|| Status | Website | Ko-fi | YouTube || Collective Pattern Analysis: When one door closes, another opens.
As promised, this is our bonus reading this month - the theme was voted by you lovely folk. Thank you to everyone who voted!
Each pile touches a collective pattern, this is supposed to be "short and sweet" so I mixed my old reading format with the pattern analysis.
Let me know if this resonates and if you like it, so I can keep doing posts in this style!
Reading below the cut.
Pile 1 - Shadow
energy check: othala ("home"), ehwaz ("horse"), algiz ("elk")
For our energy check I was guided to draw elder futhark runes, this tells me you can be aligned with "older energies" such as pagan gods - from any pantheon. I did felt Hekate strongly while I shuffled the runes, most likely some of you use the label witch or are students of the occult.
Your new beginning is already here, my dear. Your keywords not only are earthy, they have that down-to-earth quality; the horse is an archetype of fast movement, but the elk is a steadfast grounded presence. Home is something concrete out of an abstract concept, I kept hearing "home is where the heart is" and my consciousness was guided to my literal heart.
Your new beginning didn't arrive out of the blue, it was carved out by you - with blood, sweat and tears. You deserve the good things that have only just began to happen for you, my love, they are the reward and the consequence of your efforts. I sense you broke free from an identity structure that kept you stuck and small. You definitively went through an intense period of shadow work.
To give you something more concrete, your new beginning is a new mindset. A renewed sense of hope - of justice, I heard - that life is not only terrible things, and that good things can indeed prevail in the end.
Closing channeled message: "Love your shadow, even your embarrassing parts deserve compassion."
Pile 2 - Treasure
energy check: uranus (innovation), mars (courage), pisces (depth)
I was guided to switch to my astrology runes. The energy for this pile is dramatically different than the previous, but I can't quite find the words to describe it, so I'll channel a few keywords that might resonate with you: cosmos, high-tech, solar space, light arrangement, spiritual council, president, morpheus.
I'm also getting something about astral travel/projection, some of you might been having very vivid dreams around the time of this reading - for some reason I'm getting the time the reading was posted, not the time you get across it. If this is for you, you'll know it through a physical sensation.
Your energy is more complex to read, pile 2. I'm feeling some past life issues here that were affecting your current life, definitively some deeply ingrained soul wounds that followed you through many incarnations. But you're working through them, learning your lessons - and these are not lessons as in passing silly tests the universe sends your way, no, these are deep lessons about being true to yourself and putting up boundaries.
A recurring cycle is hard to break when you aren't aware of it. Yet, here it seems your higher self and spirit guides are working behind the scenes, helping you break free from a subconscious space. This probably has something to do with the pattern coming from a past life, these are tricky to work through consciously, specially if you're not trained in energy work.
The new beginning for you, my dear, is the greatest gift one could receive: new life. The release of a heavy burden that you have carried for way too long. You'll know this gift by the feeling inside your gut, it might frighten you, but when you open it your heart will feel freer than ever - like a breath of fresh air.
Closing channeled message: "Your energy is precious, protect your peace like one guards a treasure."
Pile 3 - Kindness
energy check: 443 ("stability"), 343 ("hard work"), 652 ("trust")
Numerology is all about math - yes, I know, you don't need to groan. But there's something here about being logical, reasonable, punctual.
I was guided to skip the breakdown of your energy check, because, if this pile is for you, you'll know it - and I've heard 100%. You'll just know it; something in it, be it my words, be it the vibe, you'll just know this is your pile. And there's something here about "those cliche things" like when someone asks another when they realized their spouse was "the one" and they just shrug and say "I just knew."
Maybe your new beginning is about romance, maybe it's about starting a new chapter in your love life - be it taking the next step or finding the one. But, truly, I'm sensing this pile is multifaceted. I believe it's something deeper than that, your new beginning is a new relational pattern, not just a relationship. Most likely this is a new blueprint for your relational dynamics - and deep down you know it. This is just a confirmation.
So whatever you had wished for a long time that felt was impossible... well, think again, because it's possible now. And it's coming towards you.
