that, I wondered whether part (or most) it was because of my undiagnosed ADHD.
That summer, I researched my symptoms, booked an appointment with my doctor, discussed my troubles, and he referred me to a psychiatrist. After testing, I was given an official diagnosis, and my doctor and I then decided to try me on Adderall XR. The first time I took the Adderall, it felt like a fog lifted from my mind. For the first time, my head didn’t feel like I was navigating blindly in the clouds with malfunctioning instruments. Instead, I felt like I was finally on the VFR flight plan I needed with all of my flight instruments working. For the first time in, well…ever, I could think clearly.
Two years later, I am happily working for a better and more supportive school district teaching 6th grade science and social studies. I also am learning to fly, which is something I always wanted to do. Aviation does wonders for helping me cope with ADHD. I am learning how to multitask, how to plan ahead, how to implement and memorize important checklists, consistent routines (such as preflighting the airplane before flying), and building up my lousy working memory. It’s taking a hell of a lot of flight lessons, a lot of confidence failures and triumphs, but I can freaking operate a small plane! How many people can say they can do that with or without ADHD?
Although I still struggle with many things (like waking up in the morning), I can honestly say my life has improved, though I still have to work extremely hard to keep up my routines and stay organized so I can keep a job and keep my house in order.
The best advice I can offer to those who are just getting that diagnosis is this: accept it, embrace it, and own it. Your ADHD will always be both your greatest asset and your worst vice, but it's you. Find your strengths and build on those. Don’t dwell on your weaknesses. You are not lazy, stupid, inadequate, or unable – even though you will still feel all of those things from time to time, and that’s ok. It’s part of it. You are driven, intelligent, creative, and totally able.
As for striving for “normal?” Pffft. I learned long ago that it’s not going to happen. Besides, it’s overrated. :-P
