how was dressing up as vampy girlnavy Collins today, you might ask? well...
... like a dream, sir.
(featuring some collins censorship in the background lololol)
second look with a finished diver's helmet + a different makeup vibe (zombie? werewolf perhaps?) coming tomorrow!
this girlnavy look is heavily inspired by @thesilliestpotato's sketches of Collins. Li, your art is a GIFT. i hope you know that!
this is also my first legit attempt at cosplay, i guess? and boy am i having SO much fun with it. plus, the prep made me realize just how excited i am to have salt and pepper hair of my own!!! : )
and this time, their stomach's horrible, from supper.
(get it? it's a zombie/undead look...)
tummy trouble is painfully relatable considering all of my recent health shit...LMFAOOOOO
shoutout to my amazing partner for being a darling and a cheerleader while taking photos of me at the cemetery, and shoutout to the little corner of the internet that i've found that has been so damn sweet and supportive of this cosplay.
as a creative that struggles with c-ptsd, and a trauma-informed professional/advocate, Second Master Collins is a character from The Terror that is oh so near and dear to my heart. the archival research i've done so far on the very real person that was Henry Foster Collins has, honestly, only solidified that feeling (holding the space for nuance re: contributing to imperialism and colonialism, of course). being able to thrust all of that energy into my first legitimate cosplay has been such a damn treat. so thankful for the kindness from y'all that i've received during the process.
i'll create a more proper write-up about making the helmet later, but for now:
…in less serious news about the ren faire: i ran into collins. askdkglslfkg
editing (after reblogging yesterdee, too) to add that i'd be remiss if i didn't plug the artisan!! found them: Wizard Walkers at the PGH Renaissance Festival
hate to over-promise and under-deliver, but collinsween part 2: electric boogaloo will happen tomorrow, not tonight! dealing with some light health nonsense, so partner and i are opting for a little photoshoot tomorrow at the cemetery near us instead :)
in the meantime, have a sneak peek at the diver’s helm…
very proud to say i made this myself! still slowly but surely working on finishing touches re: paint and refining cuts/shape, but i’ll do a little write-up about how i made it later.
(a parting glass) to henry foster collins:
a fan playlist
Playlist · 21 Songs
hark, sailors! behold: my favorite fandom playlist i've ever made. a folky-leaning, sad tribute to our beloved diver, mister collins. (╥﹏╥)
both apple and spotify links included for access's sake. track list and lyric pulls under the cut! (un)happy listening!
also! credit where credit is due:
shoutout to both @n0ahph0bic and @bell-swamp-fitzjames, my beloved vibe curation music moots xoxo
a VERY serendipitous nod to new pal @weeniedogjrs for giving me a delicious idea for a closing track to this. so glad that you messaged about hadestown before i started finalizing this post!
general vibes: the playlist follows collins's arc throughout the show, from start to bitter end.
oak & ash and thorn - the longest johns
a proper introduction, and a light nod to his father's connection to carpentry, as referenced in the show. also a hint at the demise ahead of him re: wine of coca.
but whether a lad be sober or sad / or mellow with ale from the horn / he'll take no wrong when he lyeth along, / 'neath oak and ask and thorn...
the devil down below - gaelic storm
a reference to the expedition as a whole, and the fate that awaits them all (and collins, down below).
and we'd shout, shout, shout / shout at the devil down below...
scarborough fair / canticle - simon & garfunkle
an easy connection to carnivale for me.
are you going to scarborough fair? / parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme? / remember me to one who lives there / she once was a true love of mine...
cinder and smoke - iron & wine
the horrors of carnivale.
cinder and smoke / the snake in the basement found / the juniper shade / the farmhouse is burning down / give me your hand / and take what you will tonight / i'll give it as fast / and take what you will tonight...
army dreamers - kate bush
something something, hamfisted reference to collins's troubles with sleep, something something, ptsd.
what could he do? should have been a rock star (but he didn't have the money for a guitar) / what could he do? should have been a politician (but he never had a proper education) / what could he do? should have been a father (but he never even made it to his twenties) / what a waste! army dreamers...
o children - nick cave & the bad seeds
playing with light themes of paranoia, slipping sanity, etc. with this one.
poor old jim's white as a ghost / he's found the answer that we lost / we're all weeping now, weeping because / there ain't nothing we can do to protect you...
all along the watchtower - bob dylan
not only a banger, but a hint towards collins seeing the insanity in himself, unable to find relief, as well as his connection to spyglasses and the crow's nest.