Closing channeled message: "Speak kindly to yourself, and allow your inner world to be sweet."
"Why the identity you bring into relationships matter."
|| Status | Website | Ko-fi | YouTube || Collective Pattern Analysis: White Day
In February I posted a special reading for Valentine's Day, asking a simple question: “What is blocking your love life?”
I must admit that I completely forgot about this promised follow up post, despite having it on my mind up until that week. Lately I've been busier than usual, if you follow me, or have been paying attention, you probably noticed that we're going under a bit of a rebrand - hi, it's me Liliana from (formerly) The Seer's Oracle!
So, to maintain consistency with my brand's new positioning - instead of revisiting the three piles and do the usual PAC - I spent some time looking at the underlying emotional patterns that appeared across the Valentine's Day special reading.
If you haven't read that one yet, please do, and then come back to this post. It'll have a bigger impact on you that way, trust me.
First, let's go back to our three piles:
Pile 1 (Me vs I) - Pile 2 (Never Again) - Pile 3 (Me and Them)
These were the signifier cards I used for the Valentine's Day special, although I didn't showcase them there. On that post I was guided away from my (past) usual reading style, and only did "raw" channeled messages. Going forward the style will be similar to a "raw channeling", but I'll break down what I'm picking up intuitively and analyze it so you can leave this post with something of substance. You'll see what I mean below.
With that clarification out of the way, let's get into it:
Reading analysis below the cut.
I noticed something interesting while studying the piles on the Valentine's Day post; they weren't really about love, per se, but about the identity we bring into relationships.
More specifically how we adapt our identity to survive after being hurt emotionally, and how often this identity of survival - which is meant to be temporary - becomes our default.
This is how emotional patterns begin.
We'll get to the 3 patterns I observed in a moment, first I want to talk about why knowing and understanding which identity we're embodying in regards to our relationships is important.
As humans we have the intrinsic need for connection, and as we grow up we are constantly fed narratives of what love should look like. Unfortunately, these narratives come with a lot of mixed signals - whether it's the fairy-tale romance from Disney or the dysfunctional relationship of our parents/caregivers.
Truth is most of us have never been shown what healthy love, or even a healthy relationship looks like - nor what it takes to have one.
But, come closer, I'll let you in on the secret.
A very big part of it is knowing yourself, your needs, your wants - yes, your wants - and what really works for you in this particular moment in your life. Do you want to know another secret?
That is true for everything in life, not only romantic relationships.
You can't possibly expect to live a fulfilling life if you have no idea what makes you feel fulfilled. You want your dream relationship with your dream person? Well, what does that look like? And not in a "here's my SP manifestation list" - nothing against it btw, that's already more than what most people know about their own preferences.
The post I made for Valentine's Day actually has the answer to my initial question.
Why is important to know what identity you're bringing into your relationships? That's easy, it's because what most likely is blocking your love life is that identity.
I'm not walking in circles here - pay attention, this is a spiral that is going deeper.
Now, let's take a look at the piles and their respective patterns.
Pile 1 - Me vs I (The High Priestess)
"I know sometimes we think about running away and hiding from the world. I know deep down we hurt more than anyone will ever know. But we cannot go on like this, you know as well as I do."
That phrase stood out to me in the channeled message. If you resonate with it, you use emotional withdraw as a defense mechanism. Probably you excuse it saying you're healing - but, deep down you know that's not really what's going on. I know it, I've been through this as well.
It happens when you've been hurt so much that the only way to keep on living is turning inward and isolating yourself from the world. If I were to guess your attachment style based on this reading, I'd say it's probably anxious.
You reflect on every single thing, pretend your rumination is leading you somewhere, and you call it healing. Though, part of you knows you're only running away from the pain, pretending it doesn't exist, because it's easier to live and deal with life that way.
There's no shame in this copying mechanism, which is also a (unhealthy) defense mechanism. Yet you feel ashamed of feeling this way, and acting this way, and allowing your pain to dictate your life for so long.
Feeling all your the emotions you suppressed for all these years is the first step to healing this pattern. And I know it's very hard to wholly feel the pain you went through, my love, but it's the only way out of this.