"there must be a some way out of here," / said the joker to the thief / "there's too much confusion, / i can't get no relief..."
hold on - tom waits
the scene between goodsir and collins at camp.
oh, you got to hold on, hold on / mm, you gotta hold on / take my hand, i'm standing right here / you gotta hold on
into the mystic - van morrison
bit of a palate cleanser before the playlist properly descends into wine of coca/death territory. this is what i imagine collins would yearn for looking back at how things felt at the start of the expedition, fresh to being second master.
hark, now hear the sailors cry / smell the sea and feel the sky / let your soul and spirit fly / into the mystic...
bottom of a bottle - julien baker, TORRES
drowning in wine of coca.
i lost my nerve / so i searched the corner bar / i lost my faith / so i went wishin' on a lone star...
[...]
next thing i knew, i was horizontal and my friends / were fishin' me out the bottom of a bottle / i'm missing you more every day / i can't keep the wantin'-you at bay...
magpie - the mountain goats
magpies are associated with fearlessness, good/bad luck, omens, and death. sparrows are a common tattoo and symbol for sailors, but i think of magpies when i think of collins. (i have a magpie tattoo and love corvids, though, so i'm biased)
try hard to do your best / the magpie will have his way...
[...]
and remember what we had here / when there was something left to save.
casimir pulaski day - sufjan stevens
a nod to collins watching his friends die.
in the morning, in the winter shade / on the first of march, on the holiday / i thought i saw you breathing...
dirt - julien baker, TORRES
more references to wine of coca here, as i imagine collins's addiction/poor coping got worse. also makes me think of the potential of collins trying to find goodsir while in a stupor.
you're my first dial after last call / ringing you up just to shit-talk 'til i pass out / if you ask how i've been doing, i won't lie / more than half the time, i'm only skatin' by...
funeral pyre - julien baker
julien baker is my go-to collins artist. hands down. if i'm writing my AU chapfic with collins and don't have a playlist, i put on one of julien's albums. ouchie!
i wake up with the same pain every night / digging a hatchet into my left side / clearing my chest for something to burn / ash from a decorative urn...
salt in the wound - boygenius
the arctic hardens his wounds. the wine of coca does, too. he's accepting his fate, and we're closing in on his end here.
i'm gnashing my teeth, like a child of Cain / if this is a prison, i'm willing to buy my own chains...
no shade in the shadow of the cross - sufjan stevens
nearing death. maybe a last bit of sanity right before he drinks the last wine of coca he'll ever taste? he prepares to see a million daybreaks, all in one?
i slept on my back in the shade of the Meadowlark / like a champion, get drunk to get laid / i take one more hit when you depart. / i'll drive that stake through the center of my heart / lonely vampire inhaling its fire / i'm chasing the dragon too far...
will anybody ever love me? - sufjan stevens
seeking comfort in anything that offers it. all that collins wants is love, i think. he wants to be understood. to be held.
tie me to a tiny wooden raft / burn my body, point me to the undertow / push me off into the void at last / watch me drift and watch me struggle, let me go...
hurt - johnny cash (cover of nin)
he hurt himself, but so did tuunbaq. this is the end.
what have i become? / my sweetest friend / everyone i know / goes away, in the end...
the parting glass - boygenius, ye vagabonds
(rip sinead o'connor.)
the last three tracks here are a tribute to collins - what i imagine would have happened if the arctic would allow for a proper memorial. this is him in the afterlife, in the face of the million daybreaks, looking back. finally at peace, i hope.
for all i've done for want of wit / to memory now, i can't recall / so fille to me the parting glass / good night and joy be with you all...
bones in the ocean - the longest johns
this could be goodsir remembering collins, or crozier looking back at the entirety of the hell that was the failed expedition. alternatively, an AU: what if collins was able to leave? what regret would he feel? what would he carry with him?
as the souls of the dead live for'er in my mind / as i live all the years that they left me behind / i'll stay on the shore but still gaze at the sea / i remember the fallen, and they think of me / for our souls in the ocean together will be.
we raise our cups - hadestown original cast recording
lastly, here's to our diver. our underwater orpheus. he looked back, saw euridice (orren), and we all wish that he hadn't. but at least it meant that he loved him, and loved his crewmates. he cared. that was the strength of his softness.
but the ones who sing in the dead of night / we raise our cups to them / wherever he is wandering / alone upon the earth / let all our singing follow him / and bring him comfort...
[...]
we raise our cups to them / and drink 'em up / we raise 'em high / and drink 'em dry / to orpheus and all of us / goodnight, brothers, goodnight.
if you read until the end, THANK YOU! collins is, decidedly, my favorite character from this show. i have so many strong feelings about him, and loved pouring my heart into this tracklist. i hope y'all enjoy. mwah!
omg guys collins is in my phd sem reading this week (teehee)
(from chapter 3 of The Social Life of Information by John Seely Brown and Paul Duguid. really great read about social science, its connections to the development of tech, and said development's impact on information science!)