To close this pile, I want you to reflect on this:
"Are you putting your life on hold until you feel safe to feel again?"
And if you are; do you want to keep your life on hold, or do you want to start living?
Pile 2 - Never Again (The Fool)
"It seems rather foolish to go down the same path we once have been burned on. [...] Naivety and bitterness are the two sides of the same face that must learn to coexist."
Here we have a vicious cycle of wanting connection and pushing it away.
While the previous pile denied themselves connection altogether, often choosing to isolate themselves rather than to socialize, pile 2 pattern is characterized by a roller coaster of closeness and withdrawn. I believe this is the pile those with disorganized attachment style will resonate with.
You might swing from feeling so much love you feel like exploding and feeling nothing at all, which most likely comes out as cynicism. This happens because you can't help it, you want to love unapologetically - but you don't know how to deal with the pain of being hurt, so when it happens again you swear to yourself "never again."
This is a complex pattern to deal with, and I'm not going to make this easy to swallow.
You need to learn to manage your expectations - both positive and negative.
Judgment is heavy on this pile/pattern; you might judge too quick, or not at all. And you most likely have a fear of being judged that feels almost crippling.
It's like having your heart torn apart because there are two forces pulling it in opposite directions. I was like this when I was a child, so I know how heartbreaking it is to not have that stability you crave so much.
Closing this pile I bring you something to reflect on:
"Are you trying to prove a point by punishing your heart for still wanting connection?"
Often we keep doing the same things because there's an unconscious need to relive the wound to find closure, this is something called repetition compulsion - in neuroscience this is the way our nervous system has to try to regulate.
Pile 3 - Me and Them (Page of Swords)
"I have learned to stand up for myself when no one else dared. An uphill battle I've won, and I've made my lair on that mountain. I'm not coming down, for nothing, and for no one."
You know when you've gone through so much shit in a span of 24 hours that you just raise your hands and say I give up?
Probably, because that's been your whole life, hasn't it?
It might have felt like people were out to get you - and who knows, maybe they were. Maybe you're one of those people others hate for no reason.
You tried so much to keep the light in your heart on, but it's pointless when all it seems to attract is pain. So you shut it off. You stop polishing the rough edges, you stop staying silent when someone tries to be "funny" on your account, you stop caring what people think of you.
It makes you feel better, it makes you feel empowered - until it starts feeling pointless again. You want to know why it feels like nothing changed?
You're holding your personal agency like a weapon, that's why. You wear independence like armor. That's not emotional maturity, my dear, that's a deep seated fear of being caught in a position where you need to depend on someone you can't rely on.
There's a lot of anger here, specially if you have a background with a rough childhood. Here we have the avoidant attachment style. You feel that the only way to be strong is to keep people at arms length, you fear if they get too close they'll see your cracks and you'll shatter.
I still deal with this, being honest, but I don't struggle with it as I did a few years ago. So, what I can tell you from personal experience is that healing this pattern is a slow process. And you'll need to start opening up to relying on people - the "trick" here is to start with very small things and to pick someone that you know is responsible.
Responsible people usually can be relied on. The small thing can be something that you normally do it yourself, but that wouldn't suffer if someone else did it - for example, I'm responsible for feeding my family's dogs, but sometimes I'm too busy and can't do it on the usual time, so I ask someone else on the household to do it that day.
The worst that can happen if the person doesn't do what I asked is the dogs eating later than usual - because if they didn't do it, I will do it later. Would I be disappointed by them? Yes. Would I hesitate to ask them again? Probably yes. Would I ask them again? Yes, I would, because making a mistake one time is a mistake.
Now, if they did it again, it's a choice. I don't need to scrutinize them, I'll just not ask them again. I'll ask someone else.
If that other person ends up not doing either, that's great actually, now you know that you can't rely on these two people, so you won't.
There's no need to paint the whole world as unreliable because these two people are unreliable - the world is bigger than these two people.
And that, my dear, is how you'll heal this pattern; By understanding that the world is not made up of only the people that seem keen on hurting you.
Finally to close this pile/pattern, I'll ask you reflect on this:
"Is your strength a pillar, or a wall?"
A pillar holds up a roof under which life can thrive. A wall protects from outside harm, but also restricts life to expand as it wishes.
This was a long post, but it's still a condensed version of everything I had to share about this topic.
I appreciate you being here, and I sincerely hope this post helped you in some way.
"Why you feel you're breaking apart while trying to heal."
|| Status | Website | Ko-fi | YouTube || Collective Pattern Analysis: The Foundations of Healing
This analysis is based on the archived reading titled: "A Soothing Heart Healing (Channeled) Message"
We often approach healing with a specific goal in mind: we want the pain to cease. And we're often willing to do whatever it takes to make it stop, but we sabotage ourselves - and the healing process - because we want it to be a quick fix.
On this collective pattern analysis I'm going to break down why the healing process we need rarely looks like the healing process we want.
The screenshot are the piles from the archived reading; If you read that one, you can pick the same pile for an in-depth breakdown.
The desire for a quick fix is a natural human reaction to feeling pain. There's varying ways this can manifest, but it usually shows up in two ways: we either want a version of peace that looks like a return to the familiar, or a rapid shift that leads us to a better place.
The truth is we're constantly trying to escape challenging situations, because these trigger difficult emotions we don't feel ready, or capable, to deal with (yet). We then get stuck in loops of reliving the pain and running away from it.
From a systemic perspective, this push and pull pattern is actually us delaying our psyche's attempt to reorganize itself. Like when we accidentally scratch a scab because it was itching too bad to resist.
The good news is:
Continue reading below the cut.
"Every time you scratch the wound is a new opportunity to heal it."
We perceive these through negative lenses. The automatic thought that comes up for most of us is: "Everything is going wrong in my life."
In the tarot community they are referred to as "tower moments", when they get too intense it's the infamous "dark night of the soul."
Essentially this is the moment in our lives when outdated identity structures are asking to be demolished to make room for a more aligned version of the self.
Now let's take a closer look at the patterns from each pile:
Pile 1 - Daily commute
On the archived reading we established that you might be caught up in chaotic circumstances, but determined to solve whatever is causing them. Your heart desires freedom, and at the core this desire is to be free from the chaos.
Analyzing this pile further, it's clear that this is an identity pattern - you felt so hopeless about your circumstances for so long, it just became part of who you are.
You may label yourself as someone who has bad luck. Maybe call yourself a fighter, or a dreamer.
But the thing about labels is that they're containers of our reality; if you think yourself a fighter, reality will keep giving you things to fight. If you are a dreamer, you'll keep on dreaming without ever doing something to bring those dreams into reality.
To shift an identity pattern we need to go through a rebirth.
This is why healing feels like breaking apart - because that is what is happening. The identity that kept you safe, even if it was built on pain, is being dismantled. A part of you is dying, so another part can be born, and this is the natural cycle of life.
The confusion you feel isn't a sign that something is going wrong, it's a sign that something is finally moving - you just can't see or name it yet.
From personal experience I can assure you two things: It'll never be a quick fix, and it'll always be confusing as hell.
When we arrive at this point in our lives - and believe me, all of us go through this at least once - we want the healing to be as easy as taking a bath. In reality, we need to shed the old skin completely, and, since we aren't snakes, this is a long and uncomfortable process.
It is as if we are completely baked in mud, and to be really clean we need to scrub all of it really hard. Maybe stay soaking in soap for a few minutes to make it easier.
We know in the end our skin will be raw and sensitive from all the scrubbing, that's why we hesitate and try to buy time.
I'll close this pile sharing the knowledge that healing the sensitive skin happens a lot faster than getting clean from the mud.
Sometimes healing feels disheartening because we're forced to face the truths we have swallowed for so long.
For further reflection I'll ask you this:
Are you hiding behind labels because they genuinely still resonate with who you want to be...
Or because you're afraid if you let them go you'll lose who you are?
Pile 2 - First Home
The archived reading told us right away that this is a relational pattern; we went over how you might have lost yourself in people pleasing, childhood memories around Halloween being of significance, and father wounds; but also how the loving presence of a maternal figure was your anchor.
The contrast of the two energies in that reading are giving me the picture of a cosmic clash. Healing. That is healing. That is what healing feels like sometimes; being torn apart by forces beyond our control.
This is especially true for relational patterns, because they were never just about you. They were built inside a system; for many of us that system was our family. But any dynamic, or set of roles that were handed to you before you were self-aware enough to choose, crystalizes into a relational pattern.
When you begin to heal, you're not just changing yourself, you're pulling a thread that runs through everything and everyone that shaped you. The resistance you feel isn't a lack of self-awareness though, it's the weight of the whole system pushing back.
The system, like our ego, is designed to keep us safe, but there comes a moment when the walls that meant to protect us becomes a prison.
Healing here is the heart's desire for this pile. Healing here means freedom; and to be free you need to tear down the cage, even if it's golden and covered in velvet.
To quote the archived reading directly:
"You want to alchemize the pain into strength, and start a new chapter in your life. One where the old wounds do not interfere with your choices and day-to-day life. I believe you are conscious of this desire, even if you feel a bit lost on the source of those wounds."
This pile's original reading reassures us that tower moments are a necessary part of life, they're a means to an end - the end we desire, not the end to all things.
Right now healing may feel like dying, but one day it'll be the most beautiful feeling you have ever experienced. Because healing is the purest form of self-love, dear. When you choose to heal, despite all hardships that come with it, you're choosing to love yourself unconditionally.
And to close this pile I'll leave you with this reflection:
Are you choosing yourself, or are you still trying to please someone else?
Your first home is yourself.
Pile 3 — One-time Vacation
In the archived reading we talked about de-cluttering; not only physically, but mentally, and emotionally. If you chose this pile you are/were in a process of releasing whatever no longer serves your highest good.
Releasing often feels like loss, and loss almost never feels like progress.
Here we have a recurring pattern that manifests as your soul longing for connection. With this longing we often look for external connection to fill the void, but what we are actually missing is the connection with ourselves.
Healing is processing trauma - and trauma, despite what most people think, doesn't need to be earth-shattering.
Any experience that dysregulates our nervous system and goes unprocessed is traumatic in its own right. Because trauma is not what happened to you, is how your body reacted.
When we don't find our way back to a sense of safety, and don't integrate the experience in a healthy way, it stays in the body as unfinished business.
We process trauma in layers, because it happened in layers, and was internalized in layers. Putting in a very simple way, this is what happens to us during a traumatic event:
intense external stimuli -> nervous system goes into fight or flight -> internal emotional world is shaken -> internal mental world tries to rationalize experience -> experience is processed rationally so we can make sense of our emotions -> nervous system finds it's way back into safety -> external stimuli is now known to our nervous system and no longer felt as intense.
Enduring a traumatic event doesn't necessarily means you've been traumatized by it. Traumatization only occurs when the trauma is internalized - meaning we integrate the experience in an unhealthy way.
This pile was a lot more technical, but I felt the need to explain this process. Some of you might be too hard on yourselves for needing more alone time, or you label yourself as lazy because you feel tired all the time or are feeling more tired than usual.
Trust your body, listen to it; it's speaking to you, telling you what yours needs are in that moment. This is also part of healing. And healing isn't linear, just because yesterday you were on top of the world doesn't mean today you'll be there too.
To close this reading I'll share part of the channeled message in the original reading:
"Slowly but surely clarity comes in ways unexpected. You feel the need to learn how to swim, but know you only need to float. [...] No one knows what it took to get you here, and no one needs to know; The lesson and understanding belong to you, there's no need to apologize or explain yourself."
Give yourself some grace to find closure, you're releasing what was never yours to carry.
ℹ️ Our free general readings are published every new moon.
We also have free bonus readings once in a while, which happen when I feel guided to and also are interactive - meaning you can vote the theme in a poll.
Newsletter:
"Why the identity you bring into relationships matter."
"Why you feel you're breaking apart while trying to heal."
Bonus Readings:
"Bonus PAC: "What new beginning awaits you?" 🎁
— Much love, Liliana (formerly The Seer's Oracle).
